by C J Murphy
Jordan’s hands went to her hips. She was used to things going off the rails. Learning to roll with the punches had become second nature. “Well Sarah, do you have some urgent, unexpected meeting that will keep you holed up in your room, or are you willing to ride shotgun on a yet unknown adventure?”
The wide grin that came across Sarah’s face said she was more than up for the challenge. “I’m amazed these two are willing to leave us to our own devices. Who knows what mayhem we can manage to get into without our handlers?”
“Mom, I’m not so sure it’s a good idea to let these two out of our sight. How much cash do you have ready for bail money?” Dava’s laugh was infectious, as they headed for the van.
Dalia crossed her arms over her chest. “I do not expect to have to visit either one of you in a police station or an emergency room. Do I make myself clear?”
Jordan and Sarah looked at each other and shrugged. Jordan raised a finger.
“I’m not kidding, Jordan Moriah Armstrong. Do I need to make myself any clearer? I’ve bandaged up enough of your mishaps.”
Sarah tried to smother a laugh by coughing when Dalia turned her steel gray eyes on her. Jordan burst out in a deep belly laugh, and Dalia cracked a smile. They pulled into the hotel, and within minutes were standing in the hallway outside their rooms.
Dalia pulled Jordan into a hug and kissed her cheek. “I’ll see you for breakfast before we spread out to the wind. Sleep well.”
Jordan decided to look back over the clues that had led her to Acadia. Maybe I’m missing something. Carefully, she went back over each clue and the coding of it. She hadn’t missed anything. The clues had brought her to Acadia, however the memorial was still concealed. She’d received no message from the world beyond, as yet. This can’t be the end of it. If it was, why would all the other memorials have been revealed to her? She closed the leather-bound notebook full of clues and observations and rubbed her eyes. Sleep might be hard to come by. If it came, she hoped that it would offer guidance if not rest.
***
The next morning, Jordan met her family for breakfast. She and Sarah decided they might take a bike ride around Eagle Lake. Riding was one of the things she’d missed during her quest. Back in Ithaca, it was her main form of transportation and a prime source of her mental wellbeing. After agreeing to check back with Dava and Dalia around three in the afternoon, Jordan and Sarah took the van and headed to the Bar Harbor Bicycle Shop.
Jordan watched something she couldn’t identify cross Sarah’s face. It seemed she was deep in thought, chewing absently on her cheek. It was something Jordan had seen her do when she was contemplating something she needed to come to terms with.
“Penny for them.” Jordan watched Sarah startle a bit. She smiled sheepishly at Jordan, while she ran her hand across her short spiky hair.
“Do you…” Sarah stopped.
“Sarah, there is nothing you could say to me that would make me upset unless you were thinking about breaking my sister’s heart. Take a chance.”
Sarah took a deep breath and blew it out between pursed lips. “I want to ask Dava to marry me.”
Jordan’s grin eclipsed her face. She pulled the van to the side of the road at a beautiful overlook and reached across the console to place a steadying hand on Sarah’s shoulder. “Let’s step outside and I’ll play devil’s advocate. Or in this case, let me play my sister and the myriad of things she is going to say to you.”
Sarah laughed and unbuckled her seatbelt. They stepped out and found a place to sit overlooking the harbor as water rolled into the rocks.
Jordan started the dialogue. “I don’t want to become a burden to you.”
Sarah sat up a little straighter and squared her shoulders. “We’ve been dating over a year, and not for one second have I felt burdened. If I’ve learned anything dating you, it’s that you know full well how to take care of yourself.”
“I’ll get sick and end up being a big burden.”
“And we’ll go to the doctor and you’ll get well.”
“I’ll hold you back from doing things you want to do.”
Sarah narrowed her eyes at Jordan. “Like what? I’ve never felt like I’ve been cheated out of anything, unless it’s more time with you.”
Jordan chuckled. “Nice one. That will earn you a slap on the shoulder, just saying. Okay, back to it. We’ve never lived together on a day-to-day basis. My life requires a lot of adaptation.”
