“Yep. Fools. Darned fools.”
“Just remember. A fool stays angry, except you want to kill someone. Killin’ is for war, boy. You go after that girl or back away and leave it be. Nothin’ in between will make ya feel better. One or the other. That’s about all I got to say. Got another Coke?”
Norman threw him his last bottle. He’d re-supply himself next train depot stop. Come morning they’d be near Phoenix. He might as well sleep on the advice from the migrant philosopher Skully.
Anger was eating him alive. He hated how it got between him and Lucian. He wondered if he could just let go. Just leave it be, as the old man suggested. One or the other, Skully said. Maybe he could give Lucian the chance to trade with him, be angry for a while. Maybe he could win her somehow, get even. Let Lucian taste some of his own medicine for a change.
That kiss was something else, he thought. She felt it. He was sure of it.
Like fire, he thought sullenly.
It was as electric as surges through a high voltage power line. No way she could deny that.
She had to see another side of him, that was all. Lucian was having his chance for now. Next leave, he’d find his way back to L.A. in uniform. This time he’d be direct. Lay out all his plans, everything that would make a girl happy. He’d ask for one more kiss. She’d have to make up her mind. Then he’d leave it be. But not until then.
CHAPTER 20
It had been three months since the two brothers had parted ways. Fort Bliss, Texas had been home to Norman long enough now. He was eager to get back to working the Santa Fe line in Albuquerque. It was close enough to visit Warm Springs, and work out the details for the small plot of land, the abandoned Dearborn place. Then he’d head on out to L.A. and give Mary Jane an offer Lucian couldn’t touch.
He’d always wanted to be a “cowboy” and when he joined the New Mexico outfit it was U.S. Cavalry, one of the last in the country. Playing cavalry with the New Mexico 111th was the most fun Norman had ever had in his life. Like cowboys and Indians, the weekend soldiers played their part in the Southwest army post. They were like boys chasing around the New Mexican and Texas desert on horseback, imagining the glory days of the U.S. Cavalry.
Nearly one-third of the troop was Native American and Mexican-American. A mix of work-day occupations, the guardsmen were ranch hands, college boys looking for adventure, business owners, high school students, and anyone looking for some extra money each month.
Now the 111th was being disengaged from their role as horseback riding infantry and being converted by order of the regular army to “coastal battery” anti-aircraft units. National Guard units across the country were being “federalized” to meet the growing menace of the German and Japanese military machines in Europe and Asia.
“Craziest thing I ever heard, Norm. There ain’t no ‘coast’ in New Mexico. The whole Mexican aircorp ain’t got three planes. What’s the Nazis gonna do? Maybe send their Luftwaffe over here to the Mexico side and bomb what? A bunch of sagebrush, jack rabbits, haciendas maybe?”
“Well, Private First Class Johnny Mead, it appears that it falls upon me as your corporal to inform you that ‘coastal’ means we’d be shipped to the ‘coast.’ I’ve been there. Hope to shout it’s L.A. Got a girl there,” Norman boasted.
“A girl, huh? How’s come you never told me?” Mead grinned. “Got a picture?” the cousin asked.
“Nope. Lost it,” he lied.
“So you getting married to her? Asked her or something?”
He changed the subject. “Got inspection and then after that I’m headin’ out West to ask her.”
“Man that’s swell Norman. Really swell!” Johnny congratulated with a solid slap on the back. “So you think they’d move the whole New Mexico Guard to California?”
“I don’t know. Maybe the Gulf Coast, maybe the East Coast. But being out West, with the Japs acting up in the Pacific, I’d guess the West Coast. Hey, maybe even Hawaii.” Norman brightened. “Wouldn’t that be something?”
The two soldiers polished their boots, and readied for inspection. “So what are you doing, Johnny? Goin’ home? Back to the job?” Norman spoke up as he brushed at his boots.
“I dunno, Norm. Pop wants me back at the ranch outside of town here. I got an itch to travel. With this Guard money I figure I’d last a month, maybe go see California like you did. Ride the rails for free, hang out at the beach, see San Francisco. I hear the girls there are really somethin’.”
