“I don’t have many bandages. My Health is down to twelve, and if there’s anything else out here . . .”
But before I could even start to really panic, the first hint of dawn began to appear in the eastern sky. I sat down in the middle of the street, drained of energy, until about an hour later the door to the inn opened and Bob came out. He gave a start when he noticed me.
“What are you doing out here, dude? It’s dangerous to be wandering around the city alone at night.”
Chapter Forty-three
I stood in front of the mirror and watched my skin tighten around my huge muscles as I leveled up Body to a Ten. I hardly lost any mass at all, just a little of the slight extra padding. I could have stared in the mirror all day.
I remembered the posters I had in my room back in real life—still have, in Verterria. Pictures of bodybuilders from the 1960s and ’70s, with funny old names like Arnold and Lou and Franco.
I looked like that.
I pried myself away from my reflection and then leveled up Weapon. But to get a level-ten weapon, I needed a level-ten johnson.
“You look good,” said Elise, the words giving me a warm feeling in my stomach.
“Thanks.” I added, with laughter in my voice, “So do you.”
“Of course I do. I’m an Eleven.”
Bob said to me, “You look awesome, dude. Man, I should’ve picked warrior class.”
“Well, maybe next time, if you start the game over again.”
“Oh, trust me, there will be a next time. I will be playing a lot of this game.”
Anna offered me no compliments, but the way she looked at me told me everything. I looked at her the same way, because she was even hotter—as impossible as that seemed—now that she was a Ten.
We left the inn and Anna went to the bowyer, Elise and Bob to the magic shop, and I went in search of Attraction points.
I strode down the street in a bold, confident swagger, my swollen chest puffed up, my big arms swinging at my sides, thighs the size of turkeys flexing with every step. Never in all my twenty-one years on Earth had I ever felt like this.
“Wanna level up?” called a gorgeous merchant.
“Maybe later.”
A sexy archer smiled at me from under the eaves of a building. I smiled back but kept walking.
I asked myself, what kind of woman am I in the mood for? Ace Singleton would have asked who would be willing to sleep with him, or he would’ve looked up the kind of girl he only wished he could have at that moment on free porn sites and rubbed one out. But not level-nine Karl. Level-nine Karl, with his level-ten Face and Body, searched for the kind of girl he wanted and then he got her.
Then I saw her.
She was pushing a wheelbarrow full of carrots alongside a man carrying a big sheaf of wheat. Her face shone with a rustic beauty, a beauty I suspected was of the tenth level. Her light brown hair was wrapped in a braid around her head. The body under the plain linen gown made me stir under my loincloth. Her enormous breasts pushed out the fabric in front, threatening to tear it open. Her wide hips stretched at the sides of the peasant gown.
I stopped in front of her and looked at her with my head held high and hands on my hips.
“I desire you.”
She smiled shyly and I knew at once she wanted me. The man next to her did not smile.
“That be my wife, oh honorable warrior.”
“It would be an honor to get on her.”
“I am afraid I cannot share her. I beg your forgiveness.”
The woman spoke at last, her voice sweet and gentle, her accent wonderful.
“Take me, warrior.”
The man shot his head toward her. “What the hell?”
“Come off it, Ajax, it’s not like we haven’t been shagging other people in this game the whole time.”
“But we’re Tens now! You said we could be exclusive after that!”
“It’s just one more bloke. Don’t be such a bellend!” She started to pull up her dress, but the peasant guy yanked it back down and then turned to me.
“Sorry, mate, you’re not going to have my wife.” By now it was clear they were a couple even outside of the game.
“I don’t care what you want. The only thing that matters is what she wants and what I want. And I want her.”
He threw the load of wheat at me and then hit me with two shots to the body. He was strong as hell, a level-ten peasant, but I was a warrior. When the wheat was out of my way I stepped around his sloppy punch at my head and gave him a right cross to the jaw. He stumbled, and the girl’s dress came up off her shoulders before he even hit the ground.
Her body was maddening. The pair of level-ten peasant breasts filled my vision. I yanked down my loincloth and she dropped to her knees with an open mouth and hunger in her eyes.
Her husband sat on the ground, rubbing his jaw. “Ginraxa!”
“It’s Mary right now,” she said to him and to me as she took her face away from between my legs and lay down on the carrots filling her wheelbarrow.
I slid into her. She was pure softness, inside and out. I caressed her skin as her insides caressed me, squeezing her breasts as I pushed into her, and it felt so good I thought I would finish too soon, but the husband got up off the ground and started beating my back with his big fists as I thrust into his wife.
I hardly glanced up from her beautiful face as I sent my arm out, smashing him in the nose with the back of my knuckles in a backhand blow. I lifted the girl up and I sat down in the wheelbarrow with her in my lap, and she bounced on me urgently, her massive breasts flying around and her moans echoing through the busy street, bringing the attention of pedestrians and mocking her husband with her enjoyment of my big Level Nine. I didn’t care who watched, the sights and sounds of the peasant woman and the feel of her soft flesh on mine overruled all, and soon it was too much to take, and then, as her insides spasmed tightly and her wide hips rocked furiously over me, I filled her with an explosion of pleasure.
