Jem lifted Mina up and toward the witchlights, one hand cupped protectively around the fragile curve of her head. Happiness came easily to Mina. She crowed with delight, witchlight radiant around her ruffled cap of black hair and her round waving arms, and he was dazzled and overwhelmed by the sheer immensity of his good fortune.
“But—she’s so beautiful,” Jem said helplessly.
“And where might she get that from? I love you forever, James Carstairs,” said Tessa, leaning her dear head against his shoulder. “But you are a fool.”
Jem drew Mina back in and held her close, and she nuzzled her dimpled cheek against his, burbling to him joyfully. From the day she was born, Mina had gurgled at ceilings and walls and into the tiny caves of her cupped hands. Her gurgling grew higher pitched and more excited when she was in Tessa’s or Jem’s arms, trying to attract their attention. She talked in her sleep as her mother did. She was always talking, and Jem was always listening, and soon he would understand every word.
Their daughter was so like Tessa. Jem knew what he knew.
* * *
Janus zipped his jacket up to hide the blood as he passed a faerie stall. He’d decided he’d risked his luck long enough and he should make his way home.
“Yo, Jason,” called a black-haired vampire girl in a blue minidress. She was looking at him expectantly, but from what she’d called him, she couldn’t know him that well.
“Actually, it’s Jace,” said Janus casually, still moving for the exits.
He didn’t understand what he’d said wrong, but he understood it had been something. Instant alarm flashed across her face, and she darted away through the crowd, making it out of the Market, but even a vampire wasn’t faster than Janus. Nobody was.
He cornered her in an alleyway, backhanding her when she fought, pinning her thrashing limbs. He got his dagger to her throat, but she didn’t stop struggling.
“You’re not Jace,” said the vampire girl. “What are you? Eidolon? Shape-shifter? Herondale cosplayer?” She squinted at him.
He was going to have to break her neck, he realized. Tedious. Vampires were hard to kill, but he was still stronger than they were. “I am Jace Herondale,” he told her. It was a relief to say it to someone, even someone who was going to die. “A stronger, better Jace Herondale than you have in this world. Not that you’ll understand a word I say.”
He reached for her throat, but she was staring at him with a look of realization. “You’re from Thule,” she said. “Alec told me about this freaky other world where Clary died and everything was screwed literally to hell. And Jace was bound to Sebastian Morgenstern. You’re that Jace.”
She glared up at him defiantly, and something about her face rang a dull, funereal bell.
“I know who you are too,” Janus said slowly. “You’re Lily Chen. In my world, Sebastian killed you.”
“He did?” Lily looked outraged. “To hell with that guy. Irony intended.”
“You’re the girl Raphael Santiago started a war for.”
Lily abruptly and entirely ceased fighting. It was startling enough that Janus almost let go, but his father had trained him to be remorseless.
“What?” Her voice trembled. “Raphael?”
“When Sebastian was taking over,” Janus said slowly, lost to memory, to the time when Clary fell and the world broke, “the warlocks were gone. The faeries were with us. Sebastian asked the vampires and the werewolves to join him. Most of the vampires left were rounded up by Raphael Santiago, the head of the New York vampire clan, and Sebastian was in talks with him. Raphael was not pleased by what had happened to the warlocks, but he said he was the practical type. He wanted protection for his vampires. We thought we might be able to come to an arrangement. Only Sebastian found out you were sending secret information to a werewolf girl. He asked if you wanted to have fun with him, and you said you did.”
Janus was surprised he even remembered that time. He’d been blind with pain back then, before Sebastian made him stop thinking of Clary so often. Sebastian had said he was pathetic and useless and feeling. So he’d made it stop.
“I wish I could resist killer parties,” said Lily, “but I can’t. This is a fully plausible scenario.”
Her voice was almost absentminded. Her eyes were searching Janus’s face.
“Sebastian killed you and showed Raphael what was left. Raphael said you were stupid, and it served you right. Six hours later he led every vampire he could, and some of the werewolves, out of the talks. He set the building on fire as he went. I had to pull Sebastian out from the burning rubble. Next we heard, Raphael was with Livia Blackthorn and the resistance.”
