by Alys West
Rachel didn’t know what to say. She’d lost her dad in tiny painful increments as hope for his recovery was extinguished. She knew the unbearable agony of that and she wouldn’t wish it on anyone. She couldn’t ease the pain Jenna was going through but there was one thing she could do which might, far too belatedly, help.
“There’s something you need to see,” she said. She took the stairs slowly, her legs aching with every step. In her bedroom, she kneeled by the bookshelf and took out the black folder with the unicorn on the front. Holding it to her chest like a shield she returned downstairs.
“I’ve got something of Nina’s. Something I should have given back after she died.” She perched on the edge of the sofa next to Grace and held the folder out to her. “I want Jenna to have it. Will you give it to her?”
“Is that The Spiral Path?” Grace’s voice was a little too high.
“Yes.”
“Rachel. I have to ask, why have you got it?”
Hugging the folder to her, Rachel told the tale of what happened on the night Nina died, of what she’d seen and what had happened because of what she’d seen.
“You have to tell Jenna.” Grace gripped her hand. “She needs to hear this from you. And you need to tell the police too.”
“The police?” Rachel’s stomach knotted. “But I can’t! Nina said I could never talk about magic.”
“There are bits you’ll have to miss out but I’ll help with that.” Grace picked up the teapot and topped up her mug. “The police have arrested Ewan but they’ve not charged Felicity yet. If it’d help, I’ll come with you to the police station?”
“Really?” Telling the police would be terrifying but she’d face it if it’d help put Felicity away. Anything to stop the bitch threatening folk again. “You’d do that?”
“Of course. I’m going to be staying for a while. There’s nothing spoiling at home. Luke, that’s my nephew, is taking care of my dogs and he’ll make sure the garden’s watered.” Grace rested her hand on the folder. “But that’s by the by, the first thing is for you to tell Jenna what happened and give her this.”
Rachel twisted her ring. “Do you think she’ll be angry I didn’t tell her before?”
“I honestly don’t know. Her emotions are going to be all over the place. She’s dealing with such a lot. But I’ll go with you if that’d help?”
“Seriously?” Rachel let the folder fall forwards. It landed on her knees, the unicorn looking up at her. “Won’t Jenna need you?”
“Can’t I be there for both of you?” Grace’s eyes were glassy with tears. “We all loved Nina. Isn’t it time to forget about everything but that?”
***
“Skara Brae’s over there.” Finn pointed towards a row of green hummocks in the corner of the bay. The sand was pearly grey, stretching in a wide arc, bounded by dunes topped with sparse grass. A quartet of black ducks bobbed on the waves a few feet off shore.
“You didn’t bring me out here to show me Skara Brae.” Zoe turned into the wind, grasped her hair and wound it into a ponytail.
“No, I brought you here to talk.”
Last night, when he’d seen her waiting in the tearooms’ car park for the paramedic, he’d hugged her so hard she could barely breathe. All he’d said was, “Thank God you’re safe.” She’d known from the set of his jaw that wasn’t it, that he’d far more to say and she probably wasn’t going to like it. There’d been no chance after that. The ambulance crew arrived shortly after the paramedic, the police fifteen minutes after that. Finn had held her hand while the sergeant asked her questions and driven her back to the B&B in loaded silence. She’d been too tired to do anything but fall into bed. She’d slept way past breakfast time which was fine as she wasn’t hungry.
“I’m sorry, okay?” She turned to face him, the wind pressing her cagoule flat against her body. “I couldn’t bear Jenna to be as scared as I was. I could have come back to tell you and Winston when I couldn’t get through on the phone but then I’d have lost them and we wouldn’t have known where she was.”
