Fourteen
“Jessie!” Hugh picked her up off her feet and wrapped her in a hug the moment she stepped foot in the guesthouse at the O’Malley residence on Friday evening. She’d come straight from work, taken the train and then an Uber from the station. The journey had been tumultuous and not because of the ride. Jessie had been thinking about Ryan and how angry he’d been with her. She’d needed his understanding while she figured out what to do next, but patience wasn’t Ryan’s virtue. Instead, he kept pressing her to decide, decide, decide. She would in her own time. And she had. On the train ride, Jessie had known she needed to end things with Hugh. They couldn’t go on in limbo, not when she was in love with bullheaded, sexy Ryan. Why wasn’t life easy?
“Hugh—” she patted his shoulders while peering into his brilliant sky-blue eyes “—put me down.”
He laughed and did as she asked, but didn’t let go of her. Instead, he kept his arm circled around her waist. “It’s so good to see you, babe.”
“You’re looking well.” Jessie politely removed his hand and moved further into the house. “How does it feel to be back in the States?”
Hugh’s handsome features had grown sharper and more defined since the last time she’d seen him. He was clean-shaved and didn’t have rugged stubble like Ryan. His dark hair was expertly cut, stopping just above the collar of his tailored three-piece charcoal suit with its frosted-gray tie.
“Better now that you’re here,” Hugh said, following her into the living room. The room was immaculately decorated in soft creams and pastels with furniture Jessie knew was custom made. An Impressionist painting hung on the wall, showing how well off his family truly was. “Come sit beside me.” He patted the empty spot on the sofa.
It seemed rude to resist, so reluctantly she sat beside him, but on the far side of the couch.
“I don’t bite, Jessie. Or at least not unless you want me,” he chuckled. When she didn’t smile, he frowned. “Surely, we haven’t been apart so long we can’t joke with one another?”
“We’ve been apart for our entire relationship, Hugh. What do you expect?”
“Ouch.” His eyes darkened as he held her gaze. “I guess I deserve that, but that’s why I’m here. I’ve recognized I’ve put our relationship on the back burner and focused too much on my career.”
“Yes, you have,” Jessie said, running her fingers through her straight hair, “but I can’t put it all on you. I never said anything or required more of you. I’ve been content to be put aside because I always thought one day we would find our way back to each other.”
“But you don’t feel that way now?”
Jessie shook her head and he placed his hand over his heart.
“I’m sorry. I’m not saying this to hurt you, Hugh, but when I look back, we haven’t been in the same city since we were in prep school. That’s no way to start the foundation for a relationship, much less a marriage.”
“I know that, Jessie. Truly I do. It’s why I’m here. I’m glad you told me we needed to take a break and figure out what it is we really want. Because it made me see that it’s you I want. It’s always been you, but I’ve been too blinded by my own ambition and lost sight of what’s really important. But I’m ready now. I’m willing to find a job in Manhattan so we can work on our relationship. I’ve already sent my résumé to some executive recruitment specialists and put out some feelers.”
“That’s great, Hugh, but I’ve thought about it and I don’t want you to move here. You don’t really want to, and you’re only doing it because you think it’s what you should do. You should come back because you want to.”
“I do want to,” he stated more firmly.
“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” Jessie inquired.
“What’s gotten into you?” Hugh asked, hopping to his feet. He began pacing the marble floor and then spun around to stare at her. “You’ve never spoken to me like this before.”
“We need to be honest with ourselves about what it is we truly want, Hugh. Do you really want to be with me? Or are you with me because it’s the right thing to do? Or what your parents expect of you? Are you even in love with me?” Jessie knew she didn’t have those feelings for him. “So much so, you can’t see your life without me? That’s the kind of love I’m talking about. That’s the kind of love I want.”
“I don’t think now is the right time to talk to you,” Hugh said, shaking his head. “Clearly you’re not in the right headspace to have such a serious conversation about our future.”
“What do you expect our marriage to look like?” Jessie persisted. She wasn’t dropping this conversation. “A white picket fence? Two kids? Live in Falling Brook or Connecticut and have the perfect life?”
“Yeah, Jess. Maybe that is what I want,” Hugh snapped back. “Is something so wrong with that? Because, correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought that’s what you wanted too. What you and I have been working our butts off to achieve?”
Hugh had a point. That’s what she’d thought she wanted.
The O’Malleys had done so much for her during her youth. If it hadn’t been for the scholarship Jack O’Malley had given her and Pete, she would have never gotten into a good university. And Hugh...well, he’d always been a constant. The good-looking, popular boy every girl in Falling Brook had wanted, including her. She’d thought herself lucky he’d given her the time of day. But as the years had gone by, she’d become increasingly dissatisfied with her life, and Hugh hadn’t been around to see that.
“Dreams change, Hugh. And maybe, if you’d been around, you’d know that. I no longer want this perfect life where we are slaves to our careers and making money. Not to say there’s anything wrong with being ambitious and striving for success. I’ve learned that love and passion are equally as important.”
She didn’t love him and never would. She loved Ryan. And she may have lost him because she was too afraid to take a chance, but she wouldn’t compound the mistake by making another.
