‘I should’ve known something was wrong when Janet was happy to let me do this alone, without her input. I thought she was simply having a hard time accepting the pregnancy. How stupid was I?’ The bitter laugh he gave was directly at odds with the caring man who’d put his heart and soul into creating this loving tribute to a baby who’d never been his.
‘You weren’t stupid. You trusted her, you were in love with her, and she betrayed you in the worst possible way. None of it was your fault.’ She rested her hand on his shoulder to show him she was on his side. Who wouldn’t be when a man this endearing had been left heartbroken and bereft, essentially grieving for a baby who’d never come home with him?
‘Thanks.’ When he covered her hand with his, his warmth enveloping her, she knew he was grasping for that connection he’d lost with Janet. An uneasy sense that there was more behind his motives to have her here other than being a good friend began to slither beneath her skin.
‘Cal, you didn’t ask me to move in just to fill the space Janet left behind, did you?’ The one that had a baby-shaped void right next to it.
No amount of saving on her bills would convince her that this was a good idea if that was the reason, because she would never be a replacement for the fiancée he’d lost, and her babies weren’t up for negotiation.
‘Of course not.’ He turned his head so violently to shoot down that theory that he jerked her hand away. ‘I told you, you can do whatever you want in here. It’s not some sort of shrine. I just thought it was a shame to let all of this go to waste.’
His defensive attitude suggested there might be more behind his reasons than he even realised. As long as she remembered the history here and didn’t get sucked into playing the role recently vacated by his ex, they could hopefully cohabit without anyone reading something into the arrangement that wasn’t there.
‘It would be when I’m going to need two of everything. We could keep the furniture and redecorate, I suppose. It’s beautiful, but I do think it might be better all round for something fresh. If you’re on board with that?’ It was a compromise intended to make things less weird.
‘Does that mean you’re moving in?’ The Cal she recognised immediately wrapped her in a hug and Izzy let herself revel in that moment of intimacy. He was the only person who provided her with that sense of security she found in the circle of his arms.
To have someone who could do that for her on a regular basis, and she was going to need lots of hugs for the foreseeable future, was a definite point in Cal’s favour. They were friends and soon to be housemates, with no one else close enough to provide this strength they seemed to find in each other.
She was certain that tingling sensation that travelled from her head to her toes and all the extremities in between when he touched her or held her was merely residual memory of their last, more intimate contact. It was tempting to burrow into his chest like a little dormouse seeking shelter for the winter, but she managed to keep herself in check and dragged herself out of his embrace before she got too used to using him as a crutch. She had to do this on her own. Cal was her back-up. Someone to give her a boot up the backside when she needed it, just as she’d done for him.
As soon as she stepped out of his personal space the sudden sense of loss slipped out of her mouth on a sigh. ‘I’ll need to see the bedroom before I make a final decision.’
The corners of his mouth tilted up as he deliberately misinterpreted her comment. It hadn’t escaped her notice either that he hadn’t attempted to end the too-long hug. Their previous conversation about exploring all aspects of marriage sprang to mind again and her pulse rocketed. Perhaps she should avoid all double entendres for the sake of her blood pressure from now on.
‘My bedroom. The room where I’ll be sleeping. Alone.’ The emphasis was as much for herself as Cal when it would be far too convenient to jump into bed together should the mood strike them. That sort of blurry line would make things messy when they had to work and live together. Essentially that would put them in a relationship neither of them wanted. This new set-up was supposed to avoid the emotional uncertainty that came as part of a couple package.
‘Spoilsport.’ The wink he gave her sent shivers through her as though he’d danced his fingers along her spine and she followed him like a devoted puppy into another bright and spacious room.
‘You really should think about a sideline as an interior decorator,’ she said, taking in her proposed new accommodation. It had a modern appearance but with a lovely homely feeling.
‘I’ll give it some consideration when I get too old and decrepit for jumping out of helicopters.’ He deflected the compliment with another self-deprecating comment, but Izzy couldn’t imagine him as anything other than in his prime at any age.
‘You’ll certainly save me a job, anyway. I won’t have to redecorate or attempt to dismantle my flat-pack furniture to move in here. I assume fixtures and fittings are included?’
‘Everything I have is at your disposal.’ His exaggerated bow gave him the air of a handsome prince giving her the keys to his kingdom, which she liked to think included a secret library somewhere.
‘In that case, I can cancel the removal van. Everything I want is right here.’ She was referring to the solid pine furniture the entire contents of her flat could fit into but found herself staring at Cal instead.
‘What about the bed? No one’s ever used the one in here, but you might prefer to have your own.’ He walked past her to sit on the end of the mattress, bouncing up and down to show her the obvious quality of the springs.
The lumpy, barely held together with chipboard thing she called a bed, which was also half the size of this sleep playground, couldn’t compete.
‘Are you kidding? I could live in this.’ She threw herself on top of the bed so she was flat out, staring at the ceiling. Her bouncing knocked Cal off balance until he ended up lying beside her, only a hair’s breadth away.
‘I’m glad you’re moving in.’
