by L A Cotton
“This is not how I saw the night goin’.” She flopped down beside me on the velveteen loveseat situated in a darkened corner of the suite.
“Aww, I’m sorry, Mol. I know how much you wanted to have fun.”
“It’s fine.” Her eyes slid to mine. “At least you came. That’s huge, Eva. Shall we call it a night? It’s still pretty early so it doesn’t have to be a complete washout. We can order room service and rent a movie?”
“You read my mind.” I stood up and offered her my hand.
“I think Colton needs a lesson in party plannin’,” she grumbled as we left the suite. It was only a little walk to the elevator, but before we’d made it even a few steps, I felt someone move up behind. Half expecting to see Josiah, my breath caught when I saw Hudson Ryker standing there.
“Leaving already?” he asked.
“I, uh... excuse me?”
A slow grin pulled at his lips. “Do you always get this tongue-tied around people or is it just—”
“Hud,” a deep voice said from behind him, and the guy from earlier smiled in my direction.
“Hey.”
“Holy cow,” Molly breathed, standing beside me. “You’re...” She swallowed, and slowly the missing pieces clicked into place.
“The band,” I sighed, feeling stupid I hadn’t realized sooner, “you’re with the band.”
The guy lowered his eyes, rubbing the back of his neck. Hudson chuckled quietly. “I take it the two of you have already met?”
Mystery guy cut his friend with a hard look I didn’t understand.
“I’m sorry, did you need somethin’?” My question was for Hudson despite not being able to tear my eyes off his friend and the torn expression he wore.
“Actually, we wondered if you want to come and hang out?”
“You want us to what?” I shrieked.
“Hang out, chill, kick back…” Hudson stared at me like I’d grown a second head.
“Excuse us a minute,” Molly grabbed my hand, “me and my friend need to clear up some things.” She pulled me away, not stopping until we were out of earshot of the guys.
“Hey,” I protested, “is there any—”
“Do you have any idea who that is?” She gawked at me.
“He’s with the band?”
“He’s not just with the band Eva. He’s in the band. That is Black Hearts bassist Rafe Hunter.”
“Rafe Hunter.” His name rolled off my tongue as I glanced over to where he stood watching us.
“We have to go with them.”
“What?” I whisper-shrieked. “No! Absolutely not. Hudson is an ass, and Rafe is...” I had no idea how to answer that. But we couldn’t go with them. They were rock stars. Actual living breathing rock stars. And we were—
“Evangeline Star Walker, listen up and listen good.” Molly leaned closer, practically pushing her head against mine. “That is Hudson Ryker and Rafe Hunter, one half of Black Hearts Still Beat. Do you realize how many girls would kill to be in our shoes right now?”
“I guess,” I grumbled. “But I’m not sure—” Molly pressed her fingers to my lips.
“I know. And I would never ask you to do anythin’ you didn’t want to. But this is Hudson Ryker and Rafe Hunter, babe. If we don’t do this, we will regret it. For the rest of our lives.”
“Molly, I’m not sure...” I was breaking. But she was giving me her puppy dog eyes, silently begging me to say yes. To give her this one thing. And I couldn’t deny part of me did want to talk to Rafe again.
“They probably expect us to sleep with them.”
“Please, I’m not goin’ to sleep with him.” She rolled her eyes as if the idea was preposterous. I wanted to believe it was, but there was something in her gaze. That dreamy sparkle girls got around guys they like. “But I wouldn’t say no to a heavy make-out session.”
“Molly!”
“Oh come on, babe. Like you wouldn’t kiss Rafe. I saw the way you looked at him. And what did Hudson mean, you two have already met? How did I not know about this?” Hurt flashed across her face.
Choosing to ignore that, I mumbled, “I can’t believe I’m doin’ this,” under my breath. Molly squeaked with excitement, forgetting all about my earlier transgression. And before I could change my mind, she grabbed my hand again and pulled me toward the two brooding guys.
“So,” she flashed Hudson a seductive smile, hardly fazed by the fact she was talking to music royalty. “What did you have in mind?”
