He kissed the top of her head. "I can't stand the thought of leaving you again. Being with you is the only time I feel whole anymore."
She closed her eyes. This house, without him, would be terribly lonely now. Nestling her head closer to him, she said, "I can't think about it. It's too horrible."
He put his pizza slice down and pulled her into his arms, cradling her like a baby. "My sweet love, I wish I could keep horrible things from you." He traced her cheekbone with his fingertip. "I feel so incredibly helpless, being so far away from you. I worry about you all the time. What if you're sick? Who will care for you? What if you have a wreck? It will take me so long to get to you. I love you, and yet I can't be there for you. It's terrible for me." He cuddled her close and kissed her cheek.
She felt protected, safe—like never before. Was this what it was like to be married? If so, it was marvelous. She wanted to tell him, "I'll come with you. I'll marry you." What stopped her was self-knowledge. She never, ever wanted to regret that choice. Never wanted to resent it, or, God forbid, resent Caleb. He didn't deserve that from her. Until she knew that she could give up her business with a free and happy heart, she couldn't tell Caleb those words.
He was so sure there was an answer. She wouldn't give up on him. On them. Not yet. Sitting up, she asked, "Do you like to play cards?"
"I do. What game are we talking?"
"Something simple. How about gin rummy?"
"I haven't played that since I was a kid. I have to warn you. I was a card shark."
She grinned. "Well, so was I so we'll see who skins who." She went to the drawer in her end table and pulled out a deck of cards. "Do you remember the rules?" How wonderful was it that he liked to play games?
"Different people play by different rules. You tell me yours, and we'll play by those."
She explained as she shuffled the cards.
Eyeing her quick hands, he said. "Hm, you do look like a card shark. I may be in trouble."
"Watch and learn, cowboy." Her heart sang with joy as she looked at the loving, handsome man sitting next to her. How she'd missed him. Tonight was so unexpected. Almost magical.
He laughed and picked up his cards as she dealt them to him. The draw stack lay between them on the couch.
Fanning his hand, he slid cards in between each other, then moved others to the ends.
She chewed her lip. He must have a good hand. Damn. "You go first. I know I'll win so you'll need a head start."
He cracked up and drew a card, saying dryly, "Well, thank you for taking pity on me, my love." Keeping the card, he discarded one from his hand.
Eyeing him, she drew a card from the stack. It didn't match. Crap.
He smiled wickedly.
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Don't get cocky, mister."
Grinning, he picked up the card she'd discarded and laid down another from his hand.
Holy hell. She drew another card. It matched nothing, and she laid it down, her lips in a pout.
Drawing his next card, he grinned and kept it, then discarded.
He'd started with a good hand and had kept something with each turn. Crap. She'd probably lose this hand. How he would lord it over her. She couldn't use what he'd just laid down and drew again. Finally, something that matched. She laid down one of the many cards that didn't match anything in her hand.
Caleb drew again, discarded and said, "Gin!"
She threw her head back and groaned.
He grinned. "I'm sorry, but that was just too perfect."
"So, the stories from your childhood are true. I'll never doubt you again." Grinning, she kissed him with a loud smack.
He laughed and gathered up the cards.
They played until after nine. She hadn't had such fun in ages. They were both competitive and gave no quarter. As she put the cards away, she said, "I love you. I don't tell you enough. I appreciate how patient you are with me. And how kind."
He came up behind her as she shut the drawer. "I love you, too." Nuzzling her ear, he said, "Let's go to bed, sweetheart."
Sweetheart. This was the first time he'd called her that, and it touched her. They had never really used endearments before. So much was new for them. She turned to him and kissed him softly. "I'd like that." After making sure the doors were locked and turning out the lights, she joined him in the bedroom.
He was just coming out of the bathroom and smiled at her. "All yours."
A few minutes later she came out, and he lay in her bed, under the covers, looking like he belonged there. Her heart thumped, and she walked to the other side, taking off her robe and laying it across the chair.