“Everyone’s life requires some adaptation. I’m allergic to bees, so I carry an EpiPen. You aren’t an invalid, and I have no intention of treating you like one. You will be my wife, not my obligation.”
“I might become an invalid, Sarah. My condition won’t get better. Over time, I’ll have more issues. How will you cope with that?” Jordan knew these questions were hitting Sarah hard. She also knew that Dava would throw every one of these at her and probably some she wouldn’t think of. Sarah had to have responses that would show Dava she understood exactly what she was getting into.
“And tomorrow I might get sick too. We’re human with all the fallibilities that entails. Becoming sick or dying is a when not an if, Dava. If the roles were reversed would you walk away from me? Would this be a consideration in your mind, or would you stand here resolute in the love you have for me? Isn’t that what it means when you vow to love, honor, and cherish, in sickness and in health?”
Jordan watched as Sarah’s eyes flashed. Oh, little sister, you are so wrong if you think you can scare her away. Jordan drew Sarah in and held her, allowing her to let the tears flow and wash away the fear of rejection. She held her there for a long time until Jordan could tell the butch in Sarah needed to pull herself together. “You alright?”
Sarah’s fierce determination quickly returned. She shook her hands and pulled at her shirt front as if to dispel heat. “I am. Hit me with the next one. I know my girl, and this isn’t all she’s worried about. You know it and I know it.”
“No, you’re right. Okay. Ready?” Jordan waited for Sarah to shake off the release and gird herself with her truth. “What if, over time, you get tired of making love with someone who’s handicapped?” Jordan looked at Sarah and screwed up her face. “I know this is personal so you don’t have to answer that for me. Actually, thinking about my little sister having sex weirds me out. I’m sure she’s going to hit you with it, so you’d better have an answer.”
The crimson blush reached well into Sarah’s blond scalp. She coughed and tried not to laugh. “Jordan, all I’m going to say is that we have that part worked out. Your sister…”
Jordan put one finger in her ear and the other over Sarah’s mouth. “La, la, la…Just keep that answer ready. Dava needs to know that one, I don’t. I have no doubt you two can figure something out, or already have.” Jordan shook herself and laughed with Sarah. “Next question. What about kids? You’re great with them, and I know you want them. That’s not possible for me after my surgery.” Dava had developed severe endometriosis in her early twenties, requiring a complete hysterectomy. Jordan had sat with her through hours of painful flare-ups and doctor’s visits before the last resort had been necessary.
“Dava, do you know how many amazing kids with special needs are out there waiting for good homes? With all that we know and your incredible mother and sister, you think we couldn’t open our home to one or more of them? You and I would give our child every advantage when it came to living up to their potential. I think Dalia wants grandchildren, and both of her daughters are fully capable of making that happen. I happen to think we are ready for the challenge sooner than Jordan is.”
Jordan couldn’t hold back her smile. Sarah was exactly what her sister needed, and if she didn’t say yes, Jordan would lock her wheels until she saw reason. “Let me be the first to say, I’d be honored to have you as my sister-in-law.”
Sarah walked back to the van and pulled out her backpack. She motioned Jordan to come over and opened a navy-blue velvet box. Inside sat a gorge
ous diamond ring.
“Wow, that’s beautiful.” Jordan gently touched a finger to the stone.
“It was my grandmother’s. My mom loves Dava and has been giving me the stink eye for three months over asking her. I kept waiting for the right time. I think…I think I was waiting for this time. To be here when I did it.”
Jordan’s grin grew even wider. “When are you going to ask?”
Sarah looked at the ground and tilted her head to the side. “I’ve been looking online. I really like what I see about Jordan Pond House. I thought maybe we’d stop by there today and scope it out. If it feels right, make reservations for all of us tomorrow evening for dinner. I’d like you guys to be there. What do you think?”
Jordan drew her friend, and hopefully soon-to-be sister-in-law, into a hug. “I think my mom will be ecstatic to see one of her daughters tie the knot. I’ll be there to pelt you with bird seed after you say I do. Now, how about we go for that bike ride? You call the Pond House. I’ll get us to the rental shop.”
