She Loves Me

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She Loves Me Page 18

by Foster, Melissa


  “That’s not what I meant,” Harley said evenly.

  She faced him again, struggling against the pain rattling inside her. “I might not be touchy-feely or good with words like you are, but damn it, Harley, those things I’m doing mean something to me. Something huge that I’ve never felt before. But all of this just goes to prove what I told you when we started this crazy shit between us. I can’t be whatever it is that you’re looking for.” Tears welled in her eyes. She willed them not to fall as she reached for the door and said, “And for your information, my bedpost hasn’t seen a fucking notch in months.”

  “You’ve never said you were crazy about me before.”

  She froze at the strain in his voice, still holding the doorknob. He was standing behind her, and she was glad he couldn’t see the tears in her eyes.

  “I don’t play games, Piper,” he said firmly. “But I know you. I know when we’re close, every snarky comment you make is to protect your heart. I get that you have built iron-clad walls around yourself, and I respect that. But guess what? Yours is not the only heart that needs protecting.”

  His words hit her like bullets in the chest. She could barely breathe. She was trembling, and the tears she tried to will away blurred her vision.

  “If you want to walk out that door, go ahead. But that’s on you, Pipe.” He moved behind her, his presence as familiar as the hurt inside her was foreign. “I don’t want to fight,” he said in a gentler tone. “And I don’t want to change you. I’m willing to wait however long it takes to earn your trust, but I can’t read your mind. You have to clue me in to things sometimes, like what you feel for me. Otherwise I’m just spinning my wheels, trying to guess where your head is.”

  She inhaled a ragged breath, debating bolting. She lowered her hand from the doorknob, and without facing him, she said, “It would be easier to walk out that door and never look back, to just pretend we never happened, than it would be to do this.” She turned toward him, tears spilling from her eyes at the pain in his. “But I could never pretend we didn’t happen. Not after you’ve opened my eyes to all that you really are, to us.”

  His lips curved up, and he reached for her hand. “Then don’t go.”

  “You don’t get it, Harley. I suck at this stuff. I may never be good enough at it to be the person you need, no matter how much I might want to.”

  “That’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself. Ever heard of baby steps? So you’d rather give the shirt off your back than confess your true feelings? That’s not so bad. I just need to know what those feelings are so I know if I’m misinterpreting us.”

  A choked laugh came out, drawing more tears. “Don’t you get it? I don’t know what to do with everything I feel for you. It scares the crap out of me. It’s like I was a perfectly maintained playing field, and you came in and trampled all over it, kicking up so much dust I have no idea which way to turn.”

  Harley knew, could feel, how difficult that confession was for Piper to make. Her words sank beneath his skin, rooting in his heart. “I know you’re scared,” he said softly. “I’m scared, too. What we have is so strong, Pipe. Stronger than anything I’ve ever known.”

  She nodded vehemently, tears wetting her cheeks.

  He framed her face in his hands and brushed away the wetness with the pads of his thumbs. “What you just said is everything.”

  “What?” Confusion glimmered in her eyes.

  She really didn’t get it, and that only made him love her more. “In your own Piper way, you just told me how much you feel for me. That’s all I wanted, babe. I wanted to know I wasn’t alone in all of this. I don’t have any interest in ever one-upping you in the bedroom, or any other aspect of our lives. I’m no expert in self-sabotage, but I have a brother who is. I know the signs, and I’m not going to let you push me away when what you really want is to hold on for all you’re worth.”

  More tears flooded her cheeks, and her body rocked as she tried to hold back sobs.

  “I want to love you, Piper, and I want to know that you’ll let me.” He gathered her in his arms, but hers remained limply by her sides, her body trembling. “I’m going to tell you this until you not only hear it but believe it. You can trust me. I’ll never let you down.” He kissed the top of her head and rested his cheek there.

