by Kat Smith
“Wasn’t my place.” Lena lifted her chin, determined to finish her lecture. “When you got back six months later, you crawled into a hole. You’ve been living like a hermit since you got back from Sierra Leone.”
“No, I haven’t.”
She reached over and grasped Devan’s hand. “For the last year, we’ve tried to get you to come out for drinks, and never, not once have you gone out with us. Alex shows up and gets you out with a flutter of her lashes. You still love her, and I’ll bet my oversized ass that she still loves you, too.”
Devan’s head popped up. “She doesn’t. That’s ridiculous.”
Lena rolled her eyes in surrender. “Subtext, Cappy. Sweet Jesus, pay the fuck attention.”
The ring of Devan’s cellphone stirred her from a restless sleep. She ignored it and let it go to voicemail, but seconds later, it rang again. She rolled over and glanced at the clock; the red glowing numbers read 0130. Now she was just pissed and snapped up the phone. “This better be fucking important.”
“Captain, this is Director Cardina. I’m terribly sorry to bother you at this late hour.”
She leaned over and clicked on the lamp. “My apologies, Director.” She silently cursed herself. “What can I do for you?”
I’m hoping you can help me.” Her voice was full of angst. “I’m trying to locate Alex.”
“Why would you think…” Devan scrubbed her face. “What’s wrong?”
“A co-worker of hers was in an accident earlier this evening.”
She walked to the bathroom. “Yes, I know.” She flipped on the light.
“Oh, so you’ve talked to her?” Payton’s voice pitched in question.
“Earlier, yes. Around 1800 hours, we went for drinks, and she got a call from someone about the accident and left to meet you.”
“I see.” Payton’s voice cracked. “Well, tragically, she died about 2100 hours, and Alex…they were close…she took it very hard. I’ve been unable to locate her since. I thought maybe you might know where…”
Devan punched a button and sent the call to speaker. “Where have you looked?” She tossed the phone on the bed and tugged on a pair of faded jeans.
“At work, her apartment, a couple of bars that she frequents. I was hoping she might have come to you.”
Dressed, Devan grabbed her keys off the surfboard coffee table and rushed out the door. “I know a couple of places she might be.” She climbed into the Jeep and started the engine. “I’ll give you a call as soon as I know something.” Devan thought she heard a sniff on the other end of the line.
“Thank you, Captain. I truly appreciate it.”
Devan returned to the Double Tap and went inside to find the green-haired waitress. The bar was almost empty, and she found Gretchen sitting at the bar sipping on a beer and smoking a cigarette. She rushed over. “Hey, did Alex come back to the bar after we left tonight?”
Gretchen eyed her like an adversary. “Maybe.”
Devan wasn’t in the mood for the woman’s pettiness. “Have you seen her or not?”
Gretchen chomped on a wad of gum and shrugged. “Yeah, she was here ’bout two hours ago. I bought her a couple of beers…she was upset.” She swiveled on the barstool. “Harry’ll kick your ass if you upset her. He has a sweet spot for redheads.”
Devan turned and rushed out of the bar and headed to the last place she could think of to look.
Devan slipped her Jeep into the slot next to Alex’s car under a bright security light and killed the engine. The UMD parking lot was deserted this time of night. Devan got out of the Jeep, walked over, and placed her hand on the hood of Alex’s car and noted that it was still warm. She tried the steel service door, but it was locked. As she looked for another entry point, a bright light washed over her. She turned to see a security guard silently approaching in a souped-up golf cart.
She estimated him to be somewhere in his mid-sixties and around six-three. The small cart tilted to one side under his weight, but Devan noted he was in excellent condition. The muscles in his arms threatened to burst the sleeves of his shirt. The emblem over the left pocket indicated he was a security guard for the University of Maryland. A retired athlete, she thought, reliving his glory days during the long cold nights guarding the darkened vacant buildings that spread across the massive campus.
He eyed her with suspicion while keeping the beam of the flashlight pointed in her eyes. “The track is closed for the night.”
Devan raised a hand to shield her eyes from the beam. “Officer, I’m looking for someone that runs here at night. Her name is Alex Sheridan.”
