“I’m sorry, Frank.” She looked at his face and knew that things were not going to go well from here on out.
“What’s wrong?”
“This is moving way too fast for me. I just need time to get to know you without getting involved physically.”
“We’re adults, for heaven’s sake, Charlotte. We’re not children.”
“Exactly, so we should know that relationships are not built on kisses. It takes a lot more, and if we skip to the sex part, we’ll get confused.”
Frank looked mad enough to hit someone. She backed away a few steps. “You’re the one who’s confused.” He pointed his finger at her, raising his voice as if accusing her in front of the town council. “You give one message with your body and another with your words.”
Charlotte was afraid he was right. “I’m sorry if I’ve misled you. It’s been an awful couple of weeks for me, and I guess I did want a knight in shining armor to sweep me out of the nightmare I’m in.” She lowered her head and looked at the ground. “You tried to be that for me. I’m sorry I let you down.”
Her contrite attitude calmed him down. He kicked a bush and scared a rabbit out of it, which made them both laugh and broke the tension. “Maybe I pushed you a bit, Charlotte. I think I’m a lot more ready to make a commitment than you are.”
“I think that’s true,” she said so quietly that he almost didn’t hear her. He wished he hadn’t. He’d hoped he was wrong about that.
“So what do we do from here?”
“Maybe we’d better not see each other for a while. After tonight I realize that I’m not going to be able to concentrate on anybody else but my mom.”
He nodded, and they slowly walked back to the car. The ride home was silent, with only the sound of the motor and the tires hitting the road.
The next morning Charlotte called Janice and asked if she could come over for lunch.
“Sure. What can I bring?”
“Just yourself and your wisdom.”
“I don’t know if I have much of that, but I’ll come anyway.”
When she arrived, she saw the roses and said, “Wow. The florist must have had to close after delivering those.”
Charlotte gave her a sad smile and poured out the whole story of what happened between her and Frank. “I feel awful. He spent all that money and emotional energy on me.”
Janice waved her hand as if batting a fly. “Don’t worry about that. Frank has plenty of both to waste.”
“Was I wrong?”
“Of course not. You were one hundred percent right. Don’t you let him make you think otherwise.”
“I’m such a poor judge of character, Janice. I should never be allowed to date. I mess up every time.”
“That’s just because you haven’t found the right one yet. When you do, you’ll know.”
“Like you and Victor?”
Janice smiled as if she were sinking into a bath filled with rose petals. “Yes.”
Charlotte felt relieved, as if she’d been absolved of her sins. “Well, I’m more determined than ever to remain single. I don’t know why I get all these romantic notions in my head. If you hear me talking about any other man, just punch me really hard, okay?”
“Sure, that’ll be fun.” Janice grinned and Charlotte thought about how dear she’d become in such a short amount of time.
CHAPTER seventeen
To distract herself, Charlotte decided to go visit Cherry’s garden center. She hopped in the car and drove the thirty miles, looking forward to her cheerful face. As much as she loved talking to Janice, it would be nice to talk to another single woman. They’d gotten together a few more times since they’d first met and enjoyed each other’s company.
When she got there, she went inside where Cherry was hard at work. She was on the phone, but when Charlotte walked in, she smiled and waved, pointing to the phone as if Charlotte wouldn’t understand why she wasn’t dropping everything to greet her.
Charlotte smiled as she overheard Cherry saying, “Yes, I know, Mrs. Vanderweide. I’ll tell him to call you right away. I understand that you are upset, but are you sure you want him to tear out all the bushes you just put in?” There was a pause on Cherry’s side and Charlotte heard a tirade of expletives coming through the receiver.
Cherry’s eyes grew wide, but she calmly answered. “I can tell you feel strongly about that. I’ll have him call as soon as he gets in.” There was another slight pause and then Cherry quickly added, “Oh no, no need for you to come in! He’ll come to you.”
That must have placated Mrs. Vanderweide because she was able to finally say, “Bye now. I’ll have him call as soon as he gets in.”