  He ran a soothing hand down her back, willing his strength to become hers as she struggled to regain control. He didn’t know how long they stood there, but eventually her breathing steadied and her tears stopped, loosening the knots inside him. When she finally put her arms around him and fisted her hands in the back of his shirt, her knuckles pressing into his skin with the force of her embrace, he knew they’d crossed a rickety bridge together. He was glad they’d made it to the other side still in one piece.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  “Don’t be. This is what couples do. They figure out the hard stuff together. It’s new for both of us, and it’s going to take time to work out the kinks.”

  “Let’s keep the kink,” she said with a strained tease in her voice. “Oh, Harley,” she whispered. She pressed her hands flat against his back, holding him tighter. “I don’t want to hurt you, or to make you feel like I don’t care about you, because I do. But I might never be able to say the right things like you do.”

  “I know, and I don’t expect you to. Just toss me a bone every once in a while.”

  “And then you’ll give me one?”

  He heard the lightness in her voice, and it made him feel better, too.

  “Anytime you’d like. I never wanted to hurt you, either, but I obviously did. I’m sorry, babe. I should have just told you why I wanted to wait, but I didn’t want to put any pressure on you to say something if you didn’t feel it, or to show me you’re committed to us if you didn’t want to be.” He tipped her face up to his, aching at her red-rimmed eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. “I thought waiting to make love to you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I was wrong. Seeing you sad is so much worse.”

  He pressed his lips to hers in a tender kiss.

  “Sorry I yelled,” she said softly.

  “No you’re not,” he said, earning the sweetest smirk he’d ever seen. “That’s how you get it all out, Trig. If I wasn’t cool with it, I would never have asked you out in the first place.”

  “You aren’t going to hold this fight against me? Because guys do that.”

  “Assholes do that. You just told me how you feel about me. The only thing I want to hold against you is my body.”

  She pressed a kiss to the center of his chest, and when she gazed up at him again, a wicked glimmer shone in her eyes. “You know twelve inches was an overshot, right?”

  And . . . his girl was back.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  “PIPER, WILL YOU come shopping with us for a dress for the dance?” Jolie asked when Piper and Harley dropped the girls off at home Friday afternoon. “Can she come, Mom?”

  Piper glanced at Delaney for approval, not wanting to intrude on her time with her daughters. Delaney had more energy than she’d had the last time Piper had seen her, and the brightness in her eyes had returned, though she said she still got worn out quicker than she had before the surgery, and her activities would be limited for a while. But it was easy to see how happy she was to be back home with the girls.

  “It’s fine with me, as long as Piper doesn’t mind,” Delaney said.

  “I’d love to,” Piper said. She wasn’t much of a shopper, but she’d do anything to help Jolie keep today’s sunny disposition. “When are you thinking of going?”

  “The week after next, I think,” Delaney said. “I want to heal a little more. Shopping can be exhausting, especially when you’re looking for a perfect dress for a special occasion.”

  “Sure. The only thing I have on my agenda other than work is finishing Harley’s bathroom, which should be done—or close to it—by then. Which reminds me, if you need help driving the kids around, getting groceries, or running e
rrands, just let me know. I’ll be working at Windsor Hall for a few more weeks.”

  “They can take the bus to and from school now that Jolie’s soccer is over, and my mother is going to be helping to run errands. But thank you. I appreciate the offer,” Delaney said as Harley draped an arm over Piper’s shoulder, leaning on her instead of one of his crutches.

  This was the first time he’d openly claimed her like that, and it was a strange—and good—feeling. Piper had wondered if things between them would be awkward after their argument. They’d both had to go back to work, but throughout the afternoon, they’d exchanged a few sweet texts, which quickly turned flirty and then dark and dirty. They were two peas in a pod when it came to their sexual desires. She only hoped she wouldn’t disappoint him as his girlfriend.

  “Let us know what day you want to go shopping as soon as you know,” Harley said. “Now that we’re a couple, we’ll be fitting dates and other stuff into our schedules.”

  Sophie giggled and sang, “Uncle Harley and Piper sitting in a tree—”

  “Okay, that’s enough, Soph,” Delaney said with a nudge. “I’m pretty sure they’re not kissing in a tree.”

