He was here, with me.
His tongue and lips suckled on one breast as his hands pinched and kneaded the other.
I was aching with desire and I urged him to go faster, harder.
But he continued to take his time, flicking the bud and nibbling on me like I was breakfast.
Then his hands brushed against my core and squeezed tight while my heart fluttered.
Pleasure grew as he nuzzled and stroked my skin, driving me deeper into passion.
He slowed and asked, “What do you want?”
The intensity of the question snuck past my defenses. “I want you, inside me.”
My vagina swelled while he skimmed my panties down my legs. He whispered, “We can stop if you want.”
He could? The raw need made me jumpy. I’d never felt anything like this. I needed him, and reached for his boxer briefs, practically growling when I said, “Don’t you dare.”
His hard-on grew even firmer, and excitement rushed through me.
Naked, I felt wanted. I wasn’t sure if he was real or if I made him perfect and amazing in my mind, but I needed him. My heart rate sped up, and his hard-on grazed against my netherlips.
A thrill rushed through me and spasms shot to my feet and hands while he stoked my need for him.
My eyes began to roll back, but I refused to surrender to my craze. He continued like he knew I was trying to wait for him, but when his tongue joined his finger, I lost it.
A wave of pleasure pulsed through me. His lips and tongue pushed past my defenses, and I trembled from the thrill.
As I came back to myself, the thought hit me that it was his closeness that made us okay together. I was safe with him. I trusted him more than any other man ever.
I rocked and my eyes widened. He almost had my heart.
He asked, “What’s going on?”
My heart was beating extra-fast, but I refused to ruin this moment. I cupped his face and said, “You’re too perfect.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him this was just sex. That it had to be, but I looked into his brown eyes that bored into my soul and stroked those muscles of his that made me weak.
So instead of saying something to push him away, I leaned forward and kissed him.
My flesh heated when he held me and claimed me. Passion burned in me as he caressed me like I was special.
I reached for his dick, but he teased me like I was important to him and I threw my head back.
Sweetness flooded my soul while he played with my button.
I was aching with need, way past my own boundaries.
I was near the edge of my release and still he hadn’t entered me.
Then he stopped. I was lost in a storm and my skin was all achy, but then I heard the rip of a condom wrapper and I sighed.
I sucked on my bottom lip and gazed at him. He was mine. He rolled the condom on, but still paused and asked, “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I said, wrapping my legs around him.
How he'd maintained so much control I’d never understand, but when he slid inside me, the storm became a tornado.
My toes curled as I swiveled my hips to merge with him.
And then he took over the rhythm and thrust deep inside me.
Oblivion was too tame a word for how I felt.
He and I were one.
My heart beat so fast, it was like the old me was no more and I was his.
22
Sarah
Waking up in his embrace made my body zing with excitement.
I hugged him and held him tight, and he made waking up cute noises.
I licked my lips.
Last time I had sex… my mind was addled. Honestly, there was no comparison. Cyrus knew how to make me swoon in spite of the fact that I wasn’t the type to ever… feel.
A giggle escaped me that he silenced with a kiss.
My mind went fuzzy, so I curled tighter against him and felt his cock grow against me.
My vagina readied itself for more, though I could still feel the aftereffects of his loving inside my body, his friction against my inner skin.
Our lips met and tongues tangled in a deeper kiss, but then Joshua screamed.
We both sat up, but I was on top. I shimmied into my pants and said, “I’ll go.”
Then I tugged on my shirt. He did the same and said, “No, I will. Clean up and meet me for lunch so we’re already full when we get to my vacation home.”
“Sure.” I said, quickly, though I didn’t want to leave him.
We were both ready in a second, though he raced up the stairs two at a time and I went to my room.
The quiet struck me. Sex had never been fun, but now I knew with crystal clarity that I’d been with the wrong men.
I turned on the shower and stripped.
Whoever ends up being his wife will be so lucky. But we were temporary, and I was fine this way.
I showered and put on the tree pendant he’d gotten fixed for me. Grandma told me long ago that the deeper the roots a person made ensured the body would grow strong.
Cyrus’s family was proof that she’d known what the rest of my family had clearly missed.
As I scrubbed myself clean, I wondered if I should return to his side today.
I was raw and aching still.
In spite of the ache, I found a simple green cotton dress with white and yellow trim and massaged some of the cream I found into my skin, hoping it would make me softer.
When he looked at me, he saw the hidden me, the me I’d believed was long gone, it was like I’d been invisible but was now visible. Once I finished, I rushed back to the main room while Joshua’s cries grew louder.
I quickly realized I’d left my phone in the room downstairs where I’d been with Cyrus. I hurried over to them and then held the baby who instantly lowered his volume as I asked, “Was he fussy the whole time?”
Cyrus tunneled his fingers through his hair and said, “I changed the diaper and gave him two bottles, but there seems to be something wrong.”