‘I haven’t agreed yet.’ She was still clinging on to that one last thread of control.
‘What else can I do to convince you?’ Cal’s husky voice was almost enough to persuade her to do anything.
That was it. The final tie to her logical brain pinged free and left her to the mercy of her hormones. They were lying so close to one another there was nowhere else to look but at his eyes, his lips... He was staring at her mouth too, clearly thinking the same thing—how nice a kiss would be right now. Breathtakingly slowly they were gravitating towards each other, closing those last few millimetres separating them from heaven, and insanity.
Izzy sat up, breaking the thrall of his hypnotic gaze. ‘I think we should get one thing straight from the beginning, Cal. I want to move in and I appreciate everything you’re doing for me, but I think we should take the, er, physical side of this relationship off the cards.’
With that bombshell Cal sat up too so they were both perched uncomfortably on the end of the bed. ‘Certainly. I wouldn’t dream of using this arrangement to take advantage of you. We’ll keep things strictly platonic.’
The longer she spent in his company the more she’d anticipate spending nights in bed with him, but she knew the novelty of having her around would wear off as it always did.
‘I think it’s for the best.’
‘So, we’re free to date other people if and when we’re ready for that?’
Izzy didn’t know why that question shook her when he was a hot-blooded male, not a monk. She supposed it was because she couldn’t imagine getting involved in another relationship and had thought he was of the same opinion. It wasn’t fair to expect him to remain celibate for ever because she’d prefer it, but the thought of him bringing other women home with him was painful. Ridiculous, when she’d been the one drawing the line in the sand and deeming her side a sex-free zone.
She knew the one flaw in this pl
an could be if she fell for Cal, confusing his sense of duty for something more. Something that could only ever end badly.
Chapter 5
‘You should be sitting with your feet up.’ Cal marked out the light switch with masking tape so it didn’t get splattered with paint and made sure the dust sheet was covering the whole floor.
‘Why? You’re not and unless I’m mistaken we’ve had exactly the same workload today.’ Displaying her usual obstinacy, Izzy refused to take it easy after another hectic shift.
‘Yes, but I’m not carrying two extra loads with me.’ He pointed his paintbrush at her belly, which was noticeably more rounded in her form-fitting grey jersey top and black leggings.
‘You promised you wouldn’t mollycoddle me,’ she reminded him, and began rolling on the pale turquoise paint she’d chosen to cover the nursery walls.
‘There’s a difference between mollycoddling and doing you a favour. I’m happy to do all the grunt work here.’ That way he could make sure she had some down time. So far, since moving in with him, she hadn’t shown any signs of slowing down. He had managed to convince her to let him carry the few belongings she had with her but only after an exhaustive debate. Eventually she’d accepted he was merely trying to be a gentleman and not treating her as an invalid. Despite his reservations about his suitability as a parent to these babies, he was doing his best to ensure they’d want for nothing, and that included a strong, healthy mother.
‘I wouldn’t call painting a wall particularly taxing.’ Izzy proved her point by covering most of the mid-section in just a few strokes.
‘The fumes can’t be good for you.’ He simply wanted her to take care of herself if she wouldn’t let him do it for her.
It had been a huge part of Janet’s pregnancy for him, fussing around and feeling useful in some capacity when he hadn’t been able to help with any of the physical toll pregnancy had taken on her.
Seeing how active and reluctant Izzy was to let her condition become an excuse to slow down made him wonder if Janet had been laughing behind his back the whole time he’d been skivvying for her. Of course she had, the baby wasn’t his and while he’d been preparing to become a father she’d been planning to leave him.
Izzy wouldn’t take advantage of him in that way when he’d had to work so hard to get her this far.
Despite referencing the possibility of entering into a physical relationship, he knew it would never stay solely in the bedroom and he didn’t want to jeopardise what they had here. It was simply a reaction to the attraction that had sprung to life rather quickly after their respective heartaches. Besides, apart from the scars they still bore from those ill-fated relationships, they’d be too tired dealing with two small children to think about dating or anything else.
‘I promise if I start to feel faint or sick I’ll hang up my paint roller.’ It was a concession he was willing to accept when she didn’t often make them.
‘Good. No stretching either. I’ll get the ladder and do the top bits.’ There was no need for her to overdo things when he was there to pick up the slack.
‘I assume I’m allowed to do the bottom bits? I can sit on the floor to do that. You know, take it easy.’ She was making fun of him, but it was better than bristling at him each time he attempted to do something nice for her.
‘As long as you don’t get under my feet.’ She’d already worked her way over to the section he was covering so he let a blob of paint plop onto her head.
‘For your sake I hope you didn’t do that on purpose.’ Izzy lifted her head to look at him, eyes narrowed and lips twitching.
‘You know me better than that, Fizz.’ He’d never been able to resist riling that temper of hers, such was their dynamic, and he was glad that spark was still there after all this time.
‘Hmm.’ She knew him too well and he laughed at the apparent scepticism.
