by G. R. Lyons
Chapter 2
JAYDEN ROLLED over in bed and felt around for Dirk, then muttered a curse when he only encountered empty sheets. Blinking slowly, Jayden lifted his head and looked around. Dirk's apartment felt too quiet. When Jayden looked at the clock on the far nightstand, he saw that it was just gone seven in the morning, which meant Dirk was already at work.
Groaning, Jayden flopped back onto his pillow, then rolled the other way and snatched his phone off the nightstand on his side of the bed. He brought up his contacts and tapped on Dirk's number, then yawned as he listened to the phone ring.
“Hey,” Dirk answered. “What are you doing up so early?”
Jayden grumbled as he snuggled down farther under the blankets. “I woke up and you weren't here,” he complained.
Dirk chuckled. “Sorry. I didn't want to wake you. I know how you like to sleep in.”
“Yeah, but I hate waking up alone.”
“Welcome to adulthood,” Dirk teased.
“Jerk,” Jayden said with a pout. “You've spoiled me. I didn't think I'd get used to sharing a bed this fast.” And that was saying something. Until two months ago, Jayden had still been a virgin despite being twenty-four years old. Besides that, he'd had his own apartment since he was sixteen, his trust fund allowing him the freedom to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.
And what he'd wanted had never included random hookups. He'd been holding out for Mr. Right. Then Dirk happened. Jayden wasn't convinced yet that Dirk was The One—they were still too new to be sure—but he sure as all hells couldn't resist the man.
“Me neither,” Dirk agreed, his voice low and husky.
“Fuck,” Jayden gasped, shoving his free hand down under the sheets so he could grab his cock.
Dirk hummed low in his throat. “Are you still naked?”
“You know I am,” Jayden said, hissing in a breath as he thrust up into his fist. “That's how you left me. In your bed.”
“Hmmm. Maybe, if you stay over again tonight, I'll fuck you awake tomorrow before I go to work. I'll do it nice and slow.”
Jayden whimpered. “Dirk…”
“I–” Dirk broke off when a beep sounded. “Sorry, one second.” The line went muffled, but Jayden was pretty sure he heard Spencer's voice in the background.
Mmmph. Spencer. Dirk's hot executive assistant. Jayden winced and inwardly cursed, feeling a little guilty for even thinking it. Then again, it wasn't like he was going to act on it. A man could still look but not touch, right?
After a moment, Dirk came back on the line: “Hitting the ground running, as usual. I need to take a call from the marketing director. Talk later?”
Jayden sighed and let his hand fall away from his cock. “Fine,” he muttered, ending the call and dropping his phone on the bed. Cock-blocked by Spencer again. Granted, it wasn't Spencer himself doing anything intentionally—it was just the fact that Dirk was at work and had to do his job—but it always came about because Spencer brought Dirk some new thing that needed his attention.
Dirk was important and had to make a lot of big decisions. Jayden knew that. Sort of. He'd never actually seen it firsthand but he guessed it was probably the same as what his dad and grandfather went through with their respective businesses. And Jayden had been dragged into enough board meetings over the years to have witnessed that, at least.
Ugh. Why did adulting have to be so boring?
With his cock now thoroughly deflated and his mind too awake to go back to sleep, Jayden slid out of bed, went to use the washroom, pulled on a clean pair of briefs, and headed out to the kitchen. He helped himself to a cup of coffee, then grabbed his notebook and plopped down on the couch.
Jayden flipped through the pages until he got to the design he'd started in the middle of the night. He'd fallen asleep right after Dirk had fucked his brains out, just like he always did, then woke up a few hours later, feeling a restlessness he couldn't name. It had been there right from the start of their relationship. He liked Dirk. A lot. But there was something missing from their relationship, and Jayden couldn't figure out what that something might be.
Granted, they were still very new, so he was probably overthinking it. The vague unease wouldn't go away, though. A sort of incompleteness that shadowed all their moments together. Even Dirk admitted to feeling it, though he mentioned it less than Jayden did.