“Let’s walk.” The wind blew his hair back from his face, highlighting the sharp planes of his cheekbones. Zoe hurried to catch up and he moderated his long stride to match her shorter one. “I never want to stop you doing anything. Loving someone shouldn’t be like that. But if anything had happened to you…”
“That’s why I didn’t leave like you wanted me to. I couldn’t go back to the B&B and wait quietly for you. It would have been utter hell. I knew I’d be in the way if I stayed but I figured it’d be alright to watch from a safe distance like I did on Belstone Tor. I never expected…”
“None of us expected. That was the trouble. We were all so focused on Rachel we never looked twice at Felicity.”
“She looked twice at you though.”
“What?”
“She was flirting with you when we arrived at the party.” Zoe put her hand on his arm and he turned towards her. “Didn’t you notice?”
“No. Only person I want to flirt with is you.”
“That is adorable.” She raised herself on her tiptoes and he lowered his head to meet her lips. The kiss was brief. As he pulled away, she took a deep breath which smelt of salt and seaweed. “You can’t ask me not to fight because I’m a woman. This is the twenty-first century. Women fight alongside men all the time.”
“It’s not because you’re a woman. It’s because you don’t have any magic and you’ve no way to defend yourself.”
“But that doesn’t mean I’m useless! I helped Jenna. Between us we stopped Felicity.” Zoe looked past his shoulder and out to sea. “Although to be fair, we couldn’t have done it without Nina’s birds.”
“What if Ewan had found you there? What if Felicity had recognised you?” Finn took her elbow and turned her to look at him. “Based on what the police said, Ewan’s a known criminal. He took a knife to Jenna. He’d have done the same to you.”
“I do know that! Don’t you think all of those things went through my head! I didn’t do any of this lightly.” Tears slid down her cheeks and she turned away, letting the wind take them. “I knew I was taking risks, big risks and that I might get hurt but I couldn’t not do it.”
“Because of Maeve?” Finn moved until he was facing her. “Because of what she did to you?”
“I guess. I haven’t really thought about it. I’ve been so worried about you and what with the move to Donegal and trying to find some work and…” She tried to swallow the lump in her throat but the emotion pulsed past, swamping the walls she didn’t know she’d built to hold it. “I couldn’t let Jenna be as scared as I was.”
Finn gathered her to him. She leaned into him and cried, letting the fear from yesterday flow away and take with it some of the trauma from Beltane.
When she stopped Finn put his fingers under her chin and raised it until she met his gaze. “I’m sorry too, okay? I’ve been so caught up with my own stuff from Glastonbury that I’ve not been there for you.”
“That’s alright.” Zoe sniffed and rifled through her pockets looking for a tissue. “It was worse for you. She wanted to kill you.”
“There’s no worse in this. It was fucking terrifying for both of us. We’ve both got scars.” His hand slid from the inside of her elbow to the faint lines on her wrists. She twisted her hand and pressed her fingers against the scar on his palm. “Inside and out.”
“Possibly I’ve got more inside than I realised.” Zoe attempted a smile. “But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do it again. I can’t promise to stay out of trouble just so you don’t have to worry about me. I don’t ask that of you.”
“Shit, Zo!” His grip on her hand tightened. “I can’t lose you.”
“I’ve no intention of you losing me. I promised I wouldn’t do anything reckless and I didn’t.”
“Apart from slashing car tyres, throwing stones and whacking Felicity on the head with a sculpture of Thor.”
“That was Thor? In what universe?”
>
“I wouldn’t mention that to Jenna right now, sweetheart. She’s got enough to deal with.”
“Jenna made it? Oh shit!” Zoe’s hand covered her mouth. “I didn’t know. It was just the closest thing to hand—”
“When you needed something to beat Felicity senseless with! Remind me to remove all books and clay objects when we have a fight.”
“Is that why you brought me out here?” Zoe’s gesture took in the width of the bay and the expanse of sea beyond it.
“I brought you out here so we could talk without Winston barging in.”
“Have you seen him this morning?” He’d not been around when Zoe woke up.
“He didn’t come back.”
“I’m glad. Jenna needs him.” She glanced up at Finn. “Are we good? I mean, I’ll walk up and down this beach for as long as it takes but I’m actually really hungry now.”
