by Lori Wick
How are you doing? Have you seen your wife and daughters? Cassy and I would like to meet them.
Eliot knows about Clancy?" Jessie cut in softly.
"I wrote to him after I arrived."
"Before or after we talked?"
"Before."
"When you didn't even know if you could stay?"
"Yes. I told him I would write even if I was coming right back on the train."
"Who is Nate?" Clancy asked.
"My brother's son. He would be your cousin."
194Clancy looked at her mother, who nodded, her face inscrutable. The little girl looked back to her father, and Seth had to force his eyes away from Jessie.
"Did you want to hear the rest of the letter?"
"Urn hm," Clancy said, coming close to look with him as he continued in the same paragraph.
Eliot prays too?" Clancy asked the moment Seth put the letter down.
"Yes, he does."
These words were no more out of Seth's mouth when they all heard the banging.
"Clancy, please run down and let Hannah in," Jessie said, and then added, "and don't forget to lock the door."
As soon as Clancy exited the apartment, Seth addressed his wife. "What are we going to do with the fact that I pray and you don't?" "Do you think it matters all that much?" Jessie asked, not seeing a
problem.
195"Our believing completely different things is going to eventually be an issue. Maybe not for a long time, but eventually."
"I guess we'll handle it when it happens," Jessie said, her mind still on the letter itself. She knew why Seth read it in the living room. He wasn't trying to hide things, and she found that she appreciated his efforts.
"You're different," Jessie said, even as she heard the girls on the stairs.
"Good different or bad different?"
"Good."
Seth heard the girls as well and had to work not to be frustrated. This was the very thing he wanted to talk to her about, but in a moment they would not be alone. There was nothing slow about Jessie, but Seth wondered about her blindness on some issues. She could see that he had changed but not that their different beliefs were an issue to be addressed now and not later.
"Hey, you," Jessie was saying to Hannah, who came in with a hug for both her parents.
In the next ten minutes, they heard all about her time at the Rahman home. Clancy pouted from time to time until Seth noticed and told her to be done with that. The younger girl responded fairly well, and as before, Jessie did not seem to mind.
"I think it's late enough that you two should wash up for bed," their mother told them.
This was met with loud protests that Seth didn't remember hearing before. He wasn't going to put up with it.
"Girls," he said quietly. He hadn't been sharp or loud, but they both stopped and looked at him. "I want you to obey your mother without arguing."
The faces they made were almost as bad, but they went off without a word. Seth got ready for battle with Jessie, and he was even willing to start. The girls had left the bedroom door open, so he kept his voice low.
"Why do you allow me to do that? Why are you not getting angry at me for stepping in?"
196"I've been thinking about that, and I think it's because of Rylan and Bri."
"In what way?"
"Rylan always steps in with Danny, and that little boy is the most obedient toddler I've ever known."
Seth was so surprised by this that for a few moments he couldn't say a word. Was she saying that she wanted him to help? Was she saying she saw value in a father being involved?
"What happened to us, Jessie?" Seth had to ask, his heart aching. "Why did we go from loving each other to fighting all the time?" "I don't know. You made me so angry"
"What did I do?"
"You wanted to change everything."
"Would that have been so bad?" Seth asked.
"Not from here-not from this side of things-but at the time I couldn't cope with it."
Seth nodded, and for a few moments silence fell between them.
"Are you coming to kiss us?" Hannah called from the bedroom.
Both Seth and Jessie laughed a little but did as they'd done for the past few nights and went to the bedroom to kiss their daughters. It was never a drawn-out affair. Both girls were usually tired, and tonight it was just as fast.
When Jessie shut the door on the girls, Seth stayed on his feet with a question.
"Do you need me to go for a walk tonight?"
"No, but I don't feel very talkative."
Seth nodded and sat as far down the sofa as he could, reaching for the newspaper. He had just started on an article when Jessie spoke.
"Were there many women?"
Seth looked her square in the eye and said, "Yes."
"Right away?" Jessie whispered.
"No, not for a long time."
"But then a lot?"
197"One other is too many, Jessie, but I did get involved with other women over the years."
"But not the woman you took?"
"I'm thankful to say she wouldn't let me touch her."
"And then you went to jail," Jessie checked.
"Yes."
"So it's been a long time for you too." It was a statement, not a question.
"Yes." Seth was quiet a moment and then found he had to know as well. "Did you have others?"
"A few times I wanted to, but I could never do that to the girls. I never left them in the evening, and I never wanted anyone enough to bring him up here."
"I'm sorry you've been alone all this time. It's not the way it should have been."
Jessie nodded, not looking angry or upset. As he watched, she turned away from him in her seat. Seth knew that she wasnowdone talking.
"A cousin?" Hannah whispered from her pillow when the door was shut.
"That's what Seth said. He told me, and Mama was there." "What's his name?"
"Nate. And Seth's brother is Ellie."
