by Amy Vastine
Oh boy, she was nice and had a good sense of humor? It was like anyone who married into the Blackwell family was pure awesomeness. Maybe Lydia would be the bad apple. Of course, she was someone who had managed to put on this dinner for all of these people while taking care of two sets of twins. She was clearly the martyr of the group.
“Come on in. The guys were told they couldn’t eat until you got here. They’re really going to be thrilled to see you.” Rachel led the way, calling the kids to follow.
Amanda could hear the chatter in the main room when they stepped inside. There was laughter and then, “I just don’t understand why we let Big E drop random family members in our lap. Why are we stuck entertaining them while he’s off traipsing across the country again?”
“Benjamin Blackwell!” someone said. She sounded like an older woman. Their grandmother was supposed to be invited.
“What? I’m just saying what everyone else is thinking but is too afraid to say out loud.”
Rachel froze and her face contorted into a grimace. “Remember when I said that thing about my husband? This would be one of those times I beg you not to hold his words against the rest of us.”
Finally, a Blackwell who got how ridiculous this was. “He’s not totally wrong, right?”
Rachel shook her head. “No one else feels like you’ve been dumped on us.” She grabbed Lily by the hand. “We are so happy for you and Conner. He’s needed a good woman for as long as I’ve known him.” She winked at Conner.
Conner did not appear amused. “He better watch himself or else he’s going to have something else dropped on him.”
“I don’t blame you.” Rachel’s embarrassment colored her cheeks. “Come, meet everyone. Besides Ben, they’re all very nice.” She led them toward the great room. “Leave it to my husband to stick his foot in his mouth the second our guests arrive.”
Amanda entered the room and found a mixture of familiar and unfamiliar faces. The great room was open to the kitchen, and the whole family was spread out throughout the two rooms.
“You guys made it!” A dark-haired woman wearing an apron crossed the room to welcome them. “I am so happy you are here. And I know Jon feels the same way. He would have told Ben to stuff it had he been in here instead of outside at the grill.”
Amanda and Blake were introduced to Lydia, Grandma Dorothy and Ben, who didn’t look the least bit ashamed for speaking his mind. Ethan was there, as well as Chance and Katie.
Dorothy Blackwell had a thoughtful disposition. She made sure Amanda and Blake were settling in at the ranch and suggested they have Tyler show them where the pond was on the property. Amanda had admittedly been curious about it since Clancy went there on his runaway adventure. It was a perfect place to have a picnic, Dorothy said.
Amanda had been most nervous to meet her. She had every reason to side with Ben in the argument that it was a little weird for them to be hosting Big E’s secret family, but she was totally gracious. Thankfully, Big E hadn’t been a cheater. He and Great-Aunt Prudence—who was really Grandma Prudence—had a relationship before Dorothy was even in the picture. Still, it had to be strange.
Tyler and Hadley were seated on the couch, each holding one of Jon and Lydia’s babies in their arms. They were letting them snack on cereal puffs. Dorothy insisted Amanda take a seat next to Hadley.
“This is Marshall,” Hadley said, tickling the baby on his chubby sides and making him giggle. “And Brendan’s snacking with Tyler.”
While Hadley looked like a professional managing Marshall in her arms, Tyler seemed so uncomfortable. Brendan was wiggling all over the place and Tyler looked like someone trying to hold on to a slippery fish. “Why did you give me the one that can’t sit still?” he asked his wife.
“Would you relax? Wrap one arm around him like this. Hold the snack cup and let him take the puff out himself.” She tried to help him readjust.
“You need to learn how to do that, brother. It’s not going to be long before you have your own,” Chance said.
Blake stepped up. “Can I help?”
Amanda couldn’t believe he asked, and she felt her heart stutter when Tyler placed that baby in his arms. Unlike Tyler, Blake was at complete ease. Brendan needed no more than two seconds to know that he was in good hands. He smiled at Blake and reached out to touch his face.
Blake used his softest voice to chat little Brendan up. They shared cereal puffs and Brendan gave Blake several high fives.
“Well, aren’t you a natural,” Lydia said. “You better hang on to this one, Amanda. He’s cute and good with babies. Men like that aren’t easy to find.”
“Oh, we’re not... Blake and I are...just friends,” Amanda stammered.
“Just friends?” Blake looked offended. Amanda’s face felt hot. What else would he call them? “We’re business partners, aren’t we?”
She should have known that was what he was going to say. She quickly tried to backpedal. “Right. We are business partners, but he’s here with me because we’re friends. We’ve been friends since we were kids.”
Lydia grimaced. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to assume.”
“It’s funny that you thought that,” Lily interjected. “When we were thirteen and these two became friends, it was the biggest shocker at White Oaks Middle School.”
“Why was it such a shocker? Weren’t girls and boys friends at your middle school?” Hadley asked.
“It was because Blake was the hottest guy at school and super popular, and Amanda was—”
“Do not finish that sentence,” Amanda warned. As if it wasn’t bad enough that she had to explain they weren’t a couple, her sister had decided it was a good idea to discuss her awkward adolescence.
