Cyrus had muscles, but he was leaner than Warren, and had that tall, dark and handsome swagger that melted my heart, but then he said, “Thanks. I didn’t know you were bringing it.”
He shrugged and said, “I forgot the keys, so I figured I’d swing by to get them.”
I glanced at the bag and guessed the phone was for me. My heart raced even faster, but I asked, “How did you get here if you forgot your car keys?”
Cyrus waved for us to go to the grand room where we danced earlier.
The furniture was back in place.
Warren then said, “It’s for my motorcycle. You must be Sarah.”
“I am.” I nodded at him.
Warren stopped near the entryway, and said, “Maman says you're nice. Are you nice enough to let me see my nephew?”
Ahh, so his family had already discussed me.
My heart thundered, but I didn’t ask.
Cyrus broke the tense moment by saying, “He’s sleeping. Let’s get a tea. When he’s up, he’s up.”
Good. I nodded and gazed at Cyrus’s profile. He wasn’t just handsome, but he was stable. Plus, my body became alive when he glanced at me.
Warren stood and said, “I can leave you two alone.”
Cyrus's cheeks reddened, though I wasn’t sure why, but he said, “Stay. I insist.”
“I agree,” I added.
Warren shrugged and joined us on a couch as he said, “Insist? Well, then I have no choice.”
I took the chair next to Cyrus, so the brothers were sharing the couch.
Cyrus glanced at me.
Warren pointed and asked, “Did my brother wink?”
“So?” Cyrus asked, and swung toward his brother.
The staff brought us all tea, but Warren didn’t notice when someone offered him a plate as he said, “He’s been unhappy for a while. It’s nice to see him smiling.”
I took the tea, smiled, and thanked the server, who seriously could have been me in another life. Then I asked, “He was unhappy because of my sister?”
Warren gulped the hot tea. Then he said, “Not all of us. He’s been like me in the past year, mulling over life choices.”
He’d not said a word, but whatever he did, he’d be serious about it.
Cyrus then gently slapped his brother’s arm and said, “Warren's telling you about how he’s thinking of quitting his job and traveling the world.”
Warren’s lips thinned. “That’s not what I want. I want to prove to myself that I’m worthy.”
Cyrus raised his eyebrow, gulped his hot tea fast and then said, “Of what? Inheriting Pedar’s money?”
My drink needed more time to cool before I could use it as an excuse to pretend I wasn't listening.
Fortunately, the baby monitor wailed at just that moment. I jumped and so did Cyrus. Warren tapped his leg and followed us as he said, “We must sound like spoiled brats. Time to meet my nephew.”
I squeezed Cyrus’s arm and said, “I’ll get the bottle and meet you two in Joshua's room.”
He nodded and I rushed to the kitchen.
A few bottles were already made, and more of the bottle brand I’d bought in addition to the breast milk were now in the fridge, ready for us. I grabbed one and ran after the men.
As I made it up the stairs, I realized Joshua wasn’t crying while Cyrus held him.
His brother said, “Sarah’s pretty. Are you interested?”
My heart raced, but I stilled, forgetting to breathe.
Cyrus then said, “She is pretty—”
No. I threw open the door because I didn’t want to hear his answer. I hated spying and lying. My skin broke out in goose bumps as I neared him and placed the bottle in the baby’s mouth as I said, “Let’s get you started feeding the baby.”
Warren smiled and said, “He’s got Cyrus’s good looks, but I've got to go. You kids have fun.”
Kids? His expression was casual, but he seemed more carefree than Cyrus.
Or maybe it was me since I never had much of a sense of humor.
I was concentrating on the question so hard, I almost missed it when Warren said goodbye and let himself out.
Once I was alone with Cyrus again, the air tinged with electricity as I asked, “How come your brother is blond?”
He shrugged. “Half my brothers were adopted, but that's never mattered. Family is family.”
I took a deep, deep breath, maybe trying to inhale some of Cyrus's sweetness.
If he truly felt that way, then maybe Joshua would have a better life than my brother. My lips curved as I said, “That’s sounds wonderful.”
Cyrus directed us to nearby chairs, and rocked and fed his son as he said, “Don’t let Warren fool you with his wanting to run away.”
“Why?” I asked and folded my hands.
Cyrus gazed at his son while he said, “He’ll eventually marry and raise his own children.”
“Sounds sweet.” I said and my eyes misted. Cyrus was one of those rare truly good men that I’d heard actually existed out in the world.
He held the bottle higher and rocked while he said, “One day I’d like a wife and maybe more children.”
My skin buzzed like he’d thought about me.
Impossible. Though I glanced at the cutest baby I’d ever seen and said, “Just choose someone who loves Joshua.”
“That’s a high probability.”
His gaze twinkled when he said that.
My lips tingled but I jumped up and asked, “Are you sure you want me to go with you to a private island?”
He nodded. Then he reached down beside him. I hadn’t noticed he’d brought up the bag from downstairs, but he held it up for me and said, “Yes. This phone is for you.”
“For me?” I asked as I accepted the bag and sat back down.
“Yeah,” he said.
