A Garden of One’s Own

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A Garden of One’s Own Page 13

by Tam King-fai


  in children’s playthings or anything else. But, as soon as he heard about

  the birds, he not only answered right away, but surprised me greatly by

  moving his feet around in search of his slippers. He left the counter and

  slowly came up to my table. As he got close to the birdcage, his frosty

  look began to melt and he became guileless and talkative, completely

  at odds with his appearance. He then looked up at the ceiling, his belly

  protruding from under his short vest, and pronounced his judgment.

  ¹
  R][K]MTQ\TMJQZL[R][OWWLMVW]OPNWZTQ\TMKPQTLZMVWXTIa_QPº

 
  that bowl of wontons.

  It was the same on my way back home. People on the street all bent

  down to see what was inside the cage. I walked into a used bookstore.

  ¹,WaW]PI^MIVa5QVOMLQQWV['º1I[SML

  ¹?PI¼[ QV aW]Z KIOM'º PM UQLLTMIOML [PWXW_VMZ I[SML
  or four customers immediately turned their attention to the birdcage in

  my hand. There was quite a commotion—I mean outside the cage.

  ¹5Ia 1 ISM I TWWS'º IV IXXZMVQKM I[SML IVL PM XZWKMMLML W

  snatch the birdcage from my hand.

  ¹
  5QVO MLQQWV['º *] 1 VW TWVOMZ PIL PMQZ MIZ [W 1 _MV W JZW_[M PM

  [PMT^M[JaUa[MTN1KW]TLVWÅVLI[QVOTMJWWS1_IVML[W1XQKSML]X

  the birdcage and walked out of the shop. Again, I immediately became

  the center of attention. Some people on the street smiled at the birds,

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  84

  A Garden of One’s Own

  and some smiled at me, all because I was the owner of the birds.

  Later, I called a Yunfei cab at the Second Yangjing Bridge to go

  home. I remembered clearly that the last time I had come back from

  the Temple of the City God with a cage of birds, the clerk at the station

  had deliberately come out to look at them. This time, he did not see

  me, and I did not want to draw his attention. But when I stepped into

  the cab, the driver caught sight of the cage in my hand. Sure enough,

  his face relaxed at once. Indeed, he practically turned into a small child,

  just as my driver had the last time. He was very friendly with me and

  chattered away, our conversation ranging far and wide. By the time we

  arrived at my home, not only had he taught me the secrets of raising

  birds and making them sing, he had also divulged to me all the secrets

  of the Yunfei Taxi Company: the number of cars they had, the bonus

  the drivers got, his whole childhood, and the possible reason for his

  getting married.

  Now, I understand: If one day, I was called to appear before an

  impassioned Chinese mob who hated me to the bone and would not rest

  until they had me at their disposal, I would know precisely what to do.

  All I would need to do to dissipate their anger was produce my birdcage

  and show them a beautiful swallow or a musical lark. See, that would

  JMUWZMMNNMKQ^MPIVMQPMZIÅZMPW[MWZMIZOI[IVLUWZMXW_MZN]T

  than a speech by Demosthenes! Moreover, in the end, we might even

  become sworn brothers.

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  qr

  Zhang Henshui

  BPIVO 0MV[P]Q !·! _I[ I XZWTQÅK IVL _MTTSVW_V IZQ[ WN

  a form of traditional Chinese fiction known as the linked-chapter

  novel (zhanghui xiaoshuo). A journalist by profession, Zhang picked up

  novel writing initially as a hobby, but it soon came to absorb all of his

  KZMIQ^MMVMZOa1VI[]KKM[[N]T_ZQQVOKIZMMZPI[XIVVMLÅNaaMIZ[PM

  produced more than one hundred such novels, making him one of the

  most popular writers of the twentieth century.

  ) ÅZ[ BPIVO LQL VW ZMKMQ^M IVa [MZQW][ KZQQKIT I\MVQWV JMKI][M PM

  _I[ZMOIZLMLI[I_ZQMZWN PM5IVLIZQV,]KS[IVL*]\MZÆQM[;KPWWT

  which was condemned by the more politically minded as a pastime of

  the leisure class. In time, however, Zhang’s novels received recognition

  for both their artistry and function as social documents of his time. His

  books were a wide canvas depicting a cross-section of Chinese society

  from the 1920s to the 1940s, characterized by realistic dialogues and his

  propensity to incorporate current events into their plots.

