“Why is Joshua Lowell leaving anyway?” Mike asked. “Or is he exactly like his father and turning tail and running?”
“Rumor is he has a lovechild out there somewhere. They could be worth a lot of money since his father probably has it all secretly hidden somewhere,” Dean stated.
Ryan must have sensed her unease, because he said, “Does it matter? It’s all conjecture, anyway, and shouldn’t be believed.”
Jessie had had enough. “If you’ll excuse me.” She pushed out her chair quickly and rushed out of the room. Instead of heading for the bathroom, she went to a side door. She heard footsteps behind her but kept going.
Once outside, she bent over and breathed in deeply. The door opened and she saw men’s shoes. She didn’t have to stand up to know Ryan had followed her.
“Are you okay?”
Jessie straightened and narrowed her gaze at him. “What do you think?”
He glanced beside him. “I’m sorry about that. None of my friends know about your family’s past with Black Crescent. I’ve never broken your confidence and shared it with anyone.”
“Not even Adam?”
“No.”
Jessie had to admit she was impressed because, over the course of the evening, she’d seen how close the two men were. “Thank you, but I don’t think even you get it.”
“Get what?”
“How hard it is to one day to wake up and find all your money is gone along with all the dreams and hopes you had for yourself and your family. That’s what my father felt. You have no idea what it’s like to walk a day in my shoes, to endure the whispers and pitying glances from your classmates who know your family has literally been wiped out by the snap of a finger.”
“Jessie...” Ryan made to come toward her, but Jessie held out her hand.
“Black Crescent changed the course of my life, my future, influencing the decisions I’ve made. And ever since that anniversary article came out, I’ve had to relive the most difficult time of my entire life. I thought I was behind it, but hearing your friends laughing and joking in there about how Vernon destroyed our town... Well, it didn’t affect them. It affected me.” She pounded her chest.
“I get it, sweetheart.” This time, Ryan moved until he was a few inches away. She saw him hesitate for a second before putting his arm around her.
“Maybe a little.” She leaned into him and accepted the comfort he was offering, “But haven’t you wondered why I live in New York?” She pushed away slightly to look up at him and felt tears leaking from her lids. “Because I can be anonymous. Everyone in Falling Brook knows my sorry history, but in the city, I can be someone different. I’ve reinvented myself.”
“Yes, you have,” Ryan said, wiping the tears from her cheeks with the pad of his thumb. “But you have nothing to be ashamed of. What happened wasn’t your fault. You were a child.”
“I know that here—” Jessie pointed to her temple “—but not here.” She patted her heart.
“You’ve accomplished so much, Jessie,” Ryan stated. “Don’t lose sight of that. Despite everything that happened to you, you finished college and law school. You’re a lawyer for Christ’s sake! I’m sorry to tell you, but not every one of our Falling Brook classmates fared as well.”
Jessie thought back to their reunion. Ryan was right. Jessie had been surprised at the strides she’d made in the last ten years over her peers. “You’re saying all this because you’re my friend.”
His expression was dark and serious. “No, I’m not. I’m saying it because you’re you.”
Before she could guess his next action, Ryan hooked an arm around her waist and pulled her tight against him.
Jessie looked up into his eyes and was lost. How could she have denied herself this magic when she wanted him? She pulled his head down so his mouth was just above hers. Then she pressed her lips against his and it unleashed a longing deep in her body. She grabbed his biceps as her overloaded senses took in that she was kissing Ryan. His mouth was smooth, questing with the right amount of pressure. Glorious, heady sensations took over Jessie, burning her skin from the inside out. Ryan devoured her mouth as if he was in the desert sand and she was his water.
When his tongue teased her lips apart and swept inside her mouth, her body took over and Jessie began kissing him back. She followed his lead as he delved deeper into the heat of her mouth. Their tongues slid along each other’s in an erotic duel. Her nipples turned erect against the fabric of her dress and she restlessly moved against him, wanting more. Ryan pressed her tightly to him and she felt the swell of his manhood.
