Nameless

by Marni MacRae

  After shopping for thirty minutes and weighing the pros and cons of all the options available, I settled on what I thought would be the most logical choice for what I intended to present to Eve.

  Consequently, the one latte stand had a long line, so by the time I paid for the two caramel macchiatos and headed to the Thornton estate, it was five minutes till eleven. I would be right on time.

  I don’t know why I feel so antsy. So I haven’t seen her for a day. She can get along without me. I know this, and I also know that my tendency to protect her borders on hovering. The last thing I want to do is become a mother hen, or smother Eve with my…with my what? Obsession? Attraction?

  I take a deep breath and blow it out. As I pull down the long drive, I take a mental step back and have to laugh. I’m nervous and it doesn’t suit me. I’m making a big deal out of little things and over-analyzing. That’s not in my nature. I’m a doer. A fixer. I don’t over-analyze or rehash my feelings. This last week has me spent emotionally. I just need to relax and be myself.

  Dude, best plan ever.

  I shut the engine off and climb down from the truck, reaching back in for the coffees before shutting the door. I hope Eve has heard me pull up because balancing the cups to knock might get tricky. No sooner does the thought surface than I hear the lock turn, and the door opens to reveal the petite brunette.

  It’s like she is brand new. I catch my breath and feel myself searching for words before I cough and thrust a latte toward her. “Good morning.”

  “Good morning!” Eve looks calm and happy. She’s wearing jeans and a pale, yellow blouse. Her hair is pulled into a ponytail, and she flashes a smile that lights up her golden eyes. “Mmm, coffee, my new favorite liquid.”

  “And that sentiment has made Starbucks a tidy billion or two.”

  “Starbucks? Billion…DOLLARS?! Who is this Starbuck person, and does he really have a billion dollars? Is there even that much money in the world?”

  I step into the cool interior of the home and sigh happily. I had missed her questions. Her curiosity. The very freshness of her spirit.

  “Yup, many, many billions out there. Actually, did you know that there are over seven billion people on earth?” It crosses my mind that she may not have a grasp of the human population if the number one billion impresses her so much.

  “NO. Really? Well, that’s something to chew on.” She shakes her head as she leads me back to the kitchen and perches on a stool at the tall island. “Seven billion people. Hmmm. I’m not sure how many I thought there were, but that number is…boggling.”

  “Boggling indeed.”

  “And Starbuck has a billion dollars? Not even enough to give every person one dollar, but still, that too is boggling.”

  I chuckle and prop myself against the edge of the island, leaning in close enough to smell the soap on her skin. “Starbucks is a coffee business. They sell these.” I hold up my latte and take a sip. “They originated out west in Seattle and became a hit. People love coffee. Starbucks made billions.”

  “Ah, I see.” Eve sips from her cup and closes her eyes as the warm liquid slides down her throat. “Mmm…worth every penny.”

  “Agreed.” I pull up a stool next to her and sit down. After setting down my coffee, I reach into my jacket pocket and pull out the package I had picked up for her on the way over. “For you.”

  Eve looks at it for a moment and then eyes me. “Nick, I really don’t want a gift. You know how I feel about…”

  “Wait,” I nod in agreement and gesture to the box. “It’s not a gift. It’s business. Almost all of my guys on site have one, and you’ll need it if you choose to work for me. If you decide not to take the job, you can give it back, though I prefer you just keep it.”

  Eve narrows her eyes as if she senses I am trapping her, but finally capitulates and reaches for the small box. The lid comes off easily, and she laughs aloud. “A phone?”

  I nod and take the small flip phone from the box to demonstrate its basic features to her, but Eve doesn’t stop laughing. She lays her arm on the kitchen island and buries her head for a minute, her shoulders shaking as the laughter rolls out of her.

  “Umm…I’m missing something.”

  “Oh, no, you couldn’t know,” she gasps through her chuckles. Finally, she slides from her perch and grabs a brown book from the little bay window table. Her laughter subsiding to a few hiccups, she hands me the book and nods to me. “Read the first line.”