He lowered the light from her face and stepped out of the cart, more to stretch his legs than to intimidate, but she didn’t have to know that. “And who might you be?”
The old bloke was trying her patience. “She has permission to run here at night. There’s been…” It was none of his fucking business. “Her boss asked me to locate her.”
“Yep, I know her boss. Tough broad.” He took a step closer. “And if I called her to ask if she knows you, what do you think she’d tell me?”
God, she hated the retired old men from the military or police force, those who no longer had any power. The only way they could feel important was to talk smack and harass innocent people. “Director Cardina would tell you to let me in the goddamned door. That’s what she’d tell you.”
He ambled over to the security door and fumbled with a large ring of keys. “She’s like a gazelle if you ask me. Been running the track hard tonight.” It took him three tries before he found the correct key and wrestled the door open.
When the door cracked open, Devan dashed through before he could change his mind. “Thanks, Pops.” It was petty, she knew it, but the only way she could put him in his place.
Devan stood in the bleachers overlooking the track and searched the expanse of the oval field. She spotted Alex on the second turn, jumped the railing, and jogged across the inner soccer field to meet her midway down the backstretch.
Alex caught movement to her left and slowed to a stop as Devan ran toward her. The grief she’d been holding inside flashed, and tears swam in her eyes, blurring her vision.
Devan reached Alex and instinctively wrapped her arms around her in a tight embrace. “Alex, I am so sorry.”
Alex hiccupped on sobs when she spoke. “How…did…you…find… me?” Exhausted from sorrow, anger, and running, she slumped against Devan’s firm body and sobbed until her legs gave away.
Devan eased her down onto the track. “It’s okay, baby. I gotcha.” Devan had no idea what to do, so she simply held on to Alex and let her cry. “I’m here. You’re okay. Let it out, baby, I gotcha.”
She wasn’t sure how long they sat in the middle of the track, and she didn’t care. As long as Alex held on to her, she would, too. They didn’t speak, didn’t need to, Devan just held on and rocked Alex as she sobbed.
Long minutes later, Alex slowly raised her head and swiped her nose with the back of her hand. “Sorry. You must think I’m an idiot.”
“Not at all.” Devan tucked a tuft of Alex’s hair behind her ear and tipped her chin up. “You shouldn’t be out here all alone this late.” She wiped a tear from Alex’s face. “You could have called me.”
Alex leaned closer, brushed her lips across Devan’s like a whisper. When Devan didn’t push her away, she circled Devan’s neck with her hand and pulled her closer still. The kiss was tender, familiar, then built into a thirsty hunger. Alex could feel the raging pulse in Devan’s neck, felt the warmth as it spread through both of them. She tugged at Devan’s shirt yearning to wrench it open and feel the warm skin beneath.
The flash Devan felt was almost painful. She didn’t realize how much she’d missed the taste, the feel of Alex until that very moment. There was a war raging inside her. A side that ached for Alex, but another that knew this wasn’t the time or place. She knew Alex wasn’t thinking clearly, knew it was only a visceral response from losing a friend. It was a m
oment, a weak moment of pain and loss.
She’d experienced those and knew too well the regret that usually followed in the morning light. She broke the kiss, pulled back, and looked into Alex’s eyes. “Alex.” It was a breathless whisper born from caution and desire.
Alex’s senses returned, as well, and she looked away embarrassed. “Sorry. I-I’m…”
Devan tipped Alex’s chin up. “It’s okay.” She was unsteady as she pulled herself up. She held out a hand to help Alex to her feet.
“How did you find me?” Alex wiped the tears from her face.
“You told me about the track, said you liked to come here to think. I gave it a shot.”
Neither seemed to notice when the automatic sprinkler heads popped up through the grass and filled the air with a heavy mist. Devan pulled Alex close, wrapped an arm around her waist, and led them across the soccer field.
Alex’s arm circled Devan’s waist as they walked through the artificial rain. “Thank you.”
Devan contemplated how comfortable Alex felt tucked into her arm as they walked. It made her ache for what they once had. “Come on. Let’s get you home and into some dry clothes.”
