I laugh. “Sounds like you’re about as interested in dating as I am.”
She nods fiercely. “Yes, as in zero.”
“Good, because relationships aren’t my thing these days.”
“That makes two of us.”
“And we don’t need to date to practice for your contest.”
“We absolutely don’t.” She taps her chin, her eyes drifting to a clipboard on the wall. “Let’s see. The contest is in three weeks. We could practice again, say, Thursday night?”
“That’s a long time from now.”
She laughs. “Good. You’ll be even readier then. How about you pick a time and place and text me?” She is my kind of woman. Confident. Bold. Plays zero games. “But make it good, Derek McHotPants.”
“It won’t be good, kitten. It’ll be oh so fucking good your toes will curl.”
“I can’t wait.”
She enters her number into my phone, pecks a kiss to my lips, then kicks me out.
I’ve never been so happy to be shown the door.
9
Perri
“Check this out,” Shaw declares proudly.
At the grill on our parents’ deck that evening, my brother stands next to my father, sliding a spatula under a hamburger.
Dad rolls his hazel eyes. “You’re not going to do this again, are you?”
Shaw nods vigorously as he waggles the burger-laden spatula. “Don’t you trust me, Dad?”
Dad huffs. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s that I absolutely don’t trust you for a hot second not to mess up the most fantastic burgers I’ve made this year.”
Shaw claps Dad on the shoulder—they’re the same height and have been since Shaw was in high school. Six foot forever. Same build too—big. Same sense of humor—sarcastic as hell.
“Dad, I don’t want to hear that kind of negative self-talk. All your burgers are incredible. Say it with me.” Shaw puffs out his chest and adopts a Stuart Smalley tone. “My burgers are good enough, and gosh darn it, people like them.”
“What did I do to deserve this kind of torture?” Dad grabs another spatula and tries to swat Shaw’s burger back onto the grill. I watch from my spot in the Adirondack chair on the deck. Shaw-and-Dad slapstick is the best spectator theater. I lean closer to Vanessa, whispering, “Bet you’ve never seen this routine before.”
“Never,” she says sarcastically. “But it never grows old.”
Shaw darts around Dad and grabs another burger.
“You deserve this, Sam. You taught him everything he knows about being a provocateur,” Mom calls out through the open kitchen window.
“I did not, Gail.”
“Oh yes you did, and now it’s payback time,” she says.
Shaw turns to Vanessa and me. “Place your bets, ladies. Will the juggler and star of the firemen calendar crush it at burger flipping, or will he absolutely crush it like no one has crushed it before?”
Vanessa cups the side of her mouth. “The judges haven’t ruled. We want to see what you can do first.”
“Behold.” Shaw fixes his eyes on Vanessa in her capri jeans and short-sleeve summer sweater. With the spatula, he tosses the first burger high in the air then whacks the next one skyward. As they fly, he wiggles an eyebrow, winking as he catches the first grilled burger on the spatula, then the second. He slides them back on the grill, holds his arms out wide, and takes a triumphant bow.
Vanessa claps. “And the judges have voted you on to the next round.”
“Hey, I’m on the jury too. I never vote in his favor,” I chime in.
Shaw turns to Dad. “See, Dad? And you never believed I had talent.”
Dad laughs again. “I always believed you had plenty of talent. That’s why I figured you’d join the big top rather than the fire service.”
“There’s still time,” I shout. “I heard the circus is having tryouts for clowns in a week.”
Vanessa provides a rim shot on an invisible drum set. “Hey Shaw, just how many burgers can you juggle?”
Dad swivels around, waving his spatula like a weapon. “Don’t encourage him or you’ll be banished, and I always liked you.”
Vanessa adopts the sweetest smile. “Of course, Mr. Keating. I won’t feed the circus animals anymore.”
We’re at our parents’ house for our usual Sunday supper. When Shaw and I aren’t on shifts, we come here every week and our parents treat us—and sometimes our friends too—to a feast, as we share the latest on jobs and life. Mom’s a former firefighter, one of the few female former chiefs in the state, and Dad’s a retired prosecutor. The apples didn’t fall far from the tree with Shaw and me.