  I watch her as she dabs at her eyes with a napkin and then reaches for her coffee once more. I raise an eyebrow but do as I am bid and flip open the book to the first page. I realize at once it is a journal, and I hesitate, not wanting to breach her privacy. I look up, and Eve nods at the book.

  “First line. Can’t miss it.”

  I return my eyes to the book and see why she laughed. Things I know: I don’t like phones. Or Pepsi.

  “Phones made your list? How did that happen?”

  I hand the book back to her without reading further. It’s clearly a personal journal and I want to respect that. But my curiosity is piqued.

  “You.” She places the journal on the island beside me, stepping forward to reach it, she’s almost standing between my legs, looking up at me with that soft golden gaze of hers.

  “Me?” I reach out without thinking, running on instinct and a need to touch her. I run my fingers down her cheek to her jaw, watching as her eyes close and she takes in a breath.

  “Yes.” It comes out on an exhalation. “You. This. The phone, last night.”

  She opens her eyes, and the gold there is smoldering. A liquid metal that seems alive and swirling.

  “It was cold and distant.” Eve continues. “Not warm and…alive.”

  She places her hands on my thighs, and I suck in a breath at the heat coming from them. I can feel her warmth through my jeans, and she slides the fire toward me as her hands run up my legs. Eve takes a step forward, then another, her eyes never leaving mine, her hands burning me, melting me as they reach my hips and slide up and around to my lower back.

  I get her point thoroughly. No contact through the phone. No life or touch. I don’t blame her for hating it if this is what she was comparing it to.

  She‘s right against me now, my legs on either side of her body, her stomach pressed up to the center of me and I’m certain she can tell how her touch affects me. Eve leans forward and rises up on her toes, her breasts pressing through her blouse against my chest, her face tilted up to mine, and I am gone.

  I can’t think or reason or even answer her in any way but with action. I lift her up, my hands at her waist, sliding her along me until we are face-to-face. Then everything changes, like a key turning in a lock, something is released, and we both move toward each other. My mouth is on hers before I can form the thought to move, her legs are around my waist, and I slide off the stool and turn, placing her on the island, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her closer. We’re almost one person we are so tightly clung together, and I can’t get enough.

  Her hands are in my hair at my neck, and she moans. I feel myself harden further. I can’t imagine getting through this day without having her, getting through another minute without claiming her completely. I fumble with the buttons on her blouse, trying to work them through their holes, but they are tiny and I am mindless with heat. Eve’s hands move mine, and I sober a bit, thinking I’ve gone too far, that she is pushing me away, to not cross that line. But she skillfully unbuttons her blouse in seconds, and my eyes take in the pale, bare skin at her throat, the swell of her breasts in a plain white bra, and then the blouse falls to the counter behind her.

  She’s grasping my shirt, pulling me to her, her eyes catching mine. They are fire. A golden storm. Her mouth is open slightly, red from use and the heat of blood, and I can see she knows where this leads. I see the need in her that reflects my own, and every cell in me awakens. I lift her from the counter into my arms and stride down the hall to the stairs.
r />   Chapter 21

  I hadn’t intended this. I awoke this morning looking forward to seeing Nick. Had missed him terribly yesterday as if there was a hole in me larger than my absent memory. When I opened the door to him this morning, that hole was filled and I felt like I was complete again. Even with the amnesia and the uncertainty that surrounds my life, it has become almost normal. As if this is who I am, like being a blonde or a brunette. I am Eve. I am without a past.

  But I have found over the space of five days that more than missing me, who I was, I miss Nick when he is not near. I questioned it yesterday after being apart for so long and the phone call that felt so distant and strange. Perhaps I imprinted on him, or he on me, when he found me in the rain. Like how babies imprint on their mothers when they are born.

  But this is not a childlike feeling I have toward Nick. This is deeper and fuller. It tangles in every space inside me. It’s like drinking water after a long thirst. He heals me, soothes me. He is my nourishment. I could argue that I am not dependent upon him, that I don’t need him. But I would be lying.