A loud cough from behind startled them, causing Ryan to suddenly release her. Jessie, embarrassed to see a restaurant worker had stumbled across them, immediately rushed through the doors until she found the ladies’ room.
“Jessie, wait!” Ryan called after her, but she didn’t stop. She needed distance. Now.
* * *
Ryan’s head fell back against the wall of the restaurant as his brain struggled to process what had just happened.
He’d kissed Jessie!
He’d always felt that, if given the chance, they could be good together. He hadn’t been wrong. The heat they’d created had been nothing short of sensational. He hadn’t been thinking when he’d closed the distance between them and taken her mouth in an insistent kiss that left no room for hesitation. She’d responded when he’d slid his tongue inside her mouth and met his tongue with her own. The way she’d moved against him would have made a strong man weak.
The feel, the taste of her on his mouth, was like forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden and he’d sampled. The irrational part of his brain wanted to know how far they would have gone if they hadn’t been interrupted. But they had been and Jessie had run like her pants were on fire.
Where did they go from here?
Five
Jessie stared at her reflection in the mirror of the restaurant’s bathroom and what she saw there scared her. Her pupils were dilated, her cheeks were flushed and her breaths were coming in shallow gulps. What she saw was desire. Pure and strong. She’d thought she was immune and could control it. Had her desire for Ryan always been there waiting to emerge if presented the opportunity? How else to explain that they’d made out?
She closed her eyes and attempted to calm her nerves, but she couldn’t. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t forget Ryan’s mouth on hers. The taste of him. The scent of his cologne and the warmth of his skin through his button-down shirt. It was all right there in vivid high definition in her mind.
She wouldn’t be able to put him in a box and tuck it away as she’d done with that almost kiss on reunion night. She’d done her best to act as if it had been an anomaly. A moment in time in which they’d both been carried away. But tonight was different. She’d willingly participated in the kiss and, if they hadn’t been interrupted, she’d have asked for more because it was that good. The attraction she’d felt for Ryan blew her mind.
Jessie couldn’t recall a time in which she’d felt that way when Hugh kissed her. She’d never experienced the all-consuming lust she’d felt in those few minutes she’d shared with Ryan in any of her encounters with Hugh. Hugh was the only man Jessie had ever been with. Although there been other opportunities in college and again in law school, Jessie had remained true to Hugh. Plus, the intimacy she’d shared with Hugh had always been pleasant enough, but there had never been fireworks like the kind she’d felt just now with Ryan.
She knew she had to go back to the table with Ryan and the other couples and feign that what had happened, hadn’t. How was she supposed to act? How would he? She knew they needed to talk, but she wasn’t sure what she would say. She would have to fake it until she made it.
Summoning all her courage, Jessie left the restroom.
Ryan was waiting for her in the corridor. His hungry eyes soaked in hers and her sto
mach wanted to melt in a puddle, but it didn’t. “Are you okay?” he inquired.
She nodded. Her vocal cords were unable to speak.
“About—”
She stopped him and put her fingertips to his mouth. “Can we not analyze it right now and get back to the dinner?”
His eyes shuttered at her dismissal and she recognized that she’d hurt him. “If that’s what you want.”
“I do.”
“Very well, then.” He motioned for her to precede him. “After you.”
When they returned to the table, everyone glanced up at them. Were they all assuming she and Ryan had snuck away to make out? Because they’d be right.
“We were wondering where you two had disappeared to,” Adam said with a bemused smile. “We’re going to head back to the house, if you’re ready?”
“We are,” Jessie and Ryan said simultaneously.
The group laughed because once again they were in unison, like everyone had teased earlier. And maybe they were, but on that terrace, their relationship shifted and there was no going back.