When I was able to open my eyes again, I noticed the circle of spectators that had formed around us in the street and I saw the woman’s husband staring at me with humiliated fury. I gave him a big smile.
I stood up, my huge muscles glistening with exertion and my huge Niner glistening with his wife’s juices.
He muttered, “Bastard.”
Mary turned to him with scorn. “You’re the one who wanted to play as a peasant, peasant. You’re more interested in farming than fucking.”
The guy got up and rushed me, but I put him back down with a left hook. My smile still locked on him as he sat on the ground rubbing his jaw, I put all the bass I muster into my voice.
“I have planted my seed in thy fine-ass wife, unworthy peasant, and I enjoyed it most greatly.”
* * *
When I found Anna, she had a new level-ten bow nearly seven feet high. Her quiver was packed with arrows and I saw three had fletchings of red feathers.
“I am well prepared for our quest.”
“Good. Now I need a level-ten weapon. But first I need to level up. I kind of wanted Elise and Bob to be there when I did.”
I hardly got the words out when I spotted the two in question coming toward us.
“I got some sweet new spells,” announced Bob, his wizard’s staff thumping on the ground as he came up to me.
“Me too,” said Elise, then she gave a concerned frown. “You still don’t have a weapon?”
“I just earned the AP I needed to level up. I wanted everyone to be here when I did.”
Bob nodded. “Yeah, when I made Ten I wanted you to be there so bad.”
Anna blew a scornful little breath out of her nose. She hadn’t waited for anyone to level up.
Elise said, “Oh, you should do it over there in that temple, and I’ll take a screenshot!”
“What? You can take screenshots?”
“Didn’t I tell you?”
“No! What kind of guide are you?”
“Sorry, I must’ve forgot,” she said with an embarrassed smile.
The three followed me over to the ancient-looking temple, a round stone structure with six carved columns supporting a dome.
“I wish I had a sword to pose with.” I frowned at my pitiful dagger.
Bob called to a passing level-nine warrior and we borrowed his sword. Elise and Bob formed squares with the thumbs and forefingers of both hands, like movie directors framing a shot, and Elise said, “Okay, whenever you’re ready.” Anna just watched. There were no screenshots, or even screens, in her world, or so she would have us believe.
I swiped the AP to Size on my right palm and then lifted the sword into the air with a magic yellow glow. I felt the already-big lump under my loincloth grow even bigger and detected a slight further swelling in my muscles, and a bright sparkle of lights flashed and danced over my body with a dramatic rushing noise and then I saw the words appear in big red letters.
LEVEL 10!!!
Chapter Forty-four
I went straight to the nearest blademonger. An ancient-looking NPC stared at me as I went to the door. I flexed my big bicep in front of his wizened face and said, “Check out these guns, dog,” and then went inside.
I grinned at the assortment of weapons on display. The shopkeeper shuffled up to me and asked, “See thee aught that thou liketh?”
I paused for a second, certain his sentence wouldn’t fly at any point in the history of the English language, then shook the thought aside and pointed at a big sword similar to the one I had borrowed for my leveling-up.
“How about that bad boy?”
“Ah yes, a wicked blade indeed.” He reached up with a smile, no doubt at the thought of all the gold he was about to score, to pull it off the shelf. Except he couldn’t. I watched his smile falter and then disappear altogether as he tugged with all his strength at the sword. “What the hell?”
“What’s up?”
“I don’t know. I can’t budge it. You can try, if you want.”
I tried and I failed. It felt like the sword was welded to the wall. The merchant frowned and said, “Maybe it’s just a glitch. Let me try this one. . . .” He easily lifted a big war hammer next to it. “Well, this one moves.”
“What level is that?”
“Nine.”
“I need a Ten.”
“Yeah, for sure. Well, how about this scimitar?” He leaned over to reach for the weapon in question, and then consternation flooded his face. “Okay, what the actual fuck? I can’t move this one either!”
He tried moving about every level-ten weapon in the store, and each time found it impossible. He had no trouble removing the level-nine weapons. His face was red.
“I’m so sorry, man. I have no idea what’s going on. I just sold a level-ten flail like twenty minutes ago.”
“Are there any other weapon shops in Sexbury.”
He shook his head. “I’m the only one. I’m a level-ten merchant, so I have a monopoly. Can I interest you in a Nine?” He looked absolutely mortified.
I sighed and said, “I guess I’ll take the hammer then.”
He gave me a thirty-percent discount, but we were both disappointed as I left the store. As I stormed out, muttering “The devs better get their shit together,” a voice like a creaking door startled me.
“Warrior.”
I turned to see the old man who had been there when I came in. Well, he was still there, and I suddenly began to suspect he was there for a reason.
“Whassup?”
“Keep thou the Coin That Buyeth What Gold Cannot?”
“What the hell are you talking about, old man?”
“The coin! Big and bronze, with the symbol of the ancients upon its face!”
I remembered the oversized coin I had found on the giant. The coin only I could lift. I pulled it out and flashed it in his wrinkled face. “You mean this?”
“Yea, warrior. That beith the coin!”
“Well, what about it?”