“Let me.” I said, and leaned Joshua against my shoulder while I patted his back. He stopped crying, and I bounced him on my knee while I said, “Ahh.” Then he burped, and I rubbed our noses together. He sucked his lips back and forth and I gave him the bottle Cyrus still had and explained, “He needed to burp.”
He blinked and then, with a sly smile, he said, “I thought he was missing you the way I was.”
Heat rose from my toes to my face and neck while I asked, “You missed me?”
He stood and kissed my cheek. My body steamed, but then he said, “Yes, I missed you. Can you watch Joshua so I can clean up? We’ll be on the island soon, and I want to show you both around.”
Right. I was here because this little boy was the highlight of my life. I nodded and, with a shooing motion, said “Go.”
Then I rocked Joshua and he settled down. His face radiated sweetness and innocence and perfection, like he was a little angel. I whispered and said, “Joshua, you’re lucky. You have a great family looking out for you. I wish I’d had half of what you'll have while you grow up.”
He finished his bottle and then his little eyes fluttered shut.
I kept him close to my heart for a few minutes. He made me wish I had a family so I could keep him.
But I knew it wasn’t in the cards. I tucked him back in his bed and watched him sleep.
Heaven let out a great little guy.
Behind me the light flipped on and Cyrus asked, “Everything okay?”
I walked toward him while my body hummed and turned it off. No need to wake Joshua or he’d be in tears for hours. My legs were weak with desire as I said, “Great. He’s sleeping, and I love being his auntie.”
He hugged my waist and said, “Come.”
Anywhere. However, he closed the door and his lips met mine.
Instantly I softened and held him tight as I asked, “What’s going on?”
“I don’t like going without your smell,”
he said, while he backed me up to the seating area near the window.
Luckily, he’d added the small day room for Joshua, but as our lips met, I took off my panties and said, “We’ll have to be quiet, so we don’t wake him.”
“Yes!” he said as he brushed against me while he helped me out of my dress.
I was his. I unzipped his pants and reached inside for his ready-for-me dick.
We probably wouldn't have much time. The baby probably wouldn't snooze for long because he was usually hungry again pretty soon after I burped him.
But Cyrus’s lips burned through me as we kissed. He took off his pants and boxer briefs, so I tugged off his shirt.
I needed to feel his muscles on me again, now.
Then he kissed me while his fingers stroked my core. My eyes started to roll back but, I reached for his cock.
I needed him inside me.
He quickly rolled on a condom and then entered me.
I sucked on my lips so I wouldn't be too many noises, but as he pumped into me, it was like we were one.
I lost myself into sweet oblivion while he pressed me against the glass window.
The only thought I had was that I never wanted our small vacation to end.
23
Cyrus
No woman had ever stirred me the way Sarah did.
My control near her clearly dissolved. I’d almost taken her without protection a few minutes ago, though I finally remembered at the last second.
When Joshua cried, she sent me to get the bottle, so we separated and I tugged my pants on, though my body still ached for more of her.
Sarah was so sexy. Heat rose to my face when I handed her the bottle
My son was happy in her arms, and when I noticed how she avoided my gaze, I wondered if she was truly ready for a physical relationship.
I’d been determined to let her realize it was okay to have a relationship with me by not mentioning her sister or whatever made her have trouble trusting me.
My gut twisted. There was something I didn’t know, like when patients don’t admit what caused them to have heart issues.
My phone rang, so she waved me out and I took It outside where the staff cleaned for lunch. I walked to the stand in bow of the ship and answered my brother. “Warren, did you tell Maman and Pedar?”
“No, but I heard from Ashley.”
I hadn’t heard him mention her name in a long, long time. I glanced back at the wake the yacht created while rubbing the back of my neck. “You broke up with her two years ago. Is there something going on there?”
Warren’s voice sounded tighter. “No. I’m glad we’re not… I found the apartment building my birth parents had me in and inquired into availability. Will you be back for my birthday party?”
“Your surprise party you mean?” I asked, though it seemed the party wasn’t the issue today.
He chuckled. “Since when can Maman keep a secret?”
Good. Now he was sounding like himself. Warren was always so moral when something bothered him. So I lowered my voice and asked the big question. “What did Ashley say that triggered you?”
“That I was never happy when I was around her, which was true. I wasn’t emotionally available, and I probably hurt her more than she admitted.”
And she called him to tell him this? I rocked on my feet, unsure what to believe as I said, “Yeah?”
“I never meant to hurt anyone. I should never have started a relationship when I wasn’t available. Even saying the word relationship guts me because I thought we were just friends with benefits. It’s all we ever said, but I guess she wanted more.”
Sarah had only offered physical.
Fuck.
My gut twisted. I’m not sure I could handle it if she left without a word now. I swallowed and only said, “That’s hard.”
“I apologized and sent her the new car she needed. Hearing the pain in her voice years after we ended things shocked me.”
Things never made up for what people cling to in their souls. So many patients had unrealistic expectations that led to disappointment that ate at their heart muscle. My skin prickled as I asked, “You told her you were friends with benefits only?”
