“Fuck it,” he said as she walked back to his bedroom.
He grabbed the small Ziplock bag from his top drawer and stuck his hand inside. He pulled out a few pills and popped them into his mouth, swallowing them dry. He went into the kitchen and grabbed his half-filled bottle of Hennessey. He turned the bottle up to his mouth and drank it until it was empty. The contents burned going down but he didn’t care. He knew that in a matter of minutes, he would be dead to the world. After staggering back to his bedroom, Boss laid across the bed and looked at the ceiling. It felt like the entire room was spinning and he welcomed the merry go round. His eyes got lower and lower until he finally drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, Boss got up feeling like shit. His head was pounding as he jumped up from the bed and barely made it to the bathroom. He lifted the toilet lid just in time before he started throwing up the contents of his stomach. Boss hadn’t popped pills in a long time but he didn’t miss anything about it. He hated the way they made him feel, so that was his last time. With the help of the treatment facility that he had gone to, he learned to cope without them.
“I gotta get the fuck up out of here,” he mumbled as he started the shower and got inside.
Once he freshened up and got dressed, he decided to go pay his father a visit. It was crazy how things had changed. A few months ago, Boss couldn’t imagine himself even acknowledging him. Now, he valued his words of wisdom and his company. When he pulled up to Bear’s house, he was happy to see his truck parked out front. He was hoping that him stopping by unannounced wasn’t a problem. He just needed somebody to talk to.
“Boston? I wasn’t expecting it to be you at the door but I’m not complaining. Come on in.” Bear smiled when he opened the door for his son.
“Sorry for not calling first,” Boss said as he walked into the house and closed the door behind him.
“You’re welcomed here anytime, day or night. You don’t ever have to announce your visit,” Bear said as he led him into the kitchen.
“Hey sweetheart. I’m cooking breakfast. Would you like some?” his father’s girlfriend asked him.
“Nah, I’m good but thanks,” Boss replied. Bear didn’t know Boss all that well yet, but he could see that something was bothering him. His eyes held a sadness that was hard for him to hide.
“Come on out here to the garage and let me spank that ass in a game of pool right quick,” Bear said, making his son laugh.
“Put some money on it since you seem so sure of yourself,” Boss replied as he followed him to the garage that he’d turned into his man cave.
Boss grabbed a pool stick as his father set up the table. He was lost in his thoughts until Bear spoke up and snapped him out of it.
“So, tell me what’s going on. I can see that something is wrong. The eyes don’t lie,” Bear observed.
“Man, I don’t even know where to start,” Boss sighed.
“Does this have anything to do with Indigo?” Bear asked as he took the first shot.
“How do you know?” Boss countered.
“Because she’s walking around looking just as fucked up as you are,” his father replied.
Hearing him say that made Boston feel good and bad at the same time. It felt good to know that Indigo wasn’t happily living her life without him. But, he also felt bad because she wasn’t happy. The shit was crazy but it was his life at the moment.
“Man, I’m just fucked up right now. I’m happy that we’ve reconnected and what I’m about to say ain’t no shade towards you. But, I’ve learned to live without a mother and father. I’ve learned to live without drugs and, at one time, food too. I’ve never learned to live without Indigo because I never had to. Honestly, I’m not even sure that I can. I pride myself on saying that I don’t need nobody but that shit is a lie. I need her and I don’t know how much longer I can go without her,” Boss said, being as honest as he’d probably ever been in his life.
“Damn,” Bear said at his son’s raw honesty. He’d been in love before. Hell, he was in love now but it was never that deep for him. He knew that Boss had feelings for Indigo, but that was an understatement.
“I feel like I played Russian roulette and the one and only bullet hit me in my heart,” Boss sighed.
“This nigga in here reciting poetry and shit,” Bear said, making his son laugh. He was trying to lighten the mood and he was happy to see that Boston was smiling.
