by K M Frost
I groaned. “Please. I’ve had enough calculations for one day.”
Leah chuckled but let it go. I don’t know if she finished the calculation or not, but she never told me the theoretical rate in either case. She dipped into her lunch, but I waited for Ellie—she would feel left out if she was the last one to start eating.
While Leah ate, I stared across the yard, lost in my thoughts.
I sighed. “I wish there was something we could do about those people.”
Leah crunched into her apple. “Which ones? Who do I need to beat up for you?”
My lips quirked with a smile, but I was serious. “The sleepers in the Reality Dreams. I wish there was a way we could make waking up easier for them.”
I hadn’t told Stewart—or anyone, for that matter—but I was worried how my family would react when they woke up. I didn’t want Ellie to feel that fear, or for my parents to go into shock.
I looked at the canopy of leaves high above me, not expecting a response from Leah.
A minute later, Ellie came running toward us.
I glanced at Leah
She shrugged. “Later.” Then she turned to wave at Ellie.
Ellie had run the whole way, and she was breathing hard, but grinning hugely. “Hi, guys!”
Leah was grinning, too. “Hey, Ellie. How’s school today?”
Ellie settled into the grass in front of us. “It’s fine.” She pulled out her lunch and dug in.
Now that we were all together, I opened my lunch and took a bite. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until I tasted my food, and for the next several minutes I just ate and listened to Leah and Ellie talk.
When the chime sounded at the end of the break, I silently seconded Ellie’s grumbled complaints.
I didn’t want to pretend to be attentive for the rest of the day while I tried to come up with a solution for our problem at the Clinic. I wanted someplace quiet where I could figure out what to do.
I think I would feel better if we at least had some kind of plan. Our plan had been to wake people up and have them fix everything. But that wasn’t working out. So now, not only did we not have a plan, we also had to take care of the people waking up in the Reality Dreams.
I couldn’t just cut school, though—I knew where that got me. So I dragged myself through the rest of my classes and tried to look like I was paying attention.
Leah got to Practical Literature right as the chime sounded, so she didn’t have any time to interrogate me, though I could tell by her expression she wanted to.
When Instructor Grey called on me, I had no idea what we were even discussing, let alone what he’d asked me. From the looks the other kids in the room sent me, I knew the question was simple, not one of his typical obscure facts, which made me even more embarrassed.
After glumly admitting I didn’t know the answer, Instructor Grey watched me just long enough to make me squirm, then he sniffed disapprovingly and repeated the question to another kid.
After that I tried to pay attention, though it didn’t really matter—I was so far behind on the discussion I couldn’t make much sense of what he said.
I don’t think I’d ever been more relieved to hear the chime at the end of the day.
I shoved my books into my bag, eager to be out of Instructor Grey’s sight. Leah hurried to pack her bag too, then she followed me out of the room.
Thankfully she held off on her interrogation while we were in the classroom, but I knew it was coming as soon as we made it through the most chaotic crowds in the hallway.
Before she had the chance to start questioning me, I blurted the first thing to pop into my head. “Hey, do you want to come over today?”
Leah pursed her lips, like she knew I was avoiding her questions, but then she shook her head and hiked her bag higher onto her shoulder. “I can’t. My dad’s at the Town Building and he’d freak out if I was gone when he got home.”
I pushed the front door open and held it for her. “Can’t you leave him a note or something?”
Leah smiled a little, but shook her head again. “He didn’t like it the last time I did that. He likes to know where I am. If he doesn’t, he goes a little crazy. I guess he kind of needs to prepare himself. If I’m going to be gone, he likes to have warning. It seems kind of extreme, but after Mom . . .” Her voice trailed off, and I caught her point.
But I’d caught something else she said, too. “Warn him . . .”
She gave me a weird look and I realized I’d spoken out loud. “Yeah,” she said. “He doesn’t like surprises.”
“No.” I ignored the people streaming all around us and faced her excitedly. “That’s what we need to do.”
Leah still looked confused, so I explained further.
“We need to warn people about the Reality Dreams. If we can tell them they’re going to be waking up soon, then maybe they won’t be so shocked when it happens.”
“That’d be great, Jonas. But who would believe us if we told them? I mean, really? We didn’t believe it, and we were there.”
I brushed her logic aside. “Maybe not everyone will believe us, but at least our families would know what’s going on.”
Leah’s face twisted into a pained expression. “Jonas, my dad lives on stories, but even he wouldn’t believe me if I told him. He would think I was crazy.”
“But, they have to believe us. We’re their kids.”
Leah still looked unconvinced, but we couldn’t say more because Mom and Ellie were coming our way.
When I saw my mom I got excited, but Leah shook her head seriously. I decided to wait until everyone was together. Maybe dinner . . .
When we dropped Leah off at her house she sent me another warning look, but I ignored it. I knew what I was doing. If she didn’t want to tell her dad, that was her choice, but I was definitely going to tell my family. If there was a chance I could make the transition easier for them, I would do whatever it took.
The rest of the day flew by, probably because I was trying to figure out the best way to explain things to my family. Either way, before I knew it, Mom was calling me and Ellie in for dinner.
