by Joanna White
He showed me how to track, although I wasn’t familiar with the creatures in here. One, called a Nimri, was a small silver-haired animal about a foot and a half tall, and it was about a foot or so wide. They were cute, but I knew we needed them for meat. He showed me what their paw prints looked like, since they waddled on two feet, their prints were always found in twos. We managed to catch a couple of those, and then he showed me the prints of something a bit bigger.
A Meere was the size of a handcart we used in the village to haul heavy stuff and would provide a lot of meat. Jared told me they would eat fruits and leaves, but also could eat meat as well, and they had teeth they could use against us if provoked. They were heavy enough to crush us if we came too close. We tracked a couple, using paw-prints, leaves that had been eaten, torn branches as they passed through, and nesting grounds they used to sleep in. We found one of them, standing up, reaching for fruit that was hanging off the branch of a tree.
“Now, nock the arrow,” Jared told me, as I loaded the arrow into the bow. “Aim, but remember you have to hit it in the head or it will charge over here,” he murmured.
He put his arms around my waist, one reaching around to lightly rest on my stomach and the other at my right arm. “Elbow down.” His breath tickled my neck.
“Breathe in and release your arrow,” he murmured. I felt his hand as I inhaled and released the arrow. It slammed into the Meere’s head; it bellowed and fell.
We carried the two Nimri, one in my left hand, one in Jared’s right hand, and together we carried the dead Meere between us.
“Wait, how are we going to cook them?” I asked, groaning.
“I skinned the other ones I caught. I told Lehlax and Sine and they both suggested using it and some wood to make a tent, which is what they’ve been doing while we’ve been hunting. We’ll make a fire in the tent and put all the flaps down, except the entrance, which will keep most of the smoke inside. What little does get out, will disappear over the lake, so the Hunters will never see it,” Jared explained.
“Oh, that’s brilliant,” I said.
He smiled. We reached the lake and sure enough, there was a tent by the tree-line away from the water. We handed the animals to Sine and Quinn, who took them beside the tent and started skinning them. The tent was bigger than I thought it would be, about ten feet across the front and side.
“Jared, what did you catch that was so big?” I asked, looking at him.
He grinned.
I shook my head and smiled as we went inside the tent.
There was a fire in the middle, where Lehlax and Axe sat around it, with Ierea sitting toward the back of the tent. He grinned as we came in.
“Glad you could join us,” Lehlax said.
We used the opportunity to talk amongst ourselves, catching everyone up on the events that had happened over the past several weeks. It gave most of the others who knew each other time to renew old friendships. It was about an hour before Quinn and Sine brought in the two Nimri inside. Lehlax already had made a spit over the fire. He stabbed the Nimri right through their mouths and put them both over the flames
“This is amazing!” I smiled and stared at the makeshift spit all-too enthusiastically.
Great, now that you don’t have to act like a man, you’re going to act too much like a woman, I thought to myself.
“Quinn is a bit of a genius when it comes to making things,” Lehlax explained.
Quinn shrugged and informed us the Meere was outside and ready.
As the meat cooked, we all talked together. A nice, normal conversation that had nothing to do with prison, survival, the Hunters, or death.
Somehow, we got on the topic of what we all missed most about our homes.
“Meh wife, ‘er mus’ik, ‘er fixin’s, ‘n jus’ ‘er,” Ierea said, grinning.
I wasn’t entirely sure what all that meant, but the light in his eyes was enough to let us share in his joy.
“My wife would cook the most elaborate meals. I mean, we never had much food, but she would always make a huge meal with whatever food we had. She would make dinner such a big event every night,” Lehlax said.
“I remember how we’d always pray before every meal. We’d thank God for providing for us, for the food on our table, and for the fact that we had each other.” Sine stared out in space as if thinking back to another time.
“I miss the get-togethers where we would all pray and sing together.” I closed my eyes and hummed a bit of a song my mother used to sing to Gabriel and I when we were children.
“Your village did that? What village are you from?” Quinn asked.
I opened my eyes. “Averon. What about you?”
“Lineron. No one in our village did, except inside closed doors. And no one talked about it. Lineron is the kind of village that still tries to have some kind of structure to it, so they appoint one man to oversee things. He thinks if we do things that make us stand out, which includes, and I quote, ‘religious gatherings, political gatherings except when electing the overseer, school gatherings, and banquets,’ then the Aretul would give our village more attention.” His lip curled in disgust.
“That would have been horrible.” My gaze softened on his and I placed a hand on his shoulder.
“Yeah,” Sine agreed.
Quinn shrugged. “My wife and I would visit our parents’ houses and we would pray together.”
“I miss reading the Holy Word,” Axe murmured, surprising me.
“Your village had a copy of it?” Lehlax’s eyes widened in surprise.
“We had enough for most families to keep one inside their house. We would read the Old Stories.” Axe’s voice was distant as if he was living in a completely different time.
