by Marie Force
“The upside is I’ll be able to pay off my student loans myself, which is important to me.”
“Ummm, about that…”
She spins in her seat to look at me, disturbing Fluff, who lets out a grunt of annoyance. “What?”
“I, um… You’re going to be mad.”
“Did you pay off my loans?”
“I, well… Yes, I did.”
“Flynn! I told you I didn’t want you to do that!”
“I know, honey, and I only did it so you wouldn’t worry about it. You lost your job. How were you going to make the payments?”
“I would’ve figured something out. Eventually.”
“In the meantime, you would’ve missed payments and your credit would be affected. I didn’t want that for you.”
“So you went behind my back and did something I specifically asked you not to do?”
“I took care of my wife.”
“I agreed to be submissive to you in the bedroom, but only in the bedroom.”
“You think that’s what this is? Me dominating you?”
“That’s how it seems to me.”
“Well, it’s not. It’s me taking care of you.”
“It’s you doing something I told you not to do.”
“Put yourself in my place, Nat. If I’m stressing out about something you can easily fix, what would you do?”
“I’d respect your wishes.”
“Well, sorry to be such a bastard that I couldn’t stand to see you upset about something I could fix for you with a phone call.”
“I’m going to reimburse you.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am!”
“If you think I’m going to take your money, you’re crazy.”
“But I’m expected to take yours like the dutiful little wife?”
“Now you’re just trying to piss me off.”
“Good, then we’re both pissed off.”
As much as I wish I hadn’t made her mad, I love that she feels free to say anything she wants to me. I love that she’s mad at me. I’m far more accustomed to women who go out of their way to please me rather than challenge me and risk losing my affection. None of them ever figured out that all I really wanted was for them to be real with me. With Natalie, it’s as real as it gets. And she’s furious with me. I can tell by the rigid set to her shoulders as she stares out the passenger-side window.
I reach for her hand. “I’m sorry, Nat.”
She pulls her hand free. “No, you’re not.”
She’s so cute when she’s pissed. “I’m honestly sorry that I did something you told me not to do and that it upset you.”
“Save it. You’re just sorry you got caught.”
I decide this would be the perfect time to send the text I’ve drafted. I press Send and wait for the chime of her phone.
She pulls it from her pocket, reads the text and then looks at me, incredulous. “Are you for real right now?”
“As real as it gets. You know how to say no. If I don’t hear the word, I expect you to follow my instructions.” I lean in close so I can see her green eyes, so different from what I’m used to but still my Nat. “To. The. Letter.”
She shakes her head and resumes giving me the cold shoulder as she stares out the window. In this case, silence is golden. She doesn’t say the word that would put a stop to my plans before they get started.
I flatten my palm over my coat pocket, where I’ve zipped the items I brought from my stash in New York. She has no idea what she’s in for on this flight.
He’s crazy if he thinks I’m going to have sex with him after finding out he went against my wishes and paid off my loans. I’m appreciative of his desire to care for me and take away my worries. He’s incredibly generous and thoughtful. But it worries me that he thinks it’s okay to do something I specifically asked him not to do—without even talking to me about it first.
That’s a dangerous precedent, even more so than his propensity for buying me extravagant gifts. I have to make him understand that I won’t put up with him disregarding my wishes on important matters. That’s not the kind of marriage I want to have. We’re capable of better than that.
I want two pillows propped under your hips so your luscious ass is the first thing I see when I walk in the door. Present that ass to me to do with as I please.
I want to growl from the frustration that accompanies the slow drumbeat of desire that has me shifting in my seat. He knows exactly what he’s doing to me with that text, which he obviously prepared in advance and then sent while we were in the middle of an argument. Does he think that scrambling my brain with sex will make me forget I’m annoyed with him?
Well, his plan is working, because rather than thinking about how angry I am, I’m thinking about my ass presented to him as his own personal plaything. I recall the times he’s touched me there before and how much I loved it. I admit to being intensely curious about what he has planned.
We don’t say another word to each other as we cross the bridge into New Jersey and arrive at the airport a short time later. We’re loaded onto the plane with the usual efficiency, and greeted by yet another flight attendant who tries to pretend she’s not freaking out that Flynn Godfrey is on her plane.
With Fluff on my lap, I settle into the seat by the window so I can continue to watch the world go by while trying to figure out what to do about my current dilemma. Do I give him what he wants even after he directly went against my wishes? If I give in to him now, will that be rolling over? Or can I separate the sex from the larger life issue that now stands between us?
I’m extremely confused but also extremely turned on by the demand he has made of me via text message.
The flight attendant offers drinks, and Flynn requests Bloody Marys for both of us. I’ve never had one, but I’m willing to try one if it means I don’t have to speak to him to tell him I don’t want it. I want him to admit he was wrong to pay off those loans without talking to me about it first. After the drinks are served, the attendant tells us she’ll be back after takeoff to check on us.