Cherry hung up the phone and looked at Charlotte with an expression that was similar to someone who’d just emerged from a war zone. Her eyes were wide and unfocused, and her hand trembled a bit as she set the phone back down. But then she swished her hands together as if ridding them of some kind of muck and said, “Sometimes, I don’t like my job very much.”
Charlotte laughed aloud at that understatement and greeted her. “It’s great to see you, Cherry.”
“You, too! I should always have someone I like in the room when I’m talking to Mrs. Vanderweide. I know she’s going to get me fired someday because I’m finally going to break down and tell her what I really think of her.”
Cherry stood up and walked over to hug Charlotte. “What a nice surprise! Is this a social visit or a business one?”
“Both. I need some annuals for my pots, but I also just needed to see you, Cherry.”
“Well, let’s start with the first part of that. You haven’t been in here in months. Everything has been moved around since then. Let me show you around.”
When Charlotte nodded, Cherry took her arm and began showing her around the place. There is something healing about being in a garden. All the tension began to evaporate from Charlotte as she looked at the variety of plants God had made and humans had arranged. “This is a delightful place, Cherry. I should come here weekly to renew my spirits.”
Cherry nodded. “A lot of people do. We have regulars that just come hang out.” She pointed to a bench that sat under a Japanese maple and was framed by two ceramic pots chock full of petunias. “Let’s go sit on that bench over there and talk.”
Charlotte let her lead her there as if she were a lost little lamb. And in some ways, she felt she was. But she didn’t want to make others feel that way, so she quickly asked “So, what’s happening with you these days, Cherry?”
Cherry looked thoughtfully in the distance as if Charlotte had asked a deep philosophical question instead of a surfacy, shallow one. “Hmm, I guess not much new. I’m in love for the fiftieth time this year is all.”
Charlotte laughed, “That’s a lot of times! I don’t even know that many men.”
Cherry grinned. “Me either, but that doesn’t seem to stop me from falling in love,” she chortled. “A man looks at me sideways and I fall.”
“That’s what I love about you, Cherry. You are so honest. I’m always thinking of what is the socially acceptable thing to say, and you just blurt out whatever you are feeling. It’s very refreshing.”
“Easy for you to say. I’m at the constant whim of my emotions. Sometimes they feel like a tidal wave that is sucking me out to sea and I have no control over them. I’d love to be cool and collected like you.”
“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”
“Uh oh, what’s going on?”
“Nothing new—just me vacillating through life.”
“That, I understand!”
“Somehow I knew you would.”
CHAPTER eighteen
The summer passed like a dandelion seed in the wind. Charlotte spent it almost entirely with young girls. Misty and her friends continued to show up at least once a week, and the high school girls completed the six-week study she had prepared. At the fifth session something wonderful happened. JoAnn had continued to come each we
ek but kept her skeptical attitude. She’d been a leader among the girls, but now they began to distance themselves from her. Charlotte watched this with some alarm because she was afraid JoAnn would just quit coming, and she knew in her heart that JoAnn needed this more than any of the girls.
On this particular night, they looked at what God had to say about saving sex until marriage. Charlotte had given the girls verses to read and asked them to come prepared. They all did, except JoAnn. “I didn’t have time” was her excuse. Throughout the study, she crossed her arms in front of her, frowning. Charlotte prayed for her the entire time but felt certain she was losing her for good. She concluded the study by talking about the fact that God made the sexual relationship between men and women and that He delighted in it, but that it grieved Him when couples used it to manipulate each other or when people perverted his beautiful plan into something hideous and grotesque. “There are examples of that all around us. Hollywood has made a fortune promoting it. But God has given us parameters to protect us. Marriage is that parameter.” The girls were full of questions after that, and the study ended on a positive note.
