by Gemma Rogers
We didn’t talk much on the way to the pub, only to comment on the weather. This time he took me to The Greyhound, which overlooked a large pond. It was picturesque, or would have been in summer when you could sit outside and admire the view. Inside, there was no log fire, but we found a quiet corner to sit in and Dan got us drinks. Half a lager for him, a cider for me.
‘I am sorry for my reaction yesterday. I was surprised and appalled obviously.’
‘And you jumped to conclusions,’ I said.
‘Yes, I jumped to conclusions.’
‘I’m sorry you had to find out like that. If it were up to me, you would never have known.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘How could I? Dan, he blackmailed me, not just me, all of us. I’m sure Barry’s got something to do with it. He’s dodgy as fuck.’ The words spilled out and I took a mouthful of my cider, to stop talking. The amber liquid warming my throat.
‘Yeah I don’t much like him. I’m so sorry about my brother. I had no idea he’s such a… such a…’ he faltered.
‘Depraved sexual deviant?’ I tried to make light of the situation, but Dan’s sombre face didn’t change. I couldn’t blame him; it wasn’t a laughing matter. How would I feel if Helen had been unearthed as a paedo or something? ‘I don’t know why you called the police though?’
‘Because he should be held accountable, if he’s done those things, he should pay for them.’ Dan gulped his drink, his knuckles white on the glass.
‘What do you mean “if”?’ My hackles up.
Dan shook his head, backtracking.
I waved him away, downing the rest of my drink. I had to calm down, I felt like a fuse about to blow.
‘Anyway, he’s not here. All the police are going to do is drag your workforce through the mill, having to explain in detail how they were sexually assaulted by their boss.’
Dan sighed and hung his head in his hands.
I stood to go to the bar to get us more drinks. Dan was scrolling through his phone when I returned, but he put it away when I joined him, carrying on where we left off.
‘I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing. For all I know, it could have something to do with his disappearance.’
‘How do you mean?’ I narrowed my eyes.
‘Well, if he’s into that, he might be mixed up with all sorts of weirdos.’ Dan took my hand across the table, his touch warm and inviting. I slid my fingers along his. ‘Your hair looks nice by the way.’
I was surprised he’d noticed.
‘It desperately needed a cut,’ I admitted.
‘Do you want anything to eat? I’m kind of hungry.’ He picked up the menu and leafed through it.
‘Sure, I’m hungry too. We could get a takeaway and go back to yours?’ I suggested, wanting to get out of the pub. No longer wanting to talk about Terry. What was done was done, there was little point in holding on to my anger. I wanted things back to the way they were. With Dan I felt happy and safe, he was a good man and besides no one was perfect.
‘Why not yours?’ Dan quizzed, smiling.
‘Because you’ve got a bigger bed,’ I replied, aware my face had turned crimson.
‘Sold.’ Dan knocked back his drink in one go and waited for me to finish mine.
On the way back to the car, he wrapped his arm around me, and I leant into his side, glad he was no longer interested in talking about Terry. Once inside his car, though, Dan turned on the engine and pulled away before glancing at me.
‘Who do you think sent the photo to me? I mean, it was in an envelope on my desk, with my name written on, it didn’t come through the post.’
Something niggled at me, something from earlier that hadn’t sat right at the time, but there was so much going on I missed it. The photo. When I told Karla the photo had been sent to Dan, she didn’t ask which one. She didn’t ask if it was the one where Terry was alive or where he was already dead in the doorway of his office. I’d been sent both, had both put through my door. She didn’t ask, because she already knew. What the hell was she up to? Did it have something to do with her face today or the money? Could she be being blackmailed? I had to find out what Karla had got herself into before she exposed us both.
40
Hours later, I lay beside Dan staring at the ceiling unable to sleep. He shuffled and rolled over, eyelids fluttering amidst a dream. We’d ordered a Chinese takeaway and opened a bottle of wine before falling into bed. Avoiding the topic of Terry’s disappearance, I managed to forget, for a couple of hours at least, what tomorrow would bring.
