by Stacy-Deanne
“I don’t fight for men.”
“Is Hugh worth it?”
“How is it gonna look for me to make a play for him after I’ve been pushing him away all this time?”
“It’ll look honest and like you care.” Ashleigh crossed her arms with command.
“Ugh.” Gabrielle rolled her eyes. “Now I feel like the bad guy in this. Got any advice?”
“Yeah, stop overthinking this and go for it. Just give in to passion once and for all.”
“He’s gonna check out a location tomorrow for the film. I think he’s going alone.” Gabrielle chewed her thumb. “Maybe I could show up...looking so irresistible that he couldn’t say no to me coming along.”
Ashleigh nodded, pointing. “Now you’re talking.”
****
The Next Evening
“It’s so beautiful out here.” Gabrielle became lost in the grassy plains and valleys of the secluded Carpentaria Bluffs Nature Preserve located an hour outside Los Angeles. “The smell.” She inhaled the fresh air sprinkled with a hint of grass and weeds. “Why can’t L.A. smell like this?”
Hugh took another photo of the Santa Ynez Mountains from his phone. “This is one of my favorite places in the world.” He checked out the picture. “Sometimes I drive out here when I wanna be alone.”
“Really?” Gabrielle held her hair away from her face as a cool breeze swept by. “You do that often?”
“Not enough these days.” He took another picture, impressing her by how professional he remained. “You wanna come clean and tell me why you came out here with me today?”
“I told you. This movie stuff is interesting.” She held her hand to her face, blocking the glare of the sun. “If people knew how hard you worked they’d be more appreciative.”
He put on his shades. “People like Felix Craft? I doubt it.”
“Felix can’t wait to see Fatal Honor. That should excite you.”
“The movie hasn’t even been filmed yet.” He sat in the grass. “Wait until it’s out and he murders the whole thing.”
“Be positive.” She sat beside him, grunting. “Anyway, why do you care what Felix thinks? You’re a great director and you put your all in everything you do.”
He tore off a blade of grass.
“Seeing how hard you work up close has surprised me.” She turned from his gaze. “Makes me see you in a whole other light.”
“Why?”
She leaned back, planting her hands in the grass. “Seems like when you’re doing your films, it’s the only time you let your guard down and let people see the man behind the persona.”
“I’ve always seen myself as two people.” He propped up his knees. “HuMac the famous director and then just plain old Hugh.”
“I’m the same way.” Gabrielle pulled on the laces of her white Keds. “Guess we hang on to our true selves by separating from the persona.”
“Hm.” He twirled the grass between his fingers.
“How come you stopped acting? When Barbara Walters interviewed you, you said you did a little acting before directing.”
He snickered. “I sucked. That’s why I stopped. I have the looks but not the chops. Some people belong behind the camera and some in front.” He watched her through his shades. “You belong in front of it. You ever thought about acting before this?”
“Never. Hollywood is too much of a rat race and I have enough of that with modeling. Look at what Sierra is going through. I hate the way they treat you in the industry when you’re not the cat’s meow anymore. It’s like you’re not even a person but something to mock.”
“Entertainment industries exist to make money.” He pushed his shades to the top of his head. “It’s that simple. Fallen stars bring in more publicity dollars for the media than when the person is doing well.”
“It’s disgusting how Hollywood tries to make money off every aspect of a person’s life. No wonder many stars end up drunk or on drugs.”
“That’s how it is, Gabby.”
“What about the damage people go through when they aren’t the big thing anymore?” She played with grass. “No one stays on top forever.”
“That’s right.” Hugh stuck his finger in the air. “That’s why when we have opportunities we need to be smart and appreciate them. Sierra took things for granted.”
“She can’t help she’s an alcoholic.”
“She had the world at her feet and...” He sighed. “I don’t wanna talk about Sierra.”
“We can’t act as if she doesn’t exist. You were right yesterday. We can’t keep going around in circles.”
“We wouldn’t have to if you’d admit we belong together.” He threw grass. “Why are you so afraid of making that step? It’s not just because of my reputation. Someone hurt you, didn’t he? Was it that guy you mentioned before?”
“Same old story.” She stared at the grayish-blue outline of the distant mountains. “I thought he was the one, but he couldn’t keep his hands off other women.”
“When was this?”
“About three years ago. I’ve never had a serious relationship since.”
“In three years?” He scratched behind his earring. “Who was this guy?”
“He isn’t in the industry or anything.”
“He lives in L.A.?”
She nodded.
“So, he cheated on you and you sympathize with Sierra so that’s why you’re dragging your feet with me? I can buy that, but it doesn’t explain why you haven’t had a serious relationship in three years. Something else had to happen.”
She glanced at her watch. “Wanna get something to eat? We’ve been out here a while.”
“Gabby.” He touched her wrist. “What happened?”
“I gave him everything I had. I was so gone over him I couldn’t see straight. He was my universe. I put so much into the relationship. Long story short, I got pregnant.”
“Pregnant?”
“I was so happy because in my mind we’d get married and live happily ever after.” A shaky smile covered her mouth. “Turns out he wasn’t as serious as I was and when I told him about the baby, he dumped me.” Her eyes tickled from the start of tears. “He said he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby.”