It was time she took control of her life. She’d lived too long under the shadow of her parents’ expectations. She was taking the first step, ending it with Hugh because she was in love with another man.
Ryan.
“You’ve found love and passion with someone else, haven’t you?”
A tear slid down Jessie’s cheek. “I have. And you deserve someone who can love you with her whole heart and without reservation. And I’m not that woman.”
Hugh lowered his head and Jessie felt terrible for hurting him, but it couldn’t be helped. They could no longer go on like this, not when her heart belonged to someone else.
When Hugh finally lifted his head, Jessie was surprised to see unshed tears in his blue eyes. “I understand it’s for the best. I should never have taken you for granted, assumed you would be there when I finally got my act together.”
Jessie gave a half smile. “I didn’t try hard enough, either.” Because she’d been unhappy and restless for years. “Anyway, we’re going to need to tell our families that we’re no longer together. I know it’ll be tough on your family, but I hope they know how grateful I am for everything they’ve done.”
Hugh frowned in exasperation. “You never owed us anything, Jessie. I hope you know that.”
She hadn’t, but she did now. “I do. I do now.”
“Can I ask who it is—the man you’re in love with? Or do I already know?” Hugh inquired.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s Ryan. Isn’t it?”
Jessie wanted to end their relationship with a clear conscience. She was done with the lies. She owed Hugh the truth. “Yes.”
Hugh shook his head and a wry laugh escaped his lips. “I guess I should have known. I’m surprised he waited this long to make a play for you.”
“It wasn’t like that...we just sort of happened.”
“Jessi
e, Jessie, Jessie.” Hugh released an exasperated breath. “Open your eyes, it’s always been Ryan. He’s loved you from afar for years. Even I saw it. I’ve always been jealous of the friendship and easy camaraderie you two shared.”
Jessie frowned. “You were? I never knew.”
“I hid it well underneath bravado because I thought I was the best man for you. I can see I was wrong.” He leaned in for a hug. “I wish you all the best, Jess. I truly do. All I’ve ever wanted is your happiness.”
Jessie reached out and stroked his cheek. “I want the same for you, Hugh. And one day you will find the person that completes you, like I have.”
Hugh offered a wry smile and inclined his head to the door. “Go on. Get out of here. Go get your man.”
Jessie grinned. “I intend to do just that, I just have to wrap up some family business first.” She gave Hugh one final squeeze and quickly rushed out into the night.
* * *
Professionally speaking, Ryan’s life was soaring. He’d had a great interview with a Manhattan investment firm that was looking for new leadership since their founding member was retiring. The meeting had gone well and Ryan felt confident he would be called back. Black Crescent wasn’t the only show in town.
But they hadn’t forgotten about him, either. Joshua Lowell wanted to meet him for a second interview. The former CEO appreciated Ryan’s résumé as well his ideas for Black Crescent’s future. Allison had called to confirm a Monday meeting in Falling Brook. However, he would be remiss if he didn’t admit his thoughts had strayed to Jessie during the call with Allison.
What would she think about him going through with the interview? He knew she was adamantly opposed to his working for the enemy after the pain the firm had caused her family, but Ryan strongly believed he could make a difference.
Quite frankly, he wasn’t sure there was a relationship to fight for because she couldn’t break away from her parents. Ryan wanted all or nothing. He hadn’t heard from Jessie the last several days and it was driving him crazy. No amount of late hours at the office or working out with Dennis was going to ease the tension he felt. He wanted to call her, but what would he say that he hadn’t said earlier in the week?
He’d bared his soul to her. Shared how much he cared for her, and she’d stared back at him with her doe eyes and hadn’t said a word. What was he supposed to think, let alone feel about her silence? Was she afraid to tell him “thank you for the orgasms and take a hike”?
Ryan was desperate to get away from it all and decided to go to Connecticut for the weekend to visit his brother, Ben. He certainly wasn’t going to Falling Brook early so his parents could hound him about Jessie. They’d already inquired about her and wondered if she might be the newest addition to the family. Ryan hadn’t had the heart to tell them that they couldn’t be further off track. Jessie would much prefer to be with the O’Malleys.
Instead, he would spend some quality time with his brother to see if he couldn’t put Jessie Acosta in his rearview.
* * *
“Hey, baby bro. Come on in.” Ben greeted him with a hug when Ryan rang the doorbell later that evening. He’d driven through Friday rush hour to the stunning mountaintop city of Bethel and was treated to some breathtaking views on his way, but now Ryan was ready for a drink.
“Thanks, man,” Ryan said, stepping inside the contemporary three-bedroom town house. “Where’s the missus?” He’d never been to his brother’s new place and appreciated the open floor plan and well-equipped gourmet kitchen with its large center island and plenty of counter space.
“No offense, but you don’t come to Connecticut often. She figured we might want some male bonding time, so she’s hanging out with her girls tonight. So take a load off.” Ben motioned to the leather sectional in the spacious family room Ryan had followed him into. “Can I get you anything? Beer? Wine?”
Ryan’s face pinched. “You got something stronger?”
“I’ve got a nice Scotch if you’re interested?”
