by Michael Todd
She shook her hands in the air. “This was supposed to be simple and fun. I was supposed to roll in there and crush some bitches, then come back out and have a party. But no. Now I have a gash in my arm, and my fucking crow is dead!”
Baal cleared his throat. “Can you get another crow?”
She looked at him angrily. “Yes, but I want that crow. He has been with me for centuries. He was my fucking baby! He was the reason I had so many beautiful birds. And look at this. Do you see this gash in my arm? I wasn’t supposed to get hurt. It wasn’t even a thought in my mind that I would get injured. I was doling out pain, not receiving it!”
Beelzebub peered at the gash, trying not to grimace. “It doesn’t look that bad.”
Mania growled. “Are you fucking blind? It does look bad. It looks horrid and disgusting and is a sign that I am not powerful enough. Lucifer is going to be pissed that I am scarred. He only loves things that are perfect. If I have a scar, I might as well go straight back to my lonely existence, dropping off souls with no time to play. I might as well just go now before he even has to lay eyes on the hideous thing.”
Baal tilted his head to the side. “But you’ll heal, and faster than any human can. Just keep using your magic. Once the wound is healed, you can work on the scar.”
Mania threw her arms out, going full tantrum. “But he’ll know! To heal that kind of wound and try to heal the scar would take me forever. And I don’t even know if I have the kind of power to heal a scar like that because guess what? I’ve never had to learn how to do it! My perfect body is no longer perfect.”
Baal sighed and turned his back, tired of listening to her whine. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we have much more pressing things to worry about right now. Things that will get us a lot worse punishment than being banished to our jobs. Lucifer does not look kindly upon failure, and we all saw his face when he created these things. He was giddy with excitement. That means the letdown will be even worse. There are only so many EMPFOLs, and they’re delicate too. Much more delicate than you, Mania.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “I am a delicate motherfucking flower, bitch.”
Baal rolled his eyes. “We need to focus. We need to keep attacking before the FOLs blow themselves up by accident. It won’t be any use if we release an EMP on a place that is already shut down. We need to have a strategy. Use them somewhere else, maybe start attacking one of the other forts too. Or wait until they get back up and knock them down again. They won’t stand a chance.”
Mania sat on one of the stones, pouting. “I won’t go back in there, not with that infected trying to kill me. I am not risking my life just to whip some demons. It’s ridiculous. I won’t do it.”
Baal growled and shook his fists. “Then what would you like us to do? We are in the middle of a battle, and believe it or not, we were winning. We would have taken down one of the forts and then an entire city. We can still do it.”
Mania shook her hand. “Just close the portal. It was supposed to be a smooth fight. Set off the EMP, then set the demons loose and watch them completely destroy the place. It started out strong, but the plan is no longer on track. There is no point in us going in there and risking our lives for something that isn’t going to work in the end anyway. Shut the portal and let the demons die. We’ll try it another time if Lucifer doesn’t lose his mind over this whole thing. I want to go home.”
Beelzebub went to speak up, but Baal shook his head. “Let her go.”
Mania pulled her staff out of thin air and looked up, pouting at the absence of her crows. She waved it and disappeared in a puff of smoke. Baal and Beelzebub stood there silently, waiting until all the smoke had completely cleared and Mania was gone.
Baal sighed and turned to Beelzebub. “This is a complete waste of a fucking victory. We had them by the balls, and despite that one guy’s comeback as an infected, everything was perfect. We breached the wall and were headed toward the city. They had no ammo left. This is so damn frustrating.”
Beelzebub nodded in agreement. “I really hope that Lucifer realizes this wasn’t our fault.”
Baal snorted, walking toward the portal. “Yeah, right, and blame anything on his beloved Mania? Dream on.”
Beelzebub shrugged. “Should we go back in and finish the whole thing off? You know, save the day? We still have time to do it.”
Baal shook his head. “She’s in charge. Let Lucifer deal with her. We’re only following orders. I don’t want to go in there and lose and then get my legs ripped off the next day in the dungeons.”