“We’ve got the penthouse suite. The view is pretty incredible. You want to come check it out?” Hudson swiped his thumb along his bottom lip, brazenly checking my best friend out.
“It sounds amazin’.”
“There’s just one small catch.”
“Go on…”
“You’ll need to sign a non-disclosure agreement.” Hudson flicked his eyes to Rafe who was silent and still beside him.
Molly gave a dismissive shrug. “It’s no biggie for me. Eva?”
“The show already made us—”
“This is different.” Hudson cleared his throat. “This means you can’t talk to anyone… about us.”
“You think we’re goin’ to run back and tattle to our friends?” Molly sounded genuinely hurt.
“It wouldn’t be the first time,” he grumbled. “But it’s just the way it has to be.”
“Fine, lead the way.” She grinned as if she wasn’t giving up the chance to hang out with them for anything.
I rolled my eyes, and Rafe snorted under his breath, lingering behind to walk with me.
“I guess we’re signin’ the NDA,” it came out barely a whisper.
“Hey,” he said. “If you don’t want to do it, then don’t. But believe when I say my intentions are pure. You were only headed back to your room and Hud is right, the view is pretty incredible.” His eyes fixed right on me, pulling me in.
“The view... right.”
“Eva, you don’t have to come—”
“Too late.” I flicked my head to where Hudson was leading Molly down the hall, flanked by a burly bodyguard. It was then I realized there was another one behind us.
“Don’t mind Lennox and Jake.” Rafe said, noticing my expression.
“Are they... comin’ with us?”
“They’ll be close by, but no, they won’t be hanging out if that’s what you mean.”
“Yo, you guys coming?” Hudson called out from the elevator, but I was frozen in place.
Was I really about to do this?
Go up to the penthouse suite of two rock stars? One of whom was clearly into my best friend and another who I’d shared two intimate conversations with today.
“There’s no pressure,” Rafe’s voice startled me. “If you want to head to your own room, I can have Lennox walk you.”
“I...” I glanced back at Molly and she gave me her pleading eyes again. Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself and said, “Let’s go.”
“Eva, you have to see this,” Molly said the second I followed Rafe into the penthouse.
It was a vast open plan room with a long oatmeal sectional dividing the living area and the kitchen. Huge windows ran along the far wall, and the décor was warm but modern. Splashes of burned orange and browns complemented the dark varnished wood counters and coffee table. It was a far cry from our small craftsman house back in Lyme.
“Drink?” Rafe asked me and I smiled.
“Just a water please.”
“Eva, babe, get over here.” Excitement radiated from Molly as I approached her and Hudson. He watched her, leaning casually against the wall, as her wide eyes took in the view. “I’ve never seen anythin’ like it.”
“You get used to it,” Hudson murmured.
“I guess being a famous rock star has its perks.” The words spilled from my lips, and Hudson’s brow quirked up, his eyes narrowing on me. Molly looked mortified as she mouthed, “what the hell?”
“Different city, same view,” he added, his expressio
n softening. “After a while, it all looks the same.”
“I don’t believe that for a second,” I said quietly.
During the show, I’d written Hudson off a spoiled arrogant musician. But there was something different about him tonight, something beneath his hungry gaze as he watched Molly take it all in.
Rafe came over and handed me my water. “Thank you,” I said.
“Guess I’ll get our drinks,” Hudson grumbled. “Molly, drink?”
“I’ll take a beer.”
“How old are you exactly?”
“Old enough.” She smirked.
“So long as you’re legal it’s all good.”
My eyes flew to Molly who snickered into her hand. Rafe stalked after Hudson, leaving me alone with my best friend. “What the hell are you doin’?” I hissed.
“Havin’ fun. Relax, babe. Besides, he’s only nineteen.”
“But their lives aren’t like ours, Mol. They’re…” I glanced over at the guys who were huddled close, expressions strained as they argued about something. Most probably us.
“Rock stars.” She grinned. “It’s like every girl’s fantasy.”