I opened it to find the latest model cell phone, the one that came out this month. My stomach twisted, and I put it back in the bag and said, “I can’t accept gifts.”
He reached out and patted my hand without taking the bag while he said, “It’s part of the job.” I raised my eyebrow, but he confirmed I was staff. I breathed easier, and then he said, “It’s so you can talk to anyone you like when we’re on the island and, even more important, you can have the app on your phone to watch Joshua.”
“Well, okay, then,” I said. My pulse quickened as closeness wasn’t good for me in the long run. For a second, I wondered if I should stay with him.
Then he said, “And I’m hoping you’ll be more open to gifts.”
My skin zipped. I wasn’t ready to get involved. I wasn’t anything like who he'd need for his happily-ever-after, but if he asked, I’d agree. I swallowed and asked, “Why?”
“I want to shower you with a few options.”
Attention wasn’t something I understood but the way he gazes at me… damn. I’d never be able to walk away. I looked down and said, “I’m in over my head with you.”
“Just take it one day at a time.”
Right. He said that like he had no idea it was him that I’d be addicted to so entirely, not things. I could live without a lot, but my intense awareness of him set me off in entirely new ways. I massaged the back of my neck and said, “That’s what I’m trying to do.”
“Good. Then get some sleep because we have a full day tomorrow.”
I got to my feet and took the phone. and since Cyrus had rocked the baby to sleep, I could hear him in my room if he needed me.
I was on my way out when I paused and said, “You’re a true gentleman, Cyrus. Good night.”
“Good night,” he said.
As I left, I wondered who I’d be if I had his family, his security, and his love. I winced at the word. I’d never have that, but I’d never had a goal of my own except to be honest. If I did, though, I’d never be sure who I’d become because, unlike him, I hadn't been given a family who stood by me the way his clearly did.
9
Cyrus
Th
e sun was bright outside my windows, which meant it was morning.
I checked the baby monitor and saw Joshua wasn’t in his bed. However, I heard Sarah cooing at him, and she made me smile.
My son had a good woman in his life already. I rose and cleaned myself up. Today I would whisk her away to my island, so we’d have a chance to connect—without interruptions.
So I grabbed my cotton pants and T-shirt since we were spending the day on the high seas once she cleared everything up on her end.
As I was about to head out, my phone rang. I answered, “Good morning, Warren, I wasn’t expecting a call.”
I brushed my short hair for a second time while Warren said, “Well I figured later on today you’d be too busy, so I'd better bug you now.”
I stopped and glanced out the window as I asked, “What’s going on?”
“I passed my general contracting license test.”
His plan was to leave the family to find out what he might have become if Maman hadn’t adopted him. My family would be heartbroken if he left us, so I asked, “So it’s official? You’re leaving Wall Street to fix people’s houses?”
“No. Not right now. I’m going to finish working on a merger deal to follow the numbers, but I was wondering what you've decided to do about the hospital and work?”
My gut twisted. We were both dealing with regrets, but mine were more about spending a big chunk of my life getting to be a doctor and not enjoying it. It wasn’t enough to quietly walk away, but I rubbed the back of my head and said, “I don’t know. I was so focused on getting Joshua, and now he’s mine.”
“So we’re both at a crossroads, but unlike me, you now have a woman.”
A quick laugh escaped me. I hadn't expected that. I rubbed the back of my neck and said, “Sarah’s not mine.”
“If you want her, do something fun. I liked that you were dancing because it brought out a new you.”
Last year this conversation led to my initiation into dancing, but it ended badly. Now Warren's insight hit deeper than my gut.
Maybe he was right, and I needed to show Sarah we could be lighter. Unlike the rest of my brothers, "going with the flow" never worked for me, and I felt safer when I planned everything out.
When eleven different men all point out the flaw, it’s time to accept it. I let out a sigh and said, “Fun was never my goal, but you’re right. Talk to you later, Warren, and congrats.”
“For what?”
My heart was pounding, just knowing I’d see Sarah in a moment, but I took the time to tell Warren, “For taking the steps to change your life.”
“It might be nothing in the end, which is why we’re not telling Maman and Pedar.”
“Of course,” I said.
I needed to have more faith in my brother and in Sarah. And maybe in myself, too.
I refuse to spend my life making lists and following the exact order all the time. I needed to change, too.
10
Sarah
The moment Cyrus entered the nursery, my whole body began to pulse with awareness.
He came and reached for his son. I’d been in here for hours now, and it was only eight in the morning, so I gladly handed Joshua over and stepped away so I could get my body under control.
I backed away so I could get my hormones back under control.
So he wouldn't notice I was flustered, I blurted out the first distraction I could think of. “I spoke to the funeral home.”
His eyes widened. “This early?”
Joshua was fed, changed, cleaned. And I’d told him all about my day.
However, Cyrus would remember. My heart pounded but I said, “I’ll need to be gone for an hour.”
He nodded. “We’ll go together after breakfast.”
And save me. I backed away. “No. I want to go and then come home to breakfast and both of you.”
He didn’t move, and his face was expressionless when he said, “Take the limo.”