I have to admit I like the taste of the spicy drink as well as the heat of the liquor as it travels through my veins.
As the plane races down the runway and soars into the sky, my heart begins to thud in my chest, again like a bass drumbeat that echoes in my ears and pulses in my throat. Every pleasure point in my body is on full alert, beating in sync with the drum. With the plane gaining altitude by the second, I’m running out of time. Any minute now, the seat belt sign will go off and I’ll have to either use my safe word or follow his orders.
The chime of the seat belt sign turning off ricochets through the cabin like a gunshot, startling me even though I knew it was imminent.
“Good afternoon from the cockpit, Mr. and Mrs. Godfrey, and welcome aboard. You’re now free to move around the cabin. We expect a relatively smooth ride but ask you to use caution as unexpected turbulence is always a possibility. For now, sit back, relax and enjoy our five-hour flight to Los Angeles.”
Decision time. As if there’d ever been a decision to make. I will submit to him sexually, but I’ll not be submissive in the rest of our life. If he won’t take my money, I’ll find a way to reimburse him the same way he went about paying off the loans in the first place—behind his back.
I can feel Flynn’s eyes on me, waiting to see what I’ll do.
I unbuckle my seat belt and move carefully to settle Fluff’s sleeping body in my seat. Without so much as a glance at my husband, I make my way to the back of the plane to follow his orders. I use the bathroom to freshen up before removing my clothes and crawling onto the bed, reaching for the pillows to position them under my hips.
Part of me can’t believe I’m doing this. A month ago, I was untouched by any man other than the one who attacked me so long ago. Now here I am, preparing to offer my ass to my husband. It’s surreal, to say the least.
I lean over the pillows, my legs parted to hold me
up, my head resting against my forearms. I try not to think about what he’ll see when he comes into the room. Once again, the position coupled with the anticipation has the intended effect on me. My entire body is humming with desire.
Just as I’m beginning to wonder if he’ll make me wait as long as he did last night, the door opens.
My skin prickles as I imagine him looking at me laid out for him this way. I wonder what he’s thinking, if he’s pleased with what he sees. The door closes, and the snick of the lock sliding into place makes my heart pound. It’s the not knowing, the wondering, the speculating, the desperate desire that make me crazy. It’s a heady combination, as he well knows.
He doesn’t say a word, and if he’s doing anything, I can’t tell because he’s doing it in utter silence. The only sound is that of the low hum of the plane engines. My legs begin to tremble from the effort to hold myself up and open to his perusal. I know he’s looking. I can feel his eyes on me, which somehow makes this hotter than the hottest sex we’ve ever had, and he hasn’t even touched me yet.
After he takes us both on the wildest ride of my life, he turns me to face him. “That was so hot, sweetheart. Did it feel good for you, too?”
“Again, you have to ask? The screaming orgasm wasn’t proof enough?”
“I like to hear the words.”
“I loved it.”
“I’m glad to hear that. Were you scared at all?”
“Not in the way that you mean. I was anxious because I didn’t know what to expect and couldn’t see what you were doing.”
“That’s part of it. Denying one sense heightens the others. Because blindfolding is a hard limit for you, the position today is a way around that. You can’t see me, but you’re not in the dark.”
“You’re very clever.”
“I’ve been practicing for years. I’ve learned a few tricks along the way.”
It pains me to think of him practicing with other women.
“What? Something just upset you.”
“It’s just the thought of you doing this with other women…” I close my fist and rest it on my breastbone. “Hurts right here, as unreasonable as that may be.”
“It’s not unreasonable. The thought of any other man touching you makes me crazy, so I get it. But you should know, every woman who came before you was the dress rehearsal for the main event. They were getting me ready for you.”
“That’s sweet of you to say, but if we ever run into any of them, don’t tell me. I’m better off not being able to picture them.”
“I thought you knew everything about me before we met?”
It’s funny now that I thought I knew him so well before we met, when I knew only what was reported about him. The real man is so much more complex than even the paparazzi who stalk him relentlessly could ever begin to imagine. “I know about the famous ones. I’m sure there were legions of others.”
“Not legions…”
I poke his belly, making him grunt with laughter.
“You’re the only one who has truly mattered, Nat. You have to know that.”
“I do, but I never get tired of hearing it.”
“I’ll have to tell you more often, then.” He rubs his stomach and stretches. “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. Want to get up and eat and watch a movie?”
I stretch languidly in the bed, not sure I’m capable of moving.
“Come on, lazy girl. Time to get up and have dinner with your husband.” He disappears into the adjoining bathroom to wash up.
I get up slowly and take a long stretch. In the bag I brought with me to New York, I find clean panties, a pair of sweats and a long-sleeve T-shirt that I put on without a bra. There is definitely something to be said for traveling in luxurious comfort. The cross-country flights are beginning to feel routine to me.
He comes out, and I take a turn in the bathroom before joining Flynn in the salon.
The flight attendant comes out with menus and wine lists for each of us.