“He’s alive?” Lily’s voice was sharp. “In your stupid, messed-up world. Raphael’s alive?”
The words burst out of her mouth. “Take me to him.”
Even though Janus had been expecting it, the words were shocking, so shocking that the truth fell from his own mouth without him meaning to say it. “There isn’t any hope for that world. Even the sun has been blotted out.”
His head ached as soon as he spoke. The pain felt like Sebastian being displeased with him, even now.
“Then bring him here,” said Lily. “Please. Go back and bring him here.”
Her hands were no longer shoving at him, but clinging to him, almost pleading.
“If I did,” Janus ground out, “what would you do for me?”
He saw her mind working, behind her watchful black eyes. She wasn’t stupid, this vampire girl.
“Depends,” she snapped. “What are you going to ask me for?”
“Let’s be clear,” Janus said. “You’d do anything for this.”
The vampire girl’s sharp face softened. She liked Jace, Janus realized. She trusted him. Some part of her still thought Janus was her friend. She was underestimating him, not on guard as she should be. She didn’t really think he would hurt her.
“I guess so,” she said. “I guess I would.” She leaned back against the alley wall. “Would it help if I told you that you were still hot?”
“Probably not,” Janus said.
“Don’t repeat that to the other Jace,” said Lily. “He shouldn’t be encouraged. You know, I think some people might find you more hot. Little less of a pretty boy, little more rugged thing going on. It’s a trade-off.”
“Most things are,” Janus agreed.
“I’m not hitting on you, by the way, I’m just making observations here.”
Janus shrugged. “Wouldn’t do any good if you were.”
“Still a one-woman man, huh?”
“Still,” Janus said very quietly.
Lily was gazing at him as if she was sorry for him. As if she could know how he felt. He wanted to put out her eyes, to stop her looking at him like that, but she might be useful.
“Let’s make a bargain,” Janus suggested. “You do me one favor, when the time comes, without asking questions, and I will do what I can to bring Raphael to your world. It isn’t going to be easy, and it will take time. You don’t tell anyone you’ve seen me. If you do, I can always send a message back to Thule telling them to kill Raphael.”
She winced.
“Do we have a deal?” Janus said.
There was a long silence. Janus could still hear the songs and bells of the Shadow Market flowing on, past this dark alley with the undead.
Then Lily said, “We have a deal.”
He let Lily leave, and followed her quietly. He saw her take out her phone, as if she might call somebody and warn them. But she didn’t. She put her phone back in her pocket.
It was almost funny. Janus knew no way back into that other world, but it didn’t matter if this girl was smart or if she wanted to be good, because she was wild and clawing and frantic to believe him. Hope made everybody a fool.
To make people obey, all you had to do was first make sure they were desperate. Janus should know that well enough. He’d been desperate for years. Don’t repeat that to the other Jace, Lily had said
. As if Janus was planning to have any conversations with the other Jace, the one from this world, the one who’d gotten lucky. Janus didn’t need to talk to him. Janus would learn everything he had to know about this world, so he could pass himself off as the other Jace.
Then he would kill this world’s version of himself and take his place. Beside Clary.
* * *
It was near dawn when Mina woke crying. Tessa stirred, but Jem dropped a kiss on her bare shoulder and murmured, “I’ll go, love.”
Tessa had suffered pains that Jem could not, bringing Mina into the world. His wife would never lose sleep with the baby while Jem was in the house. That was Jem’s privilege.
Jem crept up to Mina’s room, quiet so as not to wake Kit and to let Tessa go back to sleep.
When he reached her room, though, he saw Kit was awake. Kit was already in the baby’s room, with Mina in his arms.
“Hey,” Kit said to the baby, speaking seriously as if to a teammate. “C’mon, do me a solid, will you, Min? You’ve been waking them up all week. I bet they’re tired.”