Shaw darts through the open door to the kitchen and returns seconds later with a ketchup bottle, a mustard container, and some steak sauce, sending the three bottles spinning in the air.
Dad groans, but Vanessa cheers him on. “Higher! Higher!”
He does as he’s asked, a fierce look of concentration in his hazel eyes, and I swear he’s performing for her. Well, that’s not a surprise. Men tend to perform for women. Even if he’s known her for years, and Vanessa is practically our sister. Guys always try to impress the chicks.
“What else can you juggle?” Vanessa asks, as he sets the condiments on the deck railing.
Shaw scans the porch when Mom calls out, “Don’t even think about juggling plates, Shaw.”
He holds up his hands in innocence. “Who? Me?” To Vanessa, he says, “I can juggle pretty much anything. As soon as you get the hang of it, all you have to do is know the rhythm and keep it as you toss.”
“Can you, say, juggle bowling balls?” she challenges.
“Vanessa, do not let this trickster convince you that he can juggle bowling balls,” I warn.
“I just want to see if Shaw will try to convince me that it’s actually possible. Or really, if he can convince himself.”
He smiles at her. “I’ll have you know, I am a most excellent convincer. In fact, I have received a master’s degree in convincing.”
Mom pokes her head out onto the deck, using her best battalion chief voice. “All right, master convincer, why don’t you bring my ketchup, mustard, and steak sauce back inside, so I don’t have to convince you the hard way to set the table?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
We head inside and mingle in the kitchen, grabbing drinks and chatting before gathering at the table a little later when Gabe and Arden arrive. As we sit down to eat, Mom clears her throat. “Vanessa, can you say grace? I always love how you say it.”
“Of course, Mrs. Keating.” Vanessa says thank you for the dinner in Spanish, her first language. She’s fluent in both Spanish and English, since she moved here from Colombia when she was six.
“Beautiful,” Mom says.
Shaw nods, echoing, “Beautiful.”
We dig into the meal, enjoying the salad, burgers, and corn as Mom quizzes my friends on what they’re up to these days, even though she saw the full crew only two weeks ago.
Arden tells a story about a book club she’s been hosting at the store, and Gabe catches my parents up on how his grandpa is doing—he’s holding on well enough.
Dad lifts a glass of water. “Sometimes ‘well enough’ is all you can wish for. I’ll drink a toast to that.”
“Me too,” Gabe says.
“And Shaw, how are you feeling about Charlie having moved away?” my mother asks, referring to the paramedic he was close with. Recently, Charlie returned to his hometown in Florida.
“Well, I miss the bastard.” Shaw brings the burger to his mouth and takes a bite.
Mom gives him a look. “Language.” She might have once hung out in the boy’s club at the firehouse, but that doesn’t mean she talked the dirty talk with them. “Why can’t you just say, ‘I miss my friend’?”
Gabe lifts his chin. “I can do it, Mrs. Keating.” He glances at Shaw. “Watch how it’s done.” Gabe takes a deep breath. “I miss my friend.”
Mom smile
s, satisfied, gesturing to Gabe, then Shaw. “See?”
Shaw chews then huffs. “Fine, Mom. I miss the guy. But there’s a new guy who took his place, and he’s cool, so it’ll be fine.”
Mom smiles. “It’s always nice to make new friends.”
“Yes,” I chime in, “isn’t it wonderful after all this time that Shaw is finally playing well with the other boys?”
Mom stares at me. “Are you being sassy, missy?”
“Hmm. Am I?” I pretend to think about it. “Definitely,” I answer.
“And is sass the way to win a promotion?” Mom counters.
“I’m not sassy with the chief,” I say sheepishly.
“Then don’t be sassy with me.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Arden grabs the conversational steering wheel. “Speaking of, what do you think about the new promotion that Perri’s up for, Mr. and Mrs. Keating? I’m so excited about the possibility.”
I cross my fingers. “Let’s hope it happens. I want it so badly.”