  I hadn’t meant to end up here, lying on my bed with his mouth on me. I had meant to touch him, to feel the strength of his form and the heat that always warms me. But as soon as my hands touched his legs and he tensed, a part of me I have never experienced as Eve awoke and took over.

  Nick’s mouth on mine consumes my senses, and I reach toward him with my whole body, arching up against him even as he presses down upon me. I can taste his desire on his mouth, I can feel his need against my leg, and I press harder clinging to his shoulders as a moan escapes me. My center is burning with an urgency that I have no words to describe. I can feel my heartbeat in every cell, and I gasp for air as a thrumming begins between my legs. I open my mouth to him and he is there, kissing me, tasting me, his hands in my hair hold me still as I turn my head and arch against him again.

  “Nick.”

  I don’t know what to ask for, I just want him. He slows and looks into my eyes, stilling above me. Running one hand down to my breast, he presses against my heart, rubbing a thumb over my hardened nipple causing me to gasp.

  “Eve. If you want me to stop, now is the time to tell me.” His voice is rough, and I can see he is exerting a great amount of self-restraint.

  “Please don’t stop.” He is so close, my breath hits his lips, our eyes locked together in agreement and need.

  “This is too fast, Eve. We’re diving in too deep, too fast.”

  He has moved to prop himself at my side, but our bodies are still touching, aligned along each other's forms, my leg is thrown over his, and his large, warm hand is at my waist, pulling me up against him, keeping me close.

  “I would give my world to not stop.”

  I know he means it. I know he is being as honest as I feel. And I know he cares enough to do the right thing.

  “I will take your world." I whisper it and reach up to touch his face, his strong jaw, the full bottom lip I must sample again. I lean into him and repeat the words against his lips before I taste him. “Please don’t stop.”

  Our mouths take each other again with appetite, and he seems to have let go of a leash that had held him back before. Reaching around to my back, Nick releases the clasp on my bra, and I move away from him just far enough to shrug out of it. When I reach to pull him back to me, he clasps my hand and kisses me pressing until I am on my back with him above me once again.

  His mouth moves down my neck, leaving fire and burning as he goes. I’m so heated by his touch, his mouth, that I am sure I will burst into flames. His mouth continues until it’s upon my breast, and I lift toward him, my body moving of its own volition, wanting more of what he is providing.

  His hands leave mine and travel along my sides until they are at my waist. For a moment he rises above me, his stormy gray eyes taking in my form, traveling up my body until they hold mine. He stills for a moment, and something in his expression changes.

  I sit up, my hands reaching for him, and he cups my face, running a thumb along my cheekbone.

  “You’re beautiful.” His voice is husky and quiet. Almost reverent.

  I lean into him, my hands tugging at the hem of his shirt, pulling it up to his waist until he grasps it and pulls it over his head. I marvel for a moment at his broad shoulders, the tan skin, strong chest, and the heat that envelops me when I lay my hand over his heart. I look up into his eyes and repeat a third time what I want most.

  “Please don’t stop.” When his mouth takes mine this time, it is slow. The passion is still there but with less abandon, more intent. His fingers tug the buttons on my jeans releasing their grasp, loosening the fabric that has become too restricting. He pushes the material over my hips and then gently lays me back down his mouth never leaving mine. My hands travel down his chest, over a hard stomach to his waist, and I mimic his movements, releasing the button at the top.

  Before I can move further, he rises and slides off the bed, shedding the rest of his clothing, then reaches to my feet to pull my jeans down along my legs. Before I can feel the temperature of the room, Nick is alongside me, his long, strong legs tangled in mine. His skin aligning against my body, licking lightning through my cells that sparks me into fire. His thigh presses at my center, and I gasp, my body responding without thought, pushing against him, my hands clasping his shoulders, my mouth on his neck, and I hear myself cry out. Not a moan, or even a word, just a release of feeling and need.

