I shoved away from the door and gathered her into my arms. She cried into my chest, and I rubbed my hands up and down her back in an attempt to soothe her. “I’m so sorry.” I kissed her forehead. “But you leaving school to take care of him—he’d never want that. He’d hate himself more for that.”
She swiped away the last of her tears and motioned for me to enter her living room.
Her dad probably should’ve downsized at the loss of his wife, but he couldn’t handle leaving the only home they’d ever shared—too many memories.
An anonymous donor from the police force paid off their mortgage and set aside money for college tuition and taxes on the home for the next twenty years. Adriana only just found out last year—by accident—that I had asked my father to be that anonymous donor.
And now, I was about to reject the money and everything that came with being a Bennett.
But could I leave Adriana? We already lived in two different states because of college, but if I joined the Navy, we could end up in two countries.
My shoulders sagged, and I faced the wall, worried she’d see the torn look on my face, and I knew her—she would never let me sacrifice my wants out of concern for her.
“You rushed here to tell me something, what is it?” Her hand touched my back. “Did you finally decide? Are you dropping out of med school?”
I nodded but didn’t turn.
“You did it?” A near squeal surprised me enough to finally spin around. “Ah! I’m so proud of you!” She hooked her arms around my neck. “You’re going to make one hell of a sailor, Charlie Bennett.”
I kept her in place, unable to move with my hands on her waist and her arms around my neck. I could barely think a straight thought with her gaze pinned to mine. Pride shimmering in her eyes despite the reality of what my decision meant.
I swallowed, the sudden desire to press my mouth to hers overwhelming, but I chalked it up to excitement. She’d become my best friend the night her mom died, and I couldn’t lose her friendship—meeting her had become the most incredible thing that’d ever happened to me.
“But I’ll . . . we may not see each other as much as I’d like. And who will keep an eye on you?”
She stepped back only so she could lightly swat my chest.
“This is serious.” I’d stepped in for her dad. I’d kept an eye on her when he couldn’t. I’d made sure she called me after every date to ensure she was back at her dorm safe, and then I was the one who’d flown in to interrogate any guys who she’d decided to date long-term.
“I want you to join.”
I considered her words and fought back. “If I do, you can’t leave school.”
She frowned.
But I was right.
She couldn’t give up her dreams.
“Fine.”
“Handshake?” I stepped back to extend my palm.
“You hate handshakes.” A smile touched her lips, and my chest tightened at the sight. Her smile still got to me. No amount of her dating, or me dating, would change the effect this woman had on me.
There were more reasons than ever as to why I couldn’t turn the clock back and try and recapture what we almost had the night we met.
The brush of her lips would forever remain on my mind, though.
But maybe someday we could try again.
She perked a brow, her eyes on my lips as if the memory of our kiss was on her mind this very minute.
Her gaze dragged to my eyes, and my heart almost busted out of my chest.
Maybe someday should be now. I wished it could be, at least.
But I was joining the Navy, and she had college to finish—so no, someday would have to wait.
Prologue: Recruitment
Virginia Beach (2013)
“I’m coming!” He tightened the towel around his waist, water dripping onto the hardwoods with each step as he hurried down the hall to answer the door.
Not bothering to check who was on the other side, he braced his left hand on the wall and quickly yanked open the door with his right. Momentarily startled, he froze.
“Well, well, well.” Adriana popped her dark brows up and down a few times and flashed him a smile. “What a way to greet a lady.”
Knox huffed out a laugh and secured the towel that was dangerously close to slipping off his hips.
“What the hell are you doing here, girl?” He gathered her into his arms for a tight hug before stepping back to take in the sight of her.
Her shoulder-length brown hair was in a loose ponytail with a few messy strands around her face. Her long legs were hidden beneath faded denim. Glow-in-the-dark bright orange Nikes for kicks. And a fitted black long-sleeved top that hugged the woman in places a friend shouldn’t be thinking about. And now he was, so . . .
“What?” Her cheeks pinked as a smile touched her lips, the kind of smile she wore in her green eyes as well.
“Just looking at you.” He was one not-so-subtle throat clear and towel-tenting moment away from letting her know exactly what was on his mind.
“Checking for damage?” She reached for a familiar-looking black-labeled bottle sitting on the ground next to her shoes.
“Can you blame me? You showing up unexpectedly has me a bit worried.” And that was true, but it didn’t change the fact he was still a single man, and she was a gorgeous woman. “Are you okay?” he asked when concern zipped up his spine at the realization it was late at night, and she’d driven to his house without a heads-up first.
“I’m more than okay,” she said, and his body relaxed at her answer. “But is this a bad time?” She pressed up on her toes to try and get a look over his shoulder.
“No one else is here,” he told her, knowing what she was thinking. “I just got out of the shower.”
“You do deploy in two days. I wouldn’t blame you for having a few pre-deployment hookups.”
Talking about his sex life with her was a hard limit for him and always had been. “Why the hell are you still standing there?” He stepped aside so she could enter, then closed the door behind her and accepted the bottle she offered. “You came straight here from D.C.?”