"Ellie is a girl's name."
"That's what he said!"
"Shh," Hannah shushed her. "You're going to get us in trouble."
"That's what he said," she repeated in a softer tone, and both girls heard footsteps. They lay very still with their eyes closed in case their mother opened the door. She didn't, however, and the girls were able to get in a few more words.
"Seth had a letter. I saw it, and Ellie prays like Seth does." "To God?"
198"I think so."
Hannah had to think about this. Clancy was saying something else, but Hannah was still thinking about Seth and his brother praying. She wished Clancy would stop talking so she could think, and then she didn't hear her anymore. All was quiet. The day was catching up to Hannah, and sleep claimed her.
199
"ARE YOU FEELING BETTER,Hannah?" Jeb asked her on Friday evening, as this was the first time he'd seen her.
That little girl nodded, and Jeb smiled at the smile she gave him. There wasn't much to either of the girls, so Jeb was glad to see Hannah back on her feet.
"How areyoufeeling?" Jessie asked her cousin.
"Pretty good. I'm moving around some. The cane helps." "Are you able to work at all?"
"Some. Mostly sanding, which I can sometimes do without having to stand."
"When does school start?" Patience asked the girls and received the normal response. They talked all over each other in their excitement, and none of the adults had the heart to stop them.
"My dress is blue," Hannah got in finally.
"And mine is green," Clancy said. "It has a piyna-fore."
"Pinafore," Jessie corrected patiently, not sure her youngest would ever get it right.
"What color is the pinafore?" Patience asked and heard all about that.
The adults let the children have the floor for a bit longer, and then
200Patience headed to the kitchen to get some cookies. When the girls followed, Jeb had some minutes alone with Jessie.
"How are you doing
with Seth living there?" was Jeb's first question.
"It's going well. The girls like him so much."
"And you?"
"I don't mind."
Jeb looked at her. Some of the hardness that had been in her eyes in the past was gone.
"Are you going to fall for him again?" Jeb asked, not sure where this had come from.
"If I do, I'll be the biggest fool in town."
"So you still think he's here to hurt you all?"
"I don't know," Jessie admitted. "He's changed. I can see that, but that
doesn't mean he'll stay, and I'll be raising a third child by myself."
Jeb was quite sure that no such thing would happen, but Jessie would
never understand why he believed that.
"Where is he tonight?"
"He said he needed to talk to Rylan about something, and I forgot to tell him we were coming here."
"Are you getting along?"
"Is that your way of asking if we're fighting?"
"Yes."
"We're not."
"Why aren't you?" Jeb asked, surprising Jessie into silence. She knew the answer, but it hadn't fully hit her until just now.
"What's the matter?" Jeb went on, hoping he hadn't pushed too
far.
"I'm just thinking."
"Then I'll be done asking questions."
"It's all right," Jessie said, truly wanting him to know, but Jeb was finished. He and Jessie talked on a range of other topics, but the older cousin did not continue to press her about Seth. Jeb hoped to catch Seth on Sunday andseehow he thought thingsweregoing, but for
201now he just wanted to keep his relationship with Jessie as open as he could. Something had struck her, and he wanted to be wise about how much he pushed in.
Patience and the girls returned with a plateful of cookies and mugs of coffee at just the right time. Jeb began to tell Patience about something that had happened to Meg's folks, and Jessie was more than ready to stop thinking about Seth for a few minutes. The threesome stayed for more than two hours. It was just what the mother of two girls needed.
"Did you see Danny?" This was the first question the girls had for their father on Saturday morning. They had gone to bed before he got home.
"I didn't see him. I went to the house, but no one was home." "Rylan didn't know you were coming?" Jessie asked. For some reason this was important to her.
"No. I just needed to ask him a question."
"We saw Patience," Clancy cut in. "She gave us cookies." "That was nice. How is Jeb?"
"He has a cane."
Seth looked to Jessie, who explained how he was healing. The two adults talked about it for several minutes before they both realized the girls were watching them.
"What did you do?" Hannah asked.
"I went for a long walk," Seth said. "It was a nice evening, and I even talked with a man I worked with a long time ago."
"Worked where?" Jessie asked.
"At the foundry. Remember that week?"
Jessie's mouth opened in surprise. "You remembered each other from that long ago?"
"Yes," Seth said on a laugh. "It was a long time ago, but we worked side by side for those days. He still works there. He even said they're hiring, so if you're ready to kick me out, I'll head there."
202"Since it's Saturday, I won't do that until at least five o'clock," Jessie told him, willing to tease right back.
Seth's warm gray eyes twinkled at her, and Jessie felt that old, odd sensation in her chest. The girls had to be told that their parents were only kidding about Jessie kicking Seth out, but had Jessie known it, Seth was just about floating.
With Rylan not at home, he had been forced to work out his thoughts on his own, and they had been about Jessie. How should he act? How should he treat her? What did some of the things she said mean?