So Jayden tried to fill the void—and distract himself—with new designs. He tilted his head, studying the incomplete sketch he'd toyed with before crawling back into bed with Dirk. Picking up his pencil, Jayden played with the lines of the coat he'd drawn, making the sleeves a touch longer, the lapels a bit narrower. He sketched and erased and sketched again, but the sense of unease was still there.
Groaning, Jayden flipped the page and started over, slashing lines across the paper as a new idea formed. But that one didn't work either, and he gave up halfway through, flipping to another blank page to start over again. He got through five pages of aborted designs before he finally dropped his pencil and slumped back on the couch with a sigh.
Maybe he just needed to relieve some tension and clear his head. Dirk had gotten him all hot and bothered before Spencer had cock-blocked them, after all. Jayden drained the last of his coffee, then got up and trudged back to Dirk's bedroom, trying to ignore the eerie silence of the apartment.
He threw himself on his back, closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to see how empty the bed was. Lifting his hips, he shoved his briefs down to mid-thigh, then grabbed his cock and tried to stroke it back to life, thinking of how turned on he'd felt when he'd called Dirk earlier.
The memory of Dirk's husky voice made his cock start to twitch with interest. Biting his lip, Jayden fantasized how that call should have played out, with Dirk describing just how nice and slow a fuck they'd get to enjoy if Jayden stayed over again, Dirk waking Jayden up by sliding into his body, claiming him, owning him.
“Fuck,” Jayden gasped. That was just what he needed: promises of a nice, slow, sleepy fuck to bring him awake in Dirk's arms. Then he could fall right back asleep once Dirk was done with him, leaving him sweaty and spent in his bed, too blissed-out to move.
It would mean waking up alone hours later, of course, but–
No. He wasn't going to think about that. Jayden squeezed his eyes tighter and sped up his strokes, imagining the gentle, steady glide of Dirk's cock inside him.
That would actually be new for them. In the two months they'd been dating, all their sex had been frantic, desperate, Dirk pounding into him so hard and fast that it left his ass and the backs of his thighs bright red. Jayden loved how hot and heavy they got, but a slow fuck sounded like a nice change, too. Even if it didn't really feel like their style.
If anything, it seemed more appropriate for someone like Spencer.
Jayden cursed and gritted his teeth, not wanting to think about Dirk's executive assistant. The man was always interrupting their fun. He tried to put the image back in his head of Dirk gently rocking into him, but instead he found Spencer there in Dirk's place, holding him tight as he slipped his cock so slowly into Jayden's body that Jayden couldn't help but be overwhelmingly aware of every single inch.
His cock twitched, and Jayden hissed in a breath as a bolt of arousal shot through him. What the fuck? He shook his head, trying to dislodge the image, but it only got replaced by another: Spencer fucking Dirk while Jayden was made to watch.
Jayden threw his head back with a shout as his orgasm slammed through him, leaving him shaking and dizzy with the intensity of it. His arm fell limply to his side, trembling too much for him to keep it on his cock. Chest heaving with ragged breaths, Jayden slowly blinked the haze from his eyes while he tried to figure out what the hells had just happened.
He lay splayed out in a stupor for a long while, his thoughts so tangled up and confused that he almost swore he didn't know which way was up. Cursing under his breath, Jayden got up, shucked his briefs, and padded naked into the washroom. He cranked on t
he shower and stood under the hot water, idly scrubbing the dried cum off his belly and watching the water swirl down the drain.
It had to be just some stupid metaphor. Spencer had taken Dirk away from him with work, so his imagination had showed him Spencer taking Dirk away from him in bed, too. That had to be all it was.
But then why was the thought of his boyfriend getting fucked by another man such a turn-on?
Spencer was admittedly easy on the eyes. Jayden couldn't deny that. But the man was so quiet and mild, whereas Jayden always preferred his men more obviously dominant. Dirk fit that to no end: confident, driven, in charge. Jayden just couldn't picture Spencer that way.
Unless Spencer was one of those quiet types who wound up being total animals in bed.