Mina’s small face was tearstained, but she had clearly forgotten her tears before they were dry. She was smiling a gummy smile, apparently enchanted by this new experience.
“Jem always talks about how advanced you are, so how about advancing to the part where you sleep through the night?” Kit said. “I wonder if having a mom who is an immortal warlock means that you’ve been maturing faster than other babies.”
Mina had no response for this. Kit didn’t hold Mina often, though he would bend over the cradle or someone else’s arms and awkwardly offer her attention when he came into a room where she was. He did give her his forefinger to hold frequently, and now that Mina could focus better, she would hold her hands out imperiously when Kit came near. Jem was sure she knew Min-Min was Kit’s name for her, and Kit was the boy who held her hand.
Now she was bundled inelegantly in Kit’s arms, the long white woolen blanket Catarina Loss had knitted for her trailing. Kit tripped over it as he walked the floor and stumbled. Jem tensed to lunge across the room and catch them. But Kit caught himself against the wall, though he let out a curse as he did so and promptly looked horrified and belatedly tried to cover one of Mina’s ears.
“Please don’t tell Jem and Tessa I said that word in front of you!” Kit exclaimed.
Mina, who clearly thought Kit was playing a game with her, gave him another sleepy smile that split her small face, then yawned like a kitten. Kit bit his lip and hummed a broken line of a song to her, several times over. Soon she was drooling against Kit’s T-shirt, which had a design on it that Kit had informed Jem meant superheroes. Kit patted her on the back.
“There we go,” Kit murmured, sounding proud of himself. “It’s our secret.”
Jem watched Kit and Mina for a little while longer, then crept back to his room, letting Kit return to his own bed believing he’d helped Jem and Tessa to rest.
* * *
Janus kept thinking of that word, “Consul,” and Alec, and he decided he should survey the situation for himself. He couldn’t pass himself off as Alec’s parabatai if he didn’t know about Alec’s life. His father had always said that knowledge was power to be used in battle.
It was too dangerous to go to the Institute and risk someone seeing him, but Janus remembered where Magnus’s loft had been. He concealed himself and watched the door until Alec emerged. It was one of the sunny spring days in New York that was better than summer, the sky full of clear light and soft breezes.
Alec was where Alec had always wanted to be: walking easily by Magnus’s side. There were two children with them. One had very dark, short, crisply curling hair, and even though he was too young to bear Marks, there was still a suggestion of grace about him that said Shadowhunter. His small fingers were curled securely within one of Magnus’s ringed hands. Magnus’s other hand was tucked, with Alec’s, in the pocket of Alec’s ratty, unzipped hoodie. The other kid was glamoured to look like a mundane, but Janus saw beneath it to blue skin and horns. The warlock boy was up on Alec’s shoulders, laughing and kicking his feet against Alec’s chest.
It took Janus a moment to realize the strangest thing. Alec’s chest and shoulders were broader than they had been in his world. Alec had died when he was still a boy always a little afraid to be in love.
Consul, thought Janus. You must be so proud.
Janus followed as they made their way to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden, where the cherry trees were blooming. Alec and Magnus seemed to be taking these kids to the cherry blossom festival.
The kids were excited. The pink clusters of flowers formed a soft avenue around them, a pink marble arch come alive, petals falling like bright confetti into their hair. The little boy on Alec’s shoulders caught the petals in his hands. The trees provided plenty of cover so that Janus would not be seen.
There were taiko drummers under a bandstand, and people dancing in the grass. Alec set the warlock child down, and he immediately ran into the crowd of dancers and began to strike dramatic poses. Magnus went and danced with the little kid, though Magnus’s dancing did not involve any falling on his butt.
The Shadowhunter boy copied Alec, leaning against a tree with his arms folded in the same way Alec’s were, until Magnus beckoned and said, “Rafe,” and the boy’s small surly face lit up and he ran to him. Then he held Magnus’s hands and let Magnus pirouette him about, his shoes lighting up as he twirled in the dust.