I smiled, remembering the heroes my mother would tell me about as she tucked me into bed at night. Most villagers hated God and the idea of Him even. They were bitter, saying that if He let the Aretul take our fathers, our sons, our nephews, our cousins, our brothers, and let them die brutally in Zagerah, without stopping it, then there was no God.
I knew there was a God. There still was and always would be.
“What’s your favorite verse, Sine?” Axe asked him.
“So we may boldly say: The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?’” Sine quoted.
Joy welled up inside my chest.
Wes, who sat near the tent entrance beside Duncan and Runx, scoffed.
“Please! There is no God! Wanna know how I know? Because of this place we’re in! If there was one, and he lets this happen to his people, then I say, forget him!” His jaw clenched and his voice stayed gruff and thick.
I was always bold when it came to my beliefs, and I couldn’t stand it when people would say bad things about God, my Father who loved me and everyone so much. It made matters worse that it was Wes who had spoken out. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. But then, I saw the pain in his eyes and lowered my voice. Despite that I murmured, everyone in the tent stared at me. “God is real, Wes. He watches out for us, even in the moments when it doesn’t seem like it. But you know what? He won’t stop this evil because one of His greatest gifts to mankind is the gift of free will. So, the Aretul, the people who run Zagerah, and even the Hunters themselves have the free will to make their own choices. God is not going to override that or force anyone to do anything. But He can and will protect us. I mean, we’re all here. We’re all alive, aren’t we? So are you. You’re still breathing, Wes. And there’s a reason why. If we die here, there’s a reason. If we die tonight, tomorrow, or thirty years from now, there is a reason. We may not know it, but He is always with us and He has promised to never abandon us.”
Wes gaped at me with widened eyes. For a moment, in the flickering of the firelight, they glistened, but he blinked and the scowl returned, replacing the shock.
“Well said, Averella.” Lehlax patted me on the back as I sat back down, in between him and Quinn.
Sine leaned behind Quinn. “Thank you,” Sine murm
ured as the others talked again, “I needed to hear that.”
“You’re welcome.” My hands trembled, but I was glad my words helped someone. I stared at Wes, and said a mental prayer for him.
By the time I tuned back in to the conversation, Lehlax asked Axe what his favorite verse was.
“‘But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength: they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.’” Axe closed his eyes and breathed deeply as he spoke.
I was so shocked a man who looked as evil as he did, with his ax and hard stare, could believe in God or could believe His Holy Word.
Lehlax nodded.
“And you? Averella?” Sine asked me.
“‘Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?’” I quoted.
“I like that,” Axe murmured. “It’s a good reminder of what you said a few minutes ago. That we’re here for a reason, a purpose,” he pointed out.
“’Who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?’” Lehlax repeated, murmuring.
I smiled. “It’s either that one or ‘So the Lord said to him, Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing, or the blind? Have not I, the Lord? Now therefore, go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.’”
Sine raised an eyebrow. “Why do you like that one so much?”
I shrugged. “I guess it’s the idea that the writer doubted himself. He didn’t think he could do it, even though he knew it was what he needed to do. God told him that He made everything, so He would be there to help him along the way,” I explained.
“When you look at it that way, it’s beautiful.” Sine grinned widely.
“So, tell me this,” Runx started. “If this guy is watching us and always there for us and all that, but he’s not going to control someone else’s choices, yet you say he will help us, then why do we still die in here? Why not pop out a miracle and save us all from the Hunters, huh?”
Wes smiled at him.
“He helps us, and He answers our prayers, but it’s not always in our timing or in the exact way that we want it or expect it. It’s quiet, it’s subtle, and sometimes we might not even realize what happened.” More than anything, I prayed they could see past the pain of whatever they had gone through.
“Jared, what about you? You got a favorite verse?” Lehlax glanced at him.
Jared swallowed deeply and looked down. “I don’t know who you guys are talking about.”
I stared at him, wide-eyed. Lehlax, instead of freezing like I did, got right to it, telling Jared the creation story and about God’s miracles, about God, our Father, constantly watching over us. Lehlax explained to him that He sent down the Savior to save us from our sin, and how He sacrificed His life for us.
“Why sacrifice himself like that? He had… so much power. So many options he could have used to escape,” Jared pointed out.
“He did. But instead, He chose to die to save us all. He had to take our sin upon himself so that we could be freed. Because He rose again, if we believe in Him we can join Him in Heaven,” Lehlax answered.
“He came back to life?” Jared asked.
“He did,” Lehlax answered. He told Jared about sin and how bad we were separated from God, and how because of the Savior, we could be forgiven of our sins. When he talked about forgiveness for all the wrong we had done, Jared swallowed hard.
“You mean none of it matters? None of the horrible things we do?” he asked him.
“It matters, but if you truly seek forgiveness and repentance it will be given to you… if you mean it in your heart,” Lehlax explained.
As the Meere cooked, we had started eating fruit and some of the other stuff Jared had cooked earlier.
Sine started humming an old hymn that most of us knew, and pretty soon, I chimed in with him, humming it, then Lehlax, then Axe, and even Runx hummed to it as best as he could.