Korbin and Calvin stood at the shattered gates, battered and bruised. They stared at the remaining troops and recruits, who were holding swords, knives, and daggers. They looked like a force of medieval warriors, never giving up even when they were down in a battle.
Calvin put his arms in the air. “It might not feel like it and it might not look like it, but we are winning. The bitch who unleashed this has run back to her hole. Now all we have left are the demons behind us. It’s time for one last push to victory, then we can all rest.”
Korbin raised his sword in the air. “I know you have this in you. Each and every one of you is a hero. We are almost done, people. We are almost victors. Can you smell it in the air? I can taste the bittersweet demon blood on my lips. For Taiwan! For planet Earth!”
The group cheered and took off at a run into the field beyond the fort. With swords and knives, they attacked the last of the demons in the battle line. They moved forward, running in sync with each other. Calvin yelled a battle cry as they crashed into the demons, swinging their swords. The warriors cut off heads, knocked demons down, and impaled the demon’s hearts on the green grass beneath their feet.
Korbin took his swords, crossing them in front of him and slashing the throat of a large demon. The beast sprayed blood over the crowd of warriors, but they didn’t bat an eye. They continued fighting, soaked from head to foot in the remains of the hellbeasts trying to take their land.
A loud crack echoed across the plain, and everything slowed for a moment. The demons paused and looked at the portal as it began to shimmer and shake, then began to shrink. Korbin yelled, “The portal is closing! Take these bastards down before they can climb back through to hell!”
The men pushed harder, swinging their weapons with the last bit of energy in their bodies. They slammed demons to the ground and chased others, pushing them to their deaths as their blades cut through their hearts. As the portal shrank further, the demons’ line broke and they took off across the plains, trying to make it before they were left behind.
The men wanted to chase them, but they were so exhausted all they could do was let them run. There was no shame in it. They had done their duty thrice over. They stood watching as some made it through while some did not. The ones left in the grass were immediately attacked, torn limb from limb by the soldiers. In the end, the plains were covered in bodies and ash. It was a vivid scene of the truth of war.
Korbin dropped his swords to his sides and wiped the blood from his eyes. He looked around the field, seeing no living demons left. He watched as the soldiers moved past him, making their way back to the base before their legs gave out on them. He was confused. At one moment they were done for, fighting with their last breath. The next moment he was standing victorious in the field, watching the last demon turn to dust. What had happened in between was a complete and total mystery to him.
He slowly put his swords back in their sheaths and turned around, limping slightly. Calvin came over with a chuckle and put his arm around Korbin, walking slowly back with him toward the smashed gate. Korbin stopped and shook his head. “I don’t understand. What happened here? We were done for. There were so many demons that we were literally just fighting to stay alive. I knew that there was no chance for any of us, but I pushed the recruits—the two remaining ones—to continue to fight. To save as many lives as possible.”
Calvin laughed and looked up, pointing at his eyes. Korbin lo
oked at him strangely for a moment before realizing that they were once again bright red. “Holy shit, I didn’t notice. I guess I’m used to them being red.”
Calvin nodded. “Yeah, well, I saw the whole thing going downhill, so I swallowed hard and made a tough choice. I forced a demon to infect me, a big motherfucker, and he is a badass. He makes me a badass too. A fucking tank. Only downside is now this motherfucker in my head won’t shut up about potstickers.”
Korbin furrowed his brow but stopped, distracted by the sound of engines roaring toward them. It was the Taiwanese government officials. When they stopped, Korbin walked over and looked at their cars. “How do you have running vehicles?”
One of the officials jumped down. “They were underground. I guess the EMP didn’t travel that far. We went down there, tried them, and poof, they worked.”
Korbin nodded. “That is good to know. Hopefully, that means the signal wasn’t strong enough to completely wipe the drives of the computer systems. Maybe we can get everything back up and running quickly.”