Cal resumed painting his part of the wall, only realising he was in serious trouble when he saw her roller paint over the palms of her hands instead of the plasterwork. The next thing he knew those same hands were resting on his buttocks and with one squeeze he knew she’d wreaked her revenge.
‘You haven’t...’ He tried to twist his torso around to see the evidence but the glee on Izzy’s face was proof enough that she’d left two turquoise handprints on the backside of his trousers.
‘You deserved it.’ She was grinning up at him, her eyes full of mischief, challenging him to do something about it.
‘Isobel Fitzpatrick, you are in so much trouble...’
She let out a shriek as he dropped his paintbrush and tried to wrestle the roller out of her hands, but Izzy was too quick for him. With sleight of hand she hid her weapon behind her back, forcing him to reach around her to try and get it. Her laugh at his ear made him aware of how close their bodies were, and with the slightest turn of his head his lips were dangerously close to Izzy’s.
He heard the hitch in her breath as she realised it too and he wanted so badly to kiss her it took all of his physical strength to back off before he did something stupid. The chemistry was there all right, but Izzy had made it clear she didn’t want to repeat past mistakes. Instead he took a sidestep away and carried on decorating as though nothing out of the ordinary had transpired.
‘It’s just as well these are old clothes, or we’d have people talking about us.’ As if. The only people they saw were their colleagues, and the crew had hardly batted an eyelid when they’d told them they were moving in together before they’d explained it was only as housemates. Mac, when Cal had tackled him about the lack of surprise, had explained they’d all thought the two of them had been at it like rabbits for years, despite having had partners for most of that time. Cal put him straight and asked him to pass on the information. The purpose, other than saving Izzy’s reputation, was his own pride. He refused to let anyone believe he’d cheated on Janet and deserved what she’d done to him in any way.
It was a conversation he hadn’t relayed to Izzy for fear of upsetting her. If he was annoyed there was any suggestion he’d played away on his treacherous ex, he could only imagine the effect it would have on her. The last thing Izzy needed stressing her out was malicious gossip that she’d somehow failed Gerry.
Cal had been blaming himself for months over what had happened between him and Janet, agonising over every disagreement that could have caused her to cheat on him. Izzy might have gone through something similar, wondering what she could’ve done to prevent the crash from happening, and she didn’t need anything more to beat herself up over. Cal would rather put a smile on her face at his expense than give her cause to feel guilty about something she’d never had the power to control. It had taken all this time for him to learn that lesson.
It was only when Izzy had agreed to move in with him that he’d stopped blaming himself for Janet leaving. In some way he’d taken it as confirmation he wasn’t as bad a person as he’d begun to believe, that he must’ve had some redeeming qualities if she was willing to live with him at this crucial time.
‘I’ll just tell them you’re the father of my unborn babies and I’m marking my territory,’ she said, following his lead in ignoring another heated moment between them.
The doorbell rang and gave Cal an excuse to leave the room before he took her comment seriously. The thought that Izzy wanted possession of any part of his body was arousing interest in certain areas that wasn’t in keeping with their platonic agreement. ‘I’ll get it. It’s probably the grocery shopping.’
With them both working and needing double the amount of food, they’d done their shopping online and left the front gates open for the home delivery to arrive. Izzy required proper nutritious meals and his recent casual approach to cooking ready meals and a microwave was no longer going to cut it.
The buzzer went again before he made it down the stairs.
‘I’m coming,’ he yelled to the dark f
igure outlined in the frosted glass who was clearly impatient to get to the next delivery.
As he unlocked the door to the outside world again, the person waiting for him made him want to slam the door shut and lock himself away with Izzy again.
‘Hi, Cal.’ That was it. With just two words Janet was back in his world, blowing it completely apart.
‘Aren’t you going to ask me in?’ Her audacity in thinking she could smile at him as though she hadn’t ripped his heart out of his chest and stomped on it rendered him speechless.
Apparently, that was invitation enough for her to push past him. Easily done with the considerable weight she was now wielding with her heavily pregnant belly. She’d be due any day now, but the thought no longer brought the same sadness it once had.
‘I hope they brought those cheesy cracker things I wanted. I have a hankering for something savoury and salty.’ Naturally this was the moment Izzy’s pregnancy cravings kicked in and sent her foraging for goodies. She stopped dead at the bottom of the stairs and came face to face with Janet. ‘What do you want?’
There was no question that his ex was only here because she wanted something from him. Under the circumstances he didn’t think he should be expected to waste time on pleasantries and small talk. He had nothing to say to her.
Janet looked Izzy up and down with the same undisguised contempt she’d always done. Only now Cal could see it for what it was—jealousy. He’d loved Janet body and soul but after how she’d treated him his eyes were open to the ugliness she wore on the inside. Izzy was honest, and kind, and all those things Janet wasn’t.
‘I’ve come for the rest of my things.’ She made her way past Izzy as though she was perfectly entitled to roam where she pleased.
Cal took off after her, a frown burrowing into his brow as he envisaged her rifling through Izzy’s belongings and upsetting her. ‘I’m pretty sure you took everything.’
Surprise Double Delivery Page 24