My brows crinkled as I let out an exasperated breath. “Just promise me you won’t do anythin’ reckless.”
“Only if you promise me, you’ll try to enjoy yourself. Rafe seems… nice.” Molly’s grin grew.
“Molly!” I warned.
“What? I’m just sayin’ he’s… oh, hey, Rafe. We were just—”
“Can I borrow Eva for a second?” he asked.
“Borrow away.” Molly gave me a little shove and I stumbled into him. My hands went to his chest, as I steadied myself.
“I’m sorry.” My cheeks flamed.
“Don’t worry about it.” His soft chuckle made my stomach clench. “Come on, I want to show you something.”
“I… okay.” I followed Rafe to the other end of the room, nervous energy swimming in my veins.
“Don’t look so worried,” he said, his gray eyes sliding to mine. “I just thought you might like to check this out.”
I immediately saw the source of his interest. “Holy crap, is that a—”
“A ‘62 Zemaitis ‘Heart Hole’ Bass.”
I moved closer, itching to get a better look. “It’s beautiful.” The classic handcrafted guitar was a rare beauty; mahogany neck, fretless rosewood fingerboard, and mahogany back and sides. “This must have cost a pretty penny.” I’d heard of guitars such as this one going for upward of twenty thousand dollars.
“I won it in a bet.”
“Shut up,” I gasped. “You did not win a ‘62 Zemaitis in a bet.”
“True story.” Rafe’s lip curved as he perched on the edge of the back of the sideboard. “Maybe I’ll tell it to you one day.”
“I’d like that, very much.”
“Want to play it?”
My heart almost leaped into my mouth. “Oh no, I couldn’t,” I stuttered over the words, already imagining what it would feel like in my hands, how it would feel to move my fingers across the strings.
“Go on, it’s an instrument. It’s supposed to be played.”
“But it’s a ‘62—”
“Zemaitis, yeah, so you keep reminding me.” His eyes twinkled with amusement, but I didn’t feel like he was laughing at me. It felt like we were sharing an intimate joke.
It felt… disarming.
“I’m just… wow, for real?”
“Go ahead.” He tipped his head. “Just be gentle with her."
Lifting her off the stand, I cradled the guitar against my body, finding a comfortable position. “It’s surprisingly light,” I observed, testing an A chord followed by a C minor.
“Nice,” Rafe said, watching me intently. “Play something for me?”
“I, uh… sure.”
It wasn’t like this night could get any weirder.
Closing my eyes, I strummed the opening notes to a song I’d written a long time ago. It was a simple melody, given a dreamy sound by the alternating chords. The sound washed over me, and it didn’t take long for the lyrics to spill from my lips.
“And what I’d really like, is for you to see me. See the girl behind these eyes. But you don’t see and you don’t know, what’s lies beneath or where I go…”
My body swayed gently, my foot tapping softly against the plush carpet. Until I was no longer a girl standing in a penthouse suite playing a song for Rafe Hunter. Until I was no longer riddled with guilt and anger and fear.
Until I was free.
“That was…” Rafe’s voice yanked me crashing back to the room. I hadn’t even realized I’d finished until his words hit me. “Just wow,” he added.
“Sorry, I kinda got lost in the moment.”
“Don’t apologize. You have a beautiful voice, Eva.”
“Thanks.” I gently placed the guitar back on its stand. “And thanks for lettin’ me play.”
“Anytime.”
Why did that sound like a promise?
Shaking the crazy thoughts from my head, I glanced around his tall frame, frowning when I saw we were all alone. “Where’d Molly and Hudson go?”
“I, uh,” Rafe grimaced, “I think he’s giving her a tour of the place.”
“Let me guess, the bedroom?” My brow rose.
“He’s not a bad guy, Eva.”
“I never said he was, but you’re…” Shaking my head, I swallowed the words. “It doesn’t matter.”
“No, go on. Say whatever’s on your mind. I have thick skin; I can take it.” Rafe looked disappointed, and I felt a pinch of guilt.
“I didn’t mean…” I sighed. “It’s just we all know how this ends. Your friend will take whatever he wants from my friend and she’ll…”
“She’ll what?”