  Zhang also tried his hand at writing essays, which, like his novels,

  appeared in newspapers before they were published in monographs.

  ¹+PMKSMZ[º _I[ _ZQ\MV L]ZQVO _IZQUM QV +PWVOYQVO =VTQSM WPMZ

  pieces in this anthology, it was written in classical Chinese ( wenyan), which allowed Zhang to work classical references and allusions

  seamlessly into his prose. The subject of the essay is a mundane

  everyday object, but it serves as a vehicle for him to explore changes in

  human relationships in times of war.

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  86

  A Garden of One’s Own

  Checkers (1934)

  I have never been good at chess, and when forced to play, I can seldom

  UIVIOM W ÅVQ[P I OIUM
  married more than ten years ago, she was as happy as Xiao Qiao2 in

  PMMIZTaLIa[WN PMZUIZZQIOMIVLW]ZRWa_I[VWTQUQMLW¹XIQVQVO

  MaMJZW_[º3 Even so, she could not possibly pass her time doing nothing

  but enjoying our conjugal bliss. Hence, I suggested she read Tang poetry,

  take up freehand flower painting, and practice Zhao and Liu-style

  calligraphy.4 ;PMUQOPPI^M[PW_V[WUMQVMZM[QVPMÅZ[\_WTM[[WV[

  but from the third day on, she ignored my persistent summons. When I

  showed her the checkers set, however, she was ecstatic.

  On wintry nights in Beiping, the northerly wind howled outside and

  PM[VW_ÆISM[_MZMI[JQOI[PMXITUWN WVM¼[PIVL1V[QLMPMMTMKZQK

  TIUX JZQOPMVML ]X PM ZWWU IVL PM ÅZM QV PM [W^M UILM Q I[

  warm as spring. We lowered the curtain and sat across from each other,

  and the potted plum was in bloom. There we would sit with the stove

  JM_MMV][MIQVOWZIVOM[I[_MKPI\MLIVLNMMTQVO[W[IQ[ÅMLPI_M

  did not need any other entertainment. When we got tired of sitting, we

  would have a game of checkers across the table. We agreed that if I lost,

  I would take her to the theater the following day, and that if I won, she

  would go to the kitchen and prepare a few good dishes for me. Since I

  tended to lose seven or eight games out of ten, she was only too happy

  to agree to the wager. I never quite understood how she could beat me

  _PMV1_I[PMWVM_PWPILI]OPPMZPMOIUMQVPMÅZ[XTIKM?M

  have spent half our lives together, going through thick and thin, and this

  is still a standing joke between us.

  The Arts Supply Store of Chongqing recently had some checkers

  for sale. The boards were made of paper rather than wood, and the

  1

  r />
  KPMKSMZ[º 1V BPIVO¼[ M[[Ia PQ[ OIUM Q[ QLMVQÅML I[ PI^QVO JMMV QUXWZML

  from a foreign country.

  2

  Xiao Qiao, the younger of two sisters well known for their beauty during the

  Three Kingdoms period (220–280 AD).

  3

  ¹8IQVQVOMaMJZW_[ºZMNMZ[WPMUIVaQVQUIMRWa[[PIZMLJaTW^QVOKW]XTM[

  ;MM¹*QWOZIXPaWN BPIVO+PIVOºQV Hanshu ( The History of Han) .

  4

  Zhao Mengfu (1254–1322) and Liu Gongquan (778–865) are two famous

  calligraphers.

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  Zhang Henshui

  87

  XQMKM[ _MZM [UITT 1 JW]OP I [M IVL PM M^MV[ WN ÅNMMV aMIZ[ JMNWZM

  KIUMZ][PQVOJIKSWUM1WWSQPWUMIVL[PW_MLUa_QNM[IaQVO¹,W

  aW] [QTT ZMUMUJMZ PQ[ TQ\TM OIUM PI _M ][ML W XTIa'º ;PMTM W] I

  OMVTM[QOPIVL[IQL¹
  QVIOMº5 I felt dejected at her words and fell silent.