“Many times. So have you told Sarah you want her for more than a passing, good time yet?”
“No.” She was the one mentioned it should be physical only. I gazed at the bright sun and blue waters, but today the sight didn’t relax me at all as I said, “We’re… complicated.”
“Well, if you are serious about her, then be clear. It’s not good to toy with anyone’s emotions.”
Except I wasn’t sure she was ready. My heart raced. I wanted this to be permanent, but she had something else on her mind. I decided not to push her. To Warren, I said, “True, but you need to give people space to make their own decisions, willingly.”
“Fair enough,” he said.
She didn’t trust me, and I wasn’t sure she’d ever love me. But I wasn’t ready to think about that yet.
One step at a time.
Joshua’s cries popped up on my phone, and I said, “Gotta go. Joshua is up.”
“Good luck, man, and see you soon,” Warren said as he ended the call.
I hung up and rushed in.
I wasn’t ever going to let my son suffer.
24
Sarah
I cradled Joshua in my arms while Cyrus reached onto the ship and lifted us both up slightly instead of me having to jump.
I’d have said no if it wasn’t for the baby. But I’d never do anything to endanger Joshua.
We walked off the small dock while my legs shook a little. The land didn’t rock like a ship, and it took me a few seconds to adjust to the lack of motion.
The air was warm here. Joshua certainly wouldn’t need a blanket.
Cyrus guided us through a palm tree-lined path, and I stayed close to him.
He seemed so calm and relaxed.
I forgot my troubles when I was with him.
He said, “Let’s have lunch on the patio so you can enjoy a full view of the ocean.”
My eyes widened at the yellow mansion on a cliff with huge windows facing the ocean. I gasped and said, “That house is gorgeous.”
When we walked in, we were greeted by light wood floors buffed to a shine, and the beach-theme blue, white, bone and ivory furniture all fit together with pops of yellow to really make the mansion’s interior pop.
He directed me toward the glass wraparound windows overlooking a patio, and the ocean as far as I could see, and said, “We also have an ocean-facing pool, sauna, a planetarium for stargazing, and small walkway to the tennis courts and gardens.”
Seriously, all he was missing was a bowling alley and a fifty-seat movie theater.
I rocked Joshua, half afraid to let him go, but then I asked, “Where do the people working for you live?”
He beckoned for me to follow into a state-of-the-art galley kitchen that was bigger than the diner, and everything was clean and polished to brilliance. He went to the refrigerator and took out a bottle for Joshua. His son sucked hard immediately, like he was starving, though he hadn’t been fussy.
Then Cyrus said, “Most, if not all, live in the Caribbean. I have a daily ship that brings people to the island, and essential staff is paid weekly, even if I’m not here.”
We returned to the main room and the bone-colored sofa, where I sat to feed the baby and said, “That’s nice that you don’t just hire temporary people to take care of things for you.”
He went to a closet, took out a travel bassinet, and set it up beside me while he said, “I get better service when the staff is secure about their lives.”
It probably didn’t occur to him to think of service of as a profession. I blinked and glanced around as I said, “It’s true that I usually serve my regular good tippers with a bigger smile.”
Joshua finished his bottle, and I patted his back till he burped, and then settled him in the sleeper for a short nap.
&n
bsp; Once we were sure he was sleeping, I took Cyrus’s offered hand and followed him out.
Even the pool had a view of the ocean once you left the shady section.
I’d only ever seen things like this in movies.
I crossed my arms while we walked over to take in the view from the balcony edge. As I gazed out into the bright afternoon sun, he asked, “Did you ever want to do something other than work at a restaurant?”
I turned toward him and shrugged, “Most places require more education than GED.”
He folded his hands and stayed next to me as he asked, “You didn’t graduate from high school?”
I tensed. The past popped up and smacked me across the face all the time. I swallowed and wished I was different as I said, “No… I had to learn how to pay my own bills.”
If I hadn’t taken control of my life, I probably wouldn’t still be alive. Living like my mother and sister would have killed me.
He put his hand on mine and said, “That had to be hard. I don’t know what it’s like to not have family. Some of my adopted brothers told us about their pasts before they joined us, but most of it seemed foreign to me. My parents always put time and effort into supporting me.”
I smiled at him, and I meant it from the bottom of my heart when I said, “They seem great. Did you ever do anything that upset them?”
He glanced up at the sky and then back at me with a gleam in his eye as he said, “When I was eighteen, I took a year off from college and decided to backpack around Europe.”
I remember teachers and TV always cautioning that the gap year was the worst thing for anyone. I nudged him and said, “I thought that was considered a bad thing in your circle, though it does sound adventurous.”
“Adventure. I normally avoided danger, but I remember staring into the eyes of a bull with a nose ring and realizing I was mortal.” His face reddened as he continued. “I ran with the bulls and decided to get close enough to let them run me over.”
My breath caught in my throat. “Why?”
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