* * *
The ride in Adam’s Escalade was uncomfortable to say the least. Ryan didn’t attempt to make polite chitchat. When he’d met Jessie in the restaurant corridor, he’d hoped they would talk. He’d known it was an inconvenient time, but he’d hoped that maybe she’d finally admit they should pursue whatever it was between them. But instead he’d been shot down. Jessie wanted to sweep the kiss underneath the rug and he was pissed off about it.
When they made it to the house, Jessie rushed off upstairs. Dean and Lauren went to their respective rooms while Mike and Corinne departed quickly. Ryan figured the married couples wanted to be alone, because Adam and Tia were right behind them, but he stopped Adam on the steps.
“I’ll be right up, babe,” Adam told Tia.
“I’ll be waiting.” She winked at her husband and left the two men alone.
Adam turned to Ryan. “What’s up? As you can see—” he glanced up the stairs “—I have a hot date.”
Ryan grinned. “I won’t keep you. I just need some linens and a pillow. I’m going to sleep on the couch.”
“Really? The vibe I got when you guys came back to the table led me to believe...”
Ryan rolled his eyes. “Nothing is going to happen. So, if you don’t mind, I need those linens.”
Adam stared at him for several beats. “All right, I’ll be right back.” He ran up the stairs and Ryan followed him. He would only be in his and Jessie’s room long enough to get something to sleep in and return downstairs.
When he arrived, Jessie was in the bathroom, brushing her teeth. She had already changed into some sort of matching pajama set with a camisole and shorts. Had to be some sort of record for getting undressed. Guess she wanted to be sure she was nowhere around when he came in. What did she think was going to happen? That he would jump her bones the minute they were alone? He’d gotten the message: their first kiss had been a mistake.
Ryan walked to the doorway. “I’m going to sleep on the couch downstairs.”
Jessie eyes grew wide and then she rinsed and wiped her mouth with a towel from a nearby rack. “That’s probably best.”
He glared at her. So that’s the way she wanted to play this? Had the kiss meant nothing to her? He most certainly was having trouble remembering why he’d insisted to himself and his friends any attraction he’d felt was over.
“All right. Well...good night. I’ll see you in the morning.” Ryan grabbed his toiletry bag and some shorts and a T-shirt from his suitcase, and left the room.
He ambled down the stairs and found a pillow and a blanket waiting for him on the sofa. He stared at the midsize sofa. It didn’t look very comfortable and he was not excited to sleep on it, but what choice did he have?
After using the half bath to brush his teeth, Ryan came back to the living room and proceeded to prepare himself a makeshift bed on the sofa. He didn’t bother changing. It was going to be a long night anyway. Lying down, he stared up at the ceiling, reliving the kiss with Jessie in his mind.
The kiss had warmed him. He’d felt the scorch of her lips on his and the taste of her on his tongue. Sleep would be a long time coming because he doubted he could rid his mind of the feeling of holding the woman he’d always wanted in his arms. Their first kiss was everything he’d dreamed of and more. Now his emotions felt pummeled because of Jessie’s refusal to acknowledge they could be so much more.
Ryan sat upright. Maybe some ocean air would help him find peace and the sleep he needed. But first he was going for a glass of brandy. He found Adam’s favorite sitting on the counter with the other alcohol. After pouring himself more than two thumbs in a tumbler, Ryan made his way through the French doors and out onto the wraparound terrace.
It was dark, but there were thousands of tiny stars in the sky and, with the full moon, it was enough for Ryan to see his drink. He leaned against the balustrade and sipped his brandy.
He didn’t know how long he was out there, musing over the night’s events, when the creek of the floorboards forced him to stand upright.
As if he’d conjured her up, Jessie was standing by the French doors. His eyes ate her up, loving the sight of her shapely legs in shorts that barely reached her lush thighs.
“Go to bed, Jessie.” He turned away and stared back at the dark night sky. It was late and he wasn’t in the mood to dissect the kiss, their relationship, or anything else. If she didn’t go right now, he wasn’t sure of his next actions.
“I can’t. We need to talk.”
The words every man dreaded.