  I am on my back again, Nick’s mouth on my breast, then at my throat, and then he looks up, his eyes focusing, his smoky gaze full of passion and heat like my own, but there is a gentleness there I didn’t expect.

  “Nick.” His name escapes me on a breath, and I feel him slide between my legs, his arousal pressing into me, my heat enveloping his. Leaning down he kisses me softly.

  “Eve,” A whisper, almost a moan, and he presses forward. His thrust is matched with his mouth descending on mine, so that my scream is captured there. The pain is sharp but brief, and he stills completely.

  Nick raises his head, his eyes asking the question we both know the answer to.

  “Eve,” he says again, almost sadly, as if he has hurt me or taken something precious. But I shake my head, refusing him anything but what this is.

  An answer.

  I am—was a virgin. I have no husband or child left behind. In a split-second, Nick gave me the freedom to be Eve. Fully. The largest fears holding me back have now melted away. I am Eve.

  “I am yours,” I say it softly but clearly. My eyes smiling with my mouth as I move against him. “Please don’t stop.” I will beg him if he makes me, but my movement is met with his, and his mouth takes mine in a crushing kiss that is followed by a thrust.

  I arch into him and feel my world begin to change. I feel the fire licking through my veins, and we begin to move together. A dance that feels almost desperate but controlled enough to reach a peak. I feel the climax teasing me, my hands run into Nick’s dark hair, and I wrap my legs around him, encouraging every sensation that teases through me. I hear myself call out again, and Nick covers my mouth with his as we peak together, stars bursting inside me. Nick’s grasp on my waist is firm, holding me to him, our skin slick and clinging, and for a brief moment we become one person before the lightning fades and I find my breath again.

  * * *

  We lay together quietly for some time. I almost feel like I am going in and out of sleep. My head is tucked under Nick’s chin, my mouth almost touching his collarbone. I can smell his scent all around me like a storm that has passed, warm rain on a summer night.

  For a while, I am content to just feel him wrapped around me. Our legs tangled together, his arm draped over my waist. We lie on our sides facing each other, but even lying down I feel he towers over me. His size is like a secure wall that surrounds me and keeps out the bad things.

  As the heat begins to fade, I can feel the cooler air of the room drying the sweat on our skin, and I pull back gently to ali
gn my view with his face. He has been so still I wonder if he is sleeping.

  He is not. His eyes are clear and focus on mine at once. The gray a cool, comforting shade that almost shines like silver. We stare at each other in comfortable silence. His eyes roaming my face as mine do his until they finally light on my mouth, and he lowers his head toward me. I press against him to scoot up closer and meet his kiss. As our mouths meet, I hear a low growl escape his throat.

  Pulling back from him, I feel his arousal between us and raise an eyebrow.

  “I think we should skip the barbeque.”

  I am startled into a laugh. And the movement it brings makes him growl again as he reaches around my waist, pulling me tightly to him.

  “We promised Lee,” I murmur, the words getting caught against his mouth as he descends upon mine.

  I am lost again for a moment in the taste of him. I feel my own heat igniting once more and press my breasts into his chest, wrapping my arms around his back. Nick captures my bottom lip, giving it a little nip, and I gasp. Within the blink of an eye, he rolls with me atop him, his hands kneading my breasts, my hair falling around our faces in a curtain.

  I can feel my desire rising, and all thoughts of the barbeque and promises are gone. With my hands on his chest, I push myself away briefly, finding his heat with my center and lowering myself onto him. It’s his turn to gasp as his eyes spark, and I begin to move. His hands are on my waist, but they don’t guide me. He lets me find my way, fulfill my craving, and move with my own rhythm.

  Knowing this is new to me, I am amazed my body behaves as if it understands exactly what it wants and how to get it. I move on him slowly, feeling the build burn, our eyes fastened to each other. As I climb to my peak, I can see Nick journey with me. His grip tightens on my waist, and I find myself almost blind with need. I close my eyes, lifting my head skyward, and let the lightning lick at me again. This time we both cry out together, and I feel him climax inside me as my heat surrounds and clenches at him.