He leaned close, his aged face inches from mine, his scratchy voice a whisper.
“Seekest not thou a Ten for an armament! For at the entrance to the black castle, a blade awaits thee which gold cannot buy!”
I pressed him for more info, yet his mouth didn’t open again and I knew I would get nothing more from him. He was an NPC, so there wasn’t really anything I could do to thank him, but just for fun I took out a gold coin and stuck it in his hairy ear.
“Here. Get yourself a lap dance.”
* * *
I met the others at the square in the center of the city. Anna said, “We have reached the heights of greatness, all. There is naught remaining in this town to be done.”
Bob said, “Oh, but there is one more thing. If you ladies will excuse Karl and me, there’s something we need to take care of.”
The women looked after us in confusion as Bob dragged me off. They weren’t the only ones who were confused.
“Where are we going?”
“Don’t know. It’s not where, so much as why.”
“What are you talking about? What’s the ‘why’ then? What is it we need to take care of, as you put it?”
Bob looked over at me as we walked, a twinkle in his white-topped eyes. “You’re a Ten now, Karl, right?”
“Yes,” I said proudly. “Yes I am.”
“Now think about that a second. You don’t have to worry about earning Experience points or Attraction points anymore.”
“Yes,” I said slowly, unsure of what he was driving at. “I suppose that’s true. I mean as far as I know.”
“That gives us a certain amount of freedom. And by, ‘a certain amount,’ I mean a fricking Imperial ton of freedom.”
“What are you getting at? You mean we can get laid and not worry about points and stuff.”
“Well, yes, getting laid is pretty much the prime motivation for playing Conquest, and as Tens we can get pussy like Shark Rogers at a bar in Cancun during spring break.” For those of you who are too young to remember the 2070s, Shark Rogers was the hottest actor on the planet, and could pretty much get any girl he wanted until an ill-fated stunt destroyed his face and took off one of his arms. To be fair, even after that he could still get laid easier than most guys. Bob continued, “But what we need to do right now, Karl, is—well, I’ll show you.”
A hot merchant and an equally hot warrior approached us. The merchant gave us her most seductive smile. “Hey boys. Wanna help us level up?”
Bob said, “You two are Nines, yes?”
“That’s right.”
“We’d be happy to help you lovely ladies level up—your Experience.”
“Huh?”
“What I mean, is if you wenches will get down on your knees, you can each earn ten thousand EP.”
The warrior smiled. “Sounds fair to me!”
The warrior crouched down in front of Bob, who lifted up his black robe. The merchant looked at me and asked, “Are you offering ten thousand, too?”
I checked my palm to make sure I had plenty of EP. “I sure am.”
She sank to her knees and I pulled out my massive Level Ten . She had to strain her jaw to accommodate my size, and then my sensitive flesh was engulfed in a warm, wet heaven of lips and tongue.
I thought back to my ex, how little she did this for me, and smiled because now I was free to enjoy it, enjoy it to the fullest, without having to pull away at the last second against my every male desire. Instead, after a good twenty minutes of basking in the joys of the merchant’s mouth, I surrendered to those desires and released freely.
Bob and I walked back to our companions grinning from ear to ear, stopping once to exchange a vigorous toe bump.
Elise asked, “Where’ve you guys been? And why do you both look so happy?”
“Bob insisted I get my war hammer polished.” I held up the hammer. “Look how shiny the head is. They even did the shaft.”
Anna looked down the long street in the direction of the western gat
e.
“Let us be on our way. Glory awaits us at the black castle.”
Chapter Forty-five
WE left Sexbury behind, all of us Tens. Except for Elise, of course, who was higher than the highest level. I still hadn’t figured out how she had managed that feat.
Elise’s white robes gleamed bright in the morning sun, which when behind her pushed through the fabric to give a tantalizing outline of her slender body.
Bob had gotten his black Master Wizard’s robe cleaned, and his long beard stood out white against the dark backdrop as it whipped around in the wind. His wizard hat blew off once, but it returned to his head as if by magic. Well, I shouldn’t say, “as if by,” because of course it was magic. He was a wizard.
Anna wore the same old wonderfully threadbare linen at her waist and chest, and these too the wind whipped around, giving exciting peep shows of her new level-ten Body. I remembered my night with her and smiled, a warm feeling in my chest and other places.
I felt completely happy, setting out on an adventure with the three of them, the three people in the game to whom I had become really attached. It seemed for a moment like one person was missing for my happiness to be truly complete, then I realized I must’ve been thinking of Anaksa. But she wasn’t in this game, she was in what passed for the real world in this digital afterlife, and for the moment I had no intention of going back to Verterria—I was going to see this quest through to the end.
“So, now that we’re all Tens,” I asked my companions, “what’s the point of the game? Is the goal now to try and get to Level Eleven, or what?”
“I am no philosopher, warrior. I do only what my heart desires to do.”
“Okay.” I rolled my eyes.
“The point, Karl, is that we’re Tens and we can bang just about whoever we want, including other Tens, though I’m cool with any level, and on top of that you can smash monsters with that hammer of yours and I can use fricking magic.”
Conquest Page 21