by SM Olivier
“Don’t you start something you can’t finish, Ms. Delaney,” he growled against my lips before giving me a bruising kiss.
I loved teasing him and seeing how far I could push him until his inner beast came out to play.
“Who said I was teasing?” I smirked as I tugged him towards the dressing room.
I really didn’t plan on having sex with him while an over-attentive sales lady hovered nearby. However, I couldn’t deny the sense of intrigue in me at the mere thought of hooking up with him in a public setting. I quickly realized I was discovering more and more sides to my sexuality. My interest was piqued, and I wanted to explore it all. I had no doubt I wouldn’t care for everything, but I was determined to uncover as much as possible with my guys.
“If the sales lady weren’t on her way back, I would more than happily show you how much that dress affected me,” he growled out as he rubbed his arousal against my stomach. “However, this store is too small, and I’ve discovered, much to my liking, that you aren’t a quiet comer.” He pushed a strand of hair off my face and cupped my cheek.
Well, technically, the hair he pushed off my face wasn’t my own. It was the long blond wig I had worn on my birthday. Maybe the lightness and carefree attitude I was experiencing today was partially due to the fact that nobody seemed to recognize me. And I mean nobody. Not one person whispered about my identity or trained their phones on me so they could snap a picture.
Even Sal and Des had hung back and discreetly followed us today. They had chosen a table on the other side of the restaurant we had brunch at. They still had eyes on us but kept their distance. Then, when we started exploring the stores, they didn’t enter them with us. They sipped on their coffees and hung out on the benches strategically placed along the sidewalks.
It was so much easier to feel like the old me without the daily reminders of how drastically my life had changed since my abduction. It was as if a heavy yoke had been removed from my shoulders, and I was finally free. I felt a thousand pounds lighter.
“I can learn to be quiet.” I smirked at him. “And you didn’t answer my question. Have you ever had sex in public?” I reached down to palm his erection and gently squeezed.
He hissed out as his eyes narrowed on me. “You’re a naughty girl and deserve a spanking. Yes, I’ve had sex in public in the past.”
A brief feeling of jealousy hit me. I hated imagining another woman knowing him as I did. Then I quickly dashed those thoughts away. He was mine now. How could I be jealous of his past when he shared my present with five other men?
“Ooo,” I cooed. “I do like a good spanking. Where was the craziest place you hooked up with someone?”
With my jealousy pushed aside, I was genuinely curious.
He seemed to examine me for a moment before he smirked. “You let Ky spank you, didn’t you?” He grasped my hips and pulled me closer.
I didn’t even have to evaluate his response. Lochlann and Kyler were best friends, since high school. I was sure the subject of their kinks had come up a time or two.
His nose skimmed my neck before he took one of my earlobes between his teeth. I whimpered as I felt my immediate reaction.
“And did you enjoy it?” he asked.
“You keep avoiding my questions,” I whimpered as my eyes closed to enjoy his ministrations further.
“In the back of a pickup truck at one of our bonfires in college.”
I had thought he only had the one experience and was shocked when he continued, nibbling on my neck all the while.
“In the pool at our frat house. In college, under the bleachers at one of our home games at half-time,” he answered before nibbling down my neck. “Your turn.”
The clenching in my stomach was back. I could feel my arousal begin to coat my panties.
“Yes, I enjoyed the spanking,” I admitted. “I was rather surprised to discover I enjoyed toeing the line between pain and pleasure. Although I can’t imagine wanting to be tied up anytime soon,” I added wryly. “Are you a bit of an exhibitionist?”
I wanted to be open with Lochlann about my curiosities. I also wanted to make him aware that I still had some hang-ups. I hated that my abduction had instilled fears in me that I would never have had if it hadn’t been for my kidnappers’ treatment of me. I didn’t think I could ever be tied down without remembering how I’d woken up in that very way in the cabin in the woods, or without recalling the smell of burning flesh and the excruciating pain as Tormentor snubbed his cigarettes out on my arm as I was restrained, helpless, and unable to do anything about it.