“Gabby.” Hugh put his arm around her. “I’m sorry.”
“I’d never been hurt like that by a man before.” She exhaled. “On top of that, it threatened by career. Since I made a name being a role model for young girls, Futero wasn’t too thrilled that I got pregnant out of wedlock and gave me an option. Either I handle the situation or they’d drop me.”
“I got rid of my baby.”
He loosened his hold on her. “Gabby—”
“It was the biggest mistake of my life, Hugh. I loved being with Futero, but I wanted that baby. I wanted it so much. Every day I feel guilty for that decision.”
“You made the best choice for you.”
“I was selfish.” She wiped tears. “I could’ve kept it and raised it on my own. It’s not as if I didn’t have the money, but I chose my career over my baby. Who does that?” She poked her chest. “What kind of person am I, Hugh? Huh?”
“Sh.” He hugged her. “You’re a wonderful person.”
“When he left, Futero was all I had.” She shuttered in his arms. “I’ll regret the choice I made but I was so desperate to keep all I’d worked for.”
“What kind of man leaves a woman who’s having his baby? I’d never, ever do something like that.”
“After the abortion, he had the nerve to send me a card saying he was sorry for what I had to go through.” Gabrielle’s damp lips trembled. “He didn’t even have the respect to come see me after everything. He just walked off as if he wasn’t ever involved. That’s when I knew he never loved me.”
“Whoever he is, is a fool. I hope everyday he regrets how he treated you.”
“It’s been three years.” She moved from him, wiping her eyes. “And I haven’t forgiven myself.”
�
�Things happen for a reason. You weren’t meant to have the baby.”
“But, I wanted it, Hugh. That’s what’s so hard. If I didn’t want it, doing what I did would’ve been easier but—”
“You did what you had to do.” He held her face still and stared into her eyes. “You’d be surprised how many actresses, models, and female athletes have done the same thing. It’s sad that women have to make such a choice just to keep their careers. You’re a good person, Gabrielle. You would’ve been a wonderful mother.”
“Are you shocked?”
“I’m glad you told me something so personal.”
“I’ve hidden it from the media. If this gets out, it could ruin me. People are so judgmental.”
“I wouldn’t tell a soul.” He kissed her hand. “I’m glad you let me in. Why did you?”
“I guess it was important for me to show you I wasn’t perfect.” She sniffled. “To see if it would change how you feel about me. Does it?”
“Yes.” He stroked her cheek. “I’m even more attracted than I was before.”
She smiled.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
“Whoa.” With a glass of iced tea in her hand, Sierra jerked as thunder boomed, shaking the chandelier above her head. “God.” She sat back on the soft sofa in the living room, waiting for Dash to get to his ranch. “I gotta be honest,” she spoke to her glass. “I wish you were a shot of whiskey right now.”
Beckett hurried inside. “You all right?”
“Oh!” Sierra spilled tea on her jeans.
“I’m sorry.” He tilted his cowboy hat forward, hiding his eyes. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
“Don’t worry about it.” She set the glass on the table and wrung out her hands.
“Let me get you a towel.”
“It’s okay.” She got a handkerchief from her purse. “I got it.”
“I’m such an idiot.” He positioned his foot halfway off the floor where the toe of his scuffed cowboy boot pointed to the ceiling. “Sneaking up on you in this weather.”
She faked a smile, him making her more on edge than the thunder. “Did you need something?”
He grinned. “I came to ask you that.”
“What’s taking Dash so long?” She ran her hands through her hair. “Said he’d be here by five thirty and it’s almost seven.”
“Probably got held up by the weather.” He sat beside her, too close. “Not sure it was smart for you to come out here with all this going on.”
She jumped at another roar of thunder.
“You’re afraid of bad weather, huh?” He rubbed his calloused hands. “I don’t like storms if they get dangerous, but I like rain. I’d run to the window and watch the rain when I was a kid.” He chuckled. “It brings back memories.”
“I’m the total opposite. Was always afraid of rain. Thunder scares me to death.”
The lights flickered.
Beckett glanced at the chandelier. “It’s always nice to see you. How’s the movie career going?” His small Adam’s apple bobbed. “Got anything new lined up?”
“Beckett.” She watched him under her eyelashes. “I’m sure you keep up with the media. I’ve been blacklisted.”
“I was hoping your luck had turned around.” He put his arm on the back of the couch, behind her.
She kept watch of his hand.
“Hollywood’s full of idiots. How can someone not cast you with how brilliant you are? I love all your movies. I watch them over, and over, and over.”
“That’s sweet. Seems like these days I could use more fans like you.”
“You’ll always have me.” He clenched her knee.
She jerked her leg away.
“I’m sorry.” He took his arm off the back of the couch and sat erect. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“It’s okay,” she lied.
He tossed a crazed gaze her way. “It’s a dream come true being able to spend time with you. I’ve always wanted to get inside your head and ask about your movies. Do you still enjoy acting as much as when you first started?”
“Um...”
Dash walked into the den, stuffing his phone in his pocket. “Sorry, I’m late.”
Thank God.
