"Sorina," I call out, looking up to meet her eyes. "Close your eyes, kiddo," I say, sternly.
Her eyelids droop shut, and I pull the knife across his throat. Hot blood hits my hand, and something evil takes hold inside me. Ecstasy. Gurgles sound from his lips. I press harder, sliding the knife back and forth.
The torn skin sticks to my hand as I continue to move, losing all sense of myself. His body sags, but my grip tightens, pulling back, exposing the gaping wound. Pressing my knee into his back, the blade stutters, grinding against the top of his spinal cord.
"Lily," Dresden whispers behind me.
I let go of Khoui's lifeless body, his head barely connected to his shoulders, and he hits the floor with a wet slap of skin and blood. I stand, the fuzziness leaving my mind. I shake my head, squeezing my eyes shut. Commotion is all around me and I fight to find myself again.
Strong arms grip my shoulders and my body shakes. It's like I'm seventeen all over again.
"Lily, look at me!"
My eyes snap open at Blake's voice. He gazes down into my eyes and tears spill over, running down my cheeks. Something white flashes next to me and I flinch.
"It's a towel, baby— calm down," he whispers.
Wetness touches my face and I convulse, thrashing out of his arms. "Don't!" I scream, sinking to my knees.
"What the fuck happened to her?" Hyde says, confused.
"Khoui waterboarded her," Dresden says, moving to kneel next to me. "Lily, listen to me. We need to clean the blood off you. Just breathe. Okay? You're fine. Everyone is fine."
I nod as Blake kneels next to me. I gaze into his eyes, the pain there matching my own. Slowly, he uses the towel to wipe the blood from my face. He throws the towel on the floor and leans back on his heels.
"Are you okay?" I ask quietly.
"Yes, baby. I'm fine. Worried about you."
Launching into his arms, my body melds into his. His arms tighten around me and I push back, kissing his lips, cheeks, eyes, and nose. Gathering him against my chest. He reaches up and grabs my head in his hands, bringing his lips to mine. Tilting his head, the kiss deepens and his tongue invades my mouth.
"Mom! Mom!"
Sorina barrels toward us, falling to her knees, she collapses into our arms sobbing. We squeeze her tight and gently, Blake rocks both of us.
Interpol agents move around us— bagging bodies and cleaning up blood. Banging from the back rooms silences those of us in the living room. In a blur, Hayato lands in the hallway, sprawled on the floor. Sammi steps out of his office, pointing her gun at his head. I jump off the ground, running toward them.
"Sammi, what the fuck are you doing?"
Tears stream down her face. "He's the one who hacked and rerouted my system. I found him trying to sneak out the fire escape. Get up! Show them!"
Shakily, Hayato stands, glaring at me. He reaches up and rips his shirt open. I tear my eyes away from his and glance down at his chest. Over his right pectoral muscle, blue flames surround a tattoo— a black Taurus sign. I stop breathing.
"No," I whisper.
"You’re so blind, Lily," he says. " Your real enemies are closer than you think."
"Kneel," Sammi growls through gritted teeth.
Hayato lowers himself to his knees.
"Sammi, don't," I say, softly.
"He was family. We trusted him."
I move toward her, jumping back as she squeezes the trigger. The blast bounces off the walls, and an eerie silence fills the room. Blood pours in a line from Hayato's head.
How did I not know? I never . . .
Sammi turns and shuffles back to her office, slamming the door. I wince. Sammi and Hayato were close for the better part of ten years. I can't imagine how she feels right now.
"Everyone go get cleaned up. They won't attack here again," I say in a defeated tone.
"Lily, Dresden, we need to speak. Privately," Hyde says walking toward my office.
"I'll join you in a few. Get Sorina taken care of," I say to Blake, turning to follow Dresden.
Hyde slams the office door and I slump into my computer chair getting blood all over the chair, the desk, and the floor.
"You remember that option we talked about a while ago," he snaps.
Dresden and I nod, already aware this is our only option now.
"Inform them tomorrow morning," he says, stomping from my office.
Dresden rubs his hands over his face. "We fucked up, royally."
