This Much Is True

by Anna Albo

  I tried not to grumble. She was on to me. Louisa knew me better than I knew myself.

  “It’s a big year, Louisa. I have a lot of studying to do. I can’t be distracted.”

  She looked at the beer and pizza. “Doesn’t look like you’re eating much brain food. I could whip something up. There isn’t much, but it would be better than that. And if you plan on staying a little longer, I can leave some meals in the fridge.”

  She was dropping the hints bigtime now. I kept my expression neutral. The last thing I needed was for her to run to my parents.

  “I’m fine.”

  She seemed to drop the subject. “Okay. Well, since you’re here, I suppose I don’t need to check up on things. Will you be staying a while?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  Her eyebrows furrowed. “Aren’t you almost done classes?”

  “Yup. And exams are coming. Need to stay focused and study.”

  She stared at me some more and just when I thought I was home free, she took off her coat and set it on Dad’s black leather recliner. She came over and sat next to me.

  “You’re not yourself. Can I help?” she asked.

  “I’m all right,” I said, resting my gaze on the television.

  “I used to change your diapers, kiss your boo-boos and cheer you on at hockey games. I know when something is wrong.”

  Boo-boos? The last time Louisa mentioned that, I was five years old. “It’s no big deal. Emma and I have hit a speedbump.” A big fucking speedbump. The mother of all speedbumps. The only thing I could do that would have been worse was to screw around on her. And I would never do that.

  Louisa nodded. “What did you do?”

  “Something stupid.”

  “Are you going to tell me?”

  “No. It’s something that happened before I met Emma and she’s not happy about it. I decided to leave the apartment to get some space between us.”

  “That’s probably not a bad idea.”

  “You won’t make a big deal about this to Mom and Dad, will you?”

  “No, I won’t tell them. But at least let me make you some decent food.”

  “It’s your holidays. You don’t have to.”

  “I’ll drop some food by tomorrow. What are you going to tell your parents when they get back?”

  “It won’t be a big deal. I’ll figure something out.”

  Louisa rubbed my back and I wanted to give her a big hug, the way I used to do when my life went to the shithouse.

  “She’s a nice girl and she seems reasonable. She’ll come around.”

  “I hope so.”

  She rose to leave. “Go easy on the beers, okay?”

  I rolled my eyes but she couldn’t see me.

  She kissed me on the forehead and left me to my devices.

  GENIE SUMMONED ME TO the apartment. I had to go by the apartment to grab a few things anyway. Before I went over there, I checked in with Genie first to make sure Emma wasn’t around. The good news was that Mom and Dad were on a Mediterranean cruise, leaving me alone at the house a while longer.

  When I walked through the door, Genie was waiting there for me, an almost horrified look on her face. Sure, I had the beginnings of a beard, the kind that made me look homeless. Dark circles were under my eyes and even my clothes looked haggard. I was close to hitting bottom.

  “You look like shit,” she said.

  “Wow. Thanks,” I deadpanned.

  “What’s going on with you?”

  “Nothing is going on.”

  “Yes, a lot is going on. You look like hell, which makes me think you’re doing things you shouldn’t be doing. Are you sleeping? Eating? Drinking? And when I say drinking, I don’t mean eight glasses of water a day.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Genie, what do you want? Why am I here?”

  “Because I know how your brain works. You’re going to do something stupid and lose Emma for good.”

  “Haven’t I already done that?”

  “No, but keep it up. I want to know what you’ve been up to. I’m worried that you’re alone in that house. You are alone, right?”

  My jaw tensed. “Yes, I’m alone. You think the first thing I’m going to do is fuck around?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know. If you start drinking and partying, then anything can happen.”

  “Give it a rest.”

  “I won’t because Louisa is worried too.”

  Louisa betrayed me! “I talked to Louisa and she understands what’s going on. You better not call Mom or Dad. If you do, I’ll never speak to you again.”

  “I won’t tell Mom or Dad . . . for now.”

  I rolled my eyes once again. “Is my lecture over now?”

  “Not yet. Have you talked to Emma?”

  “Nope.”

  “Have you tried?”

  “Nope.”

  “You’re not going to spend the holidays with her?”

  “Correct.”

  “Emma’s family invited us for Christmas.”

  “Then I suppose you can go,” I said sarcastically.

  Genie pursed her lips until they were nearly white. “I’m really worried about you.”

  “I’m fabulous.”

  “You aren’t,” she said quietly.

  I could feel myself turn cold. “Don’t worry about me. I’m not going to do anything stupid. Does that make you feel better?”

  “She’s going to come around.”

  “Am I done here?”

  “She goes home in a couple of days. At least reach out to her before she goes. You won’t see her again until mid-January.”

  “Thanks for the advice,” I said, turning to leave.

  “I’m keeping my eyes on you. Got that?”

  I gave her a thumbs up and walked out the door.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  Emma

  I finished my last exam and went to my tennis club. I had a short meeting with Marc and Ben before going to the apartment and packing up for Pine Falls. I’d be gone for three weeks, and maybe that’s what Zach and I needed. A part of me hated that we weren’t spending our first Christmas together, but this was for the best.

