by SM Olivier
About an hour into the ride, we stopped at an all-night diner and got dessert and coffee. Crew had remained silent, but the conversation with Kyler, Sal, and I had been entertaining. I really hoped winter would take its time setting in, because I needed more nights like tonight. It had been a much-needed break from reality.
The moment we stepped back into the house, I could tell Crew was a lot calmer. Yes, it still ate at him, but at least he was in the right headspace to deal with it. Kyler and I seemed to silently agree that he wouldn’t do anything rash at this point.
“Go with him tonight,” Kyler murmured to me.
“Are you sure?” I asked him hesitantly.
I wanted to sleep with Crew tonight, but I had every intention of sleeping with Kyler. It was his night, after all.
He softly kissed my lips and caressed my cheek. “He still needs you,” he insisted.
I stood on my tiptoes and brought his mouth down to mine. I nipped his lip before sliding my tongue against his. He made a sound between a groan and moan. It probably wasn’t fair to kiss him with so much pent-up passion if I couldn’t help him with the repercussions. However, I wanted to show him my appreciation. I wanted him to realize how much I cared for him. He was selfishly putting his brother's needs above his own desires.
“I love you,” I whispered as our lips separated.
His eyes widened for a moment, and mine did too as I realized I had blurted out my feelings. I hadn’t meant to, not yet anyhow.
A smug grin crossed his features before he pulled me in closer. I could feel his erection against my stomach, and I let out a soft gasp of desire.
“I love you too, kitten,” he admitted. “I just didn’t want to scare you and say it first. I knew I loved you the day we went shopping for your house. I remember picking you up that morning and thinking, ‘Damn, I’m gonna marry that girl one day.’ As the day progressed, I realized that I never felt that type of contentment and rightness with any other female in my past. I knew the other guys liked you, but it still didn’t matter to me if I only got a piece of you.”
I leaned against him and wrapped my arms around his neck. “I love how thoughtful, selfless, and fiercely protective you are for all of us, Ky. I love how you make me laugh and how driven you are to succeed in business and life. Remember when that older couple thought we were married? I didn’t realize it then, but I do now; I can’t imagine a future without you. I didn’t know I could find love with one man, let alone six, but I’m so happy you’re one of them.”
He smiled once more before kissing me until I was breathless. He finally pulled back and forcefully turned me away. He lightly smacked my ass and pushed me in the direction of my bedroom. “Text my brother to meet you in your room before I change my mind.”
I felt like I was floating. My life might not have been an easy one. Trouble and drama seemed to find me no matter where I went, but at least I was loved and cared for. At least I knew I had people in my corner to weather the storm with.
I gave him a saucy wink and smile. “Goodnight, baby.”
“Goodnight, kitten,” he murmured in return. “Love you, sweet dreams.”
My face hurt, my smile was so vast. “Love you too,” I said in return.
17
●
Absent
I didn’t realize I was still chilled to the bone until I began to disrobe. I padded over to the bathroom and started filling up my bathtub. I needed to submerge myself in a hot tub. I walked over to the linen closet and pulled out some candles and a bath bomb.
As I waited for my bath to fill up, I lit the candles and strategically placed them around the room. It was late, but I wanted to set a calming tone for when—or if—Crew joined me. Before I left the bathroom, I dropped the bath bomb in. Then I pulled out my phone.
Me: Will you sleep with me tonight? I’m in my room. The bath is filling up right now.
A small smile curved my lips remembering the last time I took a bath with Crew. He had taken such good care of me after an incredibly difficult period. I remembered that was when he’d told me about his past relationship with Jana. She’d had such an amazing guy and had let him go.
She had chased him for so long, and when she finally had him, she took him for granted. She had expected him to bail her out continually, betraying his trust when she started hooking up with someone else. She made other decisions that still affected him to this day. She had cut him as deep as his mom and dad had when they abandoned him.
I saw the bubbles pop up on my screen, so I knew Crew saw it. I waited for his response and then waited some more. I twisted my ring around my finger as I began to worry. After several moments I felt my earlier euphoria begin to dissipate. I wasn’t going to force him to come to me.
I wanted to give him space if that’s what he needed. However, I wished he would communicate that with me. I could understand that he was under a lot of pressure from Butch, Jana, football, school, and all my drama.
After a few more minutes, I gave up. I plugged my phone into its charger and hooked it up to Bluetooth, then went into the bathroom to turn off the bath before slipping in. I hissed when I realized it was a little too hot but gritted my teeth and sank the rest of the way in.
I threw my hair up into a messy bun and sighed. Suddenly, my day caught up to me. I was exhausted, my limbs heavy. I told myself I’d only remain in the tub for a moment longer. Just long enough to erase the chills from my body.
I closed my eyes as the sounds of Antidote by Faith Marie filled my ears. Like most songs I listened to, I tried to choreograph movements in my head, tried to immerse myself in the lyrics and figure out the best way to translate that into dance.
I heard a slight sound and my eyes snapped open. Crew stood in my doorway dressed only in a pair of sweatpants. His hair was wet, and I could smell his body wash from where I was sitting. I greedily perused his body and couldn’t help but admire it. He’d grown bigger in my absence.