“Yeah. Well, we got to be back here in a month. Maybe that would be about right, a trip for a month. I hear rumors of a long bivouac after we get back. Some training before being called up permanently.”
“Called up? They wouldn’t call us up unless there was a war or somethin’, right?”
“They can do anything they want. Since we got the highest scores in the whole darned army at anti-aircraft battery tests—and the Regulars, those career-lifer army pals of ours, aren’t too happy about it—maybe the army would send us out somewheres, just to make sure we are ready.”
“You think the Germans would attack us?”
“I’m thinkin’ from what I’m hearin’ that the army is up to its eyeballs in trying to figure out how to protect all the islands we got out in the Pacific. There’s Hawaii, Guam, someplace called Wake, and the Philippines. The Philippines are the most threatened now with the Japanese attacking all around it.”
“Where’s the Philippines?” Johnny posed innocently.
“A thousand islands or so with a bunch of army, navy, and aircorp bases out by Australia somewhere. Guess we have been protecting them people since we won the islands from Spain in the 1898 war.”
“Hey, Norm. Lookie there.” Mead grinned, pointing toward the barracks door. “If it ain’t dear old cousin—”
“Lucian! What the blazes you doin’ here? Thought you was going to go to USC. Last I heard.” Norman smiled, letting go of his boots. Angry memories had melted away. He ran to greet him.
“How ya doin’, brother?” he drawled, a wad of tobacco wedged in his cheek. “The army treating you boys good?” he asked as he set his duffel bag on the barracks floor.
“You aren’t … ?” Norman questioned, inspecting him up and down.
“Yep. Just got my new assignment. Headquarter’s Battery. Did my basic training at Fort Sill. Guess they don’t ride horses here no more,” he said, opening his arms for Norman. They embraced and laughed loudly.
“Lucian the cowboy? So that’s why we got changed from cavalry. They heard you was comin’! Haaa!” he bellowed, still not believing Lucian stood before him. “Well what does Pa think?” Norman asked, happy to see his brother. “You hear from him?”
“Sure did. Pa likes the idea of us bein’ together, considerin’ the way things are. When I told him I was joinin’ up, it made him proud, real happy. He’s gettin’ along fine. Guess he wore old Harry out. But he’s got a couple of young boys helpin’ him out some.
“Just came from there. Decided to take my earnings and put them in the bank. Gave Pa the right to withdraw ’em if he needed. Figured the National Guard pay would be workin’ out good for now, with the way things are,” Lucian finished.
Norman backed away and allowed Lucian to follow him to his bunk. Memory. Thoughts of Mary Jane. Wondering how to broach the subject swept over him, uninvited, unwanted. “Why didn’t you say something, write me about you joining up?” he asked.
“I wanted to surprise you.” He smiled. “Well look at them stripes,” Lucian added. “How ya doin’, Johnny? Where’s cousin Tom?” he asked, thrusting his hand forward for a hearty handshake.
“He broke his leg. Got a discharge. Just as well. He was a lousy soldier,” Johnny Mead laughed good-naturedly. “Sure is good to see you, Lucian.”
“You think I’ll be a good soldier?” Lucian asked, looking for a place to spit.
“You won’t make it to payday,” Norman laughed. “And you better not let your platoon sergeant see you chewin’ that stuff in th
e barracks or you’ll be up ’til dawn the next day scrubbing floors with a toothbrush and lye soap.”
“I’ll make it to payday, brother. I’ll make it just fine. Where … ?” He looked for someplace to get rid of the chew.
“Over there,” he pointed out, as he stowed the rest of his gear.
“The latrine?”
“Yeah. And show some class. Flush real good, will ya, Lucian?” He grinned. “We don’t want to pay for your foul up.”
Lucian followed the instruction. “Norm, I best be goin’ over to the training barracks. Guess we’ll be learnin’ how to shoot down airplanes.” He grinned with his arms extended. “Just thought I’d say howdy. Let you know …” He stopped and searched for the right words to complete his thoughts.