“I don’t need a ride.” I shook while I tried to imagine myself in the back of a huge car that would attract tons of attention.
He came closer, and the air around me came alive with my feelings, though all he said was, “It will be faster with a driver.”
Right. He wouldn't understand. I adjusted my sleeve and said, “The streets can be small.”
“Very well, they’ll take the Bentley,” he said, like he’d solved my problems.
There was no subway, and his home was too far away from my destination for a quick bike ride. I nodded and waved as I ran out, “Okay, be back soon.”
And sure enough, the driver got me there and back far more quickly than I expected.
On the way back to Cyrus's home, I sat in the back. Holding the two small, temporary urns of my siblings had grounded me into silence.
Neither of them had ever given me much thought, but that was okay, because I certainly never wanted to be with them. In fact, I've spent years avoiding alcohol myself, even though I serve it regularly.
Seeing other people tipsy only reminded me of the night my mother tried to sell me.
That was when I decided to find my own place and avoid creating waves. Maybe if I stayed quiet, no one would notice me.
As soon as the Bentley dropped me off at the house, I carried the urns to the beach.
If I told Cyrus, he’d of course want to come too, but I was the one who needed to say goodbye.
So I held up my baby brother and vowed to him that I’d never let Joshua experience his pain, which led him to a life where he tried and failed and blamed himself and fell into drinking. I poured his ashes out, and the wind took him.
Next, I reached for my sister. She always got what she wanted but was never satisfied once she had it. Not even when she held her son had she smiled. She lived in her plans. I sighed and promised I’d watch Joshua forever.
He needed me more than anyone else, especially my sister who didn’t even see how wonderful her son was beyond the potential bank account.
Then I let her ashes go, and the wind took her to sea.
And then I slumped on the sand, alone. Except I wasn’t.
The calming laps of the water played in my ears and the saltwater spray touched my lips.
I was going be okay, no matter what, because inside the house Joshua was waiting for me, needing me.
My phone rang, and the moment I saw Darren Davis’s name, adrenaline stormed through my system. I hadn't spoken to him since I was barely eighteen, though I did hear all about how he and my sister financed her education.
I cringed. I’d never intended to use him.
My eyes swam with tears while I denied the call.
I glanced up at the huge house, much bigger than any Darren ever had.
And it belonged to a family who loved each other.
And as for Cyrus…
I would never be serious about him. He’d never have my heart, because we weren’t anything close to being on the same page, but his nearness reminded me there was more to life than being absolutely alone in the world.
At ten, I walked back to the mansion, done with my siblings.
I found Cyrus and Joshua together in the main grand room overlooking the ocean and a garden, and he left Joshua in the playpen and rushed over to me as he asked, “Are you okay?”
His nearness made my legs all weak, but I forced a smile.
I wasn't used to this kind of attention, but I managed to say, “I’m good.”
He rested his hand on my back, and awareness rushed through me. He asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”
I smiled at Joshua. I’d be an empty shell without them, as I’d always been, but here, now, I wasn’t. I shrugged and said, “No, I don’t. I want to eat and then push off.”
He winked and then directed my attention to the patio. Once again there was buffet suitable for a royal family on a nice morning. He reached for Joshua and said, “Then we’ll practice dancing on the ship.”
I laughed. “We will?”
He held the baby and pulled out a chair for me as he said, “Of course. We’ll have the crew to see to our needs.”
I shook my head, but I avoided the chair and him and how we felt like a family by walking over to pick up a plate. He followed behind me, and I swear he was looking at my backside.
My cheeks heated, but I refused to discuss it, instead asking, “What attracts you so strongly to dance when you keep saying it’s not serious?”
He balanced his food selection well but struggled to get a muffin. I put it on his plate for him as he said, “It’s a sport, and a reason to work out that’s not the family soccer games, though those are important too.”
I tilted my head. His brother Warren also clearly worked out, though Cyrus was still the fittest, sexiest man I’d ever seen, so I asked, “You and your brothers play soccer?”
He nodded at the fried eggs, and I scooped one up and put it on his plate, and then one on mine, as he said, “At least twice a month, when the family gets together. Now Joel and Arman are married and engaged, for the first time we’ve had some female players other than Clarissa, who played when we were kids.”
“Who’s Clarissa?” I asked as I picked up what looked like turkey bacon and put it on my plate.
He held out his plate for bacon, too, so I gave it him as he said, “The butler’s daughter. Half my brothers at some point dared each other to get her to go to a dance. I think being the only girl constantly on the premises somehow made her seem very hot.”
Interesting. We went back to the table, where there were mugs for tea and coffee, but the coffee one was bigger, and the tea mug was made of glass.
Joshua had fallen asleep in Cyrus's arms, and he held the baby close to his chest while he poured himself a cup. He already seemed to have mastered the challenge of handling hot food and drink with Joshua in his arms.
I asked, “Where is Clarissa now?”
He offered me coffee or tea, and I shook my head as he said, “She left for college and never came back.”
My skin was jumpy, but I liked it as I asked, “The tea looks delicious. Is that the same as last night?”
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