by Blythe Baker
“I have friends,” I said. Though, truthfully, I had not seen any of my friends in too long to remember. For a moment, I worried I was more like my father than I wanted to admit. Except, I didn’t even have regular correspondence with anyone beyond the members of my own family. Perhaps, I was even worse than him.
“A young lady needs more than friends.” The meaning of her words was no secret, and I sagged down, my shoulders hunched to my ears. She moved her foot under the blankets and softly kicked my lower back. “Sit up straight.”
“I am not in search of a suitor, Mama.”
My mother’s eyes went wide. “I’m not even sure I recognize my own daughter. Are you not the same girl who used to promptly fall in love with any young man who so much as smiled in your direction?”
“I was a child then.” Still, my cheeks flushed with embarrassment. If my mother had cared to pay attention to the men I’d chosen to fawn over, she’d have noticed a small pattern—several of them were eventually revealed to be murderers. With a tendency towards that kind of mistake, no one could blame me for being hesitant to make it again.
“And now you are a woman,” she said, leaning forward, her hand extended to me. I ignored her for a moment, but then she began to open and close her fingers quickly, asking for my hand, so I turned and gave it to her. She pulled me towards her, forcing me to slide further up the bed so I was sitting next to her hips, and cradled my hand in both of hers. “You have grown into a beautiful young woman who I am very proud of, and who I would be thrilled to introduce to one of my newest friends.”
I wanted to refuse her. I didn’t want to go and be paraded in front of strange men. I didn’t want my mother to be disappointed when I did not end the week smitten and well on my way to an engagement with a Drummond male.
And yet, I couldn’t bear to disappoint Mama now. Her eyes were wide, brows pinched together in a question. In the end, I was helpless to do anything other than give her exactly what she wanted.
I rolled my eyes and shrugged, my body slouching forward. “You’ve convinced me. I will go.”
She nudged my back with her hip, urging me to sit up straight, and then clapped her hands together. “This will be so much fun.”
2
“Druiminn Castle?” My father looked over the letter from Lady Drummond with a skeptical expression. “For an entire week.”
“Will you miss us too much?” Mama smiled, reaching across the gap between their chairs to squeeze his elbow.
Papa didn’t smile back. “I’m worried you’ll miss home too much,” he said, returning the letter to its envelope and setting it on the coffee table. “Rumor says the Drummonds do not live a life of modernity. There is no electricity in the castle. Not even a telephone.”
“That sounds like a nice escape from things. Don’t you think, Alice?”
I did my best to smile at my mother, but truly, I liked modernity. I wanted more of it, in fact. Catherine always craved our weeks spent in Somerset at the country house, but I had always liked the sound of the city around me. I liked opening my window to hear cars on the streets below, people walking and laughing down the sidewalk at all hours of the night. Briefly living in New York City with my Aunt Sarah in the months after Edward’s death had marked one of the best periods in my life—though it followed one of the darkest times. Living in a Scottish castle with strangers for a week without even the luxury of a telephone seemed like more of a punishment than a holiday.
My father’s eyes studied me, and I wondered whether he paid enough attention to me to know when I was lying. Or, rather, not telling the whole truth. There was a time when he knew me just as well if not better than anyone. That time had long since passed.
He sighed. “You two are free to do what you will. I know the ladies of my house well enough to know that my counsel counts for very little.”
“That isn’t true, dear,” Mama said. “We value your opinion very highly. But it can’t be helped if our own opinions count for more.” Once again, she laughed and squeezed his arm.
Papa managed a smile this time, but it did not reach his eyes. He lifted himself out of his chair with a groan and headed towards the door. “I will leave to let you both plan your adventure. I wouldn’t want to interrupt anything.”
Before either of us could say anything, he left the sitting room and walked across the hall to his study, closing the door behind him.
A look of fleeting disappointment moved across my mother’s face before she grabbed the letter from the coffee table and pulled it out to read through it again.
She said, “Lady Drummond mentions that the castle is a little dated, but she told me about it at the ball, and I’m sure we will have a good time.”
“Do they live there throughout the rest of the year?” I asked.
She twisted her lips to one side. “I’m not sure. That is something we can ask them when we arrive.”
“And when will that be exactly? Our arrival?”
“She invited us to come as soon as we are ready,” Mama said excitedly. “I’m sure we can be packed and prepared in only a matter of days.”
The surprise must have registered on my face because my mother reached out to pat the back of my hand. “I know you may have had other plans, Alice, but this will be a fun adventure for us girls. Lady Drummond is one of only a few new friends I’ve met in over two years who has shown any interest in socializing with us.”
“But you and Papa are hardly lacking in social activities. You refuse half of the invitations you receive.”
“Those are from old friends,” she said.
“What is the difference between old friends and new? Is not an invitation still an invitation?”
“For us, perhaps,” she said. “But not for you. You came out this past season, and the time to find a young man who could be more than a friend to you is upon us.”