“Yeah, I got some news, and I don’t know, I hopped into my car and drove here.” Adriana’s light green eyes whipped from his six-pack to his face. “It’s not fair you get better with age.”
“This takes a lot of work.” He smoothed his free hand over his abs.
“Sure.” She dragged out the word, her lips twitching, then she pointed to his bedroom. “Clothes and then Jack.”
“You invite another brother over?” It was his turn to tease now.
“And share my best friend?”
He squeezed one eye closed and held the bottle up. “Oh, you mean my buddy here.” He pointed to the bottle with a smile. “Yeah, he and I go way back.”
Her shoulders trembled as she fought a laugh. “Maybe Jack was a bad idea. The last time we got drunk on it—”
“We nearly got arrested during Mardi Gras.” New Orleans had been one hell of a trip. Maybe they needed to take another vacation after he rotated back home.
“Not my fault.”
“Yeah, sure, blame Jack.”
“More like you! You almost popped that guy in the face who hit on me, a guy who happened to be an off-duty cop.” She waved her hand in the air. “Will you get dressed already? I can’t handle staring at all that rugged gorgeousness and maintain a straight face.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He handed the bottle back to her and went into his bedroom.
His two-story townhouse wasn’t much. A living room, a galley kitchen, and two bedrooms comprised the actual living space on the first floor. The entire second floor was dedicated as a game room. A ping-pong table that doubled as a pool table. Two old-school pinball machines. And a drop-down movie screen he and his buddies played Xbox on.
He may have earned his nickname, Knox, after Fort Knox Depository because of his rich father, but once he’d joined the Navy, he’d never taken a dime of
his old man’s money. Pretty much forgot all about his trust fund, too.
After throwing on a white tee and black sweatpants, he headed back to join Adriana in the living room. “So, you gonna spill the news, or what?”
She kept her eyes on the floor. “I did something, and I don’t want you to freak out.”
And there went his heart. It was about to fly out of his chest. When she started a sentence warning him to remain calm—yeah, he now knew why she brought the whiskey.
Last time he’d suffered heart failure from one of her announcements was two summers ago when she’d alerted him via email she was going to Barbados to swim with sharks.
“And, uh, what exactly did you do?” He took a moment to ground himself. To ensure his feet were planted firm, so he didn’t hit the floor when she leveled him with whatever she was about to say.
“I’m joining the Secret Service.” Her don’t-kill-me smile worked its way to her mouth. “Training starts in Georgia in two weeks.” She held two fists in front of her mouth when her eyes lifted to his.
He took a breath. A long, long breath.
He’d yet to harness the power of speech. He was stuck somewhere between a Hell, no and Congrats!
As much as he hated sharks—even though swimming in the ocean was a requisite for his profession—he’d take them and Barbados over the news she’d be in danger on a regular damn basis.
Knox held one finger between them. “Last time I checked it wasn’t April first. You’re not playing me right now?”
“No.” Her hands crashed to her sides as the disappointment of his reaction tossed a shadow over her face.
“This is unexpected.” He pressed both palms to his face and pulled them down. “Why?” A three-letter word he knew she wouldn’t want to hear, but how could he not ask the question? She’d never mentioned the Secret Service before tonight.
Cop? Yes.
After finishing undergrad at Georgetown, she had an offer to attend grad school at GW. She had come to him torn. Her desire to join the police academy, despite her father’s protests, had yet to disappear.
She’d wanted Knox’s advice, but he’d known he wouldn’t be the best person to give it because he’d choose grad school to keep her safe. He’d side with her father out of fear.
So, he’d told her it was her decision to make, and when she chose George Washington, he remembered how to breathe again.
Apparently, the need to serve and protect had only grown stronger over the years.
But she knew what politicians, people like his father, were made of—nothing good as far as he was concerned. She’d seen the results of their hypocrisy. Why, then, would she willingly put her life on the line to protect them?
Her shoulders slumped. “You don’t look happy.”
“Shit, it’s not that.” He had to sit. Time had slowed to the point he was sure he could actually feel the rotation of the earth. “But why? You haven’t—”
“Charlie.” She was deploying her soft tone, hitting him where it’d hurt.
She was also the only one who called him by his given name. A reminder he was still the son of a senator. Charlie was the name of the man he’d left behind. A man he’d prefer not to be anymore.
Once on the leather couch, his gaze pinned to his hands—hands that, as far as his family had been concerned, were supposed to belong to a doctor.
“I didn’t expect you to take it so badly.” Her voice was soft, gentle as she eased herself down to sit next to him. He veered his focus to her face and swallowed a groan. She was using her damn puppy dog eyes.
He’d be putty in her hands now.
“I get why you’re not a fan. You hate politicians. But maybe I’ll get assigned to the investigations division.”
He grunted. “You didn’t join to sit behind a desk and find money launderers. No, you’ll want to be on the front lines of the action.” He swiped his hand over his closely shaved head but kept his gaze steady on her beautiful lighter-than-light emerald green eyes.