“It doesn’t matter.” I moved over to the window, needing space. Needing to be away from his intense stare. His questioning eyes.
“Molly seems like a girl who knows what she wants.” Rafe came up beside me. “Is it so bad if they enjoy the moment?”
“No,” I breathed out, lifting my eyes to his. “I just… that isn’t what I’m looking for.” I don’t know why I said the words. He’d given me no reason to assume he was the same as Hudson, that he wanted the same thing.
But the words were out there now, hanging between us like a sheet of ice.
“And you think that I am?” His tone wasn’t cold, but chills ran up my spine, nonetheless, making me shudder. “Are you cold?” he added.
“I’m fine, thank you.”
“Hungry? Thirsty?”
Fighting a smile, I shook my head. “I’m good.”
“So, Evangeline Walker, how long have you been playing?” Rafe wandered to the sectional and I followed. We sat down, keeping a safe distance between us. But I didn’t miss the way he angled his body toward me, completely at ease sitting with a girl he barely knew.
“I can’t remember a time when I didn’t play. Mom says I was born hummin’ a tune.”
Something flickered over his expression. “Was she like those crazy pageant moms? The ones who have their daughters on stage before they can string together a sentence?”
I laughed. “Not really. I always loved performing but I never needed a big audience. I was just as happy playing in my yard to the birds and the neighbor’s cat as I was performin’ to the whole town at the annual hoedown.”
“Your town has an annual hoedown? Now that is something I’d pay to see.”
“It’s about as excitin’ as it gets where I live.”
“And where is home?”
I hesitated, hardly able to believe Rafe wanted to know all of this. But there was nothing in his eyes to suggest he was just humoring me, so I answered, “Lyme. A small town ten miles out of Ploughton. What about you?”
“I hail from Atlanta, but it hasn’t been home for a long time.” His eyes darted to the floor, just for a second, but enough I knew there was a story there.
“I’ve never
been,” I said. “To Atlanta, I mean. In fact, I’ve never been out of state. But I’ve always wanted to travel.”
“We were on the road until June. Six months of touring across the country.”
“I bet that was fun.”
“It was in the beginning; being in a different city every night. The sights and sounds, even the smells. But being on a tour bus with three other guys can get… cramped.” The corner of Rafe’s mouth kicked up wistfully. “It doesn’t take long for the days to blur into one.”
“You’re really sellin’ it to me.” Strained laughter vibrated in my chest.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do. I love the fans, the music, getting to stand up on stage and play but…” he hesitated.
“It gets lonely.”
His eyes widened on mine, as if I’d just uncovered his darkest secret.
“Yeah, it does.” The air thickened around us and Rafe leaned closer, his eyes pinning me to the spot. “I can’t remember the last time I just sat with someone and talked,” he admitted. “People always want something from me. Selfies, autographs, just one quick song before I leave.”
“I guess that’s the price of fame.”
“Yeah, well, sometimes it feels too high of a price to pay.” Rafe flinched. “Shit,” he raked a hand down his face, “I’m saying too much and you’re probably thinking I sound like an ungrateful bastard.”
“Not at all. I appreciate your honesty. It’s… refreshin’.” I’d leaned in now, erasing the space between us. Rafe was tall, much taller than my five-six. And he was nothing like the guys at school. Nothing like boys you could take home to meet your parents. But he looked down at me, with gray eyes that were so expressive and honest, it made my heart flutter wildly in my chest.
He wanted to kiss me.
I felt it in my bones.
Even more surprising, I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to feel his mouth on mine, feel his lip piercing cool against my skin. I’d only ever kissed Jenson and two other boys before. We’d been young and inexperienced and clumsy; all tongues and teeth and giggles as we tried to figure out a natural rhythm. But something told me kissing Rafe would be the total opposite.
“What is it about you, Eva?” His voice drifted over me like a blanket, soft and warm and comforting, as he plucked one of my blonde curls between his fingers. Our faces were closer now. Just another fraction and our lips would be—