“All you have to do is be the friendly face of the department, keep up your impeccable record at busting scofflaws, and oh, what’s the last one?” Arden asks playfully.
Vanessa waggles her arms excitedly. “Oh, I know, I know! Call on me, please!”
I roll my eyes. “Seriously, guys?”
Arden points to Vanessa. “You want to do the honors?”
Dad sets down his burger, his hazel eyes curious. “This I’d like to hear.”
“Me too,” Mom says. “What’s going on now?”
Vanessa points animatedly at me. “Her boss wants her to enter a kissing contest.”
Dad arches a brow. “That one in Whiskey Hollows?”
“Oh my God, is everyone doing this contest?” I ask.
Mom gives Dad a flirty look, and I drop my forehead into my palm. “Please, dear God, please oh please tell me my parents aren’t doing the contest.”
But when I look up, they’re already lip-locked. He’s leaned next to her and is planting a big fat kiss on her lips.
Gabe whistles while Arden cheers and Shaw shouts, “Get a room.”
They break apart, and Mom bats her lashes. “We’ve still got it.”
“And I’m still going to need therapy,” I tease.
“Oh, please. I’ve always believed the best example that parents can set is to show appropriate physical affection in front of their children. Now, who’s your kissing partner? Also, don’t even think you can beat us in the seniors category.”
I crack up. “You’re right, Mom. I can’t best you there.”
She squeezes my dad’s arm then turns her focus back to me. “So, who is he? Have you met someone? Is there a new guy?”
“Please. I have no time for dating or relationships,” I say, though the truth is a little sadder. Men don’t ask me out much. It’s a power thing. Being a cop can intimidate people, so my dating life has been woefully limited to men I’ve met online, and I’ve simply never found a meaningful connection there. I affect my best carefree smile. “But who needs a relationship? I only need a kissing partner for the contest. I’m helping raise money for first responders.”
I flash back over the early afternoon kiss at the waffle truck. The shake-the-earth, rock-me-to-my-core, turn-me-inside-out-with-pleasure kiss. The can-it-please-be-Thursday-so-I-can-sneak-off-and-do-it-again kiss. A fresh wave of sensation curls through my body, warming me up. I try to shuck it off, since I do not need to get retroactively aroused at the dinner table. But damn, that man can kiss like a rock star. And I bet that man can do everything in bed like a rock star too.
“And you have a kissing partner,” Arden says, suggestively.
“She totally found someone to enter with,” Vanessa seconds.
Shaw laughs as he takes another bite of his burger, chuckling at me. “This I’m dying to know. I thought you were basically undatable, sis.”
I give him a sneer and a kick under the table. In the shin. He cringes, but quickly rearranges his features into his best stoic face.
Dad tsks. “Perri, do you really have to do that?”
I shrug, like the innocent I am. “Do what?”
“I know you kicked your brother under the table.”
“Can you blame me? Would you actually prosecute that, considering the mitigating circumstances—those being that Shaw is acting just like Shaw?”
Dad laughs. “Son, behave. Can you do that for me?”
Shaw sighs heavily, like it takes a ton of effort. “I don’t know that I ever have. Should I really start now?”
“You know what they say, Mr. Keating,” Gabe chimes in. “Can’t teach an old dog new tricks, and Shaw is most definitely an old dog.”
Shaw barks, then he turns to me. “Anyway, you haven’t dated anybody in the longest time. Do you have a secret lover? A brand-new beau? A hot new piece of man meat on the side?”
My mother heaves the most dramatic sigh in the universe.
Shaw holds up his hands in surrender. “Sorry, Mom.”
I stare at my brother. “Seriously, how have you ever had a girlfriend? How is that even possible?”
Vanessa coughs then stares purposefully at her plate. I shoot her a quizzical look but return my focus to my brother. “Seriously, Shaw. Man meat?”
“So, who is the man meat, and do I need to beat him up?”
I laugh, because even though he’s a complete pain in the ass, I do love his crazy-protective side. “No, you don’t need to beat him up. He’s . . .” My voice trails off, and I’m not entirely sure what I want to tell them. I go with the simplest of details. “He’s focused and determined, and he has these sunburst tattoos all the way up his arm.”
