As soon as the nurse had left, I approached Jen and touched her cheek with one finger, closing my eyes and envisioning golden healing energy flowing out of my body and into her, like a trickle charger. It didn’t even wake her. When I had finished, I sat down and picked up a magazine. I stayed for an hour, but she mostly smiled loopily or slept. Towards the end of the time, she started to come around.
“Hey,” she said in a raspy voice.
I looked up from the magazine. “Hey, how are you feeling?”
“Better than this morning.”
“I heard.”
Jen grunted. “You didn’t hear anything. They keep the screaming that goes on around here under wraps. It’s not fun having your dead skin scrubbed off.”
I winced.
“Mom said a new man came in with you. Who is he, and why haven’t I met him?”
I pictured Matt and couldn’t hold back a frustrated sigh.
“That good, huh?” She started to laugh, then winced. “Is he the guy from Cornell?”
“Yes, but… it’s complicated.”
“I always knew it would be.”
I tried to think what to say without saying too much. She already knew something was up with what she had seen, and I didn’t want to overtax her or freak her out in her current state. She might even decide she had hallucinated. It would be great to be able to take her into my confidence, but I didn’t want to deny her sanity by insisting she believe in things she might be better off forgetting. I decided to keep it simple. “He’s gorgeous, blond, and built. He’s also very frustrating. I think he’s holding back because he’s not sure whether our relationship can work.”
“Why wouldn’t it?”
I shrugged. “He lives in New York, I live here. He’s visiting right now, we’re just exploring how this partnership can work.”
“What does he do again?”
“He’s an ornithologist.”
“That’s great. You have the same interests.” Her eyes sparkled. “I predict next year I will be a bridesmaid at your wedding.”
I rolled my eyes but didn’t deny it. Her thinking about the future and having something to look forward to might be a good thing.
Just then, the dinner cart arrived. Luckily, her throat hadn’t been adversely affected, she was able to breathe and eat on her own. Because of the bandages on her hands, she did require some help getting the food to her mouth. I said my goodbyes and promised to visit again soon.
“I can’t wait to meet him,” Jen said, then yawned.
I flapped my hand at her from the required four feet away. I couldn’t even promise he would still be around in a few days, let alone when she got out of the hospital.
There was already a guy in blue scrubs with his head bent over a clipboard when I got on the elevator, so I faced forward, folded my arms, and thought in silence about how to handle Matt as the doors slid shut.
“Has the worm turned so soon?” I heard from behind me.
I turned to find my demon lover with a merry smile on his lips and a twinkle in his eye.
“You, give me one reason I shouldn’t banish you right now.” I took a step forward with my hand up and found myself facing empty space. He had rolled up like a snapped shade, leaving a line of smoke.
“Now, now, play nice, or I won’t share what I know and, trust me, you could use a friend who knows what the other side is planning right now,” a disembodied voice chided me gently.
I crossed my arms again. “Why should I believe a single word you say?”
He appeared so close in front of me that I inhaled sharply and took a step back, putting up my hands to ward him off. “Darling,” he said reproachfully. “I’ll tell you what, I’ll let you touch me as long as you promise not to exorcise me in the next ten minutes.”
I snorted. “And why would you trust me?”
He stepped closer as I backed up until he could lean over me with a hand on the wall. “Because right now, I know you better than you know yourself, apparently.” He smirked. “I certainly know your body better than anyone else, even if it is a human version.” He leaned down slowly as if to kiss me; I ducked out of the way.
“Fine, I promise I won’t exorcise you in the next ten minutes…”
He turned to follow me with his eyes.
I tilted my head forward and glared, trying to look menacing. “As long as you don’t do anything to hurt me or anyone else during that period of time.”
He raised both hands in a gesture of surrender. “Fair enough.” He spread his legs and grinned, keeping his hands up. “Come and touch me.”
The sexual overtone he gave it made me hesitate, but I needed to know if I could trust him at all. He was offering information from the enemy. I took just a few steps until I could touch his chest with my fingertips at arm’s length.
He let out a moan of pleasure and gripped my shoulders. We were no longer in the elevator.
“Do you remember this?” I heard his silky voice and felt his breath in my right ear.
I gasped as sensations surged over my body. I was lying on my back, and he lay between my legs. I knew it was him, even though I could only see the top of his head and feel what his very talented tongue and fingers were doing as I writhed under his ministrations. He was my lover, but only in the physical sense. Even as I felt the enjoyment of the time we spent together, and the affection we shared, I knew my heart belonged to another. This was just… filling a physical need my soul mate could not, or was not willing to.
I snapped back to my body in the elevator and inhaled deeply. Zyriel stared into my eyes with a sadness that had not been there before. “Yes, I know,” he said quietly. “It’s him. It’s always been him between us.”
“I never realized you wanted more,” I said. The vision had released a flood of memories, and I struggled to assimilate them. The bond had let us share something more than just memories, it had let us share thoughts and emotions for a moment. I realized I had always meant more to him than he had to me. I felt guilty for that, as if I’d used him. “I’m sorry.”
