“It does.” That’s hard to believe because instead of looking happy, she looks like an absolute wreck. A beautiful disaster. God, I’m falling hard for this girl. She’s strong and smart. Resilient. And braver then anyone I know. No wonder I don’t fucking deserve her. But I will spend every fucking day of my life trying to. I won’t let this girl down again. And if a relationship isn’t in the cards for us, I guess I’ll have to accept that. Maybe. Okay, no the fuck I won’t, but I don’t need to say that out loud.
Bibi’s head bobs up and down. “Yeah. Okay. All I ever wanted for Luis was for him to have a family. To be loved, you know? To have people, more than just me or you, that he could rely on to have his back.”
“He does. He has Roman and Allie, Dominique, Aaron, Kasey, my brothers and Sofia. We all want to help take care of him. Hell, Roman’s mom has even been bugging me to bring him by, so he’s got a grandma and grandpa too that are going to love the shit out of him.”
Knowing I shouldn’t, I reach out and cup her face, stroking my thumb along her cheek. “I will always do right by him. I will always put him first and I will always be there for you. No matter where we stand, no matter what you need, I will show up and I will be there. I promise you I will not abandon either of you, and I think moving in with me is the right move. For all of us.”
“Okay.” She smiles through her tears and I stomp down the impulse the kiss her. To seal the agreement with our mouths and show her just how great the two of us can be together if only we try. But we’re not there yet.
“Yeah?”
She smiles. “Yeah.”
“Yes!” I shout, startling Luis, who emits an angry cry. “Shit. Sorry, little man.” I bounce him in my arms and manage to calm him down. He yawns once before closing his eyes again and shoving his face between my neck and shoulder.
“Can I help you pack your things?” I ask, eager to get this ball rolling.
She shakes her head, exhaling a strangled laugh. “Let’s maybe slow down just a little. I can’t move in with you right this minute.”
I frown. I thought—
“I have to be at work in less than an hour. How about you come help me tomorrow and we’ll go from there.”
Oh. Yeah. Tomorrow is good too.
“I can do that.” I kiss her cheek. It’s quick and chaste, but her cheeks turn a beautiful shade of pink and I have to force myself not to stare. “We’ll get out of your way so you can get ready and we’ll talk more about this tomorrow.”
Her smile widens, a wistful expression taking over her face. “Tomorrow.”
Thirty-five
“Bibi!” Antonio—Emilio’s brother—calls my name, and I poke my head out of the bathroom door, toothbrush still in my mouth.
“What?” The word is garbled, but he gets the gist.
“You’re going to be late. Let’s get this show on the road.” I groan and duck my head back inside the bathroom, glancing at my phone for the time. Shit. It’s almost six. I am going to be late.
I spit the toothpaste in the sink, add a quick layer of gloss over my lips and grab a hair tie, hastily throwing my hair up as I make my way to the front door. Antonio waits for me, keys in hand and a smile on his face. “Ready?”
“Yes. Sorry.”
He chuckles. “Don’t apologize.”
He opens the door for me and ushers me outside where Emilio has Luis in his arms as Roberto runs around the yard, Sofia right behind him as she tries to catch up and tag him, but he’s too quick. Their laughter is infectious, and Luis waves his hands in the air, eager to join the fun.
“I’ll be back,” Antonio calls out and three heads turn our way. Emilio’s eyes meet mine and a smile spreads over his face, nearly taking my breath away. He looks at me like I hang the moon and stars and I still can’t understand why. He was right when he said moving in with him and his family was the right move for us. I haven’t been living here long, but already it’s like a weight has been lifted off my chest.
At first, I was nervous. I thought he was going to push for more than I was willing to give and I kept waiting for the moment when he would demand a relationship, but he never did.
I’ve been living with the Chavez family for almost a month now and not once has Emilio crossed the line of friendship. We have movie nights as a family and every Sunday we barbecue with our friends. Everyone comes over and we have carne asada and tortillas. Sofia helps me make the rice and beans, and the boys put together the salsa. It’s a family affair, and something I look forward to every week.
