by Erin Raegan
He ran his nose down the side of my face. “I just want to hold you.”
My eyes welled even more and I carefully held him back, hiding my face in his neck and kissing him there.
I completely missed the smug grin on his face or the twinkle of mischief in his eyes.
We got to our room and I squirmed away from him, running to the bathing room and wetting the cloths stacked next to the enormous depressed tub. When I came out, Killian was at the door, heatedly whispering to Oren as he pushed him out of the room. Oren looked up at me before Killian slammed the door on him, a look of pure exasperation on his face.
“Sit down,” I ordered Killian, my voice thick and hands trembling.
As he did, I gently removed his shirt, a noise of grief scraping out of my throat. He was cut all up. His chest nicked and bleeding little cuts all over. I dabbed at them, watching his frowning face carefully for any sign of pain. “Anywhere else?”
He frowned deeper, nodding. Then he stood, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down and off.
I felt my face flame as he stood before me, seeing him in all his naked glory for the first time. I licked my lips, swallowing heavily. He gently grabbed my hand holding the wet cloth and brought it to several deep cuts on his upper thigh. “Right here love.”
I pressed the cloth to the cuts, trying to clean the already scabbing wounds. “Does it hurt much?”
He made a soft sound, pushing back my hair as I cleaned him.
“I thought he was going to kill you,” I confessed, my voice shaking as I kneeled before him.
Killian scoffed then. “Fenru knew he had no chance.”
I looked up at him in surprise. “Why did he engage you then?”
Killian chuckled. “He cannot help himself.”
“Well you killed him,” I spat heatedly. “He knows better now.”
Killian pulled me to my feet, roaring with laughter. “I doubt that.” He picked me up and sat me on the bed. I sat up, patting the cloth on his chest and shoulder. I kissed beside a particularly nasty wound, marveling at how fast he seemed to be healing. It was nearly closed when just minutes ago it had been gushing blood.
Killian purred as I kissed each wound, pulling me closer and closer to his naked chest. His hands running down my spine to latch onto my backside. “He’ll be challenging me again in no time,” he murmured absently, licking along the side of my neck.
I stiffened in his arms, blinking at the wall behind him as his hands molded and squeezed my bottom, his hips thrusting against me.
“Theo?” He asked on a mumble, his mouth open against my collar bone. My hands had dropped from him, laying limply against my sides.
“He’s dead,” I said again. I saw him die.
Killian cursed and stood straight, watching me warily. “He did.”
“So—” I drawled, narrowing my eyes on him. “He won’t be challenging you again.”
Killian’s head bent and he winced at the ground. “Fenru’s kind don’t actually die.”
He said it slowly, hesitantly. His eyes watching me from under the sweat dampened curtain of his dark hair.
I sat back on my thighs, gaping at him. “He can’t die?”
“Only for a time. He’ll be revived by morn.”
My mouth was parted, no air coming in or out.
“Had he actually died, we would find ourselves in the middle of a war with a legion of unrestrained Ockdal.” Killian stepped closer to me, shutting my mouth with a claw to my chin. “Breath, sweets.”
I took in a shuddered breath. My lashes fluttering as my face heated with anger. “So you knew that whole time he couldn’t die.” I narrowed my eyes on him. “But you can?”
Killian winced again, shifting on his feet. “I knew he would not deal me a death blow.”
“But he could?”
Killian huffed a nervous chuckle. “Yes, had I been facing his forefather, I likely could have died. But Fenru does not wield the affliction his ancestors passed onto him. None in his company do unless provoked. He could not kill me on his own.”
I was shaking I was so mad.
“Theo—” Killian said, his hands up like I was going to attack him. I very well might. “It was just a bit of fun.”
“Fun.” I shut my mouth and huffed hot air out of my nose, glaring at him. “It was just a bit of fun?”
He nodded, his eyes watching me avidly, alight with fascination now. “You are angry.”
“Oh yeah,” I seethed. “I am very angry.”
I had been scared out of my mind watching them fight and the whole time they had just been a couple of egotistical males boasting and banging their chests. Cavemen.
Killian’s eyes lit with excitement and I watched, pissed beyond belief, as his lips kicked up at the corners. “You were worried,” he taunted. “For me.”
He stepped closer.
I was going to strangle the life out of him. I could feel the want in my curled fists.
“My Theo,” he purred, “worried her king was going to die.” He grinned wide, sparkling fangs gleaming in delight. “Sweets,” he crooned. “You care. You care very much for me.”
I punched him.
My fist slamming into his chest as a battle cry left my mouth. “Yes, you asshole, I care! I care if you die and I care when you make me think you could die and I care you’re reveling in it right now!”
Killian took my hit and pounced on me, pulling my thrashing body up the bed and lying on top of me. He laughed in my face as I fought against him, pulling my hands across my chest and pinning them there. I raged against him and he spread my thighs dropping his hips in between them and pressing his forehead to mine. He grinned at me, his eyes sparkling. “I love you.”
I stopped. My body slackening, and my mouth dropping back open. I looked up at him as he searched my face, his mouth spread in a soft smile. “What?”