***
Noeul brushed Athena down and filled the water buckets for both horses. It was lunchtime before she got back home, and she hadn’t taken the time to eat yet. She hauled another pail of milk to the house. She’d probably gone off the mountain more in the last month than she had in years. Several things were driving her—her need to be with Kelly and Miranda, her conversations with Aggie, and her near obsession with Jordan Armstrong’s research.
Noeul looked at the black-and-white dog lying at the edge of the kitchen. “I’ve got way too much milk, Kyo, which means you and Rico get a little extra dairy for the next few days. Time to make some soap and cheese. Maybe even some yogurt.” She’d learned a variety of uses for the milk she didn’t use and kept Miranda and Kelly in handcrafted goat’s milk soap and lotion they were able to use in their rental cabins and as gift merchandise. The girls collected a variety of jars and small bottles to put the lotion in, and for the cakes of soap, Noeul ordered small, canvas, drawstring bags. It gave her something to do.
“Now, let’s see about something to eat.” She opened the refrigerator and pulled out the hardboiled eggs she’d made before she went down the mountain. “How about an egg salad sandwich and a green salad? For me, I mean. Sorry girl, you and eggs make for a noxious cloud.” Kyo wagged her tail. This is what my life has become, talking to my two friends. One’s a dog…and the other’s a ghost.
Once she’d finished lunch, she poured two quarts of the bounty from her goats into a sauce pan to heat and gathered her lemon juice. Because her milk was unpasteurized, the cheese she made would have to sit for at least two months to make sure it was safe. Being up on the mountain alone meant you didn’t cut corners. Help, if you were sick, was too far away. For the lotion and soap, she’d melt emulsifying wax and add a variety of essential oils for fragrance or other beneficial properties.
A few hours later, she’d cleaned everything up and parked herself in her Adirondack chair in the sun with a glass of wine. She pulled the leather-bound journal into her lap and began to write.
There are days when I can’t find enough things to keep me busy. Yes, I have my research and my hobbies. Unfortunately, you can only eat so much goat cheese and I’ve got an ocean of lotion. Kyo is my constant companion.
Rico jumped up in her lap in need of a soft place to rest. Noeul stretched out her legs, propped them up on a stool, and let him lay, paws up, on her shins. After a few chin scratches she went back to the journaling.
Rico felt a bit slighted at that comment. He’s here with me too.
It’s been years since I’ve climbed into bed beside another human being. My animals are great cuddlers. I’m still human, and I’m lonely. I haven’t felt this lonely since the first few years after Aggie’s death, even while I completed our bucket list.
Kelly and Miranda do all they can to keep my spirits up. I know that even they can see the restlessness.
And then there’s Aggie. All those years ago we committed to each other and spoke those famous words…til death do us part. Well, that came way too soon for what we had planned. I built this house as a tribute to her and the great love we’d shared. I want for nothing materially, Aggie made damn sure of that.
Noeul took a satisfying drink from her wine, then placed it back on the ground. She held her face to the sun, absorbing the warmth, and began to write again.
The strange thing is that everything I’ve worked for doesn’t seem like it’s enough anymore. My research fulfills me to an extent. What am I doing with it? Experimentation for the sake of activity is one thing. If I don’t share the knowledge, is my effort wasted? I keep reading Jordan Armstrong’s goal to eradicate hunger. A worthy goal. I’ve read her published materials. It’s stunning work and she’s going to make history. I keep thinking, what if I’d stayed? It’s obvious she’s built on what research I left behind. She even mentions it was her inspiration. What if I’d still been teaching as she made her breakthroughs? Would we have the answers? Maybe. And maybe it’s an old woman’s musings. What if Aggie hadn’t died, would we still be here, or would we be traveling the world on some crazy bucket-list item?