Silence engulfed the Jeep as Devan drove through the deserted streets. Streetlights washed over Alex’s face as she stared out the window. Devan didn’t know what to say, so she simply reached over and closed Alex’s hand into hers.
When they arrived at the renovated Victorian house, Alex was lost in thought and made no effort to move. Devan spoke quietly. “Alex, we’re home.” When Alex didn’t respond, Devan got out, rounded the car, and opened the passenger door. She leaned in to release the seat belt and gently grasped Alex’s arm. “Come on, let’s get you inside.”
When Devan led Alex up the porch steps and to the door, she patted Alex’s pockets until she found the keys, gingerly retrieved them, and unlocked the door. Alex was in a daze, and Devan knew the shock was taking hold.
She’d seen it a hundred times in the field. Massive men sitting like zombies on the battlefield, shell-shocked from the percussion of the falling shells. Shock could take the best of men and women to their knees in seconds. The only thing Devan could do was get Alex into a warm shower, get something warm in her stomach, and let her rest.
Devan led Alex through the house and into the bathroom. She pressed her down to sit on the toilet, then knelt beside her. “You need a hot shower, or you’ll get sick. I’ll make us some hot tea, okay?” She placed a towel on the sink and made sure Alex’s robe was on the hook behind the door, then closed the door behind her.
She stood outside listening for a few moments but didn’t hear Alex stir. She tapped lightly on the door and opened it enough to see Alex remained sitting in her wet clothes. She turned on the shower and knelt beside Alex. “You have to get out of these clothes.”
When Alex didn’t respond, Devan carefully peeled away the wet clothing and gently led Alex into the shower. The hard spray of the warm water shook Alex out of the gripping paralysis. She blinked twice, then looked at Devan in confusion and embarrassment.
Devan handed Alex a washcloth. “Are you okay here?”
Alex turned slightly away and nodded. “Um, yeah.”
“Okay then.” She closed the shower door. “Give me a shout if you need anything. I’ll make us some tea.”
Devan walked into the den and dropped to the sofa, then remembered her wet clothes and quickly hoisted herself up. She found a towel in the guest bathroom and dried off her hair, then rummaged through the guest closet until she found an old pair of track pants and a T-shirt.
She was in the kitchen studying the various tins of tea in the cupboard when her cellphone rang. “Hello?”
Payton’s voice was filled with concern. “Devan? It’s Director Cardina.”
“Director, I was just about to call.”
“You found her?”
“Yes.” Devan gave up on making tea and pulled a bottle of brandy from the cupboard. “At the UMD track.”
The relief in her voice was palpable. “Thank God. We were frantic.”
Devan returned to the den and dropped to the sofa exhausted. “She’s taking a shower. I’ll let her know you called.”
“Thank you. Please let her know that I want her to stay home tomorrow, and I’ll call her in the afternoon.”
Devan looked over her shoulder. “I don’t mean to be insensitive, but considering what’s happened, she’s justifiably upset. I’m not sure if emotionally she’ll be ready for a mission.”
A formality returned to Payton’s voice. “We’ll take your concern under advisement, Captain.”
“Yes, of course, Director.” She silently cursed herself for her bad timing. Now was not the time to discuss the facets of an operation.
“Thank you again, Captain. Good night.”
“Good night, Director.”
Devan started when Alex spoke. “Are you still trying to get me booted off the team?”
She looked up to see Alex standing in the doorway, her hair darkened by the dampness to the hue of a fine merlot. “No, I’m not, but you had me worried just now.”
The color was back in Alex’s face, as well as her quick-fire anger. “About what? My mental status?”
Devan wasn’t sure if the red blush on Alex’s face was from the hot shower or her hot temper. “You’re upset and rightly so.” Devan stepped forward. “Let’s not argue.” She took Alex’s arm and pulled her toward the sofa. “Sit.”
Even through the haze of shock, Alex could appreciate Devan’s small firm ass. “I see you found some dry clothes.”