  It rained in the mountains that night, and a chilly wind invaded our

  room. The tea in the pot was cold, and the lamp on my desk had grown

  dim. I put on my glasses and sat down to work on my novel in the

  faint light. The sound of my pen moving quickly across the page was

  like silkworms munching on mulberry leaves. My wife sat next to me,

  sharing the same lamp as she mended our child’s old woolen sweater.

  We worked in silence. It was completely dark outside, and the bamboo

  swayed in the wind. There was not a sound apart from dogs barking in

  the distance. I stopped writing, raised my head, and let out a deep sigh.

  She immediately got up and took away my pen and paper, and asked

  UM¹1N aW]¼ZMVW[TMMXa[PITT_MPI^MIOIUMWN KPMKSMZ['º1TI]OPML

  IVL [IQL ¹1 KW]TL VM^MZ ÅVL I JM\MZ KWUXIVQWV PIV aW] 7VTa aW]

  KIV ZMIL Ua UQVLº
  We played three games in all, but the tables had turned, and I won all

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  aW]Z UQVL VW WV PM OIUM'º ;PM [WWL ]X IJZ]XTa W ZQU PM TIUX

  IVL [IQL ¹1 NWZOW W J]a WQT WLIa ?M UQOP VW PI^M MVW]OP W TM

  the lamp go on like this. Let’s put the light out and go to bed so there

  will be some oil for the lamp when the little boy goes to the bathroom in

  PM UQLLTM WN PM VQOPº 1 QVIL^MZMVTa W]KPML PMZ PIVL IVL NW]VL

  Q KWTL I[ QKM 1 [IQL [QOPQVO ¹1N ZMM[ KIV KPIVOM [W U]KP PW_ U]KP

  UWZM[W_MUWZIT[º6

  That night, I dreamed of Beiping, three times altogether, and woke

  up three times.

  5

  A reference to an incident recorded in the Guliang Commentary ¹
  AMIZ WN PM ,]SM WN @Qº
  through Yu to attack the Guo state by offering a piece of jade and a horse. Five years later, Jin waged war against Yu and won. When Xun Xi brought back to

  the Duke of Xiang the horse and the jade that had once been presented to Yu

  for the right of passage, the former uttered the line quoted in this essay. Here, Zhang Henshui’s wife was commenting on the passage of her youth.

  6

  During his northern expedition in 369 AD, Huan Wen passed by Jincheng and

  saw that the willows he had planted some twenty years before had grown to ten

  double spans. Upon seeing them, he uttered the line quoted in this essay.

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  qr

  Mao Dun

  Mao Dun (1896–1981) is a writer, a critic, and a journalist. His

  education was spotty. Before he had the chance to complete his

  university education, he entered full-time employment with the

  Commercial Press. As an editor there, he had a hand in shaping the

  direction of such publications as Xuesheng zazhi and Xiaoshuo yuebao. Mao Dun produced a number of novels that together paint a wide canvass

  of China under transformation. The most famous of these is probably

  Midnight. He was the Minister of Culture between 1949 and 1965.

  The minute details of the quiet but stultifying atmosphere depicted in

  ¹*MNWZMPM;WZUºKIVWVPMWVMPIVLJM[MMVI[PMZILMUIZSWN I

  VI]ZITQ[_ZQMZI[5IW,]VMVL[W[MMPQU[MTNAMQQ[VWLQNÅK]T

  to subject the essay to a symbolic reading that reveals a political message

  underlying the description of the weather on the surface. The storm

  is approaching, during which strong wind, heavy rain, thunder and

  lightning will clear the fetid air that envelops China like a shroud. The

  call for political action and the impatience for the arrival of a better

  time are unmistakable.

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  90

  A Garden of One’s Own

  Before the Storm (1934)

  Early in the morning, as soon as I got up, I walked to that little stone

  bridge. I felt the stones and was surprised that there still seemed to

  be a trace of heat in them. There had not been as much as a wisp of

  a breeze the whole day before. There had been peals of dry thunder

  W_IZLM^MVQVOJ]VW_QVLIVLPMVQOP_I[M^MVUWZM[QÆQVOPIV

  the day. Toward dawn, there were still two or three people lying on the

  bridge. Perhaps their bodies had warmed the stones again.