Watching him sleep sent a rush of guilt through me. I loved spending time with him, his touch tonight was tender, like I was so fragile I might break. I was glad I’d waited. Sex with Dan was infinitely better than any fumble at seventeen with someone my own age. He was older, more experienced, and I felt like an adult.
I worried I was falling for him, unsure how that could ever work after what I’d done to Terry. To have that bigger secret would be like a chasm between us.
He rolled over onto his back, jolting me from my thoughts. I watched the rise and fall of his chest, the dip in the centre and the curve of the muscles. Resisting the urge to stroke him, I rolled away. I needed to think clearly.
If Karla had sent the photos and put Terry’s ring in my locker, I had to find out why. Was she planning to frame me for his disappearance? It didn’t make any sense when she helped me get rid of his body. Any evidence that implicated me, surely implicated her too. Was she trying to scare me, push me to make a mistake? Had she got herself mixed up in something that was out of her league – stupid when she was so close to being free.
Questions swirled around my head with no logical answers to satisfy them. I slid my phone off the bedside table and sent a text to Ashley, asking how she was. I’d ring her tomorrow, perhaps she’d know what to do. All I could focus on was giving my statement to the police and making sure I stuck to my story. I wasn’t sure what they could do, even if we all told the truth about Terry. They could hardly bring a dead man to justice, could they?
I managed a few hours before being rudely woken by Dan’s shrill alarm. I jumped out of bed to use the bathroom, nervous energy already making my stomach cramp. When I came back, Dan was stretching, his skin taut over the muscles in his torso. I briefly considering climbing back in.
‘Where are you rushing off to?’ Dan asked as I pulled on my jeans.
‘Home, I need to have a shower and get ready.’
‘You okay?’ Dan said, rubbing sleep out of his eyes and propping himself up.
‘Yeah fine, I’m just nervous about the police interview.’
He narrowed his eyes. ‘What do you have to be nervous about?’ Did he suspect something?
‘I guess you’ve never had to explain a sexual assault to a complete stranger. It’s not exactly going to be pleasant!’ I snapped.
‘Sorry, sorry. Wasn’t thinking.’
I slipped on my trainers, legs buckling. I needed some air.
‘I’ll catch you later,’ I said, grabbing my bag and slinging it over my shoulder.
Outside was crisp and bracing, the sun ebbing higher, full of promise, but it wouldn’t be warm. It would be another cold February day ahead, although the shoots of daffodils were coming up on the grass verges. The assurance that spring and warmer weather was to come.
When I reached home, having caught a passing bus which took me halfway, it was already eight. I was pleased to see the bedsit untouched, having pictured all the way home what I would find.
I wasn’t inside long, a quick shower, slice of toast and a touch of mascara before heading back out the door.
My pocket buzzed and I fished out my phone as I walked to work, I wanted the fresh air, needing the vitamin D. Ashley’s name flashed up on the screen, she was up early.
‘Hiya,’ she said when I answered.
‘Hi, how are you?’
‘Good thanks, been up half the night finishing this essay
, I must have rewritten the bloody thing about five times, so I’m knackered.’ She yawned. ‘What about you?’
‘I’ve got so much to tell you.’
‘Did everything go all right with Dan? I’ve been waiting for you to ring me with the goss!’ That wasn’t what I’d meant, but I realised popping my cherry had been overshadowed by the photos and the police visit. I hadn’t even got around to telling Ashley about it.
‘It was amazing, we had dinner, wine, he was gentle. It was perfect,’ I reminisced.
‘Ah, I’m glad. Told you. He sounds like a keeper,’ Ashley said, but my head was all over the place. Making the transition to Dan’s girlfriend was the last thing on my mind.
‘Listen, you know the girl I mentioned, Karla, you said you didn’t know her.’
‘Yeah.’
‘Well, I think she knows us from old. Karla Grant…’ I waited.
‘Yeah, I remember you saying, but no, I don’t remember her,’ Ashley said.