“Amanda may not have been super popular, but that was what I liked about her. The popular girls were so self-absorbed. Amanda cared about animals and the environment. I thought she was mature and very cool.”
His compliments made her even more embarrassed. She would rather talk about anything other than herself and the reasons Blake liked her.
“You thought Blake was the hottest guy in middle school?” Conner asked Lily.
“Everybody did,” Lily replied unabashedly.
Ben, Ethan, Tyler and Chance all howled with laughter. Conner gave Ethan a shove since he was standing close enough to reach.
“Conner’s just jealous because we all know I was the hottest one in our middle school,” Ben said.
“If you were the hottest, then I was also the hottest,” Ethan argued since they were identical twins.
“Being hot is more than this face. It’s also my amazing personality.”
Tyler and Chance exchanged looks and then doubled over with laughter again.
“What?” Ben challenged. “We all know it wasn’t either of you two. You were both chumps in middle school.”
“Chumps?” Chance folded his arms across his chest.
“Don’t even take that bait,” Tyler said. “Ben’s ego has blinded him his entire life.”
“My ego? This from the guy who had to bring a fake fiancée home with him because he couldn’t bear to be the only brother in town without one?”
“Well, sounds like my brothers are doing what they do best in front of new people. Can you four not do this right now?” Jon Blackwell stood in the kitchen with a giant platter full of steaks, burgers and chicken.
“Ben started it,” Tyler said.
“Doesn’t he always?” Rachel said with a sigh.
Dorothy stood up and patted Rachel’s back. “It’s a good thing he’s got a heart of gold under all that nonsense. So much like his grandfather, I tell you.”
Lily was beaming, completely entertained by the bickering. “You guys remind me so much of my family, I can’t even tell you.”
Dinner made things a bit more tolerable. With food in their mouths
, no one could say anything that made Amanda want to run out the door. Blake kept his tabs on her, making sure she was okay. The way her stomach flipped every time he put his hand on her knee might have been the reason her foolish imagination kept running wild.
What if things had been different? What if she could have children like Blake wanted? What if she was brave and told Blake how she really felt about him and he felt the same? What if he was here with her because they were in love and getting married like Lily and Conner? What a different trip this would have been.
Jon and Lydia had a huge farmhouse-style table in their dining room. All the adults were squeezed in there while the kids were set up at the kitchen table. Everyone helped make sure the children had what they needed. The Blackwells might argue about who was better looking, but the group as a whole was a well-oiled machine.
As dinner wound down, the conversation picked back up. “So how is the wedding planning going?” Rachel asked Lily.
“Having it at the ranch makes things so easy. We looked through Hadley’s scrapbooks, and there are so many beautiful examples of what they can do there, the hardest part will be deciding what not to have.”
Perfect, perfect, perfect. It was all so perfect. Lily wouldn’t need Amanda to do a thing. She wasn’t even sure why she was still there. Maybe she should pack up and head home. She certainly didn’t have a place here.
Lily continued, “It’s been so great, I think I even convinced Blake to get married here, too. He’s been texting his fiancée a ton of pictures.”
“You’re planning a wedding, too?” Dorothy asked, looking surprised by that.
“Well, I’m using this as an opportunity to check things out. I couldn’t make a decision without my fiancée seeing it first.”
“Smart man,” Chance said from across the table.
“You two have always just been friends? Never tried dating each other or anything like that?” Dorothy seemed perplexed.
Amanda shook her head. “No, ma’am. We have always been friends only. There was never a good reason to risk our friendship for romance.”
Blake contradicted her. “Well, it’s not like we never thought about it. There have been a few moments in time when we almost did.”
Was he really going to talk about the times that had almost been? What next? Would he talk about The Incident?
“Shut up,” Lily said, setting down her fork. “You two thought about getting together? When? How do I not know about this?”
Amanda needed to do some damage control. “We did not get together. We thought about it. Two very different things. There’s talking about something and agreeing it was a bad idea, and there’s dating.”
“So you’ve never kissed?” Hadley asked, as if it was totally normal to talk about one’s private business in front of practical strangers at their first meal together.
“Nope.”
“Yeah, of course,” Blake said at the same time.
Amanda could feel her whole body flush red with embarrassment. “No, we haven’t.”
“We...” He must have noticed the look in her eye. The one telling him to be quiet. To not go there in front of these people. “We kiss like friends, I mean. You know.” He leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek. “I thought when you asked if we kissed, you meant any kind of kiss. Not kiss kissing. We don’t make out. We’ve never made out.” His voice cracked over the never part of that sentence because it was the biggest of the lies.
They had made out. A year ago they had crossed lines that were not to be crossed. Ones they had sworn not to ever speak of again. She had been so foolish that night. For a brief moment, wanting to be loved by him had become more important than what was best for him in the long run. Amanda knew she couldn’t be with him, so that one moment of weakness was swept under the rug.
“I tried being just friends with Rachel and we all know how that turned out,” Ben said.
“Ditto for me and Grace. I didn’t last long,” Ethan said.
Tyler raised his glass. “I was never happier than when I married my best friend.”