"Yeah, no shit."
"I don't know if I can do this anymore," he whispers looking up to meet my eyes.
I study his face. "Me either."
"Goodnight, Lily. Tomorrow is going to be a bad day." He stands and walks from my office, his shoulders rolled forward.
I stare at the framed sketch on my desk.
Tomorrow will be the worst day we've had combined.
42
~Lily~
Dresden and I stand in front of the coffee table, his body tense, mine shaking for the first time in months. Our team, Shannon, Sorina, and Blake come into the room with Monroe, their faces etched with worry. His parents left this morning with a group of agents for their transition into Witness Protection.
Blake's eyes burn into mine as he holds Sorina to his side, and I stare down with pain lancing through my chest. In the next twenty-four hours, I'm going to rip them apart, but there's no other way. I almost got them killed . . .
"Everyone, please sit down. Dresden and Lily have something to tell you," Hyde says.
Dresden takes a shuttered breath. I turn to him, clasping his head in my hands, forcing him to look at me. Tears shine in his eyes, matching the ones ready to spill from mine too.
"It's the only way, Dres," I whisper, my voice shaking to match my hands.
He places his hands over mine, pressing our foreheads together. This is killing us both, slowly, but we can't go back now. It's our only chance and if we don't do this now, we'll change our minds and everything will be lost.
"I feel like I'm splitting apart, Lily," he whispers, trembles running through his hands.
I lift my head, gazing into his face. "Me too, but it's now or never."
"Guys . . . " Sammi's voice is full of fear and confusion. "What's wrong? You're scaring us . . . "
"Fuck," Dresden snaps, tearing from my grasp and turning his back on the group, a sob escaping his lips. "I can't fucking do this."
"Baby, what's going on?" Shannon says scooting to the edge of her seat.
"Don't get up," Dresden barks, keeping his back to her. He knows her too well already. "If you touch me right now, I'll go back on my word and everything will fall apart."
"What are you talking about? What will fall apart?" She cries, tears forming in her eyes.
Blake has tears trickling down his face, his eyes locked on me. My heart sputters and lurches in my chest. I can't look at Sorina.
Oh, God . . . help me.
I close my eyes, breathing deeply. Opening them again, I take in the line of faces, all full of fear and pain. I'm going to crumble us all in one fluid motion.
"At 8:00 AM tomorrow morning, you all will board an Interpol jet heading for Australia. The Masons are being placed into Witness Protection, to be headed by Sammi and Vlad until a time when it is safe for them to return to the United States," I say, false bravery in every word.
"Wait . . . what about you and Dresden?" Vlad says, his voice uneven. He heaves a breath, realizing what I'm saying. "No . . . Lily . . . you . . . you have to come with us."
Before he finishes his sentence, I shake my head, willing the pain coursing through me to stop. "We aren't coming."
The anger erupts from Blake and Shannon, as I knew it would.
"What the hell do you mean you aren't coming?" he yells.
"You have to, Dresden," she screams.
Their voices mix, taking over the room. The pain intensifies and I'm close to breaking. Dresden shakes violently. I've never seen him this upset. My body trembles, my
knees growing weak the more they scream.
"Stop!" Dresden bellows whipping around, silencing the room. "We don't have a choice. It's the only way."
"We're going off the grid to hunt down the leaders of The Taurus," I say.
Blake's shoulders slump, his body shaking as his chest rises and falls rapidly.
He stands, sitting a sobbing Sorina on the sofa, and moves quickly in front of me, his eyes begging. "Please don't do this."
I step back. Distance is the only way for me stay strong. He reaches out and grabs my shirt, pulling me into his arms, crushing my body to his. He cries into my hair, pressing his lips to my head, repeatedly.
"Please don't, Lily. I can't be without you," he cries.
"I don't have a choice. It's the only way to keep you and Sorina alive."
He drops to his knees, pressing his head to my stomach. My dam breaks and tears stream from my eyes as I wrap my arms around his head.
