Now was my chance to argue freely, so I said, “What if you and I leave Joshua with Maman and Pedar tomorrow night and go out to dinner by ourselves?”
She clutched her hands together. “That sounds like an official date.”
Maybe it was. I shrugged. This was a step forward, beyond simply enjoying each other physically, so I said, “It’s one night out when we don't have to drop whatever we're doing and run to the baby's room… and then, after he's back to sleep, trying to remember where we left off.”
She took my hand and walked me to her bedroom as she said, “I can’t think about that. Tomorrow is the future.”
I followed her in, but my stomach twisted. I wanted to have her at my side for everything from a burger to more.
I closed the door behind me and said, “It’s not really.”
She took her shirt off and shimmied out of her boat pants as she said, “You said you were fine… as we are.”
My muscles tensed as I stared at her in her white bra and panties, though I managed to say, “I’m not asking for the world, just a chance.”
She traced my arms and held my waist as she said, “Just kiss me, okay?”
Her lips met mine, and I hardened in an instant. I wanted her, as always.
She reached for my shirt and tugged it up, saying, “We finally have some time for ourselves right now."
True. I’d spent the morning making sure she was safe, and then the ride home was choppy, and my son never stopped crying.
The moment we kissed, my body heated.
I ached for her, but I wanted what she couldn’t give me… her heart.
She reached for my pants as we fell on her bed, but then I stopped her and shook my head. I was too wound up, so I said, “I love you. I can’t keep pretending like this. It’s not my nature.”
Tears glittered in her eyes, but it was like she understood. She cupped my face and kissed me again.
Then she removed the last shred of her clothes and brushed against my chest.
In her kiss it was like I found my home.
With her body on mine, I burned. I removed my pants and boxer briefs.
She opened her legs as I suckled on her nipples.
I was hard and ready for her in an instant, and she curled her fingers in my hair, clearly enjoying herself. But inside, my heart broke because she wasn’t ready to claim me as hers. She might never be.
I ignored it, grabbing a condom and, once it was on, entering her core. Once we found our rhythm, I stopped thinking about anything except her happiness. She cried out at her release, and I met her.
It happened so fast, but she spasmed, an aftereffect of her orgasm… but I wasn’t sure what I should do.
She closed her eyes and rested against me. Cuddling had once been a small victory in my mind, so I held her and tried to cling to hope in spite of the obstacles.
She sighed and then whispered in her sleep, “I love you too.”
The dam in my heart burst open as hope bloomed again.
34
Sarah
Tomorrow morning we’d see his family again, and I’d have to match his brothers’ names with their faces in more detail.
Hopefully no one would ask for too many details about what we’d been up to because I wasn’t sure what to say.
However, I didn't want to think about that too much now. Cyrus was still sound asleep in my bed, but I couldn’t sleep.
I needed to do something for him, because I wasn’t sure how to apologize for using sex to avoid discussing his feelings and our future.
My heart twisted, because, I needed to face the facts, that I was behaving exactly like my sister and mother after all.
Their blood was in my veins too.
The night air… or maybe my shallow breaths… only made me feel worse. Part of me wanted to just run away, fast. However, I rode out the storm inside until the sensation burned away. I’d never be like them on purpose.
Once I was sure I was fine, my mind focused on my task. His clothes, his food, and everything in his house already had staff assigned to do things for him.
So I paced and thought hard, and then decided I could at least comb through my sister’s things and find pictures of Joshua right after he was born and get an album to make this for him. He’d like that.
So I found my old phone and scrolled through.
It turned out I had a lot of pictures. I found sixty, and sent them all to my printing app.
The pictures wouldn’t necessarily make up for the fact that I'd been behaving exactly like my sister, who treated Cyrus like a toy. A disposable toy.
It was a start, though. I hated myself for breaking his heart.
35
Cyrus
Joshua was crying. I jumped up and rubbed the back of my neck. Sarah wasn’t here, and her side of the bed was cold, which meant she’d been up for a while.
I tugged on my boxers and scrambled into his room, but she was already there, holding him while he drained his bottle.
In the moonlight she was hypnotic and beautiful. And I needed to stop pushing her.
My heart twisted. Earlier, I shouldn’t have told her again that I love her. I stiffened my spine as I met her gaze and asked, “Why were you up?”
She rocked Joshua, adjusting his bottle and blanket, and whispered, sounding like it didn't really matter, said, “I was trying to figure out what I could do to thank you, and feeling like I've failed at that too.”
I walked closer and squatted down to cup my son’s head and gaze up at her while I said, “You swooped in and helped Joshua faster than I did.”
“He’s all I've got,” she said, and gave him a small squeeze of a hug.
I put my hand on my heart. “That’s not entirely true.”
Her face turned pink, and she lowered her lashes.
I cringed inwardly. It really was time to back off.
Then she said, “I never said thank you for cutting Darren out of your life… for me. I should have.”
My heart thudded as I whispered, “I’m trying to give you space, but I don’t want you ever to be afraid.”
I stood, because I wasn’t sure how to let go, but then Joshua still seemed hungry. We’d both be up, so I said, “Thank you. Are you in the mood for some ice cream while you feed Joshua?”