  The whole sky was covered by a gray curtain. The sun was out of

  sight, but its power seemed to have penetrated that gray curtain and was

  closing above one’s head.

  There was not a single drop of water in the river, and the cracks

  QV PM ZQ^MZJML TWWSML TQSM TQVM[ WV I ]ZTM¼[ JIKS )[ NWZ PM ÅMTL[

  countless ditches had opened up—they were two feet wide, so one

  surely could call them ditches. The soil was white and almost as hard

  as cement, as if the whole night was not long enough for it to release

  all the heat it had absorbed during the day. Now, there seemed to be

  something like white smoke wafting from those long, narrow openings.

  People standing on the bridge felt as if all of the pores on their

  bodies were blocked. Their stomachs bubbled, as if they were about to

  heave something up.

  Throughout the morning, the gray curtain remained stretched

  across the sky. It lacked even the smallest hole, and remained completely

  motionless. There might have been some wind outside the curtain, but

  we were all wrapped up inside. Had you thrown a chicken feather from

  PMJZQLOMaW]_W]TLVWPI^M[MMVQÆ]\MZIVLLZQNQ[_IaLW_V1

  was like living in a big barrel with the air sucked out. One could open

  one’s arms wide and take a deep breath, but what went inside one’s

  T]VO[_I[I_PQNN WN [KWZKPQVO[QÆQVOIQZ

  Sweat kept pushing its way out, just kept pushing, but it was like

  glue, making you uncomfortable all over, and it dried up to form a shell

  over you.

  At about three o’clock in the afternoon, we felt as if we had turned

  QVW Å[P W]Z UW]P[ _QLM WXMV IJW] W LQM NWZ TIKS WN _IMZ )TT WN

  a sudden,
a slit appeared in the gray curtain in the sky—yes, a slit, no

  more and no less!—as if a sharp knife had just cut across the curtain!

  But then, after the knife ran its course, the curtain closed up again, and

  it was no different from before the knife had made its cut. No wind

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  Mao Dun

  91

  KIUM QV )NMZ I _PQTM PMZM _I[ I ÆI[P QV PM [Sa IVL IOIQV PM OZIa

  curtain was slit open. But what was the use?

  There seemed to be a giant outside holding a gleaming sword in his

  PIVL ZaQVO W ÆQKS WXMV PI OZIa K]ZIQV 0M U][ PI^M JMMV ÅTTML

  with anger, his howling growing more and more urgent. Over and over

  IOIQV PM [_WZL ÆI[PML IKZW[[ PM [Sa Grrr... grrr!.... His growling had come inside the curtain from outside.

  Abruptly, the flashing and growling stopped. It was again an

  impenetrable gray curtain!

 
  thick! The sky was twice as dark!

  Perhaps you might have supposed that the giant was now wiping his

  sweat and catching his breath outside the curtain. You might have been

  sure that he would attack again. So, you waited anxiously, waiting for

  PM ÆI[PQVO WN PM [_WZL W XQMZKM PZW]OP PM K]ZIQV IVL PM grrr...

  grrr... of his growling.

  *] aW] _IQML IVL _IQML IVL QV[MIL PM ÆQM[ KIUM
  W] J]bbQVO NZWU PM ÅTPa KWZVMZ[ IVL ÆM_ IZW]VL aW] [QVOQVO aW]Z

  skin that now seemed covered by a coat of glue. They had just come

  NZWU I NMI[ I PM W]PW][M _MIZQVO ZML WX[ TQSM QUXWZIV WNÅKQIT[

  and of all places, they chose to squat on your nose.

  The mosquitoes came too, humming like old monks chanting

  PMQZ []ZI[ WZ WTL [KPWTIZ[ ZMKQQVO IVKQMV XZW[M
  contagious diseases, but the mosquitoes just went about sucking your

  blood.

  You jumped up, and swung your cattail leaf fan around, but as

  soon as you chased away a swarm of them, another swarm seized the

  opportunity to attack from another side. You screamed at them, but they

  simply responded by humming and buzzing.

 
  You’re done for!.... Szzzz…. You’re done for!.... º

  You had no more sweat inside you, and your mouth was dry enough

 

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