“Johnny, could you excuse us. We need a word. In private,” Norman asked.
“Sure thing Norm. Lucian.” He nodded. “See you real soon. Hope you like push-ups,” he laughed, slapping Lucian on the shoulder as he passed by and out of the barracks.
“Go ahead. Say what you’re gonna say, Lucian.”
“I’m real sorry, Norm, about how things turned out.”
“Well, I’ve cooled off some,” he returned.
“Well, I’m glad. Real glad. Part of this, me bein’ here and all is because of all this war talk, and part of it is to be near home. I guessed you were right about home,” Lucian said.
“Okay, Lucian. But what about Mary Jane?” Norman asked directly as he stowed his duffel bag at the foot of his bunk.
“She’s fine,” he replied truthfully. “Nothing much happening between us,” he added nervously. A lie.
“Nothing?” Norman quizzed, trying to hide his interest.
“Not married or nothin’,” Lucian responded, knowing he couldn’t tell Norman how he’d asked her to marry him before leaving California. Knowing that she would be traveling home to Warm Springs to take care of her ailing granddad, and knowing she’d probably say yes by the time he got there.
“So how is she?”
“Fine. Goin’ home next month. Finishin’ up her schooling and then gonna take care of old man Harrison for the summer.”
Norman’s heart pulsated to a new beat. Sadness fled as soon as he had seen Lucian. He knew that something had to be behind it. Maybe Mary Jane had seen through Lucian. Had realized the substance of who he, Norman, really was.
CHAPTER 21
One Month Later, Albuquerque, New Mexico
At a small railroad station in the recovering farmland of southern Oklahoma waited the girl, his pa, the grave of his mother, home. He had been energized just at the thought of her. But now those thoughts were once again mixed with anger, confusion.
He strained under the weight of each gunny sack of dried pintos, throwing one after another over his shoulders and neatly stacking them on a warehouse pallet. He was confused. A new twist threatened his plan of happiness.
He’d never gotten back to Los Angeles as he’d hoped. Mary Jane had left too soon for Warm Springs for that. He’d gone home after Guard training to look her up. She was courteous, smiled. He had given her something to think about with that trip. But then Lucian showed up.
He didn’t want to push too hard. She was confused enough. He could see that. He decided to give her time, a breather, be a gentleman. He had written to her twice, and she replied to both letters. Although not romantic, he believed there was something there until now. After all, she had signed them: Love, Mary Jane.
It hurts too much to be in love, he concluded, throwing one burlap sack after another on the pile, now higher than his own head.
How could Lucian do this to me? he quietly questioned over and over again. They had always counted on each other during the tough times of the thirties. That made this all the more difficult. His old anger that had settled down was all stirred up again. Skully the railroad bum had said, “Let it go.” How? He questioned over and over in a private mental battle for peace of mind.
Norman could see her standing on the railroad platform in Warm Springs just one month ago. He had always been polite, a bit held back on his true feelings. He never really believed she showed serious interest in his brother. Lucian just wasn’t that committed. He had asked his brother, “Are you in love with her, Lucian?” He had replied, “Sure, she’s a great girl.” That was no commitment. He was just foolin’ around with her feelings.
She had smiled at him, left hints, an extra squeeze on his hand when he came on back to Albuquerque. She even said, “Norman, you are the greatest,” and touched his cheek softly when he left her standing there at the depot.
This time, this visit home, he would have asked her, would have overcome his shyness, his reserve, if Lucian hadn’t shown up unexpectedly.
How could Lucian do it? He asked himself again as he threw one bag atop the next. Anger surged into every toss of the filled burlap sacks. He had to get rid of it. But this!
“Norman.” He heard his name called from the dock. “Norman!” Lucian yelled louder.
“What do you want?” he barked back.
Lucian stood at the massive sliding warehouse door. “I want to clear something up.”
“Leave me be.”
“I can’t do that.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I never said I wouldn’t ask her,” Lucian returned sharply.