“Yeah, I’ll have that.”
“On the rocks?”
Ryan shook his head. “Neat.” He relaxed his head against the sofa and tried to let the week’s events roll off him, but it wasn’t working.
“Looks like you need this.” Ryan heard Ben’s voice behind him and turned to find his brother extending him a glass of brown liquid.
“I do.” Ryan downed the two thumbs. “Another please.” He handed the glass back.
“Uh, are you looking to tie one on?” Ben asked.
“Maybe.” Ryan rolled his shoulders, but the tension wouldn’t leave him. “It’s been one crazy week.”
Ben joined him on the couch after he’d refilled his glass and brought along the entire bottle of Scotch. “Thought you might need this.” He set the bottle down on the coffee table. “So, fill me in. What’s been going on? Last I saw you, you and Jessie were hugged up pretty tight on the dance floor.”
“And if you recall, she wasn’t too happy about that.”
“But she’s happy to be more than friends when no one’s looking. Is that what’s got you so riled up?”
“That and then some,” Ryan replied, sipping his Scotch. “I learned Jessie didn’t exactly break up with Hugh, not officially anyway. So, in essence, it was more of a break than calling it quits. I think she did it to keep up with the expectations her family had for her and O’Malley. She led me to believe we actually had a chance when she was merely biding her time until O’Malley got his act together.”
“Do you really think that’s true?” Ben inquired, staring at him intently. “As long as I’ve known Jessie, she’s been a good kid.” At Ryan’s scowl, he amended, “A good woman. I can’t imagine she would string you along.”
“Well, what am I supposed to think?” Ryan inquired.
“Wait. Be patient.”
“I’m done waiting,” Ryan said. “Hell, I’ve waited for her for nearly two decades, but it eats me up because I know she’s probably not alone.”
“What do you mean?”
“Hugh called her during our argument earlier this week. And since then, I haven’t heard a peep from her.”
“And you think he’s the reason why?”
“Partly. It’s also her parents’ expectations and her obligations to the O’Malleys,” Ryan said, throwing up his hands and rushing to his feet. “I’ve been competing against him my whole life. And right when I thought it was a fair fight, I find out my hands have been tied behind my back the entire time and she was never really free to be with me.”
“Ryan, you need to settle down. You’re making a lot of assumptions without talking to Jessie.”
Ryan didn’t think so. Her silence spoke volumes. She wanted nothing more to do with him. It had been fun while it lasted, but now that Hugh had come calling, she was running back to the familiar. When Ryan knew for a fact her physical relationship with Hugh didn’t hold a candle to theirs.
He plopped down on the sofa. “As much as it pains me, I can’t sit around waiting for Jessie to decide she wants to be with me.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Move on, as I’d intended to do before taking her to the Hamptons.”
“Can you do that?” Ben asked, watching him intently. “This woman has been an important part of your life. Are you sure you can just cut her off, cold turkey?”
“You act like I’m an addict or something.”
Ben chuckled. “I wouldn’t go that far, but you have been hooked on her to the detriment of some of your other relationships.”
Ryan supposed his brother was right, because none of those other women had ever measured up to Jessie. Whenever his previous relationships started to get serious, he would withdraw. He’d told himself it was because he wasn’t ready to commit, but that wasn’t the truth. Maybe, deep down, he’d been holding out hope one day Jessie would
come around and see him as her Prince Charming. What a fool he’d been.
“You’re right,” Ryan said. “I have to break the cycle and I will, but I have to talk to Jessie. I need her to tell me to my face that this entire month has been a lie. That it’s been nothing more than a summer fling. Only then can I move on.”
“I agree. Now, can we please stop bemoaning your woes and watch some baseball? The Yankees are playing tonight and I’d much rather watch them than you cry.”
Ryan chuckled. “Sounds like a plan.”
* * *
“I’m so happy you’re home again,” Jessie’s mother said as they walked through the farmers’ market in downtown Falling Brook, perusing vegetables. “I hear Hugh is also back in town.”
As if on cue, Kathleen O’Malley appeared from one of the stalls, carrying a basket of fruit. She stopped when she saw Jessie and her mother standing nearby, selecting tomatoes.
“Jessie! It’s so fabulous to see you. Hugh told us you were in town.”
“Mrs. O’Malley, a pleasure.” Jessie air-kissed the woman and inclined her head sideways. “You remember my mother?”
The brunette smile. “I do.” Her eyes narrowed as she surveyed her mother for several beats. Jessie wondered why Hugh’s mother was giving her such a close inspection. Had the two women had a quarrel?
“It’s good to see you...” Jessie said and began to turn away. “If you’ll excuse us?” She was eager to get away from the negative vibes emanating between the two women.
“I was hoping you might join us for dinner tonight?” Mrs. O’Malley’s invitation dangled in the air. “We’d love to have you.”
Jessie inhaled deeply. Hugh hadn’t told his parents about the breakup and neither had she. She was working up to it. “Of course.” Jessie offered a smile. She would attend the dinner for old times’ sake. She would have to text Hugh later to give him a heads-up.
Insatiable Hunger (Dynasties: Seven Sins Book 3) Page 14