Hadley placed her hand over her heart and leaned in for a kiss. “You are so sweet.”
“What about you?” Katie asked Chance. “Did you kiss your female friends or did you keep things platonic?”
Chance looked uncertain about how to answer. “I don’t make out with friends.”
“So, I’m not your best friend? What am I if I’m not your best friend? Just your wife? Your baby-making machine?”
“Uh-oh, another hysterical pregnant woman,” Ben teased, earning him a swat on the shoulder from his wife.
Chance and Katie both glared at him.
“What? What did I say?” Ben held his hands up in surrender.
“Honey.” Chance cleared his throat. “You are the best friend I could ever ask for. I figured you already knew I couldn’t resist kissing you. Surely that baby is proof of that.”
Katie leaned into him and he pressed his lips against her temple. Amanda had to look away but caught Lily staring at her with a suspicious glint in her eye. Lily suspected there was a story to be told, and it was unlikely she wouldn’t bring it up again when they were alone.
Hadley set down her drinking glass and had the same look of suspicion on her face. Only she was staring at Ben. “What did you mean when you said another hysterical pregnant woman? I know you weren’t talking about me.”
Ben and Rachel exchanged glances. “He was talking about me,” Rachel confessed as the whole table erupted in congratulations. “We’re twelve weeks and I know this will come as a shock to some of you. It’s twins.”
The deafening uproar that ensued was something Amanda had never experienced before, and she had grown up in a home with five girls only a few years apart in age. Another Blackwell, two more babies at once. Amanda wanted to magically transport herself far, far away. Instead, she put on her game face and congratulated the happy, expectant couple. Their lives were so full.
Would Amanda ever feel the same about her own?
CHAPTER TEN
“I’M SORRY” WAS the only thing Blake had said when they got back to the cabin after dinner with the family. He’d decided not to talk to her about some of the other things on his mind until the morning. She was mad at him and afraid that Lily was going to start asking questions. The other person he needed to talk to this morning was Lily.
Blake poked his head into Amanda’s room. “I’m going to take Clancy for a walk. You can sleep in.”
Clancy only needed to hear the word walk and he was all over it. Montana mornings on the ranch were pretty peaceful. Blake loved the view of the mountains. This time of year they were green and gold with a dusting of snow on the highest peaks. The squawking of falcons made it obvious how the town got its name. Blake missed the ocean, though. As nice as this place was for a vacation getaway, he couldn’t imagine being here long-term.
Clancy, on the other hand, was a big fan. He was right at home running along the trails around the cabins. When they got back, Blake decided to knock on Lily’s door before checking on Amanda.
“Well, good morning,” Lily said as Clancy came bounding in for a hello head scratch. “Everything okay? Where’s Amanda?”
“Still in bed. I thought maybe you and I could have a little chat before we start our day.”
Her brows pinched together. “Chat about what exactly?”
“Can we get him some water and sit down for a minute?”
The cabins didn’t have fully functional kitchens—just a sink, minifridge and microwave. Lily got creative and dumped the decorative ceramic balls out of the bowl that sat on the coffee table and filled it with water. Her cabin had a small front room and a bedroom with an attached bathroom in the back. A dirty sweatshirt was tossed on the floor. Three pairs of shoes were piled up by the door. The brochures Hadley had given her were sc
attered over the counter in the tiny kitchenette.
“So, what would you like to chat about, Mr. Collins?” she asked, sitting down on the wing chair and curling her legs underneath her. “Are you here to confess that you’ve made out with my sister? Because I could tell you were lying. You always do that thing with your voice. It’s totally your tell.”
This was what he had wanted to avoid happening when Amanda was awake. “I came to tell you that you need to drop it. For your sister’s sake, you need to drop it. She’s already struggling with a lot of negative emotions and she doesn’t need you giving her a hard time about me and her.”
“So you’re confirming there was a you-and-her at some point in this friendship?”
Blake’s shoulders tensed. “Listen, Lily Pad, what I’m trying to tell you is that your sister is putting on a brave face, but all she talked about last night when we got back to the cabin was how we should pack up and leave today because there was no reason for her to stay.”
“What does that mean? Everyone was so nice to her. I thought that the Blackwells welcomed her with open arms. She got to see that Conner fits in so well with them, proving I have made a good choice. And we have to talk to Hadley about colors, and maybe we can even do the cake-tasting part while you guys are here. That was her favorite part of planning my last wedding.”
Blake tried to explain. “That’s just it. The last wedding—she helped you plan the whole thing. There was no Hadley. Amanda got to be the one to wow you with your options. She’s feeling a little pointless during this one. She brought the book and hasn’t even given it to you because why would you need that when you have Hadley’s scrapbooks. She feels a little lost not being the one to help you out.”
“I hadn’t thought of that.” Lily shifted in her seat, placing both feet on the ground. She took a deep breath. “I know that since Mom died, she’s been struggling. I also know that since we found out that my dad Rudy isn’t who she thought he was, she’s been questioning everything. I get that, but I also need to make sure she understands that I’m here because it’s what’s best for me. I have to find my own way to handle everything that’s happened in the past year.”