His eyes followed her every move. "I love it when you wear gold. That shimmery color looks amazing on you."
She settled in beside him, her head propped up on her hand. "I kind of like you naked right now."
He laughed and grabbed her. "Come here, you." He pulled her on top of him and kissed her. "Your eyes were the first thing I noticed about you. I try to sleep, but I see you, your beautiful eyes calling to me."
She stroked his face. "I can't help thinking what gorgeous eyes your babies will have."
He took her hand. "Eve, you've mentioned something a couple of times. It's about you and the condom accident. Is there something that keeps you from getting pregnant?"
Her hand clenched. This was uncomfortable. But he had a right to know. "It's something ... well, I've never had regular periods." She swallowed. This was harder than she thought. "I can go months without one. I don't ovulate regularly."
She rolled off him and lay on her back. "Not long after I left your ranch, I called my mom, who has the same problem, and asked her how she knew she was pregnant with me and my brothers. Mom said she didn't know until her belly started to swell. She never had one bit of morning sickness with any of us." Eve glanced at Caleb. "Apparently, my mom and dad tried to get pregnant with each of us kids. Tried hard. I've checked my stomach. It's flat."
He took her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. "It's been a while now. You could take one of those home tests. Or, I'll pay for you to visit your doctor."
"I've considered that. I don't think I'm ready to know." She felt disloyal to him somehow, with that admission. She hadn't thought about how he must be feeling—not knowing. "I'm sorry I'm such a chicken."
He rolled over and looked at her, his head pillowed on his arm. "Hey, this is your maybe, maybe-not pregnancy. You can be chicken if you want."
A fierce love flooded her. Caleb understood her, supported her, loved her with no reservations. She pulled him on top of her. "I hope you brought some condoms. The ones I have are old as dirt."
He laughed and reached for the bedside table. "I'm way ahead of you, honey."
She took it from him and opened it, sliding the thin latex on with gentle fingers.
Laying her on her back, he kissed her languidly, taking his time, caressing her breasts—bringing her body to life slowly. This time when he made love to her, theirs was a shared pleasure, perfectly giving, perfectly taking, and they fell asleep in each other's arms.
Chapter Eleven
SITTING AT HER DESK, Eve couldn't concentrate on the figures in front of her. After a week of lovemaking and intense joy, Caleb had flown back to West Texas this morning. She knew his leaving would be hard, but it was much worse—horrible. She went with him to the airport and cried when she said goodbye. His eyes turned red and his hands shook as he kissed her. Watching him walk away was one of the hardest things she'd ever done.
With her flight lesson set so that she could go straight from DFW, she made it, but was ten minutes late.
Jet was not happy. He grumbled, "Are you such a hot-shot pilot now that you think you can keep me waiting?"
"Sorry, Jet."
He stared at her, probably noting her red-rimmed eyes. "You up to this today? Tell me now if you're not."
"I got it." She nodded and strode over to start her preflight checklist. She had four more hours to go before accumulat
ing enough flight time to get her pilot's license. Jet needed confidence that she could fly, though, before he signed off on her lessons. Then, hopefully he would agree to get her instrument rated, too. Her dream was so near to coming true.
When David phoned a few minutes later, she was ready for a break. No amount of trying had kept her focused on her work.
He said, "Do you have time to head to the architect's? I asked them to put this project on the fast track. They just called, and the drawings are finished."
At this point, anything that took her away from her computer appealed to her. "Sure. When?"
"I'll head over to you now."
After a trip to the restroom to freshen her makeup, she locked her desk and paced the floor. She was excited to see what the architect came up with, but this also meant another step toward a choice she wasn't prepared to make. David would be expecting her to tell him what she wanted to do about their partnership. She couldn't. Not yet. She was further from a decision than ever, since Caleb's visit.