Lochlann stepped back, gently grasped my chin, and tilted my head up. He placed a sweet kiss on my lips.
“I wouldn’t say I’m an exhibitionist, but I don’t shy away from public… affection. I’ve never been into tying girls down. It’s just not my cup of tea.” He gently stroked my hair off my face. “I also hope you realize you should never feel uncomfortable or afraid in the bedroom with us. Don’t ever be reticent to speak up and let us know what you like and what you don’t.”
I appreciated his concern and support. However, I wasn’t ready to take our conversation into the dark. I enjoyed the lighter side of him and loved how it evoked the same feelings from me. I had enough darkness shrouding me lately, and I needed to cling to the light more often.
“‘The dolphin’ was slightly uncomfortable at first,” I told him tongue in cheek. I was clearly steering the conversation away from my painful memories. “But once we got the hang of it… I enjoyed it.”
Last night, he had taken me in ‘the dolphin position.’ I'd never heard of it. He had never tried it. Apparently, he had come across it in an article in a magazine about different Kama Sutra positions. It piqued his interest, so he guided me into the position last night. Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed it.
At my words, he blinked. I didn’t think I had ever surprised him into silence before. He seemed to be dissecting me for a few moments, then started laughing− eye crinkles and all. I knew he had been tempting to “shrink” me, but luckily he understood my need to veer from the tough conversation.
“This is why I love you so damn much,” he murmured against my lips. “You are so brave and fearless.”
“I think you’re gonna love me even more when I get a hold of a Kama Sutra book. I smirked against his lips. “I fully intend on circling the positions that capture my attention the most. You’re more than welcome to highlight any positions that you want to try. Also, feel free to X-out ones that you feel are too difficult or impossible.”
“No position will be difficult,” he scoffed as he pulled me in closer to his body. His hands were caressing my bare back. “Especially with your flexibility and my stamina,” he added cockily.
A throat loudly cleared behind Lochlann, and I looked up to see the sales lady nearly as red as her shirt. In her hands were two shoeboxes, and there was no doubt she had heard our conversation. Lochlann seemed almost as embarrassed as he took a step away from me, but I was amused.
I took the shoeboxes from the lady. “Thank you very much.” I smiled as I took a seat on one of the plush armchairs. “I’m sorry if you heard any of that,” I added with a mischievous grin. “Are you married? We’re newly married and still in the honeymoon phase.”
I heard Lochlann make a sound between a cough and gasp.
The sales lady smiled and raised her hand, displaying a beautiful ring set. “I’ve been married for twelve years. Between college, finding our careers, buying a house, raising three kids− two, five, and ten− and facing life together, I wished I would have bottled up a fraction of that excitement. Nowadays,” she said a touch bitterly, “if a sports game is on, he barely acknowledges our existence. Sadly, he follows all sports. I really can’t remember the last time we were intimate.” She sighed, then smiled sweetly. “Enjoy the honeymoon phase for as long as it lasts.”
I bit my bottom lip and looked at Lochlann. I felt like I was out of depth with this awkward turn of events. Wa
s voicing condolences appropriate? Because I sure as hell didn’t have any words of advice for her.
His eyes were full of mirth as he looked back at me. “My wife thinks if she purchases us a Kama Sutra book, it will keep our love life spicy. I’m inclined to agree with her.”
The saleslady snorted. “I’ve looked through that book. I doubt my husband has the stamina to attempt even a quarter of those positions, and after giving birth to three big babies, I’ve kissed my flexibility away.”
It was my turn to make an inarticulate sound as I stood up in the pair of five-inch heels. I took a few quick steps to check them for comfort. I wasn’t crazy about heels, but this dress required them.
“I think these are perfect,” I blurted out. “What do you think, my love?”
Lochlann smirked. “I think you make everything beautiful, love,” he responded.