“Ooh,” Mom says, squeezing Dad’s arm. “I’ve always loved the inked ones.”
Dad eyes his unmarked arm. “Does that mean you want me to go out and get a tattoo, Gail?”
Her eyes darken. “No, dear, I don’t think it would suit you.”
“You don’t?”
“I’m kidding. Could you get one across your chest? Make sure to put my name in it.”
“Count on it,” he says then drops a kiss on her cheek.
“You two are so in love it’s kind of gross, except it’s totally awesome,” I say.
Gabe and Arden raise their glasses, and Arden adds, “It’s thoroughly awesome.”
Mom looks to me. “Tell us more about your kissing partner. What’s he like?”
He’s a filthy, fantastic, hot-as-sin lover. He likes to flirt and kiss and tease, and drive me out of my mind with pleasure. He’s cocky, confident, and knows what he wants. He wants me.
But none of that is for public consumption. I spear a bite of tomato in the salad, hold it up, and give them a PG version. “His name is Derek, and he kisses like the only person I could ever imagine kissing in a kissing contest.”
Shaw makes a sound like a laugh met a cough, sputtering in amusement. “Seriously?”
I stare at him curiously. “Yes, what’s so weird about that?”
“Nothing,” he says, his expression instantly turning serious. “That’s just epic.”
Vanessa laughs. “Why is that epic?”
“That is the best thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Why?” I press.
Shaw smiles sweetly, reminding me there’s a good guy underneath his constant desire to needle me. We might drive each other crazy, but we love each other like mad and look out for each other as only family can. “I’m just excited you’ve found somebody you can picture kissing for that long.”
“Thank you, Shaw. I never thought I’d hear you say such a nice thing. But yes, I do think more practice will indeed help.”
“Practice makes perfect,” he adds.
“See? Isn’t it nicer when the two of you get along?” Mom asks.
Shaw nods. “I’ll have you know I’m a very nice brother. If memory serves, I’m helping you rent the room above your garage.”
I soften more. “I don’t know w
hat I’d do without you. You’re incredibly helpful. And I love to give you a hard time, but you’re actually the best brother a girl could ask for. You’re a Neanderthal sometimes, but other times you’re quite civilized and sweet.”
Shaw grins. “And Perri, you’re a pain in the ass—”
“Language,” Mom chides.
“But you’re super awesome too,” he adds.
I smile at him. “Super awesome and civilized. See how great we get along?”
Shaw grins. “In fact, I think you’re going to be amazed at how civilized I am.”
10
Derek
At the Barking Pug that night, Shaw raises two fingers to catch the bartender’s attention then turns to me. “Drinks are on me.”
“Thanks, man. I appreciate it.”
The mustached bartender slaps down two napkins. “What can I get you?”
“Two beers. Whatever’s good on tap.”
“Got an IPA tonight that you’ll like, Shaw,” the guy says.
“That work for you?” Shaw asks.
I drum my fingers against the scratched wood surface of the bar. “I’m one hundred percent not picky about beer.”
“I’ll drink to that.”
The beers arrive, and Shaw thanks the bartender then slaps some bills on the counter. “So what do you think of our small town so far?” He raises his glass to take a drink.
I swallow some of the beer. “Can’t complain. The people here are great,” I say, flashing back to the market yesterday, and yeah, I’m thinking of Perri, but I’m also thinking of all the people I met while working my sister’s baked goods booth.
“Yeah? Have you met a lot of folks yet?”
“Definitely. At the market yesterday, a lot of my sister’s regulars were welcoming, asking me questions, wondering if I needed anything, could they help, et cetera.”
Shaw cocks a brow. “That so?”
I laugh lightly. “Does that surprise you?”
“Were they, by chance, female?”
I picture the long line of volunteers yesterday then concede his point. “Fine, most were.”
“Were they interested in helping you find your way to the hardware store or sort out your utility bill, or was it making sure you don’t get snatched up by some other lady in town first?”
The Feel Good Factor Page 5