He dropped a quick kiss on her cold lips. “We’re good. With any luck, things will go back to normal now or at least what passes as normal for a druid and a seer. Although I said that after Glastonbury and—” He glanced at her face. “What?”
“It’s just that I’ve got this really strong feeling. Usually I’d dismiss it but Grace said I should pay attention to everything, even something like this.”
“She’s right. What is it?”
“That what’s happened here is only a small part of it. Whatever it is.” Zoe’s hands twisted around each other. “I can’t see that, but I know it’s bigger. Much, much bigger.”
Chapter 57
The days that followed were a blur. One constant thought ran through them keeping Jenna distracted and listless during the day and awake all night. Dad was gone.
There were decisions to be made. So many bloody decisions. About the funeral, the teashop, bank accounts, the bungalow. The police returned expecting her to make a statement. She couldn’t remember what she said. When they left, she went back to sleep. The paramedic had given her more painkillers plus a stern talking to about staying out of trouble while her body healed. She nodded because that was what was expected but barely heard them. Dad was gone. Nothing else mattered.
Winston was there. One morning, she’d no idea which one, she’d insisted he go back to work. There was nothing he could do, nothing anyone could do. Some nights he held her while she cried. The worst storms she traversed alone, locked in the bathroom, curled up on the cold tile floor.
Grace appeared one morning with her small case, announced she was staying until after the funeral and took over. Meals appeared which Jenna couldn’t bring herself to eat. The undertaker came and left with answers to his many questions. The solicitor was provided with tea and small talk before he delicately turned the conversation to wills and probate.
Zoe and Finn turned up most days. Finn walked Jet, ferried Jenna to medical appointments and popped into her flat to feed Mansie. Zoe darted about doing the jobs Grace couldn’t manage. She even did a few shifts in the tearooms when they were short staffed. She assured Jenna she was happy to help, joked that being an aspiring artist in London had taught her to be a damned fine waitress. Jenna made sure Nicky paid her. Zoe had already risked too much and she hadn’t the words to thank her.
Hal appeared one evening. Was it Wednesday? She wasn’t sure. She poured out everything; about Nina, about magic, about Felicity, about the coercion spell. She wouldn’t lose him again by keeping secrets but, as she stopped talking, she saw the shuttered look come down. He asked one question about Rachel and then left. Grace said it was a lot for his engineer’s brain to take in and she should give him time. Then, one morning, Nicky told her Cassie had arrived and she stopped expecting him to come again.
At some point she remembered to ask about Andrew and Felicity. Andrew had gone back to Aberdeen and taken the boys with him. Felicity had been charged with abduction and was out on bail. Ewan had been charged as well and taken to Glasgow for questioning about other crimes.
Grace tracked her down one afternoon as she sat in the dining room with her laptop open trying to get together the information the solicitor had requested.
“There’s someone here to see you.” Grace rested her hip against the dining table as she spoke.
“Can’t you—”
“Not this one, pet. It’s Rachel Sinclair. There’s something—”
“No, there’s no way I’m seeing her.” Jenna’s hands shot up. “If she hadn’t kicked off at the party then none of this would have happened and Dad would still be here.”
“You don’t know that, pet.” Grace slowly made her way around the table and put her hand on Jenna’s shoulder. “We can never know what might have happened if one thing had played out differently. Rachel’s got something to give you.”
“I don’t want it.” Jenna scrubbed her hands over her face to wipe away the tears. “Whatever it is I don’t want it.”
“Alright, pet. I’ll tell her. But I think she’s coming to the funeral so you’ll have to see her there.”
“But she didn’t know Dad.”
“Rachel said she met him a few times when she visited. And she really cared about Nina.”
Jenna blew her nose on a scrap of tissue. “Everyone cared about Mum.”