"Forgive me, baby. I'm so sorry." The scent of his shampoo fills my nostrils, committing to my memory as my lips press against his head. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
Shannon is locked in Dresden's arms. I scan the couch, meeting the faces full of anguish. Sorina jumps up and runs, throwing her arms around Blake and me. I crush her to my side, kissing her hair and then Blake's repeatedly. I strangle a sob, their arms tightening, pressing into the wounds and bruises across my back.
"We have eleven hours," Dresden says. "Let's make them count."
"Okay," Shannon whispers.
Blake stands and takes my head in his hands. "I'm selfish enough that I don't want to share you."
I grin, sad and full of defeat. "I know, but I need time to say goodbye to them too, baby. They're my family."
"I know. God, Lily, Please stay with me," he begs.
"I'll always be with you, Blake. Even if you can't see me."
†††
Teresa cooked an amazing dinner. We spent quality time together for our final evening in the apartment. Part of me will be glad to get out of here. It's stained with horrific memories now. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I try to stay in the present, pushing back the darkness threatening to overtake me. Blake's in the shower. He's broken down several times and I'm close to falling into an abyss of suffering that will consume me.
I sigh, wiping unwanted tears away angrily. Every fiber of my being wants to curl up in this bed with him and never leave. Blake brings me to life. He's altered my view on the universe and my place in it.
The shower shuts off and I breathe deeply trying to calm the jitters shooting through my body. This is my last night with him for a long time . . . maybe ever. I don't want to think about tomorrow morning. It's better to lose myself in him and pretend this situation isn't killing me.
"You okay?" Blake's voice startles me. "You seem nervous."
"Come to bed with me," I whisper lying back.
His sadness penetrates to the depths of my soul, shattering me all over again. He crawls up the bed, lying beside me. My hand presses against the side of his face, my thumb gliding over the stubble on his cheek. Tears form in his eyes, causing my chest to ache.
"Please don't, Blake. I can't take it anymore."
"I can't help it, Lily. I've never felt this way before and I don't know how to deal with it." He runs his fingertips lazily over my bare thigh, sending heat straight to my sex.
"I know."
I open my eyes and splay my hand across the back of his neck. He shivers under my touch and his lips find mine. Our mouths move together and it's heaven. My stomach clenches with need. My body twists toward him, tilting my head to deepen the kiss. His hand cups my ass, kneading against my skin.
Blake's erection presses against my thigh and I grind my body into his, a low moan in his throat. I run my hands down his chest, pressing my nails into his skin. His back arches as he pulls his mouth from mine.
"Fuck, Lily," he says through gritted teeth.
"I love you, Blake," I breathe as his lips move down my neck.
"Oh, baby," he says moving his hand down to cup my sex. I flex my hips, pushing myself into his palm. My body shudders as he slips two fingers inside me, swirling them around, hitting my sweet spot.
"Please, Blake," I beg, wriggling with need under his deft touch.
He removes his fingers and twists, positioning himself between my legs. "Look at me," he hisses.
As my eyes meet his, he sinks into me, slow and tantalizing. My body arches as he buries himself inside me, stilling. Gently, he pulls out, almost completely and descends into me again.
"Ah, Blake, please, faster," I groan.
Again, he pulls out, lowering his lips to my breast, taking my hardened nipple into his mouth, licking and nipping, sending waves of pleasure through me. I tremble and shake, the pressure building in my groin.
"Blake, please," I scream, fisting my fingers in his hair.
He growls low in his throat, rearing up and slamming into me, forcing a round of pleasurable screams and moans to escape me. I lift my hips to meet him. Blake twists his hips, rolling so I'm on top of him. I place my hands on his chest and grind myself onto his erection.
His hands tighten on my hips and he moans as I take him, making him mine. I move faster and harder, willing Blake to his release, needing to feel him come undone beneath me.
"Lily, not yet," he begs.
I refuse. Blake grabs my hips and lifts me off his erection with ease. He turns, getting up onto his knees and I grin, getting on to my hands and knees as well.
"Oh, baby," he whispers seductively, positioning himself behind me.
He slams into me, the fullness of him inside me this way sending me instantly to the edge. I cry out his name as he pounds my body relentlessly.