“Sounds fun,” she said, with a hint of a smile.
Perfect. I’d have to learn to wait. I called downstairs, and the staff confirmed my order right away. Then I returned to her side and said, “Sundaes will be delivered shortly.”
From now on I needed to be more fun, though I'd never perfected the art of being relaxed. It was time for me to give it my best shot.
36
Cyrus
Sarah took a shower while I went downstairs to make sure breakfast on the patio was set. She wanted hot water with lemon today, so we’d have to boil her a pot. Joshua was in my arms, gurgling and waving his little hands as I jogged downstairs in the morning sunlight.
Just as I made it to the bottom, the front door opened and Maman and Pedar walked in.
Maman threw her arms open and ignored me while she cooed at Joshua and took him from me as she asked, “Is this my grandson?”
I hugged my father and then said to both of them, “You’re back early.”
We walked to the grand room, where I quickly stopped staff who were setting more places on the patio per my presence as we all knew they’d want to eat despite what she’d said as my mother replied, “We wanted to hold Joshua. How was the island?”
I returned to my parents’ side, but I glanced up at the stairs when I heard footsteps, though I replied to Maman, “Relaxing. If it wasn’t for Warren’s birthday and a storm, we’d have stayed longer.”
Sarah appeared at the top of the stairs, walking toward us, though she took small steps. My mother beckoned for Sarah to join us, but her nearness made my heart skip as my mother said, “I’m sure the house will be fine from any storm, but I’m glad you’re here.”
> As Sarah approached, Maman went to stand beside her while she continued talking to me. “You and Warren were always so close, and he’d want you here.” Then she looked right at Sarah, ignoring my father and I as she said, “Sarah, thank you for keeping this precious baby so happy.”
Sarah rocked on her feet and tilted her as she said, “That’s the easy part, Mrs. Norouzi.”
My mother had a bright smile on her face as she said, “Roxanne. Now you two go and enjoy your breakfast, alone.”
Sarah hugged her waist, but we both went out on the patio, though the second we were alone, she said, “Guess we’ve been dismissed.”
I shrugged and then held her seat for her. “She's used to getting what she wants.”
“Having people grant her every request and fulfil them is an ideal, and she's a lucky woman,” she said, and then smiled when she noticed she had a pot of hot water with lemon, as requested. She poured as I sat down.
We already had basic plates since Sarah had been upset about the extravagant buffet of options earlier. Once my brothers and their families arrived, the "extravagant" buffet would be back, but this morning we kept it simple.
I added cheese to my flatbread and decided I wanted to ask Sarah out again. I looked at her and said, “Instead of hanging around while my siblings arrive, would you like to go out, maybe head to the beach and get something to eat?”
She narrowed her eyes, but I spotted a slight curve of her lips that could have been a smile. “Are you asking me out on a date?”
“No pressure.” I said quickly. Last night it seemed to me that she was asking for a do-over, but I might have read everything wrong.
“Well, then ask.” she said, while she scooted closer to me.
I took her hand in mine and asked, “Will you go out with me on a date?”
She beamed at me and bounced in her seat as she said, “Yes! I wanted to say yes yesterday, so I’m glad you re-asked.”
“Perfect,” I said, and we ate our small breakfast in comfortable, silent harmony.
Once we were done, we returned to find my mother burping my son. She glanced at us and asked, “Did I hear you two want to go out by yourselves for a few hours?”
The staff clearly listened to everything. Sarah was red-faced, but I said, “Yes, Maman.”
She stood and told me, “Look, go put on something nice. I’ll have the staff lay out stuff in your room and send my stylist in for you, Sarah.”
Sarah’s eyes widened. “Stylist?”
She then smiled and spoke to Sarah like they were best friends, saying, “Yes. Cyrus will take you wherever you want.”
Sarah tensed and clutched her grandmother’s necklace, saying, “The burgers sounded nice.”
And if that was what she wanted, we’d stay low-key. My mother walked us to the stairs and said, “You two have all day to yourselves. Enjoy it.”
Again, we filed upstairs like we had our orders. Once we made it to the top step, I asked, “Is there anywhere you want to see? We can take the jet and be back in the evening.”
“The jet?” she asked and sucked in her bottom lip.
My brother’s birthday was tomorrow, so I said, “Yeah, though since we have to be back, I’d stick to the East Coast.”
She took a deep breath and gave me a short nod, like she just made a momentous decision. “Miami.”
I stared at her, my expression probably stunned, and asked, “Yeah? You don’t seem the party type to me.”
She patted my abs and nodded. “True, but my grandmother always wanted to retire there, so I’m curious about it. And besides, in the movies, there's always a big dance-off going on there somewhere, and we’ve been practicing.”
My face heated. I hadn't expected her answer would be about me. I hugged her and said, “Sounds fun. I’ll have it all set up, then.”
I went to my room to shower and find something to wear that could double as dancing clothes.
Once I was done, I returned to Sarah’s room and heard my mother and her stylist in there with her. My mother hugged Sarah and said, “You're going to Miami? Then you'd better keep your hair up with all that humidity.”