I sighed, unable to stop myself. “I’ve already told you, Mama. I am not interested in—”
She held up a hand to stop me. “That may be true now, and I am not here to change your mind. What I am here to do is make sure when the time does come, you have options. Our family has been through a lot in the past few years and, whether we like it or not, people talk. Gossip has not been kind to us and the number of people willing to forge new friendships with a family who has entertained several murderers, one of them from within our own ranks, is slim. Lady Drummond has been kind to me and is extending that kindness to you, and I will not refuse her.”
“So I am to marry one of Lady Drummond’s sons or die an old maid? Is that it?”
“You know that is not what I mean.”
She was right. I knew I was being stubborn, but Catherine had been much older than me before anyone began talking about her marriage prospects. Why should I be treated differently? Why could I not be allowed the same choice and options as my older sister?”
As if reading my thoughts, my mother began to answer my question. “Our status in society has slipped. The matter was out of our control and it is not your fault or mine, but it is true, nonetheless. Now, in order to regain that status and offer you the same possibilities as Catherine, we cannot be so particular. Lord Drummond is an honorable man and Lady Drummond has welcomed us into their home with open arms despite what she has likely read and heard about us. If we want to dispel the rumors circulating, we cannot hide away at home as though we have something to be ashamed of.”
Without meaning to, I glanced across the hall to my father’s study door, and my mother’s eyes followed. Quickly, she blinked, shook her head, and focused her gaze on me again. “We cannot afford to turn away kindness, so we will be leaving for Druiminn Castle in a few days. I will arrange the entire journey. The only thing I need from you is your beautiful smile and a willing attitude. Can you manage that?”
My mother’s speech, though rousing, had done little to spark excitement. However, her expectations of me were low. I was simply expected to appear pleased to have received an invitation an
d that was something I could do. I stretched a fake smile across my face, and my mother rolled her eyes, though there was a light shining in them.
“That’s my girl.”
Only a few short days later, we found ourselves with our luggage packed and our driver loading it into the car, preparing to take us to the train station.
“Thank you, George,” I said, tipping my head as he stowed my trunk in the back.
He smiled, and I wondered that I ever could have been afraid of him. Only a few years before, he was fired from our home after being accused of a crime. He was proven innocent in the end, but at the time, I had nightmares of him sneaking back into our home to kill us. I had replayed memories of being alone with him, wondering if he’d thought of killing me then. Now, of course, I knew those had been the wild imaginings of a child. George had proven himself as harmless as could be and loyal to our family.
I knew my mother hoped for a similar turnaround for our family. She wanted us to be seen amongst good society being sociable, warm, and at ease. She wanted to put the rumors to rest by proving there was nothing less than respectable about the remaining Beckinghams. I understood her desire, but the thought of being locked away in a remote castle for a week with people we barely knew felt ominous.
“Are you sure you won’t come with us, Papa?” I asked, turning to talk to my father who was standing on the steps behind us, a pipe sticking from the corner of his mouth.
He puffed on it, smoke blooming around his face, and nodded. “I’m sure. I plan to catch up on business while the house is quiet.”
My mother appeared behind him, laying a hand on his shoulder. “You talk as though Alice and I are often loud. Do we distract you?”
“Only with your beauty.” He smiled at her, and my heart pulled.
They had been distant in the last few years. It was understandable, with everything they had endured. My father had never been an especially warm man, but Edward’s betrayal seemed to hang like a shadow over every other relationship in Papa’s life, as if he no longer fully trusted anyone.
I sometimes wished my sister was still at home to smooth the family tensions. But part of me knew that even if I could have mentioned my concerns to Catherine, she would accuse me of inventing problems where none existed. I’d always been prone to feeling ill at ease prior to tensions or tragedies, but Catherine would scoff at my predictions. The week before Edward was shot and sent to prison, I had complained of a near-constant stomach ache. Though, afterwards, Catherine claimed she couldn’t recall my discomfort.
It was Catherine’s voice I heard in my head now, when the same kind of ache settled in my stomach at the thought of spending a week at Druiminn Castle.
Do not be silly, Alice. Eating too many sweets does not enable you to sense the future.
I turned away as my parents embraced, my father whispering something to my mother that made her blush. Affectionate moments between them were rare enough that I did not want to ruin this one with my eavesdropping.
When we were finally settled in the backseat, George ready in the driver’s position, my father gave one last puff of his pipe and lifted a stationary hand in the air to see us off. Mama blew him a kiss out the window as we drove away, as though we were leaving on a long journey. She didn’t sit back properly until my father and the house were out of sight.
“There will be a driver to pick you up when you arrive in Edinburgh, Lady Ashton?” George asked.
“Yes,” she said. “The train ride is only a few hours, and the Drummonds will have a car there waiting to deliver us to the castle in the countryside. It is all arranged, so there shouldn’t be any problems.”
At that very moment, my stomach gave a nervous turn, and I clutched at it.
My mother turned to me, brows pulled together. “Nervous stomach, dear?”
“Perhaps,” I said, not wanting to tell her that the bumps of the drive were not upsetting me as much as the thought of our destination was.
“I hope you do not get ill on the train.”