“I’m heartbroken and all that other shit, but that won’t stop me from punishing you on this table,” Boss said as he took his first shot.
He ended up spending the entire day with his father and having dinner with him and his girlfriend. Boss went back home later that night and decided to try the sleeping alone thing again. The second night was a little better and he didn’t need the pills or alcohol to get through it. Instead of running away from his thoughts, he decided to embrace them. They weren’t all bad, so he tried to focus on the good things and that seemed to help. For the first time in years, he went to sleep alone and woke up the exact same way.
“Hey daddy,” Indigo said when she answered the phone.
“Hey baby. I know that you’re off today. What do you have planned?” Irvin asked.
“Nothing. Just watching tv,” Indigo replied.
“Well, get up. I wanna take you out to lunch. Just me and you,” her father said.
“Maybe some other time daddy. I’m not in the mood to do anything or go anywhere,” Indigo mumbled.
Justice had been trying to get her out of the house for the past few days, but she always declined. He had taken off for a few days to spend some time with her but they hadn’t done anything. The most Indigo did was go to work and back home. He seemed to be annoyed with her lack of interest, but she didn’t care.
“It’s been an entire week Indigo. You need to get up and get out of that house. And I’m not talking about just going to work,” Irvin said.
“I don’t feel like driving,” Indigo whined.
“No worries. I’m on my way to you now,” Irvin said.
“Daddy! No!” Indigo yelled but he had already hung up.
She was not in the mood to be bothered but she knew that her father would not let up. After dragging her depressed body from the bed, Indigo took a quick shower and threw on some leggings and a shirt. She slipped her feet into a pair of Jordan’s and pulled her curly sew-in into a high ponytail. As soon as she glossed her lips, her phone rang but it wasn’t her father, it was Justice.
“Hey baby,” Justice said when she answered the phone.
“Hey,” Indigo replied somberly.
“What’s up? What are you doing?” Justice asked.
“Being forced to leave the house against my will,” Indigo replied.
“By who?” Justice asked as his heart rate sped up a little.
He had just returned to work that morning after catching Indigo and Boston together the week before. Justice was too scared to leave her alone, for fear of her running back to her best friend. Since Indigo hadn’t really been going anywhere or doing anything, he decided to go back to work and get back to his normal routine. He was tired of her moping around the house and not wanting to go anywhere. She was acting like her entire life was over since she couldn’t be friends with Boston anymore. He knew that Sundays was their day to ride their bikes and he was hoping that wasn’t what she was trying to do.
“My daddy. I told him that I didn’t feel like going anywhere, but he’s not trying to hear me. He’s on his way to pick me up to go out to eat,” she replied, making Justice visibly relax.
“At least somebody is getting you out of the house since I couldn’t. I keep telling you that we’re good baby. No need for you to keep feeling down about it,” Justice said, making her roll her eyes up to the ceiling.
He was a damn fool if he thought that her foul mood had anything to do with him. Indigo was missing Boston something serious, but he was done with her. She lost count of how many times she tried to call him but he never
answered for her. She wanted to message him, but words escaped her every time she tried. She needed to see him or even hear his voice. That was the only thing that was going to make her feel better. When she heard a horn blowing out front, Indigo grabbed her keys and prepared to leave.
“I gotta go Justice. My daddy is here to torture me,” Indigo said as she walked out of the house and locked up.
“Don’t feel like that baby. Getting out of the house will do you some good. Enjoy your lunch. I love you and I’ll talk to you later,” Justice replied before he hung up. Indigo slowly made her way to the car and got in.
“Hey baby.” Irvin smiled as he leaned over and kissed her cheek.
“Hey daddy. Can we not go anywhere that’s too crowded? I don’t like people anymore and I don’t want to see them,” Indigo said, making him laugh.
“Dramatic just like your mama,” Irvin said, finally getting her to smile.
“My mama was not dramatic.” Indigo smirked.