His hands dropped from my shoulders. He pursed his lips and breathed in through his nose. “It’s okay. It was good while it lasted, right?”
I shook my head, frustrated. “Aren’t angels supposed to be above all this?”
Zyriel threw his head back and laughed deeply, then looked at me. “I’ve never quite understood why humans persist in thinking angels are so different from them. Consider why Lucifer led us in rebellion—pride, anger, jealousy - and you…” He tapped the tip of my nose. “You should know better.”
That was absurd. I threw my hands up. “Why? I keep telling you, I don’t remember anything.”
He crossed his arms, and his face was hidden in shadow, but his head shook from side to side. “I don’t believe you,” he said softly. He stepped closer and cupped my face. “I know you remember now at least some of what we shared.”
At that moment, the elevator doors slid open, signaling the end of our descent. I looked over to see Matt, scowling ferociously at Zyriel’s proximity. Their eyes met.
“You,” Matt growled.
“Mattheus,” Zyriel said coolly.
Matt stepped into the elevator, and the doors closed behind him.
I moved to position myself between the two. I didn’t like the way they were eyeing one another.
“You should not be consorting with the likes of him,” Matt ground out.
“I just had one more question.” I turned to Zyriel. “Why? Why did you throw your lot in with them when they revolted in Heaven?”
He grinned ruefully. “Well, I had a little problem with greed when it came to His creations.”
“Ally,” Matt supplied.
“Yes, and no. Being with our sweet Merry here epitomized everything I enjoyed most about sex, but sensual pursuits in general are my vice. I adore how humans have elevated it to the spiritual and deplore how they’ve sometimes degraded it to the violent. However…” He leered at Matt. �
��I did so love sliding my tongue all over Merry. I always thought a threesome with the two of you would be sublime, Mattheus.”
Matt growled and stepped forward. Zyriel flicked his fingers at him as if expelling water, and Matt froze. Zyriel looked back down at me and cupped my chin. “I’d best go before he rips my head off and shoves it up my arse,” he said ruefully.
“Could he do that?” I asked incredulously. Zyriel was a fallen angel in his true form, while we were humans, with all the frailty that implied.
“Well, if there were ever a time, thinking about you and me together might make it possible.” He laughed crudely, then leaned down and pressed his lips to mine once, quickly. “Mmm, I do miss the taste of you.” He disappeared with a wink.
Then I felt a kiss on my cheek, and his voice whispered in my ear. “I could never destroy you anymore than you could banish me.”
I snorted. He acted more like a millionaire playboy than a demon.
Matt jolted forward, his head whipping around. “Where did he go?”
I shrugged. “He left.”
Matt changed direction and came at me. Shocked, I let him back me up against the elevator wall until he buried his hands in my hair. “I… you…” he said, then his mouth descended on mine, lips and tongue and teeth laying siege. I moaned low in my throat and felt him reach down, grasp my thighs and pull them up around his waist. His mouth left mine, and I grasped his arms, at once feeling his need to claim me for himself.
“Yes,” I moaned as he sucked at the base of my throat.
The elevator dinged open once more, and I stared at the shocked expression on Father Patrick’s face. I tugged at Matt’s hair. “Hello, Father.” I smiled weakly. I heard the faint echo of a mocking laugh and saw the priest look up, perplexed, as if he had heard it too.
* * *
Outside, I led the way to the car and took my keys back from Matt, my only thought to get us outside of town, onto a deserted road, so I could pull over and pick up where we left off.
I took it easy heading out of town. Once I hit the country roads where there was no speed limit posted, I opened her up and flew along, letting the speed and freedom soothe something inside me.
I took a back road and slowed down, then pulled the car over in the entrance to a field to park. The roads were pretty deserted out here, but I didn’t want to just sit in the middle of the road. I turned the ignition off as I unbuckled my seat belt, eager to be in his arms. I turned.
He wasn’t looking at me again.
“I don’t know how to be around you anymore,” he said.
“What…” I started to ask what in the world he was talking about, but he held up a hand, so I shut my mouth and sat back, gripping the steering wheel a little too tightly.
“On the other side, I loved you more than anyone.”
“Except for God,” I said quietly, supplying the ending, without rancor.
“No,” he responded vehemently. “I loved you more than anyone. I would do anything for you.”
It was my turn to look around for the lightning bolt.
“Over there, I knew you had a physical relationship with Zyriel. That was okay because it made you happy. I didn’t have the same need, and he filled it for you. I was the one you shared your mind and soul with. I was ecstatic with that, but it’s different here.”
“Yeah, you don’t have a giant flaming sword,” I said, trying to lighten the mood.
After a moment, I felt his stare and met it. “Sorry.” I faced forward.
He sighed. “Everything here is much more… emotional, physical, carnal.”
I sat up a little straighter.
I stared straight out the windshield, not daring to look at him. “What are you saying?”
“I am saying I want you constantly, passionately, unbearably. I want to rip off your clothes and touch every inch of you, hear you moan my name, to be united with you in a way we never have, and I cannot stand the thought of you being with him, here, the way I never could over there. I don’t know how to live like that again.”