Louisa suggested they all go out for ice cream afterwards. Charlotte told them to go ahead without her, and JoAnn said she wasn’t interested. Marcie gave her a look that sent out daggers and several of the other girls rolled their eyes. “Don’t look at me like I’m the town prostitute!” JoAnn yelled. “I just don’t feel like going for ice cream.” Charlotte jumped at this outburst, since that was the most JoAnn had said all evening.
JoAnn hung back when the girls trickled out. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure.”
“I believe every word you’ve said here, but I can’t do it. I’ve gone too far away from God’s principles to ever turn back. The damage is done, and it’s hopeless for me.”
“JoAnn,” Charlotte said her name gently. “It’s never too late. Think of the prodigal son, Mary Magdalene, the woman at the well. They all turned their backs on God but came back. That’s the beauty of Jesus Christ. It’s never too late. Even the thief on the cross knew that.”
JoAnn shook her head. “My boyfriend would never understand. He’d leave me so fast my head would spin.”
“Then he’s not worth having. If he’s only in the relationship for what he can get out of it, he’s not the man for you.”
JoAnn sat there with her head in her hands, rubbing her forehead as if to rid it of a terrible stain. And perhaps that was exactly what was going on. “You can see how the other girls think about me now. They won’t want to be my friends, and I’ll have no one.”
“I don’t know. I’ve gotten to know those girls pretty well the last few weeks.” Charlotte fell silent, thinking. “How about this . . . what if next week you share with them your commitment to change? Tell them you need their help to stand firm in your convictions. I think they’ll be right with you.”
JoAnn nodded. “I’d like to try that. Will you help me?”
“You bet,” said Charlotte and jumped up to hug her. “I can’t wait to see how God is going to use this in your life, JoAnn. You’re going to be a new person.” For the first time since the study began, JoAnn broke into a smile.
The next week, JoAnn came early so that they could pray and discuss what she should say. They decided to make it the first thing they’d do that evening. When the study began, and JoAnn cleared her voice to speak, Charlotte thought it was the bravest thing she’d ever seen. The girls responded perfectly, surrounding JoAnn with hugs and promises of loyalty. When the study was over that night they all went for ice cream, treating JoAnn as if she were the virgin queen among them. It brought tears to Charlotte’s eyes. She would miss the Monday night sessions more than she could say.
School started, which ended the impromptu visits from Misty and her gang, and the Monday night study had ended. Charlotte was still involved with youth group and Wednesday night Bible study, but life lacked the momentum it had when she was involved in so many things. The nice thing was that her schedule was open to see her mother. She went often, for just a couple of days at a time. Her mom was still able to work part-time but had no energy for anything else. She’d lost her hair and relied on the wigs, which made her look normal, except she was quite a bit thinner than usual.
Charlotte saw Frank every now and then, but it was awkward between them. He let her know that if she ever changed her mind he’d be waiting, which brought her turmoil.
Pastor Gordon noticed that Frank didn’t seem to be in the picture any more, but Charlotte was very formal and stiff with him. He never got a word of encouragement from her, so he kept his distance. Their relationship remained polite but completely platonic. Something had been irrevocably stirred in Gordon through Charlotte, though, making him question his long insistence on being a bachelor. He remembered a girl he’d met in college who he hadn’t heard from in years, so he struck up a correspondence with her. They now wrote regularly, encouraging each other in their professional, spiritual, and personal lives. It was a comfortable relationship. Gordon wondered sometimes if he liked it especially because it demanded little more from him than sitting down to write a letter every week or so.
Janice and Victor, in the meantime, were progressing at breakneck speed. She called Charlotte one evening. “I have the best news. Can you come over?”
“Right now?”
“Yes. It can’t wait!”
Charlotte threw a coat on, since the weather was getting quite chilly, and drove to Janice’s place. As soon as she walked in, Janice tore her coat off her and threw it on a nearby coat rack. “Sit down,” she ordered. Charlotte sat, but Janice bounced, reminding Charlotte of Tigger in Winnie the Pooh. “He’s asked me.”
Charlotte knew perfectly well what Janice was talking about but she couldn’t avoid having some fun. “Who’s asked you what?”