When my eyes reached his, I noticed the war within was still raging.
I held my hand out to him, and he didn’t hesitate before he shucked off his pants. His cock wasn’t soft but not as hard as it could be. I was torn between wanting to take him into my mouth and just allowing him to set the pace.
No matter how aroused I was, I wanted to show him I was there for him. Whichever way he would have me, I would take him. I knew today had been emotionally hard on him. It was bad enough that he had waited nearly a full day before divulging Butch’s return. Then, less than an hour later, I was attacked by Jana and some of Butch’s other people.
Like Zane, Crew felt guilty for his actions. He would continue carrying the guilt even if it was senseless. I wasn’t fooled into believing that his need for vengeance was gone. I just had to figure out a way to keep him away from the ledge.
He climbed in behind me and pulled me in close. I would remain silent until he talked− if he talked. I would be there for him like he had been there for me, taking his cues and following them.
We sat in the bath for several moments. I linked my hands with his and leaned back into him. I felt his full arousal on my back but made no move to do anything about it.
“It was Kyler’s night,” he finally rasped out.
His voice always had a raspy quality to it—however, it was more throaty from hours of disuse.
“You needed me more,” I said simply before turning around to straddle his thighs.
His jaw clenched and he cradled my face in his large palms. “If I would have said something earlier, we could have probably prevented what happened to you today,” he said gutturally.
“If I had trusted my instincts, we would have stayed away from the crowd to begin with,” I said, trying to shrug casually. I had to make him see that his not telling me sooner had no bearing on today's events.
I touched his cheek. “We can play the ‘what if’ game all day, Crew, but ultimately, neither one of us is responsible for what happened today. Butch and Jana are responsible fo
r what happened. You already know what they're capable of, and what little I know of them, I don’t think anything we did would have prevented something from happening. They both seemed pretty determined to do whatever the hell they desired if it benefited them. Jana wants you back. She’s made it clear from the moment I stepped into the picture. Butch, for whatever reason, has decided he wants you and Ky by his side. From my understanding, both of them will stoop to any level to get what they want.”
“I don’t know if I can control myself if I see Jana tomorrow,” he admitted. “I have never raised my hand to a female, but after what she did to you, I wanna make sure she knows never to fuck with you again. I don’t give a shit if she tries to manipulate me or attempts to strong-arm me, but she went too far when she messed with you.”
Was it wrong that his words turned me on? The desire that had been silently humming beneath the surface was rising. I grabbed his face and kissed him.
I knew I had surprised him when his mouth opened and I took the opportunity to slide my tongue against his. He let out a low growl before he grabbed my hips. I knew he just wanted to pull me closer, but I wanted more, so I took it. I reached into our warm bath water and grabbed his hard cock. I lined him up to my entrance and wasted no time sinking down onto him.
We simultaneously groaned. My body wanted to tense because of Crew’s massive intrusion, despite my heightened arousal. He froze and threw his head back. He muttered a curse. It had been too long since we had been intimate.
I grabbed his shoulders and began to rock against him. It hurt so good. I vaguely registered that Chataje by Shakira and Maluma was playing on the speaker. I might have only understood a word here and there, but my hips recognized the beat regardless. Soon, I found myself rotating and grinding my hips to it.
He growled and lifted me out of the tub. We dripped all over the floor as he carried me into the bedroom. He was still inside me, and I tried to find some leverage so I could continue grinding against him to the beat of the music. He fell backwards onto the bed, me still wrapped around his front, and sat up on his elbows, and I realized he loved the unintentional show I was putting on for him.
I got lost in the music and the feel of him. He was biting his lip and letting me work myself on him. I leaned forward and braced my hands on his chest, needing something to hold onto as his cock deliciously brushed against my clit.
I sank my nails into his chest, and his hiss and grunts made me loosen my hold. He shook his head and put his hand over mine, letting me wordlessly know that he liked me marking him. Unintelligible sounds left my lips as I felt my orgasm begin to build.
When Shakira’s Hips Don’t Lie, I changed the rhythm, and he noticed. He lunged up and captured my mouth with his. His kiss was invasive and erotic, and his tongue tangled with mine. His hands grasped my hips firmly, but he didn’t stop my movements. His touch only intensified them as he found the same rhythm to work me on his cock.
The build-up of my orgasm hit its crescendo, and I let out a keening cry as the feeling gripped me. I understood now why the French called orgasms the little-death, because I felt like I was floating somewhere between reality and nothingness. As I was coming down from my orgasm, Crew withdrew from me and flipped me onto my stomach. He lifted my hips and slid back into me.
I cried out at the new position. Crew timed the thrust of his hips with the music as well, and I moaned at how deep inside me he went. It was a pain I welcomed, though, as he pulled me back to him at the same time he surged forward. I was surprised to find I was close to another orgasm.
“Don’t stop,” I begged him, and he must have realized how close I was because he reached around and began to play with my clit.
His fingers rubbed me in a frenzied manner. “Come with me,” he rasped, and I did.
I silently screamed as white spots danced across my closed eyelids. I heard and felt him following close behind me. His hips slammed into me with a frantic pace, and he sounded like a wild animal as he came inside me.