She was still dodging the hell out of his question, and there had to be a reason for it.
“Be happy for me, please.”
“I already worry about you. If anything happened to you, I’d never survive that.” He attempted to hide the break in his voice.
He was going to J-Bad in two days. How would he focus knowing she was joining the Secret Service?
“Uh, need I remind you what your own job entails? Don’t be a hypocrite, okay?”
“You teach criminal justice. It’s—”
“Safer, I know.”
She’d landed a professor job at George Washington after getting her doctorate there only two years ago. None of this made sense.
But trying to convince her not to put herself in the line of fire when he lived and breathed that life every day? Kettle calling the pot black. Or whatever the hell that saying was.
He needed that Jack. He rose and went to the bar and poured two glasses. Before he considered facing her, he drained his glass and refilled it.
“I was going through some boxes in the attic at my dad’s place a few months back, and I found a journal of my mom’s.”
He knew what was coming, and maybe he should’ve known sooner.
“Mom applied to be in the Secret Service before I was born.” Her words were light. Like she was worried her voice would break if she spoke in a normal tone. “She got accepted but then found out she was pregnant, and so she stayed on the police force.”
His stomach plummeted to the depths of the deepest ocean.
His mind catapulted him back to October of 2000. The night he met the most amazing girl in the world. The night that girl’s mother died.
At the feel of her hand on his back, his muscles snapped together.
He slowly faced her with both drinks in hand, and every painful emotion layered atop him brick by brick as he stared at the incredible woman that girl had become.
Her lashes lowered, and a touch of crimson flowed up her graceful neck and tinted her cheeks.
“Dad never told me. She never told me.” Adriana took the drink. “She gave up her dreams because of me.”
He remained unmoving. Like he was trapped in time and watching her fall to her knees in despair all over again at the news of her mother’s death.
“Are you doing this because you think you owe it to her?”
“I want you to be happy for me. I was so excited to share the news with you.”
“You were nervous.” Knox gulped down his second drink and set the glass on the bar. “Did you come here so I’d talk you out of it?”
“No.” She downed her glass in one long swig before shaking off a wince.
She was drinking away her nerves, which meant he was right. But he also knew she was stubborn and trying to get her to back down would be pointless. She had to come to the realization on her own.
He faced the bar again and bowed his head, struggling with what the hell to say or do.
It could’ve been a minute, or an hour, that he’d remained frozen without speaking—he wasn’t sure, but he finally whispered, “Addy.”
“Charlie Jackson Bennett, don’t you Addy me. You turn around and give me a proper hug and congratulations.” Her Southern drawl sank deep into each word as if she were biting down on her back teeth, trying not to cry, and he hated himself for making her feel that way.
“Pulling out all three names on me, huh?” He tried to soften the blow, to ease the touch of discomfort he’d inflicted when he hadn’t thrown her the full weight of his support.
“Well, it worked,” she announced as he turned, feeling like he moved both heaven and hell to face her. “You’re looking at me, at least.”
She pouted. Damn her.
He forced a smile, hoping to sever the ropes of concern that tethered his body to the ocean’s shore while wave after wave relentlessly attempted to swallow him. If anything ever happened to this woman, he’d drown.
A smirk matched his as she set her glass asi
de. Happiness had returned.
As terrified as he was at the idea of her joining the Secret Service, he’d be the friend she needed even if it pained him. Always.
“You got some fly shades to wear, at least?” he joked. “I hear it’s a requirement.”
She slapped his chest, but thank God, her smile had broadened. “That’s all Hollywood.”
“It could get sunny out.” He kept up with the charade, hoping another shot of Jack would tamp down the flame of worry that threatened to turn into a full-blown fire.
“Well”—she waved a finger between them—“are you going to hug me or what?”
“Didn’t we already hug when you first got here?” She reached out to playfully swat him again, but he caught her wrist this time. “I’m going to miss you when I leave.” He palmed her cheek with his free hand, not ready to lose hold of her.
“I’m glad I got to see you before you deploy.” A quick pout followed. “Deployment sucks.”
He loved his work. His squadron. The only downfall—leaving her. Not being there to protect Addy. “I know,” he whispered, fighting to maintain a tight thread of control in his tone.
“I’m doing the right thing.” She lightly nodded. “I promise.”
It was then that he finally hugged her. Her cherry blossom shampoo found his nose, and he committed the scent to memory. And for the first time, the fear of not making it home from his next rotation struck him.
Who’d protect her if he died?
Her dad was only in the picture on the random days he decided to sober up.
Shit.
But no, she needed him to be strong. To be happy for her.
He didn’t want to screw this up a second time tonight even if he was right about her joining for the wrong reasons. Then again, hadn’t he done the same when he joined the Navy, and it turned out better than okay?
“I need another drink.” She sidestepped him to pour herself a Jack, then sucked it down like a champ.
“I’m sorry for the way I reacted,” he said on a sigh as she set down her empty glass. “Congratulations. If you’re happy, I’m happy.”
Finding the Way Back: A Stealth Ops Novel Page 2