  I was hoping to sneak out before Genie got home, but no such luck. Just as I was putting my bag near the front door, she came home, her cheeks flushed from the most recent snowfall.

  “I guess you’re leaving for home,” she said, hanging up her wet jacket.

  “I have a bus to catch in about half an hour.”

  “I know you invited us all out to Pine Falls for Christmas, but Zach and I are going to stay here. It’s probably for the best.”

  Genie’s huge brown eyes were inspecting me, waiting for an answer. “Yeah, that’s best. I think it would be weird.”

  “I was kind of looking forward to a Pine Falls Christmas,” Genie said.

  “You’re not missing much.”

  “I’ll be missing your fabulous food.”

  I tried to smile. Genie was doing her best to keep things light. “You eat my food all the time.”

  “I’m sure you do a crazy Christmas dinner. Maybe next year.”

  “Right.”

  I was about to leave, but I could see Genie had something else to say.

  “You know, if you need to talk, not about Zach, about other things in your life, you can come to me.”

  “Sure, thanks.”

  Genie trudged back to the living room and turned on the news. She grabbed her phone and absently listened to all the terrible things that happened during the day. I don’t know what possessed me to, but I collapsed next to her on the sofa.

  “I met up with Meredith.”

  I startled her and it took her a second to compute what was happening.

  “Meredith?”

  “My mom.”

  “Oh. When?”

  “Last week. I was going to tell Zach, but . . .” I trailed off. “It was the day he left. I’ve wanted to tell him since then, but it seemed like a jerky thing to do. And I’ve b
een wanting to tell someone.”

  Genie shrugged. “Yeah, probably not the best time to hit him with that.”

  “I could.”

  “How did it go? With Meredith, I mean.”

  “It was okay. She’s not that bad. I invited her up to Pine Falls for the holidays. She probably won’t come for Christmas because she has another family, but she’ll come up for a day or two. It will nice to get to know her better, and I think my dad would like that too.”

  “Yes, that sounds great. Maybe you should tell Zach?”

  “I’ll try. I don’t want to sound insincere, you know.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  I stood up. “I should head off. Keep in touch, okay?”

  “I will,” Genie said with a nod.

  I left a Christmas card for Zach and a short text telling him I’d be gone until January. I didn’t want to close off communication, but the space would be good. At least I hoped it would be.

  I slept the whole bus ride to Pine Falls. I hadn’t been sleeping well since Zach had left. To be honest, I hadn’t slept much since I’d seen the video, the video I carried around with me at all times. Sure, it was stupid and reckless, especially if it got into the wrong hands, but I needed to keep it safe, where no one would ever find it.

  Dad picked me up at the bus station and I pasted on a happy smile. He had to know things weren’t good, but he didn’t call me out on it. Instead we talked about Meredith’s impending visit. She was spending two days in Pine Falls and staying at an old friend’s house. For so many reasons I didn’t want her staying with us. First of all, Meredith was married, and second, what if she and Dad rekindled old feelings? It was best to keep them apart when I couldn’t be around. And finally, there would be too much pressure on all of us if she was around twenty-four hours a day.

  “Why did Meredith’s family move to Texas?” I asked.

  “That’s where her father’s family lives.”

  “Other than my dead great-grandparents, did Meredith have any other family in Minnesota?”

  “I think she had some cousins, but the rest of her family lives in Wisconsin or somewhere like that. Why do you ask?”

  “Just curious.” I suppose I wanted to know why she hadn’t come back sooner, but without resources, or family, how could she?

  “How’s Zach?” Dad asked. He finally got up the courage.

  “Good, I guess.”

  “You guess?”

  “We’ve hit a bit of a rough patch.”

  Dad drove cautiously through the freshly fallen snow. He took his eyes off the road briefly to give me a hard look. “Do you want to tell me?”

  I frowned. “Not really.”

  “If you want to talk about it later, I’m happy to listen. He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

  “No, it doesn’t involve me. It’s something he did before and . . . nah, let’s enjoy the holidays.”

  We got home and I surveyed the fridge. Not much, as usual. We’d have to hit Miller’s later because Meredith was expected the next day. She was coming for an early dinner. I’d asked her to bring along photos of my little brothers. I had no idea what we’d talk about, but I was sure Dad was prepared to carry the conversation.

  We stocked up at Miller’s, then I did some early prep before going up to bed. I took out my phone to see a text from Zach. The first contact he’d made since he left.

  Zach: You make it home okay?

  Me: Yes. How are you doing?

  I washed my face, brushed my teeth then got into my pajamas and crawled into bed. My phone trilled as I was pulling out my book.

  Zach: I’m good. I miss you.

  I stared at the message for a long time. How would I reply? Did I even want to? His few words tugged at my heart, but I didn’t know what to do.

  Me: Have a Merry Christmas.

  Yup. I was a wimp.

  I COULDN’T DENY THAT I was nervous having Meredith over for dinner. I wanted to impress her so I made beef Wellington, roasted asparagus, fingerling potatoes and a pecan pie for dessert. I kept myself busy while Dad chilled the wine. How did he know she liked white? Maybe she liked red? I watched him pull out Grandma’s china and set the dining room table. Clearly, he thought this was a really big deal.