‘Well she knows – sorry knew Eddie. She commented on his memorial event.’
‘That’s weird, hang on, let me look.’ I heard some background noise, Ashley humming as I imagined her scrolling through the long list of people who’d commented. ‘Shit!’
‘What?’
‘I can’t believe I didn’t make the connection before. Karla Grant?’
‘Yeah.’ My mouth dried up, throat clogging as I waited for Ashley to continue.
‘I only knew her as K. It’s what everyone called her, I thought her name was Kai or Kay or something. I didn’t know her surname.’
‘Ash, who is she?’
‘She’s Eddie’s sister.’
I could hear the blood thudding in my ears as a boy on a skateboard whizzed past me and I dropped the phone, it clattered to the pavement.
‘Shit,’ I mumbled, scooping it up and checking the screen.
‘Jess, Jess, you still there?’
‘How is she Eddie’s sister? I mean, I’m not being funny, but Eddie was white, pale as me. Karla is mixed race.’
‘You don’t remember, do you? We used to call the house Barnardo’s, there were about ten kids living there, they used to foster. Eddie and K, Karla, were foster kids. The Prices weren’t their biological parents, they had a couple of kids of their own but used to foster too. They were lovely people, had fostered for years.’
Goosebumps peppered my skin as I hurried along, trying to make sense of what Ashley was saying. I had a vague memory of the nickname Barnardo’s for a house on the estate, but it was long before Ashley and Eddie hooked up.
‘So your mate, Karla, is Eddie’s sister?’
‘It would appear so.’
‘Does she know?’
‘She must know. I don’t see how she can’t know. She’s been inside, different prison, but got out a few months before me.’
‘What was she in for?’
‘Drug dealing.’
‘Makes sense, someone had their claws into all the kids in that family.’
‘Listen I’ve got to go. I’ll speak to you over the weekend.’
I ended the call and lit a cigarette, ignoring the tremble in my hands.
Now I knew why Karla would have a reason to target me. But it still didn’t shed any light on why she would firstly help me dispose of Terry, only to try and set me up for the crime. If that was what she was doing? My insides churned; did I have reason to fear my interview with the police today? Was Karla going to grass me up? Would she tell the police what really happened? I had to get to her before her interview.
41
I jogged, slowly at first, but as fear took hold, I sprinted to Bright’s, arriving ten minutes before nine, sweaty and with a stitch.
‘What happened to you?’ Agnes wrinkled her nose at my dishevelled appearance as we crossed paths at the lockers.
‘Nothing. Fancied a jog. Seen Karla yet?’ I panted.
‘No. I’ve seen rota, we’re together today. Pressing machine. Try not to burn yourself this time, eh.’ Agnes disappeared around the corner into the warehouse as I put my things in my locker.
I made a pit stop at the ladies’ to splash some cold water on my glowing face before joining her.
It’ll be fine, Karla will be here soon, and I can talk to her. Make her see sense. Perhaps once it was all out in the open, she’d understand. I’d be able to tell her the truth of what happened in the car, the real version only Ashley and I knew.
‘Hey.’ Dan caught me around the waist as I hurried to join Agnes, making me jump. He released me quickly before anyone saw, a mischievous look in his eyes. ‘I missed you this morning.’
Despite my worries, I broke into a smile; it was nice to feel wanted. I wished I could enjoy it, everything seemed clouded by Terry and Karla.
‘Oh, and happy Valentine’s Day.’ He reached forward and gave me a kiss. I blushed; I’d been so caught up I’d completely forgot.
‘Happy Valentine’s Day,’ I replied, feeling the heat in my cheeks.
‘Ready for today?’
‘Guess so. Are the police here yet?’
‘Yes, and I’ve swapped you with Hanna, so you’re one of the first. As you were nervous, I thought you might prefer to get it over and done with.’
I looked around; a deer caught in the headlights. I had to find Karla now.
‘Is Karla here?’
‘She’s in the car already, I caught her on the way in.’