When I don’t work, Emilio and I put Luis to bed together. It’s not usually a big deal, just a bedtime story and then we tuck him in my bed. I considered asking Mom for his crib, but I like having my boy snuggled up beside me. And on nights I do work, Emilio puts him to sleep in my room for me and lays with him until I get home, carefully slipping away as I take the spot he vacated.
Only lately, I haven’t wanted him to go.
“Let’s give Momma a kiss,” Emilio says and my heart stutters, but then I realize he’s leaning forward to allow Luis to get closer. My boy reaches out to smoosh my face in his tiny hands, giving me an open-mouthed and slobbery kiss on the nose as he tries to all but eat my face. “Thank you, benzinho,” I tell him.
“Bibi!” Antonio calls again.
“I’ll see you boys later,” I tell Emilio. “Gotta run if I don’t want to miss my ride.”
Emilio snorts. “Antonio wouldn’t leave you and you know it.”
True, but still… I rush around the car and climb in the passenger seat, making sure to buckle my seat belt. My heart is full as I watch my family continue to play in the front yard, and I wonder not for the first time, if I gave in to my wants, would our lives be even better?
I slip in the back for my ten-minute break, my feet tired and my shoulders stiff. We’re deader than dead, which should make my job easier, but it seems to only make the night drag on longer. At least when we’re busy time flies by and the next thing I know, we’re closing. When it’s like this, all I can do is think, and right now I’m not sure thinking is what I should be doing.
“How’s it going out there?” Allie asks, setting a stack of plates aside.
“Slow,” I tell her, hopping up on the countertop to sit. “I’m taking my ten.”
She wipes her hands with a towel and jumps on the counter opposite me. “Cool, I’ll take mine too.”
She tosses me an apple and I bite into it, swinging my legs back and forth in front of me. “How’s living at the Chavez house going?” she asks with a small smirk.
“Fishing?” I ask her, because this question comes up near daily.
She shrugs. “Maybe. Can you blame me? It’s been a month and I don’t know, it’s weird.”
My brows furrow. “How is it weird?”
“Haven’t you noticed that Emilio’s been acting strange?”
I shrug my shoulders, not really sure what she’s getting at. He seems like the same old Emilio to me.
“When was the last time a girl gave him her number?” Allie questions.
“I don’t know. Probably yesterday.” Which sucks but it's probably the truth.
“Nope. It’s been at least three weeks.”
My eyes narrow. “And you know that how?”
“Because the last time a girl gave him her number, he had Kasey copy it down and give it to every boy in the school. Kasey might have taken things a step further than Emilio intended by telling them all to send a dick pic to that number but—"
I snort and apple flies out of my nose. Ow. Gross. Ow.
“That is disgusting.”
“Shut up. You’re the one who made me laugh.” I clean up my mess and set my apple aside. “Okay, keep going.”
She quirks a brow. “Oh, never mind. You’re not really interested anyway, right? It’s not like you want Emilio or anything.”
“Allie,” I growl in warning.
She rolls her eyes. “Right. So anyway, its public knowledge now th
at if you give Emilio your number when he didn’t ask for it, every guy at Sun Valley High is going to get it, including the freshman. Penelope Reese had to change her number because the dick pics would not end.”
“Why would he—“
“Oh, and prom is next month.”
“Really?” Prom wasn’t really something I was keeping track of.
“Yep. He’s been asked at least eight times that I know of. He’s said no each time.”
“He’s probably just waiting for a better offer,” I joke, even as my chest tightens. The thought of him going to prom with anyone else makes me sick to my stomach.
Now it’s Allie’s turn to snort. “You’re kidding, right?”
I shrug. “What?”
“You know how he feels about you, B.”
I shake my head. “It’s not like that. We agreed—“
She huffs out a breath. “Did you though? Did you both agree, or did you decide?”
“We agreed,” I say, but I’m not so sure now. “At least, I thought we agreed.”