I waited until they’d had something to eat (I didn’t have much of an appetite—I was too nervous and excited to eat).
When Dad went to dish up a second helping I took that as my cue.
“Um . . .” My voice was weak and I winced inside. Not a great start. I cleared my throat and tried again. “I wanted to ask you guys something.”
Mom and Dad looked surprised, but they gave me their full attention. Ellie sighed and reluctantly set down her fork.
I felt self-conscious with them all watching me, and I almost chickened out. Then I thought of the sleepers who’d woken up to so much fear and confusion, and I pushed my nerves aside. There was no telling when they would wake up.
I needed to tell them now.
I pulled in a deep breath and began. “Do you guys ever feel like you had another life before all of this? Like you lived in another world before coming here?”
Mom frowned thoughtfully. “Is this something you learned about in school?”
“No. I just was wondering if you guys felt like that. That you maybe, you know, had strange memories of another life or something.”
Dad chuckled. “You’ve got quite the imagination, Jonas.” He sounded proud and amused.
I was annoyed and frustrated. “I’m serious. When I went on patrol with you a few days ago we talked about guns—remember?”
“You mean that game you and Ellie play?”
Ellie blinked in confusion. “What?”
“No. It’s not a game. A gun is a weapon.”
Dad didn’t look convinced.
I needed to get the conversation back on track. “It’s a weapon, and you’ve used one before—back in the real world. I remember.”
Now they were all frowning.
“The real world?” Mom’s expression was a mix of confusion and amusement.
“Yes. The real
world.” I was desperate to convince them—it was making me lightheaded. I needed them to remember.
Dad’s forehead scrunched with concern. “What are you talking about, Jonas?”
“The real world.” I looked at Mom and Ellie, but they looked just as lost. “Not this place—not Capernia. The real world.”
Mom shook her head, genuinely troubled. “You’re not making sense, Jonas. This is the world. This is where we live. What ‘real world’ are you talking about?”
“The Reality Dreams!” I nearly screamed the words in my frustration.
Mom sat back in surprise, but Dad and Ellie just looked more confused.
I lowered my voice and looked pleadingly at Mom, focusing on her familiar blue eyes. “I told you about the Reality Dreams, Mom. I told you about them weeks ago. I told you they were real, but you didn’t believe me.”
“Oh, Jonas.” Mom reached out to give my hand a sympathetic squeeze. “I thought those dreams had gone away. Why didn’t you tell me they were still bothering you?”
“They’re not dreams.” I knew I must sound like a lunatic, but I was so desperate for them to believe me, I didn’t bother to keep my argument levelheaded. “That’s the real world. All this,” I gestured vaguely around me, “is a dream. It’s not real. When I fall asleep here, I wake up in the real world. There are others there too—Leah’s there. Something happened to the world and everyone got put into this dream. This isn’t real. It’s a lie.”
“Stop!” Mom grabbed Ellie’s shoulders protectively. “Jonas, you’re scaring her.”
Ellie’s eyes were wide and alarmed, but I couldn’t stop before I told them the most important part.
“But we figured out how to wake everyone up. The only problem is, people don’t remember the real world, and it’s hard to adjust. But if you guys know what’s happening, maybe it won’t affect you so bad when you wake up.”
Dad cut me off. “I don’t know what brought this on, Jonas, but you need to stop.” His face and voice were stern—a rarity for him.
I swallowed hard and forced myself not to say anything else.
Mom looked pained. “I had no idea it was this bad. I thought the Counseling was helping.”
Her disbelief coupled with a mention of Counselor Gerrit had me gritting my teeth against a shout.
Dad turned to Mom. “Maybe they have a specialist for this kind of thing.”
That was it. I couldn’t bite my tongue any longer. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not going back there. Ever.”
Mom’s eyes were sad. “Jonas, you don’t really have a choice. The school is only letting you continue your education because of the sessions. If you stopped going, you wouldn’t be able to go to school.”
“Fine!” I tossed my hands into the air. “They can kick me out, but there’s no way I’m going back to that psychopath.”
“Counselor Gerrit? I thought you liked him.”
“I used to . . . But then I found out what they’re really doing there.”
Rather than curious or worried, Mom just looked exasperated. “All they’re doing, Jonas, is helping people overcome issues in their lives. It’s a perfectly safe and well-meaning thing to do.”
I forced myself to take a steadying breath. I needed them to believe me, so I needed to be reasonable. I set my hands against the tabletop and spoke evenly. “That’s what they say they’re doing. But they really don’t care about helping anyone get better.”
Chapter 24
Dad gave me a stern look of disapproval. “Now you are just being ridiculous, Jonas.”
“I’m telling the truth! Mom, on Monday you found me in that back hallway, remember?”
She frowned and nodded. “Yes. You needed to use the bathroom and—”
“I wasn’t using the bathroom. I was in the records room.”
“Jonas!” Mom pressed a hand to her heart in utter shock. “Why would you do that? You’re not supposed to go back there.”
“And now I know why they don’t want anyone back there: They don’t want people to know the truth.”
Dad scoffed. “What truth?”