***
A week after Cassie’s arrival Hal booked a table at Hildaland, the only decent restaurant in Stromness. He suggested they walk down to The Commercial for a drink before they went to eat. It’s what they often did in Toronto, a stroll through their neighbourhood to a bar, followed by a bite to eat at the local Italian or Thai. He needed things which felt the same, even if the setting was different, because their relationship didn’t.
He wasn’t sure if it was the time apart or the fact they’d split before he left but they weren’t right. They didn’t fit anymore. They’d made love but he’d not felt much as they did it. His mind kept wandering away to Jenna, to how she’d looked when he’d seen her, what she’d told him about her mum, magic and the deaths of The Order. He needed time to process and there wasn’t space to do that when Cassie wanted his undivided attention. He didn’t blame her for that, she’d come a long way to see him. It wasn’t her fault that things, inexplicable things, had happened while they’d been apart.
Arriving at The Commercial, he held the door open for her and followed her down the passage to the bar. It smelt of beer and floor polish and always reminded him of sneaking in here with Kenny when they were both too young to buy a drink.
The bar was about half full. He nodded to a few people he knew as he found a table for them. As he pulled a chair out for Cassie, he was aware of attention on them, of curiosity about the arrival of his Canadian girlfriend. In a flowery summer dress, yellow cardigan and heeled sandals she looked like an exotic bloom.
Rachel was behind the bar, chatting to a couple of tourists as she pulled their pints. The last time he’d seen her she’d been recovering from turning into a human whirlpool. That was before Grace, and then Jenna, tried to convince him magic was an actual thing. Bearing all of that in mind, he wasn’t sure what an appropriate conversational opener would be. “How are you?” seemed a bit weak.
Rachel took a twenty-pound note from one of the tourists, opened the till and handed him his change. She turned to Hal and her face froze into the same kind of awkward he felt.
“Hi,” he said. “How are you doing after, you know–”
“Better.” Rachel smiled and, for a moment, he saw a remnant of the girl she’d been when she loved his cousin. “Grace has been really good. She’s been round to see me a couple of times and she’s offered to teach me so I don’t—”
“You need that?” Hal leaned against the brass rail that ran around the top of the bar. “Teaching I mean. It’s not like instinctive?”
“Not for me it’s not.” Rachel grimaced. “The only thing I can do instinctively is what happened at the Stewarts’. Anything else needs a lot of work.”
“Oh.” He’d promised Jenna he’d keep an open mind, that he wouldn’t let his
engineer’s brain reject everything he heard as manifestly impossible. The problem was he’d have agreed to anything she asked him if it’d take the bone-deep sorrow from her eyes. “Is it like that for everyone?”
“I don’t know. You’d need to ask Grace about that.”
“Yeah, maybe.” He wasn’t sure he could handle any more conversations with Grace. He took a ten-pound note from his wallet. “Glass of pinot and a pint of Orkney Gold.”
“Have you seen Jenna?” Rachel asked as she put both drinks on the polished surface of the bar.
“Yes, about a week ago. She’s not good.”
Rachel took the money and returned with his change. She nodded towards the table where Cassie sat. “Is that your girlfriend?”
He guessed so. They’d not discussed what they were in this fragile in-between time. He settled on the simplest answer. “Yes.”
“How long’s she staying?”
“A month.” That was the plan but, unless he got his head back in the game, he’d be surprised if she did. He picked up the drinks but Rachel spoke again before he could move away.
“Thanks for what you did for me at the Stewarts’. You were kind and I needed that.”
“You’re welcome.” The words came automatically, engrained from his years in Canada, but he found he meant them. “It was good to be able to do something to help seeing as I couldn’t help—” He glanced over his shoulder at Cassie who met his gaze and smiled. Guilt formed a lump in his throat and he coughed to shift it. “I’d better go. It’s been nice seeing you.”
“Yeah. And you.”
He wound back through the tables and handed the glass of wine to Cassie.
“Who’s that?” She tilted her head towards the bar.
“Rachel. She used to go out with Kenny.”
“You seemed very friendly.” Cassie watched him over the rim of her glass as she took a sip.