  “They kissed on the deck, and we caught them!” Sophie exclaimed.

  Delaney’s brows lifted in surprise. “Did you? Real cool, Uncle Harley,” she said sarcastically.

  “Don’t look at me.” He pointed at Piper and said, “This one’s all lips,” sending Sophie and Jolie into hysterics.

  Piper smacked him in the stomach. “That’s not true!”

  “It was Uncle Harley! I saw him pull Piper into his arms, doing this.” Sophie puckered up and made kissing noises.

  Harley grabbed Sophie and tugged her into a one-armed hug, while still leaning on Piper. “Love you, too, squirt.”

  He kissed Sophie’s head and tickled her ribs. Sophie squealed and jumped out of his reach. Piper squirmed out from beneath Harley’s grasp and handed him one of the crutches as he snagged Jolie, hauling her in as his next victim. He doled out the same kiss, love you, and tickles that he had to Sophie.

  “Uncle Harley! Stop!” Jolie pushed out of his arms and hid behind Piper. “Don’t let him get me.”

  “Sorry, sweets, but you’re going to have to pull up those big-girl panties and fight back. The man has only one good foot,” Piper pointed out. “You and Soph could do some damage tickling him.”

  Sophie and Jolie exchanged a conspiratorial glance and then went at Harley with both hands, tickling and giggling. Harley played right along.

  “You are definitely a keeper,” Delaney said, watching them play.

  “So is he,” Piper said, chuckling as he threatened to take the girls down. “Are you sure you’re okay with the girls?”

  “Yes, and even if I wasn’t, I need to be with them. I thought it would be easier to have space to recover without the chaos of taking care of the girls every day, but I missed them so much I think it was harder not having them around. Besides, I’m going to be sore and bruised for a long time as they increase the size of the tissue expanders for the reconstruction. It’s so weird to be able to choose what size breasts I want to have.”

  “I’m cool with my itty-bitties.”

  Delaney nudged her and said, “So is my brother.”

  It felt funny to joke about something like that when Piper had spent her life disconnected from the relationship world, but she’d just have to get used to it.

  “Are you worried about the reconstruction?”

  Delaney wiggled her hand as if to say, A little. “I’m trying not to think about it too much. I just want it to be done, and for a year to pass with a clean bill of health.”

  “We all do. You know we’re here for whatever you need, even if you want us to just take the girls out for a couple of hours here and there.” She glanced at Harley, hugging his nieces, and said, “He gave the girls a long talk about not fighting and twenty bucks to help around the house and do their own laundry.”

  “I still can’t believe he hired At Your Service to bring dinners for me and the girls for the next two weeks. He spoils me.” Delaney glanced lovingly at Harley and said, “He’s such a good guy, always going above and beyond for everyone else. I’m glad he’s finally doing something for himself, and by that I mean getting involved with you. He’s husband material—you see that, right? It doesn’t get much better than that man right there.”

  Piper didn’t want to say she wasn’t looking for a husband, much less that she wasn’t sure she was wife material, so instead she said, “He’s a great guy, but don’t go marrying us off yet. We’ve only just started seeing each other.”

  “I know. I was just bragging about my little brother.”

  Piper scoffed. “There is nothing little about your brother.”

  “I don’t want to know that,” Delaney said, and they both laughed.

  Half an hour later, they said goodbye to the girls and Delaney and climbed into the truck. Laying all her cards on the table had been the most difficult thing she’d done in a very long time, but they were stronger for it. Harley had to be the most patient man on earth, and though patience wasn’t Piper’s strong suit, at least he’d been well aware of that from the get-go. Tonight she was going to show him that she was willing to try to let down her guard in an even bigger way so he would know she meant what she said.

  “Why are you grinning like you won the lottery?” he asked.