“Victor’s asked me.”
“Oh, did he ask you to go to that play you’ve been wanting to see?”
“No, you ninny. He asked me to marry him!”
Charlotte broke into a big smile and threw her arms around Janice. “I’m so glad. It couldn’t happen to a sweeter girl.”
“Oh thank you, Charlotte. You’ll be my maid of honor, won’t you?”
“Really?” Charlotte was truly touched. “I’d love to. When’s the wedding?”
“January 15th. It’s a Saturday. We want an afternoon wedding. His daughter is going to be the flower girl, if we can get her to walk down the aisle.” She clapped her hands, popping up and down on her toes. “It’s better than I could ever have imagined. Victor is absolutely perfect for me.”
“I think he is. Let’s go out to dinner tonight to celebrate.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I can’t. Victor and I are going to go visit his grandmother and tell her. We have so many people to break the news to.”
After visiting a few more minutes, Charlotte left, feeling happy for Janice but blue for herself. The temptation to call Frank was enormous. Later that evening, when she was eating her dinner alone, she thought that perhaps in her caution she’d thrown out the baby with the bath water. Maybe Frank was the right person for her, but it had moved too fast. Maybe it was better to take a risk in a relationship she wasn’t sure of than to be alone forever. She picked up the phone three times before she actually dialed the number, but when Frank answered on the third ring, she warmed to the task.
“Hello,” he answered abruptly as if expecting a business call.
“Hello, Frank.”
“Charlotte! Wow, you’re the last person I expected to call. Is everything all right?”
“Everything’s fine. I was just wondering . . .” She paused, not at all sure how to proceed.
“Yes?”
“What would you think of starting over again from the very beginning?”
“You know I’d love to, Charlotte.” His voice was soft and warm, giving her goose bumps.
“I’ll need to take things really slow—just be friends, no
thing physical, but get to know each other.”
“I’d like that. I’ve thought a lot since our last meeting. I think that’s one of the things that drove my first wife away. I always had my agenda instead of considering hers, and here I was doing it all over again. I want to do it right this time.”
Charlotte’s heart warmed to those words, “Thank you, Frank. I needed to hear that.”
Frank cleared his voice, taking on the tone of a cow poke. “Well, ma’am. How about if we go to the high school basketball game on Friday night? The team’s pretty good this year, and I think some of your high school girls are cheerleaders.”
Charlotte laughed. “I’d like that. How about if I meet you there and we sit together?”
“Sounds perfect.”
“It does to me, too.”
She hung up the phone feeling content. She was following her own advice to the young girls, and it felt good.
CHAPTER nineteen
Charlotte had a blast on Friday. She saw Frank waiting just inside the entrance and waved to him. As it happened, Victor and Janice were there, too, so they sat with them. Several of the girls from youth group saw her and bounded up to her. JoAnn came over and whispered in her ear, “I’m single and loving it. I didn’t know how much I was missing.” Charlotte hugged her, then the rest of the girls swept her away to buy popcorn.
The team won but not without a run for their money, so the evening was a success in every way. Afterwards, Victor asked them if they’d like to go out for coffee. Charlotte felt a little silly when she got in her car and Frank got in his, but she was glad they decided to do it this way. They seemed less like a couple to everyone observing and, most importantly, to themselves.
As soon as they’d settled into the booth, Janice leaned forward. “I have news.” Then she sat back with a satisfied grin on her face, waiting for the reaction.
Charlotte bit. “Okay, our curiosity is aroused. What’s the news?”
“Pastor Gordon has a girlfriend.” Her eyebrows arched and her smile grew bigger as she waited for her news to sink in.
This was the last thing in the world that Charlotte expected to hear, and for some reason it made her feel sadder than anything since she’d heard her mother had cancer. Frank, on the other hand, said, “That confirmed bachelor? I didn’t think he knew what a woman was, other than to pray for her.”
Crispens Point - Book 1 of the Blackberry County Chronicles Page 11