“You don’t believe that yourself. But, I’ll have a little pity on you. How about we grab some food and go back to my house and eat it?” Irvin suggested.
“Hell no, daddy. With the way I’m feeling, I’ll probably have to lay your wife and her daughter out for playing with me.” Indigo frowned.
“That’s even better. Nobody is home, so we’ll have the place to ourselves.” He smiled.
They stopped and got some takeout from a local restaurant. Indigo’s appetite had been up and down lately, but her food smelled great. When they got to the house, they went to the sitting room and put on a movie.
“Where is everybody?” Indigo asked as she picked at her baked fish and pasta.
“I don’t even know but what’s up with you?” Irvin countered.
“I don’t know daddy. Maybe this love thing just ain’t for me. I wouldn’t keep getting it wrong if it was,” Indigo sighed.
“That’s not true Indigo. I hate that Justice had to find out the way he did, but you should have been the one to tell him. I understand that you didn’t want to hurt him, but you’re the one who’s hurting now,” Irvin pointed out.
“I know and depression does not take a day off. I tried to make it right with Boston, but how can I when he won’t even answer the phone?” Indigo said, right as they heard the alarm announce that the front door was being opened. She frowned because she knew that it was too good to be true.
“That’s probably your brother,” Irvin said with a mouth full of food.
Indigo picked over her food as she made small talk with her father. Irvin hated to see his baby girl so down but he was willing to do whatever he could to make her feel better.
“Where you going?” Indigo asked when he got up with his plate in his hand.
“To get something to drink. Do you want anything?” he asked her.
“Nah, I’m good,” Indigo answered as she replied to a text message from Justice.
He was trying to see where she was since he was getting off from work soon. Indigo told him that he could pick her up from her father’s house when he did because she was already over being outside. She was still playing with her food when the door to the room opened and closed again.
“I know you ain’t in here wasting no food,” Boss said, making her snap her head up and look at him.
It felt like the rain stopped instantly and the sun started shining again as soon as their eyes connected. Indigo wasn’t about to play coy or hard to get. She leaped to her feet and jumped into Boston’s arms like she was a child.
“I missed you baby. Why didn’t you answer the phone for me?” Indigo asked as she hugged him tight. She was vulnerable and she didn’t mind showing him that side of her.
“I missed you too, baby. I’m fucked up Indie. This has been the hardest week of my life,” Boss confessed.
“How did you know that I was here?” she inquired.
“Your pops hit me up. I can’t do this separation shit no more Indie. I don’t care if I have to go back to just being your friend. I just need you, baby,” Boss admitted.
“Friend!” Indigo yelled as she jumped out of his arms and looked at him like he was crazy.
“That’s not what I want but I’ll take you any way I can get you. Just as long as you’re in my life,” Boss said.
“I love you, Boston. And not just as a friend. All I wanted was for you to answer the phone so that I could make things right. I was choosing you, but you left before I could say anything. I don’t want two boyfriends; I only want you,” Indigo cried.
“Don’t cry baby. You know I love the fuck out of you, Indigo. Real talk, I was scared of you rejecting me. That’s the only reason why I never picked up. It wasn’t because my feelings for you changed or nothing like that. I’ve lost a lot of people in my life. I couldn’t lose you too.”
“You’ll never lose me,” Indigo promised as he pulled her close and kissed her.
“Man, this was a rough ass week,” Boss sighed.
“Yeah, for me too. And just so you know, the only man that I’m weak for is you.” Indigo smirked.
“I’m sorry baby. You know I didn’t mean that shit Indie. I was hurt and I shouldn’t have said that. You’re one of the strongest women that I know,” he replied.
“I learned from the best.” She smiled. Just then, something else came to Boss’ mind and he needed to address it.
“Wait, so you didn’t marry that nigga?” Boss asked as he grabbed her hand and looked for the ring.
“Why would you even think that? Hell no, I didn’t marry him,” Indigo replied.