I heard the saleslady sigh once more. “Like I said, hold onto it. I’ll be at the register to check y'all out.”
“We’ll be right there,” I reassured her. “Oh my goodness,” I mouthed to Lochlann as she briskly walked away.
I had just wanted to see if I could tease Lochlann; I hadn’t expected the woman to spill her life story to us. I kind of felt sorry for her. I hoped twelve years from now I wasn’t as… bitter or unsatisfied with my love life. Although, if I was lucky enough to be with the guys for a long time, I didn’t think I was in danger of having a lackluster sex life anytime soon.
He covered his laughter with his hand and shook his head at me. “Get dressed, wifey, so that we can get out of here.” He was clearly amused by my embarrassment now.
I rolled my eyes and walked towards the dressing room loudly proclaiming, “No, my love, you can wait fifteen minutes until we’re home. Are you sure you’re not a sex addict?”
I was pleased to have riled him up once more.
●
“How is this even possible?” I exclaimed as I flashed Lochlann the book.
I was looking at an illustration of a man in the ‘backward bend’ position while the woman straddled him from above.
He laughed and shook his head. “Yeah, no, I don’t think any of us are capable of doing that. Well, maybe Zane.”
I giggled and shook my head as I flipped to the next page. “I’ll pass. It doesn’t even look comfortable.”
Before we’d left town, I had dragged Lochlann into a bookstore. I picked up a few books for Renee and Maisie. Renee loved reading, and I so happened to know her favorite author had just released a new book. And Maisie was eager to get her hands on chapter books since her reading had greatly improved since the beginning of the year. Of course, acquiring a Kama Sutra book had been my main objective; the other gifts a happy coincidence.
I made sure to get little gifts for everyone. Since Paxton’s birthday was coming up, I took the opportunity to get his presents now as well.
“Let’s try the ‘triumph arch next.’” I held up the book.
Lochlann laughed and slid one of his hands on my thigh, squeezing it. “I’ll try anything you want to try, love.”
I laughed and closed the book as I realized we had turned onto our road. “I’ve highlighted the names of positions that looked interesting to me. I’ll let you peruse it at your leisure,” I winked at him, “and you can highlight some of your favs.” I clipped a different color highlighter onto the paperback.
The first hour of our journey home, we had simply talked and enjoyed each other's company. I had only pulled out the book for the last half hour of our drive.
“Thank you for last night and today,” I told him, linking my fingers through his and squeezing. “I had such a fun and amazing time. Can we do it again sometime?”
He picked up our linked hands and kissed the back of mine. “Of course. I think we need to slip away from the norm from time to time. You know, to keep our love alive.” He winked at me.
I shook my head and laughed. “Yeah, twelve years from now, I wouldn’t want to tell some unsuspecting strangers about our lackluster sex life, or should I say ‘nonexistent?’”
He looked over at me, and I could see the hesitation in his eyes. “We’ll be together in twelve years?”
“That’s what I hope,” I said quietly, avoiding his penetrating gaze. I knew I couldn’t picture a future without him and the others, but I’d only had this conversation with a few of them. “Do you not still see us together?”
He kissed the back of my hand once more. “In my fantasies. In reality, I wonder how you’ll feel about us once you’re away from here. I always thought I would come back here, but once I went away to college and realized that there’s a whole other world beyond this small town, my plans changed. I had no intention of returning… unless it was just to visit. I had jobs lined up in the big city. If my parents hadn’t passed away, I think I would be there now. I don’t want us holding you back. Once you’re away, I don’t want you to realize you don’t belong here anymore and feel obligated to return. You were meant to fly, and I don’t want us to be the reason you don’t.”
I was both hurt and angered by his words. I didn’t want to believe he was pushing me away. I also didn’t appreciate the fact that he assumed they were the ones holding me back. It wasn’t like I wasn’t going to continue to pursue my dreams. I just planned to try to keep the guys while I was doing it. I knew with determination and dedication to each other, we could make it work.