Jayden gasped as his cock twitched with interest again. He cursed under his breath, snatched up the bottle of body wash, and made quick work of cleaning and rinsing himself before he shut off the water and snatched up a towel. He dried off vigorously, then got dressed, grabbed his things, and caught a cab back to his own apartment. Dirk's place was just too empty, and all his confusing thoughts weren't helping matters. He had a boyfriend now. Fantasizing about other men really shouldn't be allowed.
Once home, he put his stuff away, got changed into something more comfortable, then curled up on the couch with his notebook again. He flicked through the pages, then eagerly jumped up when he heard his phone beep with a text notification.
Don't forget to sign up for business classes today, Dirk wrote.
Jayden groaned. He wanted to start his own men's fashion line more than anything, but he didn't know the first thing about business. Dirk, on the other hand, ran a men's fashion magazine but couldn't draw for shit. It was actually kind of adorable to watch the man even try to make stick figures.
So they'd made a bargain when they started dating: Jayden would sign up for business classes if Dirk found an introductory art course. Two months later, neither of them had followed through.
I was just looking into that, Jayden lied. He fired off the text, then silenced all notifications and set the phone aside.
Grabbing his notebook, he got up and went into the second bedroom, which served as his craft room. Instead of a bed, a large table dominated one wall, giving him plenty of work space as well as holding his sewing machine and his serger. The opposite wall was covered with bins and shelves holding everything from bolts and scraps of fabric to all different colors of thread and a massive assortment of trim pieces and appliques. A pair of mannequins stood in one corner, both currently bare.
In the walk-in closet, more bins and shelves held all the fabric, trim, and supplies that didn't fit in the room, while drawers and rods contained either unfinished pieces or items that didn't turn out quite the way he'd imagined them on paper. The latter all needed to be altered or taken completely apart. Just like signing up for business classes, though, they'd been relegated to the land of someday.
Jayden grabbed an unfinished shirt that caught his eye and took it over to the work table. He stitched up one of the seams he'd never gotten around to finishing, then started working on attaching the sleeves. Once the collar, sleeves, and hem were neatly finished, he tried it on, turning this way and that in front of a mirror before taking it off and making a slight adjustment to the sides so it was tailored to his body. When he was satisfied with that, he dug through several drawers of buttons before he found the perfect ones, stitching them on by hand.
With the last bit of loose thread cut off, Jayden put on the finished product and checked the fit again. Perfect! It was just the thing he needed to pair with the grey trousers he'd made last month. Jayden took off the shirt and set it aside—he'd need to wash and press it before he ever dared to wear it out in public—then caught sight of some sky blue cloth with bold, black, swirling patterns all over it. He'd never known what to do with it before, but he suddenly needed to see that cloth made into a waistcoat.
Jayden got lost in his work, measuring and cutting and sewing while the world went forgotten around him.
A harsh buzz cut through the silence of his apartment, almost making him veer off the pattern he was cutting. Carefully setting his scissors aside, Jayden straightened up, his hunched shoulders protesting the movement, and looked around.
The buzz sounded again. That was the intercom from the front door. Frowning, Jayden got up and shuffled over to one of the wall panels he had in every room, pressing a button to bring up the live video feed of the hallway outside his apartment.
Jayden blinked, then jabbed at the speaker button. “Mace?”
His best friend, Mason, looked right into the camera and grinned. “Ah, so you are alive in there.”
“Shouldn't you be at work?” Jayden asked, then noticed the time on the security display. It was almost six already. He'd lost the entire day.
“Let me in, Baby Jay,” Mason said instead of answering his question.
Jayden grumbled. “You know I hate that nickname.”
“Jay,” Mason warned.
“Fine, Daddy,” Jayden replied, throwing in as much snark as he could muster. He pressed the button that remotely unlocked the front door, then strode out to meet his friend as Mason let himself in.
“I'm not your daddy,” Mason said as he pushed the door shut behind him.
“You started it.”
Mason chuckled, nodding in agreement, then quickly sobered as he gave Jayden a thorough once-over. “Everything alright?”