Her text tone went off, and it was Caleb:
Eve, I'm so devastated to be back at the ranch. This isn't home now. Wherever you are is my home. I love you desperately. Caleb
She didn't think her heart could sink any lower, then it just did. She replied:
I can't stand this. I can't work. I'm a mess. I love you. Eve
David walked in, took one look at her face and said, "Damn, Eve. How can I help?"
"You can't. I'm not sure anyone can." She picked up her purse. "Ready."
Frowning, he clasped her elbow and escorted her out the door.
THE DRAWINGS WERE FABULOUS. Talking about what would work was one thing, but seeing her building laid out in front of her was incredible. Her facility would include small dorm rooms where clients would stay, two to a room. This would allow for evening networking and strategizing meetings among the participants, which she felt were critical to the success of her program. A state-of-the-art audio-visual room was planned, and she could serve up to thirty clients in each five-day workshop. This set-up was marvelous.
When she had gone over all the details with the architect, Eve said, "I love it. You've done an amazing job."
David smiled. "Are we ready to draw up plans?"
She sucked in her bottom lip and met his gaze. "Not yet."
His face clouded. "Right." He stood. "If you have a little more time this afternoon, I have something else to show you."
She peeked at her watch. "Sure."
Once back in the car, they settled into an uncomfortable silence. Turning to him, she said, "David, I'm sorry."
He glanced at her, then back at the road. "I'm not sure I understand what we're doing. I can see you're excited about the drawings."
"Oh, I am. I love them."
He glanced at her again, his brow arched. "And?"
She sighed. "And, it's complicated. If I go ahead with this building, it means that I'm putting long-term plans with Caleb out of my life."
He kept his eyes on the road. "Is he really worth giving up something like this, Eve? You have the opportunity of a lifetime here. Lovers come and go in life, but you'll have one truly fulfilling career, if you're lucky."
What a dreary outlook. She turned to stare out her window. "Caleb's more than my lover, David."
"Maybe."
A half-hour later, he pulled into a large grassy piece of property about thirty minutes from the airport area. "My real estate agent scouted this, and it's got a nice price tag. It would be a perfect lot for your building."
Eve looked around. The land must be zoned for business because there were a few other businesses up and down the road. It was flat and so quiet. Students would be able to study here. "I love it. You're right. It's perfect." Smiling, she envisioned the building in the drawings sitting on this site. It really was a dream.
She patted his arm. "Thank you, David. For everything."
He smiled and reversed out of the drive.
They were silent on the way back to her office to retrieve her car. Everything was coming to a head. Somehow, she must make her decision.
CALEB HELD ON AS HIS horse dove to the side, cutting a cow off, then the mare galloped after her, driving her back to the herd. His mount knew what to do. Once he aimed the feisty mare at one of the cattle, he just sat back and let the horse work. They were rounding up one of the herds, and he was riding one of the working horses on the ranch, not one of his prized show horses. The mare had good bloodlines, though, and was a registered Quarter Horse.
Though cowboying was hot, repetitive work, there was always the chance that something could go wrong, and it kept his mind busy and off Eve. A loud four-wheeler roared by, kicking up dust. They nearly had the cattle in the pen.
The big black bull came lumbering by, jogging ahead of another deafening vehicle, looking none too happy. Caleb headed toward the corral of portable cattle panels, ready to help funnel the cows and calves inside. Would Eve be at her flying lesson right now?
A cow right in front of him picked up her head, saw the pen, and shot away from the herd. His mare lunged after her, almost unseating him. Grabbing the horn, he righted himself. That's what he got for daydreaming.
Once the cattle were safely inside the corral, he loaded the mare in the trailer and headed back to the ranch. After unsaddling her and turning her out into the pasture, he went in the house to shower. Somehow, he had to find an answer to his life apart from Eve. He couldn't stand living separately like this. His time in Dallas, and then coming home to his empty bed, had shown him that clearly.