He knew Rylan would not have all the answers, but he desperately wished he knew how to proceed. The conclusion he came to was to be himself. He still loved his wife and would care for her and act that way. If at some point it seemed she would welcome his love, he would act accordingly on that too.
The same with the girls. He didn't know much about being a father, but he would be a father to them to the best of his ability. Jessie was not fighting him on that issue and that gave him great confidence and hope.
The four of them ended up heading downstairs to the store together. If it was a typical Saturday, they would not stop moving for the next nine hours. In that time he would be more of a store worker than a husband or father, but come evening when they were back upstairs as a family again, he knew that's when his real job would start.
"Will you be warm enough?" Nate asked when Heather stepped outside the door on Saturday evening. She had her sweater with her, but the evenings and nights were cooling fast.
"I think so, but you don't have a jacket," Heather noticed. "It's a heavy shirt."
"Can you wear whatever you like when you work?" Heather asked. With that the two began to talk about Nate's life in law enforcement.
203Heather was a great listener, but at one point Nate realized he was doing all the talking.
"How did your week finish up?" he stopped reporting to ask.
"It was fine. We were busier than I expected, so both of us worked all week."
"Is that normal?"
"It's never the same twice. For several weeks in the summer, Jeanette considered opening even fewer days, but then business picked up again."
The silence between them got a little long this time, and seeing that Heather looked a tad uncertain, Nate decided to be honest about what he was thinking.
"Do I make you nervous, Heather?"
"Well," she said softly, not able to look at him as she admitted this, "I haven't done too much of this."
"Too much of what?"
"Walking with men."
Nate could only stare at her lovely profile and creamy complexion, thinking this was impossible.
"This is my first time," Heather nearly blurted.
Nate came to a halt, much the way Jeanette had. Heather's look became even more uncertain, and every ounce of compassion Nate possessed welled up within him.
"I would never hurt you, Heather, or let anyone else hurt you."
"I think I knew that. Have you..." Heather started, and stopped to clear her throat. "Have you been on many walks?"
"I was married, Heather."
"I didn't know that. Where is your wife?"
"She and our daughter died in a hotel fire."
"I'm sorry, Nate," Heather said, willing herself not to cry. "How awful for you."
"It was awful, but it was also a long time ago. I was just a young man in my early twenties."
There was a bench ahead of them. It sat outside the fence at Mrs.
204Kuster's house, and the two sat down. For a time Nate did even more talking. He told about the way he met his wife and how old their daughter would have been today. Heather listened to every word, her head tipped a little to look up into his face.
"There hasn't been anyone else, Heather. It's not that I was against marrying again, but no one was the right one. I think you need to know that I've been noticing you for a long time. I didn't understand why you are the person you are until I understood what you believe. For a long time I just thought you were sweet and kind, but now I know it goes much deeper than that.
"It's a lot to put on you, but I think it only fair for you to know where I stand. I'll never hold it against you if you don't want to take walks with me anymore. Or if you need to think about some of what I've said. I'll understand completely."
"I didn't know you were interested. Becky told me."
"How did she know?"
"She said she saw you. I don't know what she meant."
Nate had to smile.
"Are you wanting to laugh?"
"Not laugh exactly, but it's not often that I meet someone so inexperienced."
"What do you mean?"
"I'
ve been throwing myself in your way for months, but you never noticed my interest."
"Why couldn't I see it?" Heather asked, searching her mind for the times he'd done that and coming up blank.
"I don't know if you knew what to look for."
"Why do some women?"
"They must have experienced that type of interaction some other place."
"I told Jeanette that I'm not the type of woman that men fall for. I think that must be why."
"Could it be that men have been interested and you never knew?" The look of surprise on Heather's face caused Sheriff Nate Kaderly
205to laugh. His head went back as the laughter burst out of him. Heather laughed a little with him, shaking her head and trying to make sense of it all, but it was Nate who spoke when he got his breath back.
"Well, for myself I'm glad no one else gained your notice."
"You're really interested in me?" Heather had to ask, slightly amazed.
"I'm really interested."
"I don't know much about this," Heather began.
"I'm not going to rush you."
"You'll probably get tired of explaining what everything means."
Nate had to smile at her again. Heather smiled too, but Nate could also read the chagrin in her eyes. They eventually continued their walk, and Nate was good at his word. With no thoughts to rush her in any way, they simply talked about themselves. Nate had her home long before dark, and before he left Jeanette's ornate front porch, he asked if he could see her again. Heather said yes.
"How are you?" Bri asked Jessie on Sunday afternoon. The pastor's wife had made a deliberate effort to go over to see her friend, and the two were on a walk.
"I'm all right. A little confused at times."
"Confused about what?"
"Seth and me."
"Your own feelings, or what you think he's feeling?"
"Both, I think. I was all ready to hate him and keep him at arm's length, but I don't feel that way anymore, and I don't know why."