“Okay, well marry me,” Boss said.
“Just say when,” Indigo replied with no hesitation.
“Today, right now,” Boss requested.
“I don’t think that’s possible Boston,” Indigo laughed.
“Why not?” he questioned.
“First of all, today is Sunday and nothing is open. But, I think we have to get paperwork and stuff before we can get married. We can go check on it tomorrow though,” Indio said.
“I’m serious Indie. I really want this,” Boss replied seriously. He sat on the sofa and pulled her down on his lap.
“So do I,” Indigo assured him.
The week that they were apart put a lot of things in perspective for her. Irvin was right and she should have followed her heart a long time ago. Justice was a good man and she didn’t want to hurt him. Unfortunately, she knew that was going to happen anyway.
“When are you moving out of that nigga’s house?” Boston asked her.
“Today!” Indigo yelled, making him laugh.
“I’m not trying to rush you or pressure you, Indie. I’m here baby and I’m not going nowhere,” Boss promised.
“I just want to go to sleep with you every night and wake up with you every morning,” Indigo replied.
“Let’s do this shit then,” Boss said excitedly.
When he got the text message from Irvin, he was on his way to his father’s house. Boss made a U-turn in the middle of a busy highway and headed to his house instead. Indigo being there without Justice was perfect because they needed to talk. According to his father, Justice had been playing her close lately. He was picking her up and dropping her off to work every day. Boss was begging Draco and Jaci to tell him what she had been up to, but they refused to report to him any longer. Everybody thought it was best if they talked and he was happy that he finally listened. He tortured himself for an entire week for nothing. All he had to do was answer the phone and he would have had all the answers to his questions.
“Bring me home. I need to go get my car,” Indigo said as she stood up.
“You need to go pack your shit too,” Boss replied.
“Yeah, that too.” Indigo smiled.
“Damn, I missed you baby,” Boss said as he hugged her tight.
“I missed you too,” Indigo replied.
They walked out of the room hand in hand and went to look for her father. When they passed the living room, Ivy was s
itting on the sofa flipping through the channels on the tv. She looked at their intertwined hands and frowned. Indigo blew her bitter big sister a kiss and went down the hall to her father’s office and knocked on the door.
“Come in!” Irvin yelled, right before they walked inside. He was on the phone, but he put the call on hold.
“I’m leaving daddy,” Indigo said with a bright smile.
“Look at you, abandoning your daddy for a man,” Irvin joked.
“No, I’m abandoning you for my future husband. Wait a minute. Where’s my ring nigga?” Indigo asked as she looked at Boston.
“Shit, I don’t have one. That’s the good part. You get to pick out your own,” Boss replied.
“Wait, what am I missing here? What ring?” Irvin questioned.
“He asked me to marry him and he didn’t even buy me a ring,” Indigo fussed.
“You act like the shit was planned Indie. We can go get your ring tomorrow,” Boston replied.
“Congrats baby. Y’all let me know if I can do anything to help,” Irvin said.
He hated to see his baby girl feeling so down, but he knew what to do to make her feel better. Irvin was happy that Boss came when he asked him to. He was sure that he was missing Indigo just as much as she was missing him.
“Thanks daddy. And tell Dixie I said hey.” Indigo smirked as they walked away.
She and Boss left and headed to her house. Indigo couldn’t stop smiling, even if she wanted to. She and Boss made plans to go ring shopping the next day. They also needed to find out about a marriage license and see where they had to go to get married. They both decided not to do anything too big because it was a waste of money. First, she had to have a talk with Justice before she did anything else. He deserved that much.
“I’m going home and wait for you. Don’t take too long,” Boss said when he pulled up to Indigo’s house.
“I won’t. I don’t think I’m gonna get everything today. I have too much stuff. I’ll just pack enough to last me until I can come back for the rest.”
“I love you, baby,” Boss said as he leaned over and gave her a kiss.
To Boston, With Love Page 20