“You’re not dating either,” she reminds me.
“I don’t have time to date. I have Luis and work and—”
“And Emilio?”
My cheeks heat. “Who is the father of my child and a really great co-parent.”
“He is. But now that the dust has settled, are you still sure that’s all you want him to be?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know.”
“Maybe now is the time to be a little daring. Spread your wings and take a chance.” Emilio’s words echo through my mind. Spread your wings, mariposa. Fly.
Things might not have turned out as planned when I first heard those words whispered in my ear, but maybe this is fate’s way of telling me I need to do it again, take a chance. I got Luis out of the deal the first time around, and I wouldn’t trade him for the world. Maybe…maybe it’s time to reach for just a little more.
It’s close to midnight when I make it home, having caught a ride with Allie. I creep inside the house, careful to keep my steps silent as I slip off my shoes and coat and leave them near the door. I wash my face and slip into my sleep shorts and tank that I left in the bathroom before making my way to my room.
Luis is curled up in the middle of my bed, Emilio beside him. As I slip inside, the soft glow from Luis’s night light shows me that Emilio is fast asleep. I chew on my bottom lip before deciding to leave well enough alone for one night. I slip beneath the covers, curling around my son as my feet accidentally brush up against Emilio’s.
His eyes jerk open. Dark brown pools meet my own and a small smile curls his lips before he’s forced to stifle a yawn. “How long was I out?” he whispers.
“I just got home, so probably not long.”
He nods and turns to sit up, but I reach out and wrap my fingers around his hand before he has the chance to. He frowns, a look of confusion on his face as his eyes flick from my hand to my face. “Stay,” I whisper.
His frown deepens and he hesitates.
“Please.”
He nods and slips back beneath the covers, facing me with Luis between us. We stare at one another for several minutes, the silence between us heavy, but neither of us brave enough to break it.
I wrap one arm around Luis, Emilio following suit, his arm carefully covering my own. I close my eyes and force myself to relax. To not overthink this moment and for once to just let it be.
Thirty-six
I wake up to a heavy weight in my face and shift my body, attempting to dislodge whatever it is that’s trying to smother me. A baby giggle greets me and the next thing I know Luis is sitting up, letting me breathe for a quick second before he decides to body slam my face again.
Ompf.
“Hey, little man,” Emilio’s sleep heavy voice cuts through my own early morning fog. “We gotta be nice to Momma.” Luis giggles again, content to use me as a cushion before shoving his face between my breasts, his way of demanding to be fed.
I groan and roll to my side, tugging my top down to expose my breast without even realizing what I’m doing. Emilio sucks in a breath and my eyes jump to his right as Luis latches on and decides to be extra sweet with a quick scrape of his teeth—the only two he has—to remind me I kept him waiting. I bite down on my bottom lip and glare at him. “Bite Momma again and she might just cut you off,” I warn.
He ignores me, of course. Almost a year old now, he’s decided to become a boob barnacle every chance he gets. “Sorry,” I say sheepishly. “I wasn’t thinking when—“
Emilio cuts me off. “You don’t have to hide, you know?”
My cheeks heat. “I know.” But I have been. Whenever Luis has needed to be fed, I’ve slipped into my room for privacy. Not because I feel like I need it, but because… Well, I don’t know why. But nursing him with Emilio present has always felt intimate in a way I can’t quite describe.
“How was work?” he asks, casually changing the subject.
“Long. Slow.”
“How’d you sleep?”
I yawn but manage to push through a grin. “Good. But not as long as I’d have liked,” I complain. Luis likes to wake up around seven, so without looking at the clock I know it must be around that time.
“Why don’t I—"
“Bibi!” Sofia bursts through the door without a care in the world as any middle-schooler would do. “Is he awake.”
I chuckle. “Yes, he’s awake.”
She flicks her gaze to Emilio and raises a single brow. “Why are you in here?”
“Because I’m spending time hanging with my boy,” Emilio says smoothly.