I’m back to Aggie, the woman I’ve loved for longer than I can remember. Physically, she’s gone, and I’d come to accept that. Suddenly, she starts showing up, telling me change is coming. What change? Is it anything I have a choice about?
I have more questions than I have answers. Aggie tells me there is an opportunity coming, a seeker. Who and what do they want? Questions. More questions. Didn’t I just say I was restless? Well, I certainly am. That I can fix with work. Loneliness is a totally different animal, and I have no idea what to do about that.
***
Jordan and Sarah biked around the Eagle Lake trail and found themselves having popovers with blueberry jam at the Pond House. It was a spectacular spot for what Sarah had planned. They could have dinner overlooking Jordan Pond and relax around the beautiful scenery. Jordan licked jam off her thumb and watched Sarah try to stifle a laugh. “Hey, they’re good. If you aren’t wearing it, you didn’t put enough on.” Jordan stopped and wiped her hands and mouth with her napkin. “So, what’s your plan? Talk it out with me.”
“God, Jordan. I’m as nervous as a technology virgin with a fried hard drive. I’m trying to find the right words. I know we practiced all those things, and I’m appreciative. What do I do if she still says no?” Sarah buried her face in her hands and rested her elbows on her knees.
Jordan took a deep breath and a long drink of iced tea. She looked out at the beauty of the calm water surrounded by lush vegetation rippling in the light breeze. Jordan wanted astute words of wisdom to miraculously form in her head. She couldn’t imagine Dava saying no. It was more than evident to her how much Dava loved Sarah, and she had no doubts about Sarah’s feelings. What she couldn’t shake was what had happened in her own life. Jordan had been so sure about Tina’s answer when she’d held that diamond ring up to her. It had never crossed Jordan’s mind that Tina wouldn’t say yes. She thought about why Tina hadn’t been able to. None of that was present here. There was no baggage from the past holding them apart, only Dava’s self-doubt about her ability as a lifetime partner. Jordan knew her sister better than anyone on this earth, even more than their mother. Jordan and Dava were more than sisters, they were best friends.
“Sarah, you love Dava. You love her like a partner should. You see beyond the steel, rubber, and wires that surround her. Some see her wheelchair as an anchor. The truth is, it's no different than my Jeep that transports me from point A to point B. The difference with Dava is that she must have it to move from point A.1 to A.2. Once people can see the real Dava, the chair fades. Her wheelchair has helped her travel in a world that, a hundred years ago, would have written off one of the most outstanding minds I’ve ever known. She’s smarter than both of us put together, and that far outweighs the limitations of the body she was born with. She needs you, Sarah, and you need her. It’s that simple. You’ll neve
r know the answer until you ask the question, my friend. I don’t see a coward sitting here beside me.” Jordan picked up her tea and finished it.
Sarah looked at Jordan for a long time and let a wide grin form below mischievous eyes. “Let’s get these bikes loaded and go check out a few more things before we go back. Dava sent me a text saying she’s still deep into the servers at TechFuture1. She thinks she’ll be done by our reservation time.”
“Sounds good. Mom is elbow deep in the new tell-all book about our former train wreck of a president’s impeachment and subsequent federal indictment. It was written by a member of the prosecution team, the retired Lt. Col. Bishop, who’s also one of her board members for the foundation.”
“Thank God for Robert Mueller and his investigation. I’ve met Colonel Bishop. I watched her play in the wheelchair basketball tournament your mom organized to raise funds. She’s an American hero.”
“She is to me. Margo’s been a family friend for years. Personally, I think she has a huge crush on my mom. I don’t know if anything will ever happen. I’ve learned to believe what they say—never say never.”
Sarah placed a hand on Jordan’s shoulder. “You need to listen to your own words my friend, never say never.”
“Yeah, well. Come on, let’s get these bikes back and go visit Thunder Hole.” The two women loaded the bikes into the van and a short time later stood in line at the bike shop. Flyers and pamphlets of local attractions stood in a display rack near the door. Sarah looked over the numerous options and squinted when she picked a brightly colored leaflet. She opened the pamphlet and held it closer.