“Yeah. Why wouldn't it be?”
“Dirk called me. Said he couldn't reach you and wondered if we were hanging out or something.”
“Oh.” Jayden went over to the coffee table and picked up his phone. Sure enough, he had missed calls from Dirk as well as from Mason. He turned the notification volume back up, then fired off a quick text to Dirk to tell him he was fine before looking at Mason again. “Had it muted,” he said by way of explanation, wagging the phone before setting it back down.
“Ah.” Mason looked him over again. “Sewing?”
“What?” Jayden looked down at himself and found stray bits of thread stuck to his clothes. “Oh.” He picked off a thread and dropped it on the carpet. “Yeah.”
Mason tilted his head, narrowing his eyes. “Alright. What's up?”
“What do you mean?”
Mason crossed his arms over his chest. Considering he wasn't much bigger then Jayden himself, the man exuded authority, a total daddy dom if there ever was one despite his twinkish size. “You've been sewing all day, haven't you?”
“Yeah,” Jayden said, biting his lip. “So?”
“So any time you lose yourself in arts and crafts, it's because someone's told you to do something that you don't want to do.”
Jayden hugged himself with his left arm, rested his right elbow on his left wrist, and made a loose fist with his right hand, running his thumb back and forth across his lower lip. “Maybe I just got into the zone,” he hedged.
“Jay.” Mason sighed and closed the distance between them, grabbing Jayden by the shoulders and leveling a look at him. “Talk to me. What's going on? It's not Gramps again, is it?”
“Oh. No.” Jayden shook his head. “That's handled.” His grandfather had been trying to get him to agree to inheriting the textile business someday, but Jayden had finally convinced the man that he had no interest in it whatsoever.
“So what's wrong? You're not having problems with Dirk already, are you?”
“I–” Jayden thought about lying, but this was Mason. His best friend. He let out a sigh. “There's something missing, and I don't know what it is.”
Mason quirked his mouth to one side, then started to speak, only to get interrupted by the sound of Jayden's stomach growling. “You haven't eaten all day, have you?”
Jayden ducked his head. “No,” he muttered.
Mason chuckled and put an arm around Jayden's shoulders, steering him toward the kitchen. “Come on. I'll make you some dinner and you can tell me all about
it.”
Jayden eyed him skeptically. “Maybe I should make us some dinner.”
Mason scowled at him. “What's wrong with my cooking?”
“How much time have you got?”
“Brat,” Mason muttered, then gave him a gentle shove between the shoulder blades. “Go sit down. I'm cooking.”
Jayden rolled his eyes. “Yes, Daddy.”
“Don't make me spank you.”
“Promises, promises,” Jayden muttered, but he couldn't help laughing as Mason pushed him onto a bar stool and strode into the kitchen like he owned the place, pulling things out to cook. The quiet familiarity settled something inside him. Mason would know what to do, even if his advice was to merely wait and see what happened.
“So,” Mason said a while later as he set two plates down on the bar and took a seat across from him, “what do you mean, something's missing?”
Chapter 3
SOMETHING WAS definitely missing. Dirk could feel it, but he couldn't pin down exactly what caused the sensation. Maybe it was coming home to an empty apartment when he was getting used to seeing Jayden in the evenings so much recently. Maybe it was just the normal restlessness he felt this time of year when he was missing his family but his annual visit home was still a couple months away.
At the moment, he was tempted to chalk the feeling up to the fact that Jayden had gone radio silent all day long—though Jayden had finally sent a text half an hour ago, saying he was fine and would call later—but Dirk knew it was more than that. More than just one odd day.
There was some crack in his relationship with Jayden. Some indescribable void. They'd both mentioned feeling it right from the beginning, but Dirk felt no closer to defining what the problem was.
Dirk got undressed and took a shower to refresh himself, worn down by another long day at the office, then pulled on an old pair of sweatpants before padding out to the kitchen. He heated up some leftovers from last night's dinner and sat down in front of the wallscreen. He turned on a news channel, but the financial report couldn't hold his attention like it normally did.