His thrusts slowed, and the moment he released my hips, I collapsed in a boneless heap. Our heavy breathing intermingled. He collapsed next to me and placed a heavy arm across my waist.
“Holy shit,” he finally muttered.
I didn’t know why, but I started giggling. It echoed my inward sentiments exactly. I felt equally invigorated and sleepy. I crawled towards my pillow.
“You’re leaking,” he said almost smugly.
After sex, I generally liked to clean myself up and use the bathroom, but even the idea of leaving the bed was too daunting and exhausting.
“I can’t,” I almost whined. “Sleep.”
“Wait a second, angel,” he softly chuckled.
I paused my efforts in getting under the blankets and burrowing in their sweet, beckoning haven.
The bed shifted as Crew got up. I heard the tub drain and some splashing before he padded back into the room. I listened to him blow out the candles. Then I felt the warmth of a wet cloth applied to the inside of my thighs. He cleaned me up, and I smiled at his thoughtfulness. I really needed to pee, but I wasn’t able to lift my heavy limbs.
“Thank you,” I mumbled as he proceeded to lift the blankets and tuck me under.
“No, thank you.” He kissed the spot between my shoulder blades before he turned on the fan.
I shivered, but I didn’t protest. I had gotten accustomed to Crew and Kyler running hot. They liked sleeping in an icebox.
Crew pulled me in close, and I curved into him. I was almost asleep when his raspy voice whispered in my ear.
“Do you trust me?” he inquired.
I yawned and burrowed in him. I thought it was an odd question. My brain wasn’t quite functioning. “With my life. Why?” I prodded.
“Do you know how much you mean to me? That I’d do anything to protect you?” he asked after several beats of silence right as I was on the verge of sleep once more.
I laughed softly at his evasiveness. I knew he was my protector. I also understood he still felt guilt over today. “I know,” I reassured him as I traced my nails against his arms. “But you can’t blame yourself for what happened today.”
He sighed deeply and was silent. He kissed my temple and murmured something I was unable to understand as sleep finally claimed me.
●
I was looking over my shoulder constantly the next day. There was a weird vibe at school. I couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason why until we reached English. I had been dreading going to that class because my acting skills had to be on point. Also, Jana was in that class.
I didn’t want to cower or show her any fear. However, I didn’t want her to realize I had told Crew and Kyler what she had done on Butch’s behalf, either. She was volatile without the aid of the drugs she pushed and sold. She was highly unpredictable and unstable without adding them to the mix.
Unlike most of the teens and young adults she ran with, I knew she never hit the hard stuff. Much like Butch and her father, they liked distributing and profiting from the drugs they wouldn’t touch themselves. The guys told me they smoked weed recreationally but refused to go near the harder stuff.
“She’s not here,” Zane confirmed as he led me to my seat. “A lot of her ‘friends’ are absent, too.”
I nodded and sighed in relief.
“I don’t even understand why she still comes to school, other than distributing her wares,” Paxton scoffed. “If she makes so much money pushing, why bother completing her education?”
I began pulling my book out of my bag. Paxton’s comment piqued my curiosity. I didn’t want to talk or think about Jana, but I was trying to look at it like a case of “knowing my enemy.” If she planned to come at me continually, I should be prepared.
The more I learned about her, the better.
“What better place to find vulnerable people hoping to find a brief escape from reality than a high school?” Golden commented with a shrug as he pulled out his literature book.
“She knows
how to prey on the easily swayed,” Zane added. “Remember that kid last year?”
I cocked my head to the side in confusion. I hadn’t heard that story. Since Crew wasn’t here to get upset, I hoped I could learn more about Jana.
Crew had stayed behind with Coach Leech to review some plays. It was getting close to a big game day. Here, most teachers didn’t seem to mind if the coaching staff chose to pull a player in for a meeting during the school day. It was an odd and new concept to me. Football was a big thing at my old school, sure, but not nearly as huge as it was here.
For a smaller “backwoods” school, I was surprised how many of their athletes got accepted into collegiate sports. Only a tiny percentage ever went pro, but the amount of talent they groomed here was astounding.
“Dwayne Newman, yeah.” Paxton sighed and shook his head before he looked at me. “He was the new kid last year. His parents had just divorced. He moved here with his mom last summer. His mom started dating this new rich guy, so she gave Dwayne a lot of freedom and money to play with. When he first started showing up at parties, he seemed like a pretty decent guy, right? But it didn’t take him long to start drinking and trying to start fights with everybody and anybody. It was clear he was trying to drink away his pain.
“Jana started flirting with him, and, I think, he really believed she was interested in him. He knew she was dating Crew at the time, but he didn’t care because this beautiful woman was coming on to him. In fact, he snorted his first line off her stomach. It wasn’t long before he was buying harder stuff from her. He was in rehab by Christmas.”
“What did Crew do? Where was he?” I asked in shock. “Why didn’t anyone tell him what she was doing?”
“None of us knew about it,” Golden explained. “We tolerated Jana because she was dating Crew. Crew knew we didn’t care for her, so he barely brought her around. He didn’t hang out with us as much as he did with their group of friends.”