I shook my head. “I’m sure it will be fine.” I heard Catherine’s voice in my head. “Too many pastries over breakfast, I suspect.”
“All right, then. No food on the train, though. Just to be safe,” she said, a stern finger pointed at me. “I’m sure there will be plenty to eat once we arrive at the castle. I don’t want to risk you getting sick on the journey.”
I nodded in agreement because I didn’t much feel like eating anyway. As the London cityscape sped by and the train station came into view, I focused my energy on beating back the worries trying to claim my attention. Catherine’s voice was probably right. I was making trouble out of nothing. My mother and I would have a fine visit and in seven short days, we would be back on this same road headed for home.
I was almost sure of it.
3
Our train ride felt long but was uneventful.
The driver sent by Lady Drummond was waiting for us when we disembarked at the station in Edinburgh, and he drove us silently through the Scottish lowlands.
The sky hung gray and heavy overhead, pressing down on us as though it wished to press us into the ground. Greenery spread out like an ocean as far as the eye could see. Rolling hills broken only by shallow rock faces ebbed and flowed like waves, and despite the premonitions that had preyed on my mind for most of the journey, I couldn’t help but be swayed by the splendor of the natural landscape. It was hard to imagine anything ominous could happen while surrounded by so much beauty.
“It is a little dreary today,” Mama said, leaning forward to peer up at the sky.
“No drearier than in London,” I said. “And the city doesn’t have these lovely views.”
She turned to me, eyebrows raised nearly to her hairline. “Are you telling me you prefer the countryside to the city? I wish your father were here. He’d sooner faint than believe that.”
“I do not prefer it,” I said shortly. “But it might not be the worst place to spend a few days of my time.”
She pressed her lips together tightly, biting back a smug smile, and I did my best to ignore her. My mother could be a braggart when she was proven right, and I didn’t want to spend the entire week with her holding this victory over my head.
Druiminn Castle appeared suddenly, as though conjured from thin air. One moment we were moving through an open bit of the countryside, and the next, we’d crested a hill and Druiminn was lying in a valley beneath us. The driver’s only words the entire drive were to confirm that the gray stone building ahead was where we’d be staying for the next week.
As we got closer, I could make out more of the grounds. The raw landscape gave way to structured flower beds and trimmed shrubs. All of the tree branches were clipped back so as not to interfere with the cars driving down the long driveway. When we pulled up in front of the castle, we found that our arrival was anticipated.
The massive steps leading up to the front entrance were flanked by a row of servants dressed in crisp black and white uniforms, standing straight and motionless. A little distance ahead of them was a slender and elegant figure that must have belonged to the lady of the house.
She had on a simple pale green dress that fell well past her knees, the sleeves billowing to her elbows. Bits of shiny ribbon wrapped around her hem, and her shoes—white and green —matched the gown. Her brown hair had flashes of red in it when the light hit it just right, and her smile was as welcoming as any I’d ever seen.
“You must be Alice,” she said, stepping forward to reach for me as soon as we stepped out of the car. “Your mother has spoken so highly of you.”
I was certain she had, seeing as the reason for this visit was to find out if I would make a fine match for one of Lady Drummond’s sons. I said, “I could say the same of you. You have made quite the impression on Mama.”
Lady Drummond turned to my mother, her smile spreading even wider. “Eleanor. I am so glad to see you again. When I heard you two would be coming, I could not contain my
excitement. Lord Drummond grew quite agitated with me, I fear.”
“We are so glad to be here,” my mother said, squeezing Lady Drummond’s hands and then peering around her to see the castle. “Everything looks so grand. Alice and I were talking on the drive about the beauty of the landscape. Like a picture.”
“I am glad we do not disappoint.” There was a playful glint in Lady Drummond’s eye but it was quickly overshadowed by something else. “I must apologize that the rest of my family are not here to greet you. Everyone is so scattered about the house I could not gather a proper welcoming party.”
My mother laughed. “It does not matter. Alice and I are just delighted to find ourselves in such a pleasant setting. We shall be content to meet the rest of our hosts at a later time.”
Lady Drummond’s expression cleared. “Excellent. Come now, and let me show you inside,” she said, wrapping an arm around my mother’s waist and beckoning me. “The servants will bring your things straight up to your rooms.”
At the foot of the steps, she paused just long enough to introduce a dignified looking man as the head butler and a female servant in a cap and ruffled apron as the maid who would be looking after us during our stay. I immediately forgot both of their names as we ascended the steps because my mind was overwhelmed by the grandeur of the building that towered over us.
I was accustomed to ancient houses on large country estates, but this one was something special that stood apart from all the rest. My own family’s country estate of Ridgewick Hall in Somerset could not compare, either in age or size. Druiminn Castle looked like something out of a medieval storybook. Stone parapets wrapped around the top of towers on each end of the castle and the front doors were immense and painted a bright red that contrasted sharply with the green landscape. I half-expected to see a moat and drawbridge somewhere on the property.
We were nearly up to the red front doors when they suddenly opened and a tall, broad man in a dark brown suit appeared in the doorway.