Sarah glanced up at my mother and her eyes seemed glassy as she said, “Sounds like a good idea.”
The stylist worked on her hair while I watched from the door as my mother picked out clothes from the closet while she mused, “I hope you and my son have fun. He’s always so serious.”
Sarah's answer sounded like she'd already enjoyed herself today, “Well, he loves to dance, so I figure we can practice there.”
My mother showed her a few dresses. Sarah pointed, and my mother nodded as she said, “Well, take your time and have fun. Parvis and I will enjoy being grandparents.”
“You’re sweet, Roxanne,” Sarah said.
My heart swelled. My Sarah belonged here, with all of us. Hopefully she knew it too.
I stepped back to let them talk more.
And I changed my outfit to match hers, since she was wearing white.
Hopefully dancing and some romance would help her trust me enough to realize it was safe to love me back.
An hour later I checked on her again and she was ready.
My heart thundered as I stared at her.
She was different.
Calmer. Smiling. I offered my arm, and we walked down the stairs as I said, “I hope you don’t mind my mother too much.”
She brightened as she said, “Are you joking? I wish my mom was half as supportive.”
“Let’s get going,” I said and held the door for her.
Today, Miami. Tomorrow, maybe she would accept my heart.
37
Sarah
The drive to the airport was short, and security merely saluted Cyrus while we stepped onto the tarmac and walked to the plane, when I realized none of this was normal.
Staff waited for us like we were important, perhaps even presidential. As I climbed the first step, he rested his hand on my back like he intended to protect me from falling.
The hostess offered us flutes of champagne. I quickly thanked her and accepted, and then, when we entered the seating area, I was stunned. There was a dining table, a galley area, seats grouped together like a living room, and a desk area off to the side.
Then I spotted a second room where I saw the edge of a bed. I looked up to meet his eyes and said, “This is a flying penthouse suite.”
He suggested I sit on one of the couches. I took a small sip of champagne and then curled into the black leather seat. He joined me and said, “We have businesses throughout the world, so if we need to be somewhere in a hurry, we can be.”
I smiled and watched out the window while we taxied out of the spot and out on the runway.
I was really flying. I tensed as we went faster, and Cyrus took my hand. I squeezed my eyes shut as we lifted, and my heart pounded wildly.
The when the plane finally settled into smooth progress, I finally dared to look out. We were in the air!
I whooshed out the breath I'd been holding and glanced at Cyrus. He clinked glasses with me like everything was normal and said, “We’ll have some late lunch and then go find our dance instructor.”
“You hired someone?” I asked, and then realized that not only was the seat I was in sinfully comfortable, but somehow, I was completely fine. My shoulders release the tension while I sipped my champagne.
His smile brightened, and he said, “We have a practice, and then a competition I found.”
I reminded myself to keep breathing. I hadn’t expected a professional instructor. I squeezed his hand and nodded. Even if I fell on my face, he’d be happy showing off. So I asked, “So we’re really doing this?”
“It’s all in fun,” he said and gently clinked his champagne flute against mine.
I let out a sigh. For a second, I imagined myself with Cyrus after twenty years together, winning some seniors’ competition. Life would be amazing if he loved me long enough to grow old together like that. I giggl
ed at the idea and relaxed against his side as I asked, “Are all your brothers as romantic as you are?”
He laughed and shook his head, “I’m not romantic. Roman usually is the over-the-top one, and I’m the most stoic, to be honest.”
I narrowed my eyes at him and then brushed his elbow as I said, “Dancing is not the passion of a stoic. The word 'stoic' to me means the Spartans in movies who live to make war. You’re the opposite.”
The twinkle in his gaze sent a thrill to my heart. I wondered if it was okay to dream about a future together. He winked at me and said, “Glad you think so.”
We finished our champagne and a server handed us some fruit. My heart still thumped, but my mind began to buzz with questions. Happiness was never in my fate, so I crossed my legs and asked, “Did you date a dancer?”
He straightened. “No.”
I tilted my head and my eyes widened. Maybe I was one in a long line of romances stretching forward from his past. I then said, “You’re red-faced.”
He rubbed the back of his head and took a deep breath. My skin buzzed. There was bad news coming. Finally he said, “My instructor wanted to date, but then I found out Leah gave birth to my son.”
Adrenaline zapped through me while I silently thanked my sister. Then I winced at the thought because it made me a horrible person. I tensed and asked, “What happened to the instructor?”
He shrugged. “Nothing. I focused on my son, and she found herself another partner for the competition. And now I have you.”
Heat rushed to my face, and I had to look away. Goose bumps prickled from my neck to my arms as I said, “I’m not a blessing like that, though.”
He was watching me. I felt it in every cell of my body. I slowly opened my eyes.
As soon as our eyes met, he said, “Don’t sell yourself short, Sarah.”
Neither of us said anything more.
While he poured a second small glass for each of us, I sighed and said, “It’s hard to believe I’m here with you, and we’re drinking champagne. It’s like I landed in some sort of alternate reality, and I keep wondering how it’s possible you’re here with me. Dreaming was never… my reality. Until today.”
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