The official pulled a stack of papers from the front seat. “Oh. That is the whole reason I was sent out here. These instructions came to us. They were sent to a nearby village, and they raced them over to us as fast as they could.”
Korbin stared at him. “What are they?”
The guy smiled. “It’s instructions from Timothy on how to reset the base. We’ve already done it in town. The lights and everything are back on. Should work really fast.”
Korbin chuckled. “I love that guy.”
Katie stood on a stone structure staring at the soft floor just feet away. Large ripples moved through the flesh, hitting the edge of the structure and shimmering back. They were no longer in the cave-like area and had made it out without setting off any more traps. It didn’t hurt that she and Pandora had taken to flying everywhere so they could see what was coming and direct Juntto around it, but now they were at another stone structure, and the ceiling in here was too low for her to fly. In fact, it got smaller as they looked ahead.
Katie followed Pandora and Juntto down a set of steep stone steps that led into a small open area. They looked around for any sign of danger, but there was nothing. As they moved forward, they found themselves in front of a long stone tunnel. It was pretty dark in the tunnel, and their suit lights weren’t strong enough to see all the way down it. Katie leaned against the wall, trying to decide what they should do.
She put her hands out. “We have to go down there.”
Pandora peeked around the corner. “That’s an interesting place. It looks like something out of Indiana Jones. You step on the wrong square, and suddenly the walls smash your skull to bits. Remember, this place is fraught with booby traps. You can’t just go running down some corridor and expect to make it out not looking like Swiss cheese.”
Juntto tilted his head. “ I don’t like Swiss cheese. It’s kind of bitter. I like Cheddar.”
Pandora blinked at Juntto. “That’s great, Juntto. I like Muenster, but that’s not what I was fucking talking about, you giant blue moron.”
He stared at her angrily for a moment before hearing Katie’s sigh. “Can you two stop bickering like siblings long enough for us to figure out where to go next? I’m seriously exhausted from this shit.”
Katie pulled a pair of goggles from her bag, wound up, and pitched them down the hall, where they skipped and jumped off the stone before coming to a stop in the middle. All three of them stood there watching. Suddenly arrows shot out from the walls, pummeling the goggles. Katie, Pandora, and Juntto jumped.
Katie shook her head. “Okay, so we know if we go that way, we get stabbed with a bunch of fucking arrows. I think at this point, the best thing for us to do would be to figure out a way around this tunnel. There has to be a place it comes out, and there’s no way there isn’t another entrance.”
Pandora narrowed her eyes. “Unless it goes down and the rest of this goes up.”
Katie opened her mouth and then shut it. “But there are arrows. Pointy ones that will kill us. I like living.”
Pandora rolled her eyes and stomped over to Katie. “Look, we have to go that way. It’s the right way.”
Katie looked at her suspiciously. “How on earth do you know that? We’ve never been down here before.”
Pandora looked down at her gloves and shrugged. “I can feel it.”
Katie lifted an eyebrow. “Really? Another gut-instinct thing? You really jumped on that out of nowhere. Weren’t you the person before who did everything they could to avoid gut instincts?”
Pandora groaned. “Fine. Look, it’s like the Sword of the Morning Star knows I’m here.”
Katie winced. “Did you just call it the ‘Sword of the Morning Star?’ Like vegan sausage patties? Morning Star bacon?”
Pandora blinked at her. “No. Not like the vegan soy cakes.”
Katie straightened up, realizing that Pandora sounded almost scared. Her voice quavered, and when she talked about it, she avoided eye contact. The normal confidence she exuded was gone when it came to talking about this sword. “Okay, so explain it to me. Why do you think it knows you’re here?”
Pandora pursed her lips, glancing at Katie. “I can feel the sword whispering in my mind, so I think I should just suck it up and make a run for it down this hall. I heal really fast, so if I get an arrow, I’ll just yank it out.”
Pandora stood and pulled out her sword, preparing herself for the run. “After I get through, it should be safe. There are only a few more holes for arrows to come out of.”
Katie stood up, looking at Juntto. She didn’t like this idea at all.