Ryan turned to face her. “You first.”
* * *
Jessie felt the anger emanating from Ryan and knew it was directed at her for not confronting the kiss earlier. She’d run because she’d been too afraid to face what had happened. She’d tried to put the mask on, layer by layer, but had failed miserably. Was it any surprise that when she’d tried to go to bed, she couldn’t sleep? She’d tossed and turned until she’d finally given up the ghost and realized that until she settled things with Ryan, sleep would elude her.
Jessie had come downstairs to find him, but not before she’d shocked herself by taking the spare condom she kept in her purse and placed it in her pocket. Was she hoping for something more? Maybe. But when she’d seen the empty couch, her heart had lurched. She’d wondered if she’d pushed Ryan away enough to make him leave, but instead she’d found him on the deck looking out over the ocean, his button-down shirt nearly undone and still wearing his jeans.
“You’re angry with me.”
“Does that surprise you?”
She shook her head. “No. I suppose not. I deserve it for being a coward.” The kiss had left her feeling vulnerable and exposed.
“Go on.” He sipped the drink in his hand.
“The kiss caught me off-guard. We’ve always been friends, but everything has changed and...”
“That scares you,” Ryan finished. “Do I scare you? Or is this because you’re still with Hugh?”
“I—I’m not with Hugh anymore. We’re on a break.”
“A break?” Ryan asked, straightening. “Since when?”
Jessie walked over to him at the balustrade and glanced at the dark ocean.
“Jessie?”
She turned to him and his gaze focused on her. “Since the night of the reunion.”
Ryan’s eyes darkened and Jessie forced herself to swallow. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Jessie cocked her head to one side. “Do you really have to ask me? Because everyone, especially my parents, think Hugh and I are supposed to be together. But they couldn’t be more wrong.”
“How long have you been feeling this way?”
Jessie shrugged. “A while. I’ve been restless and unsure of our relationship for some time... But I�
��ve felt so ruled by Black Crescent’s fall and my parents’ expectations to marry a guy like Hugh, from an established wealthy family, that I’ve pushed aside my own feelings. And when we nearly kissed at the reunion, it threw me for a loop. Just like tonight did. I couldn’t continue seeing him if I had feelings for another man.”
Ryan’s gaze locked with hers and then he drew her to him. Pinning her against him, his mouth sought hers. Sky and earth tilted on its axis for Jessie as Ryan’s lips parted hers in a kiss that was everything she’d ached for but hadn’t realized she needed. And in that devastating moment, Jessie knew that she would die if she couldn’t be with him. Is that why, in a spur-of-the-moment decision, she’d put a condom in her pocket?
When Ryan pulled away, he held both sides of her face and peered into her eyes. “Tell me to stop, Jessie, because I don’t know if I can.”
“I don’t want you to stop, Ryan. I need you.”
He leaned his forehead against hers, his lips a fraction away. “You’re temptation for even the strongest man. You have no idea how much I want to make love to you.”
She gasped and, that very instant, his mouth was back on hers. Jessie didn’t have any doubts. She wanted Ryan. She didn’t know if she always had. She did know that in this moment she had to have him. His fingers tangled in her hair and brought her forward to his mouth. Oh how she wanted that mouth. That beautiful mouth.
They kissed and kissed and then kissed again. He pulled away a few times to move from her lips to kiss his way down her throat to her neck, but then he’d return to her mouth as if he couldn’t keep away.
Sensation engulfed her as she concentrated wholly on Ryan and vice versa. It was crazy to think she was on fire for her friend, but she was. The emotions she felt were real. Jessie melted from the onslaught and didn’t realize he was walking them somewhere. With his hands framing her face and without breaking the kiss, he’d moved Jessie up against the wall of the house. Their mouths opened so their tongues could taste each other deeply. His hand slid up and down her body until Jessie found her pajama camisole being lifted over her head and tossed aside.
Insatiable Hunger (Dynasties: Seven Sins Book 3) Page 5