Alec watched them for a while, fondly, then wandered away to buy ice creams. A couple of Downworlder teens, a young werewolf girl and a faerie boy, were waiting in the line and watched him come with nervous delight.
“It’s our Consul!” said the werewolf girl.
“He’s not technically ours,” said the faerie boy. “He belongs to the Shadowhunters who aren’t assholes. Maia is your leader and King Kieran is mine.”
“I can have a Consul as well as a pack leader if I want,” muttered the werewolf. “He’s coming right over! What do we say?”
“I cannot lie, Michelle!” said the faerie. “You know this! You have to pretend to be cool for both of us.”
Alec nodded to them, a little strained with strangers still, but trying to be friendly in a way the Alec Janus had known might not have.
Alec smiled crookedly into their silence and offered, “Hey, here for the festival?”
The faerie boy gasped out, “Yes!”
“Me too,” said Alec. “Family outing. Those are my kids over there, with my husband. Over there. That’s my husband.”
Alec said “my husband” so proudly, as if the word was a new and dearly prized acquisition with the shine still on it, something he wanted to show everybody.
My boyfriend, Clary had called Janus, a few times, and it had made him so happy to finally be hers, to think she might be proud he was hers. He’d been embarrassed to show how happy he was. He remembered the emotions now and they prickled like pins and needles, like dead limbs starved of blood finally beginning to wake up. And like pins and needles, they hurt.
“Oh, congratulations,” Michelle the werewolf said to Alec, looking as if she might cry. “Your husband. That’s so nice.”
The boy nodded vigorously.
“Um, thanks,” said Alec. “Nice to meet you. Enjoy the festival.”
He went back to his family, where the kids hailed the ice creams with great joy. Alec slid his arms around Magnus, and they danced a little together, Alec slightly clumsy in a dance as he never was in battle, but smiling, with his eyes shut and his cheek laid against Magnus’s.
The young couple wandered off with their ice creams, which were decorated with rose petals and which the faerie seemed to enjoy more than his girlfriend, chattering excitedly about the amazing experience they had just had.
Janus watched them, and when they wandered off among the trees for privacy, he let them see him.
“You’re Jace Herondale,” breathed the werewolf girl, obviously thrilled. “Jace H
erondale and Alec Lightwood. This is literally the best day of my life. I can’t wait to tell Mom.”
“Actually,” said Janus, “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anybody. You two are about the same age my friends and I were when we saved the world. I think I can trust you two. I think you could do great things. I’d love your help.”
They looked at each other with awkward, surprised enthusiasm. “Help with what?” said the werewolf.
Janus told them. It seemed to go well at first. Their eyes were shining. They wanted so badly to be heroes. He’d wanted to be one himself, once.
The werewolf girl, who seemed to know more of Alec and Jace in this world, was nodding eagerly. The faerie boy nodded less and said very little. Janus wasn’t certain of him. After he was done talking and pretended to leave, Janus swung around and quietly followed them. He could feel his Soundless rune sparking against his skin: a novel sensation after so long.
“I don’t care who he is,” said the faerie boy. “I don’t trust him. I’m going to tell the King.”
Well, win some, lose some. The important thing was knowing when to cut your losses.
Janus cut their throats and buried the two young lovers side by side under the green leaves of the springtime trees. He made sure to close their eyes and clasp the girl’s hand safe in the boy’s before he smoothed the soil over them, so they were sleeping peacefully together. He gave them the death he would have wanted for himself.
* * *
Mina woke early in the morning. This time Jem got to her first, before Kit or Tessa had a chance to stir. Mina smiled with surprised delight when she saw Jem’s face over the side of the crib, as if she’d worried that this time he wouldn’t come.
“There is never any need to worry, Mina mine,” said Jem. “Silly melon.”
He dressed her in the red romper with a blue rabbit on the front that Magnus had sent them, then put her in his front pack. Mina cooed excitedly as he did so. She loved an outing.
They walked together through the woods to the village. The village was very small, and there was a great bakery they often patronized. The two ladies who ran the bakery were very welcoming.
Ghosts of the Shadow Market Page 47