Before Pandora made a run for it, Juntto grabbed her arm. “I go first. You follow.”
Pandora stepped back, giving him a nod of thanks. He stood in the doorway and balled his fists, preparing himself for the pain he would feel. He growled loudly, taking off at a sprint down the tunnel. As he passed the goggles, the last of the arrows in the wall shot out. One went in his right arm, and one in his left. He came to a sliding stop at the other end, two arrows sticking out of his body.
He groaned as he yanked them out, dropping them on the ground. He put his hand up and waved at them. “Come on. Should be safe now.”
Katie nodded at Pandora with a smile and reached down, taking her hand. “We’ll go together. Besides, the Hulk already took one…or two for the team.”
Pandora smiled back and they followed him, walking carefully but quickly through the arrow section of the hall. Nothing else came out as they hurried by, stopping at the end to look at the punctures on Juntto’s arms.
Katie grimaced. “I’m sorry you had to do that for us, but thank you. I know Angie is going to chew us new assholes when we get home.”
Juntto chuckled and shrugged. “No big deal.”
19
Katie, Pandora, and Juntto continued farther into Baylahn. After a while, they stopped on a pile of rubble and pulled out some of their rations. Juntto was starving, and so was Pandora. Katie would usually be hungry, but for some reason, she couldn’t find an appetite to save her life at that moment. Still, she choked through one of the MREs, knowing that she had to keep her strength up if she wanted to get through there in one piece. Flying burned a lot of calories, and she had done a lot of flying down there.
After lunch they continued, coming to the end of the ruins, which gave way to lush green vegetation. It was definitely a surprise, considering they were inside a living being. The farther they went, the thicker the vegetation got. First it was just grass, then weeds and thistles, then trees started to pop up here and there. Flowers bloomed, giving way to a vast jungle. They stopped on the outskirts for a moment and looked at it in awe.
Katie pointed her finger at the tall, thick trees. “How do you grow a jungle without sunlight?”
Pandora shrugged. “Beats me, but I think I’ll pass on trying to figure out the science of this Leviathan. I just want to get through it so we can go the fuck home.”
Katie nodded and pulled out her sword as they walked into the thick of the jungle. It was unlike anything Katie had ever seen. The trees were tall and sturdy, with vines wrapped around them all the way to the top. The vines moved like snakes, and the large flowers snapped open and shut. She stopped for a moment and stared at one as big as she was.
Pandora came up next to her. “All this seems familiar.”
Katie nodded as the plant showed its teeth. “I think we stopped in a dimension like this one time. Maybe it was Baylahn’s dimension. In any case, this jungle is wild.”
Pandora smiled and continued walking. “Yeah. It’s like being in a zoo.”
They used their swords to chop through the thickets of vines and weeds. Every curtain they came upon got thicker, but their angel blades cut through like a hot knife through butter. Suddenly an animal swung down from above, hitting Juntto hard in the head. They all looked up, finding themselves surrounded by two-legged monkey-type beasts. They had no arms, but they used their legs for anything they needed.
They made wild sounds as they swung through the canopy. However, they weren’t the friendliest of animals. As they passed, they pelted the team with stones and larger rocks. Katie put her arms up, blocking one of the stones. “Those little fuckers!”
One flew down and landed on the ground next to Katie and Pandora. It was the craziest looking animal either of them had ever seen. It was pretty much just two legs, a furry body, a mouth, and a huge dick. Pandora sneered at the thing. “What the fuck? It’s like the worst combination of body parts ever. Well, dicks are fine, but not when they look like that.”
Katie smirked. “I think it’s got a fucking boner.”
The animal cooed and thrust it hips toward them. Katie backed up. “Oh, my God. It’s horny.”
Pandora started cackling, and several more landed and stared at her. They walked toward her, hissing and thrusting. She put her hands up and shook her head. “Now, now. It’s technically sexual harassment, what you are doing right now. Haven’t you ever been taught that pressuring a woman who’s obviously not interested is wrong?”