Devan called on the way to the kitchen, “I remembered you keep the scruffy clothes in the guest closet.” She returned with two snifters of brandy. “I love the grungy clothes.”
Alex took the offered drink. “Yeah, I never could dress you up.”
Jacob watched the rearview mirror as headlights grew brighter and closer. He turned into the first gas station he reached, pulled into a space on the far side of the parking lot and waited until the other car passed. Sweat trickled down his neck even in the cool weather. He’d burnt up half a tank of gas driving around Moscow turning, winding, backtracking.
Once he was certain no one was tailing him, he’d taken the Leningradskoye Highway north to Novgorod and spent the night in a cheap motel rented by the hour to the local prostitutes. The next day, he drove to Kaluga, south of Moscow, and spent another night in another cheap motel swarming with roaches the size of small mice.
When he had been convinced that no one was on his trail, he’d set out for his destination some eighteen hundred kilometers south. He hadn’t spotted anyone suspicious, but something in his gut kept churning. He’d learned over the years to pay attention to that unsettling feeling that nagged at him.
He checked the time on his wristwatch, then slowly pulled back onto the road. He’d been driving for almost eighteen hours. He needed to stop and get some rest but knew the longer it took him to get to Makhachkala, the longer he would be stuck in the god-awful country. He decided to drive for another hour, keep a careful watch on the vehicles around him, then pull off the road for a short nap.
The brandy had done the trick, and Alex had fallen asleep on the sofa. A thick wave of heat pulsed through Devan as she thought about the kiss they’d shared earlier. It would have been easy for her to let it linger, take advantage of Alex’s unspoken plea to push the pain away. Although she also knew if she had, they would never have a chance at a future. Whether that future was as friends or maybe something more was left to be discovered, but she knew after what had happened between them earlier that morning, she wanted to find out.
Alex’s eyes fluttered open. “Hey.”
Devan returned the smile. “Good morning.”
“I fell asleep.” Alex yawned and stretched.
Devan tucked the duvet over Alex’s bare foot. “You did. Do you want another drink?”
“No, thanks.” She stretched her long legs out and into Devan’s
lap. “What time is it?”
“About 0430.” Devan instinctively began to massage Alex’s feet, something she’d done hundreds of times before. “Why don’t you go to bed?”
Alex propped her head on the back of the sofa cushion. “Can’t. I have to go to work in a couple of hours.”
Devan hit a spot that always made Alex moan. “The director gave you the day off.”
“God, I’ve missed that.” When she realized she’d said it aloud, she tensed, but Devan didn’t seem to notice or pretended not to. “When did you talk to her?”
“Last night. While you were in the shower.” Devan reached for her cellphone when it rang. “That’s probably her now. I think she has spies everywhere.” She answered. “Hello?”
The colonel’s voice was crisp. “Captain? Sorry for waking you.”
Devan wondered if the woman ever slept. “Yes, ma’am, I mean, no, ma’am, you didn’t.”
“You found Alex. How is she?”
“Yes. She’s fine. I’m trying to get her into bed. I mean, trying to get her to go to bed, to sleep, ma’am.” Devan caught a glimpse of the smirk on Alex’s face and dug a thumb into the arch of her foot.
Alex pulled her foot away. “Ow.”
Mara’s tone was clipped. “I see. You’re still with her then?”
Devan felt the flush in her face. “Yes. I’m still here with Alex.”
“Have you slept?”
Dear God, how the hell should she answer that question, Devan thought. “I’m fine. I’ll be in soon.”
“No, stay. In case she needs you…someone.”
“She’s fine, Colonel.” Devan got up and walked into the kitchen. She needed to escape the distraction of Alex.
Mara’s tone was matter-of-fact and left no room for debate. “Captain, Alex’s co-worker was murdered. All evidence leads to the opinion that it was a targeted kill.”
Devan’s hand froze in midair. “Excuse me?” Trepidation broke through the tough armor of Devan’s resolve.
“They were working on a classified project. While there is no current evidence to connect this incident to that project, until she has more information, the director doesn’t want to take any chances, and I agree. You’re the obvious choice to stay with her, Captain. Keep her safe.”