“You understood how I felt,” Norman challenged.
“I can’t help how you felt. What about my feelings?”
Silence.
“You’ll get over it. You always do,” Lucian consoled him.
“Don’t be so sure!” Norman shot back with a grunt as he threw the last hundred pound sack of dried pintos bound for the market on the pallet.
“Stop worryin’ about it then. She hasn’t exactly said yes to me. Maybe she won’t, then what will you do?” He lied. Lucian knew she had already decided, that they were engaged to be married upon his return home this week.
Norman glared as he reached for his time card, punching it through the clock one final time before they both would return to the country train depot in Warm Springs. They had exactly one week of leave time before their National Guard unit went on active duty.
Lucian stood in front of Norman as he tried to pass by him at the warehouse door that led to the loading dock.
“Don’t mess with me right now,” Norman said, pushing him aside.
Lucian quickly put himself in front of him again.
“Lucian, I’m warning you …”
“Let’s get this straight. I didn’t mean to fall for her like I did. She likes you—we both know that. Hey, we do look exactly alike, you know. You just didn’t move fast enough. And I … well, how was I supposed to know?”
“You knew,” Norman said as he shifted his feet to get by his brother who was backing up with his every step.
“There are plenty of girls out there. You just got to understand.”
“When hell freezes over I will,” Norman groused as he sidestepped his twin and made his way to the depot loading dock office to turn in his card for his final paycheck.
Lucian was on the platform outside the door waiting with his hand outstretched. “I won’t bring it up again. Let’s shake on it.”
The sun was hot. With Norman’s last shift at the railroad loading dock just ending, he was in the mood for a shower, some hot food at Frankie’s Depot Grill, but not some lame effort on Lucian’s part to smooth things over.
Besides, he needed an aspirin for a headache his heavy thinking caused. He had never been so restless, sleepless. Perhaps that was the cause of the headache, but only God knew that heartache was worse.
“Do you love her, Lucian?” Norman asked bluntly, face to face.
“Well, yeah. Of course,” he replied, caught off guard by the question.
“No—I mean really love her—deeply love her. No passing fling?”
“Sure,” Lucian responded.
“See!” Norman shot back angrily. “There y
ou go! That’s the difference between you and me. I’m committed and you’re not!” he accused, jabbing a finger into his brother’s chest. “I’m what she needs! Not you!” he shouted, and pushed his brother aside as he headed down the steps and to the time clock to punch out for the final time.
Lucian jumped off the dock and ran to catch up with him.
The only other girl Norman ever admired even close to Mary Jane worked at the Grill. Luisa was her name. She didn’t do to him what Mary Jane did, but Luisa and her pitch black hair and smiling brown eyes somehow helped him to forget about the blonde when she came around to his table. Maybe it was time to notice her, give in to Lucian’s winning of Mary Jane. Look somewhere else.
Lucian’s graveyard shift left him fresh, full of energy. He never seems to suffer, Norman thought to himself as he stormed forward with Lucian on his heels.
“It’s gonna be a long trip in that boxcar back to Warm Springs tonight. I’d like you to just accept what I’ve said and think it,” Lucian voiced from behind with hand outstretched again.
Norman needed some time. He didn’t want Lucian to see him roll over as easy as that. “Buy me dinner, an ice cold Coke, and I’ll think on it,” he finally replied with his back still turned to his brother in a reluctant direction toward reconciliation. “I haven’t changed my mind. But I don’t want to talk about it anymore, either.”
“I’m sorry,” Lucian offered, seemingly genuine and sincere.
“Yeah. Me too,” Norman replied, grabbing his duffel bag as they headed off the dock to the diner a block away.
“Here,” Lucian said, taking the bag from his brother. “I’ll take this over to the Guard armory with my stuff. Lieutenant Kerns let me use a jeep. Why don’t you go ahead and order? I’ll be back in thirty minutes and pick up the bill and we’ll swing on back to the armory to shower, rest, and collect our stuff before heading out tonight.”
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