  A few minutes after five the doorbell rang. Dad sprang into action and jogged to the front door. I followed slowly behind. My heart picked up a few beats along the way. Dad opened the door and there was Meredith, wrapped in her red coat and a pink scarf covering half her face, and she was holding Christmas gift bags. Dad took Meredith’s coat and gently kissed her on the cheek.

  “It’s been ages,” he said. “You look wonderful.”

  “Thank you, Paul,” she said. “I brought some Christmas presents, I hope that’s all right,” she said to me.

  I did get her something too, just in case. It was some chocolates since I didn’t know what she liked. “Thank you,” I said, taking them and putting them under the tree Dad and I had decorated between pecan pie and pastry dough. “I have something for you too.”

  “Oh, you didn’t have to,” she said, suppressing a smile as I handed her the wrapped box.

  “I hope you like it.”

  “Should I open it now?”

  “No, you can open it anytime.”

  She put the gift with her purse and turned her attention back to us. Dad beamed and I felt awkward, like I was interrupting something. It was kind of weird.

  “Can I get you something to drink? A glass of wine?” Dad asked her.

  “I’d love some.”

  We followed Dad into the kitchen and watched him pour three glasses. He handed them out as Meredith scanned the room. “This place hasn’t changed much,” she said, sipping her wine.

  “I’m not much of a decorator. And you know how much I love old stuff.”

  “I was surprised you took over the shop. I thought you hated it.”

  “I was also a kid back then. Things change.”

  Meredith faced me and smiled. “Your boyfriend isn’t coming?” she asked.

  “He’s with his family and I thought it would be best if he didn’t come.”

  “That’s too bad. Next time, I guess.”

  “How’s your sister?” Dad asked Meredith.

  “Great. She says hello. She knows about us reconnecting and promised not to tell my parents. Not that I care anyway. Can you believe that twenty years later, I’m still worrying about my parents finding out?” She shook her head at that realization.

  “Why do they care now?” I asked.

  “Once a control freak, always a control freak. I think if they got to know you, they’d see what a sweet, smart and beautiful young woman you’ve become. But they are both so stubborn. It’s nice to be thousands of miles away from them.”

  “Let’s eat,” Dad said. “We are having quite the feast, all prepared by our talented daughter.”

  As we sat down, I wondered how long Dad had been waiting to say something like that.

  Meredith sighed as she took her first bite. “I can’t cook like this. What is your secret?” she asked.

  “I don’t know. I love to cook? Grandma always let me help and she’d give me tips along the way.”

  “Your dad mentioned that you considered culinary school. Why didn’t you do it?”

  “I don’t know.”

  She looked at me thoughtfully. “You are so young. You could go do it at any time.”

  I thought of the delis in New York and how much I wanted to open a place like that. “I want to finish my degree first.”

  “That’s a good plan.” She paused. “I was talking to Cam and we’d like to have you over. He is looking forward to meeting you and the boys want to meet their big sister.”

  “They know about me?”

  “They’ve known about you since they were old enough to understand.”

  That tidbit of information sent a flutter of emotions through me. I had two little brothers who wanted to meet me. I was a big sister. “I’d lik
e to meet them. After the holidays?”

  “Whenever you want. Paul, you can come along too.”

  “I don’t think I need to be there,” Dad said, taking another helping of potatoes. He seemed to ignore the asparagus.

  “We’d love to have you. It won’t be awkward if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  Dad shrugged. “I’ll leave that up to Emma.”

  Meredith took a second helping of everything. “I’m not sure my clothes are going to fit,” she said, taking her final bite.

  “There’s still dessert.”

  She moaned. “I’m so full, but I can’t say no to dessert.”

  “Let’s delay dessert for a while,” Dad suggested. “How about some photos?”

  Before we could say a word, Dad was hauling out the tripod and setting up the camera in the living room. He grabbed both our hands and placed us in front of the Christmas tree. He then checked his camera before sprinting next to Meredith.

  “Smile for the camera,” he said through a smile.

  We took pictures for nearly an hour in various places throughout the house. I figured he was catching up on twenty years of family photos. I snuck away to make coffee which gave Dad the hint that our photo shoot was over.

  “I’ll email you all the photos,” he told Meredith. “Or I can download them onto a flash drive if you prefer.”

  The words flash drive made me cringe.

  “Whichever is easier,” she replied.

  I cut the pie, heaped a generous serving of vanilla ice cream then poured the freshly brewed coffee.

  “You made this pie?” Meredith asked, wide-eyed.

  “From scratch,” Dad said proudly.

  “Emma, have you thought of owning your own bakery?” she asked.

  “It’s passed my mind once or twice.”

  “If you ever need financial advice, Cam can help you out. He’ll give you the family discount,” she said, and giggled at her own joke. “In fact, I wanted to wait to tell you this, but I set up a college fund for you years ago. Cam helped me with it. If you need the money for school, or for anything at all, it’s yours. Maybe I should have waited to tell you this. I don’t want you to think I’m buying my way into your life.”

  Her news caught me off guard. I couldn’t speak. Dad jumped in when he saw my stunned expression.