Freshly clean and dressed, he poured himself a cold glass of iced tea and headed into his office, settling at his desk in front of the computer. An idea had come to him while he laid awake last night, and today he wanted to follow up on it. After opening a Word document to take notes with, he began his research.
Hours later, Millie knocked on his open door. "Dinner's ready, son. Come eat. And don't tell me you're too busy."
He sighed, stretching his arms above his head. "Actually, I think I'm finished."
"What have you been working on? I haven't heard a peep out of you all afternoon."
He smiled and stood. "I've found an answer. I know how to make my relationship with Eve work."
Millie, rushed to him and gave him a hug. "Honey, that's wonderful. Come to dinner, and tell your father and me all about it."
Arm in arm, he walked his mom into the dining room, and, for the first time since watching Eve drive away from the ranch, felt hope.
EVE LAID AWAKE MOST of the night, tossing and turning, unable to bear the consequences of either decision she must make—give up Caleb, or give up her business. Each time she thought her mind was made up, she changed it.
She loved Caleb more than any man she'd ever loved before—loved him so deeply that she couldn't imagine living her life without him. She wouldn't let him go.
Alone, drinking her second cup of morning coffee, she called Tammy. "Hey, I can't come in today. If there's anything you need me to handle, shoot me an email. I'll have my phone with me."
Tammy was silent a few seconds. "Eve, are you all right?"
"Just tired."
"You sure? I mean, you never take off work." She paused. "Let me know if you need anything. I'll try not to bug you. You just rest."
Rubbing her eyes, Eve headed out to the back porch and sat in the swing. It was a cool, overcast day. Somehow, she had to figure this out. Kicking with her feet, she set the seat moving. The swaying motion lulled her anxious mind.
One good thing had happened. Her flight lessons were completed, and she could now get her pilot's license. That made her incredibly happy. She imagined what it would be like to fly her own plane and the places she’d go in it.
Calmer now, she made a decision and headed in to dress.
A half-hour later, she walked into the nearby drug store and wandered the pharmacy aisles. It took a few minutes, but at last she found the section she needed and looked over the se
lection offered. Making her choice, she checked out and drove back to the house.
Arriving home shortly before ten, she fixed herself a glass of iced tea and stared out her sliding glass doors. The wind had picked up. It looked like it might storm. The thrashing trees matched her mood perfectly. Glancing at the bag laying on the table, her pulse sped up. Was she ready for this? She took a sip of tea. No ... she wasn't. Just like she wasn't ready to make the decision about her business. But she was out of time.
Striding to the table, she set her tea down and picked up the bag. Her heart pounded. Pulling out the pregnancy test and flipping the box over, she read how it worked. Pulse racing, she made her way quickly to the bathroom. Ready or not, she would learn her fate.
Chapter Twelve
EVE LAY SNUGGLED UNDER her covers, her phone in her hand, her thoughts whirling. She'd made her decision, and she could live with it. There was no doubt in her mind. She dialed David. When he answered, she said, "Hi, do you have time to stop by my house? I stayed home today."
"Are you okay?" He sounded worried.
"I'm just tired."
"Sure, I can come by. When?"
"The sooner, the better. Are you busy now?"
"I just finished a meeting and can cancel my next call. How about I come right over?
"Thanks, David. I'll see you in a little bit."
She got up and dressed, then made a cup of coffee. Though she felt confident in her decision, until she'd told both men, she wouldn't be able to relax. And she needed to see each man, face to face. She owed them that. She pulled out her laptop, opened the internet, and started typing.
When David arrived thirty minutes later, she asked him into the living room and joined him on the couch. Taking his hand, she said, "David, my best friend, I want to thank you for the fabulous opportunity you've offered me. But, I'm sorry, I can't take it."
He clenched her hand. "Eve, is this about West Texas? Because, if it is, you're making the biggest mistake of your life."
The Cowboy's Fate (The Govain Cowboys Book 1) Page 10