“I’m in the mood for seafood and chardonnay,” he says after a quick perusal. “What do you think, sweetheart?”
I study the menu while the attendant waits to take my order. When I decide, I look up at her. “I’ll have the same.”
“Very good,” the perky woman says, taking our menus. “I’ll be right back with your wine.”
“Are still mad about the loans?”
“Yes, I’m still mad. You can’t sex me out of being mad at you.”
“Damn. It was worth a try.” He turns in his seat so he’s facing me. “Nat, listen, I know you’re pissed about the loans, and I get why. I suppose I can’t have it both ways—”
“Have what both ways?”
“I love that you couldn’t care less about my money, but with that comes your fierce independence, which I also respect.”
“I’m not with you because of your money.”
“I know that, sweetheart. That’s what I’m saying. I appreciate that you don’t care about the money, but the fact is, I have more of it than I can ever spend in a lifetime. Hell, in two lifetimes. And seeing you worried or upset about paying off those loans after you lost your job because of me… I had to fix that for you. I hope you can try to understand my perspective.”
“It was nice of you. I won’t deny that, but the way you did it was wrong. We talked about it, I told you I wanted some time to figure out how to handle the loans, and you disregarded my wishes. I’m not going to put up with that, Flynn. I don’t care who you are.”
“Come here.”
“What? We’re going to eat, and we’re having a conversation.”
“Come. Here.”
Aggravated, I get up from my seat and stand in front of his. “I’m here. What do you want?”
He reaches for me and brings me down on his lap.
“What has gotten into you?”
“You have. You’re so deep inside me, I don’t know where I leave off and you begin.” He kisses me. “What you just said…”
“What did I say?”
“‘I don’t care who you are.’”
“Don’t take that the wrong way.”
“I took it exactly the right way. You don’t care who I am, and I love you for that. I love you so fucking much.”
“You’re crazy, you know that?”
“Maybe so, but you can’t know how precious it is for me to love a woman who would dare to say those words to me.”
“Have I earned a punishment?” I ask with a coy smile. I’m deeply moved by what he said and that he’s not afraid to tell me how he feels.
“Nah. I could never punish you for being the perfect woman for me. Besides, that’s in there, not out here. I’ll never punish you for something you do in our regular life. That’s not what we agreed to.”
I lean against him, loving being close to him as always.
“Are you okay, sweetheart? Tell me the truth. You weren’t afraid before, were you?
He’s so sweet in his concern for me. “Not at all. Everything we’ve done has been… well… indescribable.”
“Try.”
“Try what?”
“To describe it.”
“Like in actual words?”
“That’d be good.”
“You like making me say things that I’d never ordinarily say, don’t you?”
“Uh-huh.” His hand inches up my thigh until my hand on top of it stops its progress. “I want to talk about it, all of it. The talking helps to build the trust between us. It makes it more intimate.”
“I’ll give you the words only if you let me reimburse you for the loans you paid off.”
“You drive a hard bargain, my love, but you’ve got a deal. These had better be some really good words.”
I lean in as close as I can get to him and let my lips brush against his ear. I love when he jolts and his arms tighten around me. “What we just did… I loved everything about it. I loved the anticipation, the not knowing what would happen…” I whisper i
n his ear, going for ultimate effect as I describe everything we did from my perspective.
“Stop.”
I pull back so I can see his face, which is tight and tense. “What’s wrong?”
“If you say another word, I’m going to fuck you again right here in this chair, which will certainly shock the flight attendant.”
“So they were good words?” I ask innocently, thrilled to know I’ve completely undone him.
“They were fucking awesome words.”
I return my lips to his ear. “After we eat, maybe I’ll let you fuck me right here in this chair.”
“Stop!”
Chapter 10
Just when I think she can’t possibly get any more perfect, she takes me apart, piece by piece, with a description of our lovemaking that sets me on fire. Hearing those words from her sweet mouth is one of the most incredibly arousing things I’ve ever experienced—second only to the sight of her gorgeous ass on full display for me earlier. That’s something I’ll never forget.
Watching her blossom into the amazing, sexy woman she was always meant to be has been one of the most satisfying experiences in my life. That she’s been able to overcome her painful past and put her trust and well-being in my hands is something I’ll never take for granted.
That’s especially true after spending a very long day and night thinking I might’ve lost her forever.
The meal of broiled scallops, rice and vegetables is delicious, but I barely taste a bite as I satisfy one kind of hunger only so I’ll have the strength to satisfy the other kind.
Natalie shares her scallops with Fluff, who stares at her adoringly, waiting for whatever scraps she chooses to share. She’s serene and relaxed while I’m as tightly wound as I’ve ever been after listening to her description of our sex. I want to tell her to hurry up, to eat already and be done so we can get on with it, but I don’t do that because I’m almost afraid to show her what she’s started.
Eventually, the attendant comes to collect our plates and refills our wineglasses. “Can I get you anything else?”