I closed my eyes. “I am not asking you to,” I said through clenched teeth.
“I think the best thing is for me to train you and then get out of the house. I can’t stand to watch you with him.”
“For the love of God, I was tied up.” I opened my eyes and looked over at him in exasperation. “I don’t want any kind of relationship with him. All I could think of was you. I have no interest in being his queen of the damned or whatever the hell he wants.”
He met my gaze.
I blew out my frustration. “I’ve only known you in this life for a couple weeks, yet I can tell we mean much more to each other than anyone I’ve ever known or can remember in the other life we shared. And there is no one on this Earth or elsewhere who I have ever wanted a physical relationship with more than you. I enjoyed spending time with Zyriel over there, that’s true, but he was a poor substitute for you.” I sat back and regarded him sadly. I didn’t know how to convince him he should stay. I didn’t even know for certain he should. I just knew I wanted him physically, and I could feel the love I had had for him throughout time. “So... where does that leave us?”
His arm shot out, and his fingers encircled my wrist, then tugged, pulling me closer and off balance. I was startled at the sudden action, and my lips parted with a quick gasp.
His eyes glittered. “Let’s find out.”
I could have righted myself, but did I want to? No, I did not. I met him across the center console as he used his other hand at the nape of my neck to draw my face down to his.
A few minutes later, a car rocketed past us, and we came up for air. “Probably some kids headed home from school, though I think we should probably take this back to the house,” I said.
“Agreed.”
I shuddered as I sat back properly in the driver’s seat and started the car again. Being extra cautious because my senses were still reeling after the lack of oxygen for the last few minutes, I looked behind us and pulled back out into the road. “Okay.” I may have jerked the steering wheel slightly when I felt Matt’s hand rest on my thigh and start a slow slide up.
He chuckled. The sound reverberated through my body.
“Not fair,” I protested.
“Drive faster,” he suggested.
It was my breath that was going too fast, though. I inhaled slowly as I went around a curve.
A darkly clothed figure ran into the road. I jammed on the brakes and felt the first impact as I hit him, then a second jarring thud as the body flew up into the air and came down on the hood. The car came to a stop. The body rolled forward off the car onto the ground, making the car shake again. “What the hell,” I yelled, throwing the car into park.
I heard Matt say, “No. Don’t,” but I was already opening the car door. Matt came around the other side of the car.
I leaned down, unable to believe whoever it was could possibly still be alive. I felt for a pulse anyway. I touched his skin, and felt the agony of a thousand souls crying out. I yanked back my hands and studied the features of his face. They swam in front of my eyes, becoming distorted and misshapen until I realized what it was.
“It’s not human,” I said. “I mean, it was a human, but it’s possessed by a demon.”
“Shit,” Matt said. “Can you heal them?”
I steeled myself and placed a hand on the man’s forehead as if I were checking for fever and closed my eyes. I couldn’t sense any vestige of the human. I opened my eyes and pulled back, shaking my head regretfully. “The human is gone. The demon is the only thing keeping the body alive.”
“The problem is he ran out in front of you deliberately. I can only think of one reason for that at the moment.” It was like demonic life support but the patient was dead.
“Did it really think it could stop us and hurt us? What was the point of that?”
In the distance, I heard a siren.
Matt’s head lifted. “That. To die for his cause. It’
s a set up.”
I was slow to absorb what he said. “What do you mean?”
“Getting you convicted of vehicular manslaughter, or worse, would put you out of commission just about as neatly as if you weren’t on this plane of existence at all.”
Shit. “Okay.” I counted to ten in an effort to center myself. As I reached down to put my hands on the demon again, it snarled. It had to have heard us, known I was going to attempt to heal it, but the body it inhabited was too broken to even attempt to ward me off or get away.
I placed one palm over its forehead, the other over its heart. I tried to imagine it whole and healthy, but the impressions of the screaming souls made it hard to concentrate. I felt their pain. My body vibrated with it. Through gritted teeth, I said, “May God bless you and make you whole.”
The demon screamed, a high-pitched keening, and I yanked my hands back as it began to burn under my touch. I fell back on my ass and looked at the demon, its head lolling to the side.
“It’s definitely dead now,” I gasped out.
Matt hauled me to my feet.
I contemplated the body. How far away were the cops? “What do we do? Throw the body off the road? Put it in the trunk? Just leave it? The guy might have a family who deserves closure no matter what possessed him.”
Matt pulled out his cell phone. “I don’t think we have a choice. We have to play through whatever they set up. We don’t know what the police have been told already, but we at least have some control of the situation. Just tell the truth. We came around the corner, and he walked in front of the car. We don’t know why.” He clicked a few pictures with his phone, then dialed 911. “Hello? I’d like to report an accident.”
We stood off to the side of the road as we waited for the police, keeping an eye on the body. Not one other car drove by, but that wasn’t unusual out on the dirt roads where I lived. It didn’t take long. A black and white arrived with lights flashing. It had to have been the sirens we heard.
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