  She reached across the seat, and for the first time ever, she took a man’s hand in hers because she just wanted to feel closer to him. “Because of you.” She drew in a deep breath, her pulse beating wildly as she took a leap of faith and said, “Willow called earlier. She and Zane are meeting Remi and Mason at Dutch’s for drinks tonight. Do you want to go hang out with them?”

  He squeezed her hand, an irresistibly devastating grin curling his lips. “Are you asking me on a date?”

  She caught herself as she started to roll her eyes and said, “Yes. A triple date, actually.”

  “Like, in public?” he teased.

  “Harley,” she warned.

  “I just want to be sure I understand what you’re asking. You, me, as a couple, out in public on a Friday night?”

  “Yes! Now stop being weird.” She tried to pull her hand away, but he tugged her across the seat, bringing her face so close to his she could practically taste him.

  “Can I kiss you while we’re there?”

  “Yes.”

  “Put my arm around you?”

  “Yes,” she said with a little laugh.

  “Dance with you?”

  “On one foot?” Her stomach fluttered like an infatuated teenager’s.

  “I’m a hell of a dancer,” he said arrogantly.

  She sighed, feigning annoyance. She knew how great a dancer he was, and she also knew it would be different dancing as a couple rather than friends, and she couldn’t wait to experience it.

  “You can hold my hand, put your arm around me, kiss me, and dance with me.” She felt vulnerable saying all those things, but it also felt good. So good, she lowered her voice seductively and added, “Play your cards right, and you might even get to drag me into your office and have your way with me.”

  His eyes flamed, causing her entire body to sizzle.

  “If you think the first time I make love to you is going to be on a couch or a desk with dozens of people right outside the door, you’re sorely mistaken.” His lips brushed hers as he said, “Play your cards right and you’ll be in my bed tonight.” His tongue swept slowly over her lower lip, and he whispered, “We both know you’ll never want to leave.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  HARLEY AND PIPER sat across the table from Willow and Zane, chatting as they waited for Remi and Mason, who were running late. Dutch’s sure felt different from the other side of the bar. Or maybe it was the new twists in Harley’s relationship with Piper that had him seeing the pub in a whole new light. The atmosphere was more festive, the beer was tastier, and Harley f
elt more alive than ever. Piper had picked him up almost an hour ago, and he still couldn’t take his eyes off her. She was always beautiful, but tonight she wore an olive miniskirt, a black off-the-shoulder shirt, a slim leather choker, and sexy black boots. Her hair was parted to the side, shiny and beautiful, with a lingering hint of color covering one smoky eye. He could count on one hand the number of times he’d seen Piper in a skirt, much less wearing makeup. But it wasn’t the clothes or the makeup that held his rapt attention. It was the way Piper had been looking at him like he was hers and giving off a definitely back-off-bitches vibe. He’d wanted her to feel that way for a long time, but he’d never imagined how incredible it would feel to experience it.

  Willow sipped her wine and said, “Traffic coming back from the city must be really bad for Remi and Mason to be this late. We need to convince Aiden to move closer.” Aiden Aldridge was Remi’s older brother and Ben’s business partner. He’d recently returned to the city after spending several weeks overseas for business, and Remi and Mason were on their way back from visiting him.

  “You don’t seriously believe they’re stuck in traffic, do you?” Piper shook her head, giving Harley a get-a-load-of-her glance. “They’re totally banging.”

  Harley couldn’t resist leaning in and kissing her. She pulled back a little too quickly, her eyes darting across the table to her sister. He’d anticipated Piper’s nervousness around her sister and Zane. He curled his hand around her shoulder, pulling her closer, and kissed her temple, whispering, “Just go with it.”

  Zane nudged Willow. He was an actor-turned-screenwriter with a playful, cocky attitude and classic Hollywood good looks. His debut screenplay, Beneath It All, was currently in production to become a major motion picture. More importantly, he adored Willow, and it showed in everything he did.

  “Can I just say, wow?” Willow said with appreciation. “I have waited so long to see my big sis this happy with a man.”

  Piper rolled her eyes. “Don’t go there, Willow.”

 

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