"Come with me, baby," he hisses as we explode around each other in perfect unison.
Sinking down onto the bed, Blake envelopes me in his arms, kissing my lips, my nose, my eyes, and I drift, exhaustion pulling at me.
"Lily, I need to ask you something," he says pulling me back to reality. The tone in his voice sends my heart pounding and my eyes fly open.
"What's wrong?" I say sitting up to look at him.
He takes a deep breath and slides out of bed, shrugging into his sweat pants. I grab his t-shirt and pull it over my head. Blake moves inside the closet, and comes back to me, his hands behind his back.
He kneels in front of me, his breathing uneven. My heart pounds in my ears, a wave of dizziness hitting me like a brick wall.
"I love you," he says, his voice full of passion and desire.
"I love you, too."
From behind his back, he produces a small, black box. Opening it, a beautiful, simple diamond ring shines up at me.
"I don't care how long it takes to be with you. I want to spend the rest of my life loving and worshiping you. Will you marry me?"
My hand flies to my mouth, tears stinging my eyes.
Oh, God, this isn't happening.
Shaking, I reach out and touch the ring, its perfection reaching the deepest part of my heart. I should say no. This is only going to make tomorrow worse. I'm selfish . . . so selfish.
"Yes," I whisper.
Blake removes the ring and slides it onto my hand. It fits perfectly.
†††
Dresden and I sit in the back of Monroe's sedan— waiting for the SUVs to pull onto the airfield. We left two hours before the others this morning, at Hyde's request, to finalize the plans for the next leg of our mission. An assignment Dresden and I will handle alone. We'd both spent the better part of the morning in tears, and cussed this whole damned world up one side and down the other.
I try to steel myself against the pain and heartache I know is coming. A bright light pulls my attention to the landing strip. Four SUVs approach. They park across from us, and slowly, we exit the car. I stand, my arms locked behind my back, staring straight ahead.
The SUV doors open and as they climb out of the back, we both start to shake, hardly able to keep
ourselves together. My breathing catches in my throat, and I gasp, forcing the air into my lungs. Dresden sucks in a breath, and I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Vlad approaches, a frown on his lips.
I take a step forward and he breaks into a jog, grabbing me in a bear hug. I bury my face in his shoulder and will myself not to cry. He breathes into my hair, sighing, squeezing me tighter.
"Don't take forever."
"I won't," I say, standing up.
He nods, moving to Dresden. Rhett steps up and holds his hand out. I shake it, and pull him into a hug.
"Be careful, Lily."
"You know I will."
Jameson stops in front of me, tears in his eyes.
"Don't let Dresden drive. He'll wreck the car," he says, trying to smile.
I chuckle. "Yes, sir."
"Fuck you, I drive fine," Dresden snaps, grabbing Jameson in a hug, slapping him on the back.
"Lily," Sammi says, pulling me into a hug.
I squeeze her against me. "Take care of them for me, Boa."
"You know I will. Just hurry back to us," she says through tears.
My chest tightens.
I hug Shannon as she steps toward me and kiss her cheeks, knowing she needs as much time with Dresden as possible. Sorina steps up, her shoulders shaking. She stares at the ground, only a foot away from me, and my heart splits in two. Tears spill over, running down my cheeks. I reach out, placing a finger under her chin and force her to meet my eyes. Her face is blotchy.
"It's okay, kiddo," I whisper, pulling her into my arms.
She erupts into body splitting sobs, sagging against me. I hold onto her tight, kissing her hair, running my hand up and down her back.
"Mom . . . please, don't go. Come with us, please," she begs.
I grasp her shoulders and kneel on one knee, looking into her eyes. "I wish I could. You and Blake are my life. I never knew I could love the way I love the two of you."
She reaches out and holds my head in her hands, the way Blake does. "When will I see you again?"
My heart stops. "You'll always see me, Sorina. Every time you close your eyes, picture my face. I'm in your heart now, and you're in mine. As long as you keep me there, and remember how much I love you . . . I'll always be with you."
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