I licked my lips, anxious to tell them what I’d discovered. “They don’t want to help anyone—not really. All they’re interested in is money. They befriend them, then convince them they have serious problems, so they won’t ever ‘get better’. They just keep telling them they need to come back for more help. That way they never run out of clients or money.”
“Where did you get such an idea?” Mom sounded appalled.
I glanced at Dad, but couldn’t gauge his reaction, so I focused on Mom instead. “I’ve always known there was something wrong with Counselor Gerrit. I met a kid at the Counseling Center, and he told me about Counselor Gerrit, but his description was completely different from the counselor I knew. I always thought it was incredible we had so many things in common . . .”
“You’re basing this off the skewed description of a troubled client?” Mom said it like I was very foolish.
I didn’t let her tone discourage me. “That’s what made me start thinking, but there were other weird things, too. But it doesn’t matter what made me wonder—what matters is what I found. I saw their mission statement.” I stressed the words to be sure they understood the gravity of what I was saying. “It said it right in their statement. They aren’t helping people get better—they’re trying to convince them they’re messed up. They want everyone to think they need counseling so they’ll pay for help, but they’ll never actually clear anyone.”
I waited for my words to sink in. I watched the bewildered expressions on my family’s faces and held my breath until Mom shifted in her seat and spoke.
“Jonas, I don’t know where these wild ideas come from, but we have to do something about them.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. I surged to my feet, outraged. “What? You don’t believe me?”
Dad stood too, and grabbed my arm in a vice-like grip. “Jonas. I never want to hear you yell at your mother again. Is that clear?”
“But, Dad—”
He sent me such a withering look, my complaint died in my mouth. “Is. That. Clear?” He repeated each word, deliberate and threatening.
“. . . Yes, sir.”
He grunted and released my arm. “Go to your room until you’ve calmed down enough to be sensible.”
“Dad—”
“Now, Jonas.”
I glanced at Mom, but she was staring at her plate. I think she might’ve been crying.
Ellie was watching me with wide eyes. Behind the fear, I thought I saw sympathy, but she made no move to defend me.
I looked back at Dad and saw the steel in his blue eyes. I wanted nothing more than to stay at that table and argue until they believed me, but I knew it was no use.
Trying to ignore the bad taste in my mouth and the suffocating weight in my chest, I pushed away from the table and walked to my room.
I locked the door.
I dropped onto the bed without turning on a light. Not only had I alienated my family, I’d also convinced them I needed counseling. And worst of all, I’d trampled any possibility of convincing them of the truth about the Reality Dreams and the real world.
* * *
It’s going to take me a while to get used to the new voices in the Reality Dreams. I’ve spent so long with just a few voices, the new additions startle me.
Then I remember the sleepers are waking up.
I get to my feet and survey the clinic. There’s fourteen people awake now, though I don’t recognize anyone from Capernia.
The new people look about as terrified and confused as the waking did yesterday, but Howard, Jack, Allie, and Edith are taking good care of them. Seeing their independence helps relieve some of the pressure weighing on my shoulders, though not all of it by any means. I wonder if they’ll start to remember things, now the shock is beginning to wear off.
“Jonas!”
Leah waves at me from the other side of the Clinic. I wave
back and make my way toward her.
While I walk, I take in the rest of the Clinic. Abby’s still on her bed with stacks of books, but now Rick is sitting with her. I guess now that the simulation is turning off, he doesn’t have much to do on the computer. I can’t see Stewart, but I’m sure he’s around here somewhere.
Leah’s grinning hugely. “Isn’t it great? There are so many people!”
I force a smile, but I know it’s not a convincing one.
Leah doesn’t notice, though. “Stew said his instructor didn’t show up for class today. Turns out it’s because she woke up!”
I look over my shoulder, though I don’t know what Stewart’s instructor looks like. Then I spot Stew sitting next to a woman, maybe thirty. He’s talking excitedly—I can see his wide grin even from this distance. I assume the woman is his instructor.
I turn back to Leah, trying and failing to match her enthusiasm. “That’s great. Do you know anyone that’s awake?”
“Well, I know you, and Stew, Rick, and Abby . . .”
I frown at her teasing.
Leah chuckles, then she gets more serious. “I don’t know anyone who’s woken up, if that’s what you mean.”
I lean against the nearest bed, feeling exhausted. “I wonder who’ll be the first one we recognize.”
Leah shrugs and leans against the bed too, watching me carefully. “So . . . did you talk to your family?”
I push out a frustrated breath and close my eyes. “I can’t believe I thought they would believe me.”
“Hey.” Leah’s voice is stern, and I open my eyes to see her expression. Her green eyes are intense. “There’s nothing wrong with trusting in your family. You’re supposed to believe each other.”
“But now they think I’m crazier than ever.”
Leah watched me carefully for a second. “What did you tell them?”
I push my hands into my pockets and frown at the floor. “I tried to get my dad to remember guns. I know he can remember, he just doesn’t want to. I thought if I could get them to remember something about this place, they’d believe me about everything. But they wouldn’t even try to remember. I got kinda desperate and tried to tell them about the Reality Dreams and everything we’ve learned here . . . I told them Capernia wasn’t real.”