“I told her it was probably traffic.” Beckett stood, rubbing the thighs of his jeans. “Did you get caught in the weather?”
“It’s not raining yet.” Dash walked off the entrance steps. “But, judging by the thunder and lightning it’s a matter of time. Beckett, why don’t you gather supplies from the storage room in case the electricity goes out?”
“You think it’ll get that bad?” Sierra asked.
“Never know,” Dash said. “This place is creepy as hell with no lights. Beckett?”
“Right away, Dash.” He smiled at Sierra. “Always a pleasure, Sierra.”
She gave a lazy wave. “Bye.”
Dash’s burgundy shirt brought out the richness in his dynamic eyes. “What’s going on?” He sat beside her, his gray slacks wrinkled in the thighs. “I was shocked to get your voice mail about meeting.”
She took a long sip from her tea and set it on the table. “I wanted a drink. I still do.”
“Did you drink?”
She shook her head. “I called you instead.”
“You called me over your sponsor or therapist?”
She nodded.
“It means a lot you’d call me. You’ve come too far to jeopardize your sobriety.”
“My therapist says wanting to drink is not what’s important. It’s why. I tried to figure out the ‘why’ today. Why today?”
“You had a weak moment with the shit you’ve got going on.”
“Nothing has hurt me as much as Dad. I keep thinking about how cold he was at his party.”
“You said you’d let that go so you need to. It’s doing nothing but making you feel worse. You can’t keep putting yourself out there and Ian doing nothing. If he wants a relationship with you he needs to make an effort.”
“You don’t understand Italian men.” She got her glass. “Some have more pride than sense. Dad will fight me to the end so he won’t have to give in.”
“Then fuck him. You’ve gotta look out for yourself first.”
“I wish I didn’t love him so much. If I didn’t it wouldn’t be so hard to walk away. Thanks for listening, Dash. There’s no one I’d rather talk to about this than you.”
“What about Hugh?”
She pushed her lips out to the side. “He’s scouting a location or something.” She cursed herself for crying, but the tears came regardless.
Dash handed her a tissue from his pocket.
“Thanks.” She held it to her mouth. “I don’t like going to Hugh all the time because I feel like I’m bothering him.”
“He’s your boyfriend. That’s what his ass is there for.”
“He’s so wrapped up in the film, and I don’t wanna burden him with my little problems.”
“They’re not little to you.”
Another patch of thunder sounded, causing Sierra to scoot closer to Dash.
“You’re the only one I can come to. I have no right to put you in this position, but I’m so desperate right now.”
He wrapped his arm around her. “It’s okay.”
She settled in his protective embrace. “You’re the only one who’s always been there for me.”
“No matter what happens between us, I’ll always be there.” His peppermint breath warmed her face. “Always.”
“I hate this.” She let him go. “I hate all this crying. It’s all I ever do. Sit around crying like a big baby.”
“It’s good to cry, but you’re here now.” He smiled. “We can get smiles in there too. I’m glad you came because Adeline’s missed you.”
Sierra smiled through tears. “I miss her too. She was always my favorite of your horses. I miss riding her.”
“She had her baby last week.”
“What?” She covered her mouth, squ
ealing. “Adeline had a baby? I didn’t even know she was pregnant.”
“A beautiful little filly. You want to see her?”
“Course I want to.” She jumped to her feet. “Let’s go!”
CHAPTER THIRTY
When Sierra and Dash got to Adeline’s stable, the beige horse with the blond mane neighed at Sierra.
“See, Sierra?” Dash entered the stable first, the compartment smelled of sweet hay and fresh manure. “She missed you too.”
Adeline wiggled her head back and forth as if to beckon Sierra to come closer.
“Hey, sweetie.” Sierra hugged her, running her fingers through the silky mane. “Hi, there. I missed you too.”
Adeline nudged Sierra’s cheek as if to kiss her.
“You kissed me, huh?” Sierra kissed her back. “I needed that. I love you.”
A loud rumble sounded.
Sierra laughed. “Is that your stomach growling, Adeline?”
“No, that would be this little cutie right here.” Dash pointed to the hefty, brown filly resting behind her mama.
“Oh!” Sierra dove on her knees beside her. “Precious.”
The baby horse neighed again, her big, wet eyes gazing at Sierra.
“She’s shy.” Dash knelt. “But, she must like you because she was here for three days before she acknowledged me. Maybe she likes pretty girls.”
“You’re so little.” Sierra caressed the filly’s soft ears. “I wanna take you home and keep you for the rest of my life.” She rubbed her nose against the baby’s musty fur. “What’s her name?”
“Tipsy.” Dash chuckled. “I named her that because she kept falling over after Adeline had her.”
“I love you, Tipsy.” Sierra kissed the baby again. “Can I have her?”
“No.”
“Aw.” She grinned. “Seeing this, I understand why you’re thinking about moving out here.”
“It’s so peaceful.” He picked up hay and fed Adeline. “I might still be alone but the difference is out here I enjoy it much more.”
“I’d move out here in a minute.” Sierra stroked Tipsy’s back. “A place like this is what I need.”
“You can come here any time.” Dash knelt next to her. “You brighten my day. I miss the times we’ve shared so much.”