Sofia doesn’t look convinced. “Did you sleep in here?”
The next thing I know Roberto and Antonio are poking their heads in the door too. “Hey have you seen—oh.” Both brothers pause. I turn away, my cheeks heating as I pray they can’t all see my tits on display.
“Sorry. We were just looking for—"
Emilio waves. “Right here.”
“Right,” Antonio says.
‘What do you want?” A thread of annoyance filters into Emilio’s voice.
“Nothing. Sofia come on. Let’s—"
“But I want the baby,” she whines.
“Right. Yeah. Grab Luis.”
Hearing his name, he rears back, releasing my breast to peer over my shoulder. Seeing his aunt, he lunges for her, crawling over my body and forcing her to make a quick grab for him. “Guess I’ve been replaced.”
“You two, uh… catch up on some sleep. We’ll take care of Luis, here,” Antonio says.
The three of them leave and the door closes behind them, leaving Emilio and I alone in my bed. I turn to face him, his eyes caught on my breast when I realize I never pulled my shirt back up. “Oh, my god.” I rush to cover myself and he snaps out of it.
“Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“No, it’s fine. My fault.”
We both burst into a fit of laughter as I realize just how stupid this is. It’s not like he hasn’t seen my boobs before. When I finally get myself under control, my chest is heaving. I wipe the moisture from my eyes and turn to find Emilio staring at me, a wide grin on his face.
“What?” I ask, my heart suddenly loud in my ears.
He shifts closer, closing some of the gap left behind now that Luis is playing with his aunt and uncles. “You still tired?” he asks.
I lick my lips, his eyes tracking the movement.
Spread your wings, Bibi. I tell myself. Fly.
To him, I just shake my head. “No. You?”
“No.”
The next thing I know, he’s closed the distance, his hand cupping my cheek and his eyes boring into mine, giving me every opportunity to pull away. I swallow hard and reach out a tentative hand to trace the line of his jaw. He shudders beneath my touch. “I’ve missed you.” The words slip past my defenses and I freeze, waiting to see what he says, but he says nothing. Instead, his lips press against mine and I melt against him before
I realize that I must have the absolute worst morning breath and tear myself away.
“Shit. Did I read that wrong?”
“No. No. Umm…” I jump out of bed. “Wait right there.” I rush to the hallway bathroom, brush my teeth faster than I’ve ever brushed my teeth in my life, and then hurry back to my room, closing the door behind me. My back is pressed against the door, my chest rising and falling as I’m treated to an unobstructed view of Emilio now that he’s no longer hidden by the covers. He’s sitting against the headboard, the blankets pooled at his waist and his chest bare, showcasing his tattoo.
“You okay?” he asks, worry evident in his voice. “I can go. I mean, I know you said stay but…”
I shake my head and climb back onto the bed, sitting on my knees and facing him. “I don’t want you to go.”
His shoulders relax. “What do you want?” There is so much unspoken between us, so much left unsaid, but this time instead of letting fear or doubt get in my way, I tell him the truth.
“Everything.”
The word barely passes my lips when he’s on me. He presses me back against the bed, his body flush with mine and the fact he’s only wearing boxer briefs becomes apparent when his hard length presses against my core. I gasp, my back arching off the bed.
“Are you okay? Is this okay?” he asks me, his lips nipping at the column of my neck.
“God, yes,” I hiss, clinging to him.
He pulls back and I make a sound of protest in the back of my throat, reaching for him, but he doesn’t give. “What is this, mariposa?” That single word unravels me.
“I don’t know.”
He pulls away, sitting back on his knees. I push up on my hands as his dark brown gaze meets mine and he hides none of what he’s feeling. All his want, his need, are stamped across his face. But there’s something else, a vulnerability I’m not used to seeing.
“I don’t want this to be nothing,” he says. “If this is just some itch—"
“It’s not,” I rush to say.
Savage Devil: A Secret Baby, High School Bully Romance (Devils of Sun Valley High Book 2) Page 23