“I love you,” he said again. “I loved you then and I love you more now. I’ll love you harder every moment I hold you close. My love for you is unrestrained and will grow boundless through the eons. You are mine, Theodora, and I am yours.”
My eyes welled, spilling over and down my temples, soaking my hair. “You love me?”
He nodded solemnly, “Very much.”
“I—I,” I stuttered, my chest filling up so full it felt like it would burst over like a broken dam. A roaring of emotion that would swallow me whole.
He kissed me. Taking my mouth fiercely, his tongue spiking in and twirling against mine. I melted under him, surrendering to him and the truth in his words.
“I’m still mad at you,” I panted against his mouth, my hands diving into his hair and pulling him closer.
“Yes,” he murmured back, rolling to his back so I was on top of him. “I accept your anger,” he told me impatiently and pulled my mouth back to his.
“I’ll be mad at you for a long time,” I warned him between frantic kisses. “This doesn’t change anything.”
“I suspect,” he said just as breathlessly, “that I will make you angry quite often.”
I nodded back, both of us frantically pushing up the skirt of my gown. “You’re really good at pissing me off.”
He chuckled a little manically, tearing the fabric with his impatient claws. “If it leads to you straddling me, I fear I will seek ways to piss you off nightly.”
I made a needy sound as the tight dress got caught around my waist. Killian scowled at it and dipped his hands under the fabric, piercing his claws straight through at my belly. It ripped, shredding in two as he pulled it, his arms bulging. The split made a whisking sound as it tore up my stomach to my chest, falling away and hanging on my arms.
The cold air in the room kissed my skin and my nipples pebbled painfully, both of them pointing at his rapt expression. He made a guttural sound and sat up, taking one inside his hot mouth, his hand curling around the other one. He squeezed as his mouth sucked and I hissed, my back bowing.
My hands dove into his silky ha
ir, pulling at the stands and beads like they loved to do when he was close. He grinned against my breast, my nipple caught in his teeth.
My hips rocked against his and he groaned, dropping my other breast to push the fabric aside. No underwear meant that the moment the fabric was torn away our skin met with nothing barring it. We both groaned at the feel of each other, my hands curling tight in his hair and pulling sharply.
I rocked against him. Killian rocked back, he grabbed my hips tight and pulled me as close as we could get to each other. He was thick and long, spreading me wide against him. The heat from him burned against me and my head dropped to his shoulder, my hands leaving his hair to curl into his broad back.
Killian’s breath shuddered against my neck, his throat bobbing as he swallowed heavily. “I’ve wanted this for too long.”
I nodded against him. Way, way too long.
He chuckled anxiously. “Now that I have you here, I fear I’m not prepared for what you will do to me.”
I blinked glassy eyes, my arms hugging him. “I’m scared too.”
He sighed, rocking my hips. Groaning and cursing. “There’s nothing for it, love. We’re going to have to do this again.”
I looked up at him in confusion. He lifted me up and inch, settling himself at my entrance. My thighs trembled, tension and anticipation causing me to clench around the wide crown of his cock. He bared his teeth at me, a sheen on his forehead. “I’m going to fucking explode the moment I get inside you.”
“I’m going to explode if you don’t get inside me,” I whimpered, the tell-tale sign of an orgasm already throbbing between my legs from just him sitting at my entrance. I pushed down, not able to wait any longer. His head dropped back and he hissed at the ceiling, his hands curling around my bottom and squeezing. The tips of his claws scraped along the skin and a hot breath burst from my mouth.
He took it from me, licking into my mouth and pushed me down just as I dropped on my own. He went completely inside, bottoming out.
My mouth dropped open against him and a small sound of shock escaped my throat. He rasped a litany of curses, his hands bruising now.
We just held there, both of us staring at each other as I trembled, my thighs quaking.
I was going to come.
His eyes flared. “Go on, love,” he urged. “I’m right there with you.”
I rocked against him. Just once. My clit scraping against the smooth skin of his thick cock and pelvis. That was all it took. I cramped, squeezing around him as waves of throbbing relief moved through me.
He growled and bucked, his arms curling around me completely and holding me to him as he bellowed loudly.
We clutched each other as we caught our breath. We’d barely moved but the strength of coming together finally after all this time had taken its toll.
I’d never felt anything like it in my life. This man. This alien meant more to me than any man I had ever thought I’d cared about in my entire life and we’d just used our bodies in the most physical way possible to express every last emotion we’d felt for each other over the last two years.
Killian was it for me. I knew that now. There was no escaping these feelings or him. He’d caught me the moment he showed up at Sal’s salvage yard and hadn’t let go. And I knew with everything in me I never wanted him to. I always wanted him to be mine and I always wanted to be his. No matter what that entailed.
He saw my surrender in my eyes. Or read thoughts straight from behind my eyes. Either way, his gaze softened and a pleased little smirk lifted his mouth. “We are doing that again, sweets.”
I was on my back before I could answer and the rest of my dress torn from my body.
All night long we touched and kissed and played. Angry lovemaking and rapturous lovemaking. Every single moment of it was a promise. A solemn vow that we would never leave each other again. No matter who or what tried to pry us apart.