I nodded and returned to the locker to get my bag, blinking away my dizziness. ‘Can you tell Agnes where I’ve gone, she’ll be waiting for me on the pressing machine.’
‘Sure. Good luck, see you in a bit.’ Dan smiled at me sympathetically, brushing his fingers past mine as I went.
I chewed my lip, pulling open the door to Bright’s and seeing the police car waiting outside, its engine running. Karla sat in the passenger seat; I could see her mass of curls past the driver. It wasn’t Officer Stokes driving.
In the back, Laura sat chewing her fingernails, her face pale. I guessed for some of us even getting back inside a police car would bring back memories we’d all prefer to forget. I had no idea what Laura had done to serve time, but as she shifted in her seat, it was obvious how nervous she was.
‘Miss Strickland?’ a voice jolted me back into the present and the driver, a female officer I’d not seen before, called out to me through her window.
I nodded and climbed in the back next to Laura.
She smiled at me tightly and my stomach lurched, even the new-car smell brought back memories. I’d been transported from the hospital once discharged directly into custody, where I was arrested for causing death by dangerous driving, with a mountain of CCTV capturing me swerve along the road and eventually into a tree.
As we pulled away, Karla turned to look at me, her face devoid of emotion, like she was dead behind the eyes. I studied her face for a second, trying to make the connection that I now knew was there. As hard as I tried, I had no recollection of her from the estate. Knowing she was Eddie’s sister; I imagined her hatred must have been difficult to hide when she finally met the person responsible for robbing her brother of his life.
The policewoman tried to make conversation with her, raising the topic of the bruising around her eye which was turning green. Karla was giving her the old, ‘I walked into a door’ routine, which the officer was not buying.
Throughout the journey Laura kept fidgeting and I stared out of the window for a distraction. Each of us apprehensive about the interview ahead.
When we finally reached the station, the memories came floating back. The interview rooms hadn’t changed in four years, the same paint peeling off the walls, the same table and chairs. I went first, keen to get it over and done with, while Karla and Laura waited in the seating area. I should have pushed Laura to go, then Karla and I would have had a chance to talk alone. Now I needed to pray she wouldn’t bubble me up. Surely there was too much at stake for her to take the risk. She had to know if she offered me up
, there was the possibility I’d drag her down with me.
Detective Wimslow arrived with another lady I didn’t recognise; she was in plain clothes and was introduced as Detective Mansfield. No doubt brought in because of the delicate questions likely to be asked.
Wimslow kicked off by asking when I first joined Bright’s, what date it was, how I came to get the job. I told them about Barry, our community rehabilitation officer, how he suggested Bright’s would be a good fit. I knew I wouldn’t need to say any more. They’d connect the dots when all of us had the same story, even if no one cast any shade on him. They’d see the pattern, look at his placements and maybe even take a look at his bank account, or perhaps I’d seen too many movies.
‘When was the first time Terry acted inappropriately towards you?’
‘It was my second week when he called me in to have a chat about how I was getting on. He told me he liked to look after his girls, bonus schemes, extra hours, basically if I was good to him, he’d be good to me. I got the general idea straight away.’
‘And did he make any advances to you then?’ Mansfield asked, shuffling forward in her seat. I nodded.
‘Of sorts, but I told him to get stuffed and left. When I came back to work the next day, he didn’t mention anything, so I thought I’d be left alone.’
‘Did you tell any of the others?’
I shook my head.
‘Okay, so you didn’t tell any of the other employees, what about Barry, did you go to him about it?’
‘No.’
‘Why not?’ Wimslow asked.
‘Because the next time Terry called me in, Barry was already there. Apparently, money had gone missing and Barry was warning me how easy it would be for me to get my probation revoked if I didn’t toe the line.’
‘What money had gone missing?’
‘I don’t think there was any money, it was just a way to get us to do what he wanted.’ I knew that to be true, although I couldn’t prove it.
Detective Mansfield smiled at me, her expression warm and comforting, although in my mind all I could hear was she’s police, you can’t trust her.