“Do you regret coming back?” I finally asked after a long beat of silence.
“No,” he said with zero hesitation. “But I had a reason to return.”
“And I don’t?” I scolded. “I know it’s not going to be easy. I won’t even pretend to believe that. However, I think anything worth keeping is worth fighting for. The love I have for you guys will never diminish or lessen over time. I feel that deep within my soul. I never felt such a keen sense of belonging until I met you guys. It has nothing to do with where we are but if we’re together. Do you think we aren’t worth fighting for? How can you tell me you love me but believe it has an expiration date? When I chose to give you my heart, I never had, nor will I, any intention of asking for it back. It doesn’t work that way.”
He was silent for a few moments as we pulled into the driveway. “I totally believe we’re worth fighting for. No, I don’t believe our love has an expiration date, and I know that I’ll never love another as I love you. I thought I’d found love before. Hell, I even asked a woman to marry me weeks before our graduation. She bailed after my parents’ and siblings’ funeral. Her unwillingness to try to make us work and insisting on uprooting the whole family made me question what I believed was love. Now that I found you, I have no doubt I was never in love with her to begin with. I loved the idea of her. I loved the way we looked on paper, but it was all so analytical and clinical.”
I was shocked by his admission. No one told me he had been engaged with someone. “Why am I just hearing about this now?” I asked with a frown.
He shrugged, looking slightly sheepish as he put the car in park. “That’s how unimportant she became. It hurt at first, but then you came into my life. I realized she hadn’t crossed my mind in days. It was like an epiphany. She’s now a part of my past, just another lesson.”
I sat contemplating his words for a few moments. I was still torn between being irritated and upset. I was just finding this out and realized I should probably let it go. Once again, she was in his past, and she didn’t affect our present.
I turned in my seat and leaned in to kiss him. “I will never feel like you or the others are holding me back. No one has asked me to change my plans to fit theirs. As I said, once I get done with school, or if my dance career doesn’t pan out, I’ll go wherever most of you are. Plus, Grandpa and David are here.”
At his skeptical look, I laughed and added, “I know, I know. I have no high hopes of discovering a relationship with David, but he seems sincere enough right now. The more I get to know him, the more I realize we have some eerie similarities
. But, yeah, I have complete faith we can make this work. However, if down the road you find out that it doesn’t work for you, or if you even have the smallest feeling that someone else completes you, then I won’t hold you back, either. It would hurt, but I won’t hold onto someone that doesn’t want to be held onto.”
He threaded his fingers through my hair and pulled me in for another kiss. “I’ll wait. If it takes four years or ten, I’m in it for the long haul if you are. I’m going back to school soon. I’ll have breaks. The kids and I can come to visit you wherever you land, and hopefully, you’ll find opportunities to come and visit us as well.”
“You guys were there for me when my mom left. You were there for me when I was taken and have helped me navigate my way back physically, emotionally, and mentally since my return. You have shown infinite patience and understanding. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this work,” I said with conviction.
He grinned at me and kissed me again. “You make me so happy.”
“Ditto, lover boy,” I teased.
He chuckled and shook his head. “Let’s get inside and figure out what’s for dinner.”
“Let’s,” I agreed.
I had enjoyed my time away with Lochlann, but a small part of me missed my other guys and the kids. I couldn’t wait to see what they thought about the gifts I got them.
I went to the trunk, and Lochlann and I began to gather our bags.
“Need any help?” Sal asked as he approached.
I jumped, and he gave me a rueful look. “Sorry about that.”
I took a deep calming breath. One day I wouldn’t be so jumpy. “It’s okay. Yes, please, if you don’t mind?”
“Not at all.” Sal shook his head, grabbing a few shopping bags.
“We’re going to start dinner soon. You and Des are more than welcome to join us if you like,” I offered.
“I’m going to talk to the security guys and then probably head over to the apartment,” Des said as he joined us, pointing towards the apartment above the garage.