A Change in Direction
Kil
I closed the door softly behind me. My Theo’s soft snores echoing past the barrier. My mouth lifted and I rubbed my chest, soothing the ache of leaving her there. But only for a time. A short moment in time we would be apart of all the long eons of love and life we would experience together.
She was bound to me now. No longer a human but part Kilbus. Where she would remain forever suspended in time. Tied to me in every conceivable way.
It was a secret I would hold close. She was too fragile to impart that revelation on her. Not so soon with her newfound trust in me. But one day I would tell her. That my life was now hers and hers mine.
“It is done?” Oren asked in a hushed tone. He sat on the settee outside the sleeping quarters of our rooms. Guarding his king and new queen as we completed the bond. His eyes gave away his exhaustion but his joy for me shown through.
“It is done.”
“What will you do when we reach the human’s new world?”
I sighed and slumped against the wall, rubbing my brow. “Perhaps she will come to that conclusion on her own.”
Oren raised one brow and frowned. No, my Theo would not accept abandoning her family to sail the stars with me.
“Why travel there at all?” Oren murmured quietly. “Her family will not leave her either. The only option is to keep them all on board.”
I shook my head. “And travel with such coveted cargo? We’d have every last overseer and tyrant seeking to steal them away. We attract enough trouble ourselves. No sense in adding any more reason.”
Oren watched me closely. “Then what do you suggest?”
I looked at him. My mouth pressed tight.
Oren chuckled slowly, his eyes wide and uncertain. As I remained unmoved, his chuckles increased in volume, bellowing out of him. “Your crew may very well overthrow you for that.”
“We have not settled once since we left our home,” I told my brother solemnly. “Perhaps this is a sign that the time has come.”
“We do not settle,” Oren said, angry now. “We are what we are, Kil. We were meant for the stars.”
“No,” I told him intensely. “You were young then Oren, but we once thrived on solid ground.”
“The Kilbus is not what we once were,” he said just as passionately. “We have not been for far too long. You cannot drive us to ground. You would break us apart.”
I looked away from the fear now encompassing his face. “There may be no other way.”
“We are loyal to you,” he hissed quietly. “You are our lord. There is no other, but grounding us will break that bond. You know this.”
“I do know.” I boldly stared down his dawning horror.
“Who would replace you?” His voice was choked, frightened. Oren did not scare easily.
I looked at him. Daring him.
He shook his head furiously. His face flushed in denial. “No, I will not.”
“You may not have to,” I placated him. Not liking how harshly he was taking the suggestion. “You could be wrong. My Kilbus may follow me.”
But we both knew they would not. My Kilbus were different now. So few of them even able to remember what we used to be, so many more not Kilbus by blood. We were meant for the stars. They were home now.
“I won’t let her go,” I told him. My tone low and severe.
“I don’t expect you to,” he spat, insulted. “Tell her what it means to you, to us.” He stood, stepping closer to me with hostility. His emotions guiding him. “You don’t give her enough credit. She’ll understand.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said, tired. “I won’t endanger her. She needs a home. Somewhere defensible. Not to live every moment of her life running from my enemies.”
Oren swallowed thickly. His face shutting down.
He left. I let him go. I could tell he had not anticipated this from me. Could not have. I’d given no evidence of what I’d been planning from the moment I found her again. He would need time to come to terms with my decision. As would my crew.
But I would not be move
d. I would not live out my life with Theo on this ship. She deserved more from me. Better.
No matter if she didn’t agree with me.
Angry and Afraid
Theo
I’d heard every word. His face said he knew when he came back inside the room. He’d known I was listening from the moment I woke up to his and Oren’s hushed voices.
“You won’t even ask me?” I asked him, stunned.
He shook his head, pulling on his blood-stained shirt at the end of the bed. “It’s already been decided.”
“By you,” I muttered angrily. “It sounds like you didn’t even bother to ask anyone.”
“My decision is the only one that matters.”
I scoffed. “Wow, way to start the day, dick. My opinion should matter to you.”
He glared at me, his mouth pressed tight.
“And so should Oren’s,” I continued insolently. “And Leo’s and Dereth’s, and every single other Kilbus on your ship. How can you so easily dismiss what everyone else wants?”
Killian just shrugged, his face completely shut down from me. “Get some rest,” he said, ignoring me. “We leave back to the ship soon.”
“Where are you going?” I called, heatedly, as he reopened the door.
“Out,” he muttered, stubbornly.
“Fine,” I bellowed just as stubbornly. “Run away! That’s what your good at anyway!”
He slammed the door, shaking the walls of the room.
I hissed a curse, seething.
I didn’t want to live on his damn ship anyway.
All those promises to show me the universe was a load of crap back then as it was just days ago. He never intended to follow through with them. He just wanted to lock me away in a fortress where he could keep me trapped from every supposable danger in the entire universe.
But I knew better now. I’d thought I was safe back home. Living with Uncle Sal and Aunt Bets, I’d thought I was untouchable. Naïve, maybe, but it didn’t matter. Because I hadn’t been. No one had been.