Jared watched us, his guarded look gone. His eyes were open and curious, and there was a sparkle of something in his eyes, something I had never seen in his expression before.
Hope.
Chapter 13
JARED
As we all sat around, talking about what they missed about their homes and families, my mind thought back to what I missed.
I had no memory of anything other than Zagerah.
With an ache inside my chest, my mind flashed to what I had enjoyed—the first joy I had felt in so long.
Averella had pulled her shirt up so it was even with her ribs and I started on the cut on her side. My hands lightly touched her side as I looked at the wound. It wasn’t bad, so I moved on to the one on her stomach. My heart sped up and it was hard to concentrate. What was happening? Why did I react this way? Was this what being nervous felt like?
I believed it was. I was nervous.
Why was I nervous? It was a weird feeling, and annoying because I couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t think about anything but her, and the feel of her flat stomach against my hands.
I swallowed deeply, trying to control my breathing.
She nodded in response. I barely touched her neck, where the cut was, and, slowly, I slid my fingers around, so they touched the back of her neck. I liked having my hands around her. Holding her made me feel like I would break her, but, somehow, at the same time, it made me feel like she was giving me some of her determination.
I wanted to kiss her.
I didn’t know how I knew about that, or where the urge came from. It was like she had this pull, a pull that wanted me to get as close to her as possible and not let her out of my sight, or out of my arms. She leaned into me as I leaned into her and our lips lightly touched.
My heart raced, and I felt something then, something deep inside my chest that spiraled up inside of me, all through me. My stomach did jumps, and my blood raced the same way it did before a good hunt, before a fight I expected; only I wasn’t fighting.
What was that feeling?
We pulled apart, and I looked at her, wondering if she felt the same thing I did.
There was a feeling in my chest, something I didn’t know or understand. The pull toward her was back and I realized as alien as it was to me, I liked it. I wanted more of it. I had to know if she was feeling it too, maybe she could explain what it was… or help me understand it.
“Did—" I stopped, not sure how to ask it, if she would understand what I meant or if this was making her uncomfortable. “Did you… feel that?” I asked her, hoping for an answer, needing an answer, wanting to be near her, wanting to understand this thing I felt for her.
“Yes,” she replied, and my heart skipped. She smiled, and it made me want to leap and shout and smile with her. Why was I so…happy? I had to know.
Even thinking about it, I couldn’t stop the smile that spread onto my lips.
At first, I had only wanted to learn more about Averella’s secrets. Then, it slowly became about protecting all of them, the prisoners. They lived such a different life. They were loyal to each other, protected each other, and had something between them, a camaraderie that I had never experienced before, and yet, I wanted it more than anything.
When I found out Averella was a woman, the urge to protect her only grew stronger. Tending to her wounds, helping her… For reasons I couldn’t understand, it was as if those simple actions could slowly start to make up for the horrible things I had done. Yet the more time I spent with her, the more I admired her strength, her courage, her determination. She had willingly come into a prison filled with unknown horrors to save her brother. She had fought the Hunters, including me, time and time again. Not only had she evaded and outsmarted them, but she protected men she barely knew and did not only focus on herself or her own survival.
Knowing her and seeing her strength as she slowly healed and fought through the pain every day, only increased that pull I felt toward her. I wanted to protect her and more
than anyone, she deserved to be protected and cared for. Not because she couldn’t do it herself, but because she was a far better person than I could ever hope to be.
Watching her speak with the others, all these thoughts stirred in my mind, merging with feelings I couldn’t name or understand. I wanted to continue holding her forever, to never let her out of my sight.
Then other memories surfaced, and I thought back to when I had decided to split off to cook the meat away from the camp at the lake.
There were three animals, and I knew the Nimri could both be put over the fire and cooked at the same time. The Gwis, however, would take a little bit longer, but I guessed I would be back at the lake in an hour or so.
I skinned the meat and cooked it. By the time it was done, it was about two hours later.
Stepping on the fire, I grabbed the meat and the furs and started to walk off, when I heard something.
Hindah.
I grabbed my blade, keeping the meat and furs in the pack I had strapped to my belt, and glared through the trees, just as he came through.
“Well, well, well, look who I’ve found. The traitor,” he hissed.
I glared at him.
“Tell me, how does she feel about the things you’ve done? The people you’ve murdered. Does she care for you, knowing the horrors you’ve witnessed and even committed yourself?” His eyes narrowed at me as his tattoos rippled and swelled on his arms.
I winced.
“Hit a nerve, did I?” he asked, smirking at me, holding his Inquiri blade in his right hand.
I glared at him, getting in a low defensive crouch.
“Unless she doesn’t know? I’ve got to say I’m not surprised you lied, but lied to her? Jared, that’s a new low, even for you.”
“Fight me, or back off,” I snapped at him.
He laughed. “You know I’m right, Jared. And you can see I’m only here to taunt you. The other Hunters are tracking a few more friends of yours and will find them soon. If they don’t find Averella first.”