Chapter Thirty
Ernie was deeply embarrassed as he came down for breakfast. Edna got up and walked to him before anyone there could hear. “Good morning Ernie, how are you faring? Better after a good night’s sleep?”
“Mrs Kellor, I am so sorry about yesterday. That would have to have been one of the worst days of my life. Things were happening around me over which I had absolutely no control. I was useless, of no good to you or Miss Kellor.”
“Well be that as it may Ernie, yesterday turned out to be the best day in the lives of many people. Now come and sit down with us and put on a happy face; you’ll find it’s not all that bad. The cook has made flapjacks, just for us, and he’s actually managed to find some maple syrup from Vermont; can’t get any better than that eh?”
“Mrs Kellor, sorry, Edna, will there ever be a chance in hell of knowing what has happened in the last few weeks?.. you know, Reggane and Rienus?”
“Why of course you will Ernie, I wouldn’t be so cruel as to keep secrets from our Security Director, now would I?”
“Er no ma’am.”
“Just like you wouldn’t be keeping any secrets from me.”
“er no ma‘am.”
“Good, now let’s get on with life...oh look baked beans, they’ll go well with flapjacks...and bacon, yes plenty of bacon, eat up old chap, plenty of this stuff to go around.”
Archie was enjoying this lavish breakfast. “I’ve just had a drink of this milk, you know, I reckon it tastes better than back home, maybe a little sweeter, yum. When do you think Oskar will be back Edna, did he give any indication if...do you think he will.”
“Archie, the best thing for Oskar right now is to spend quality time with his brother and sister. If you are asking me if he will be coming home with us, I would guess not; and you can’t blame him can you?”
“You know, I’ve known him most of my life; Alex will be heartbroken as well; knew him longer than his own family.”
“Look on the positive side Archie. Would you be taking Oskar with you to live in Vermont? How would he feel about that? Just wait till you see him, I guarantee that for all the time you’ve known him; you’ll never have seen him in such a happy state. Believe me.”
“I suppose so Edna. Hey there they are now, all in the back of Gazza’s ute, hope the local policeman don’t see that.” Oskar, Mizzy and Charlie ran up to the window of the hotel and looked into the dining room. They saw the Yanks inside, but would not come in, after all, they were filthy, had ash on their faces and looked like rag dolls. They pranced around like children, pushed their faces to the glass, making crude gestures. Then all three came to the doorway, poised as a small choir and began to sing a little ditty which Gazza had taught Mizzy, many, many years ago;
They think they civilise us HA!
Whenever they advise us HA!
To learn to make the same mistake
That they are making too...HA HA
AND THEY MAKE QUITE A FEW!
With that, they ran back into the street laughing.
“I see your point about Oskar being so happy” said Archie. “Didn’t even know he could run like that. I shouldn’t interfere with his happiness, God knows he’s missed so much of that during his life. But I will see him again won’t I? Edna? Promise?”
“My bloody oath cobber. I reckon he won’t turn his back on you or Alex; he’ll pop up to be best man for Alex, I’ve no doubt. Now I need to talk with old Gazza for a bit, then give Jade and Phoebe a call.”
“Gazza, I think you are a wonderful and caring man. I know of your secret and it is safe. Now this is a photograph of Coran with the people in the USA who raised him; looks like he’s about one year old. Coran has never seen it. One day Gazza, he will be depressed and come to you for advice; show him this photo; he will then know his course. Do you understand sweet man?”
He nodded and bowed. “Thank you. Thank you, my fair lady.”
“Ha, good one. Now when you find your passengers, tell them that the Yanks will be leaving Goomeri tonight; that Edna has other important tasks back in the USA, OK? Oh it would be nice if Coran could settle Archie’s fears.”
“Yes of course Missus Edna. The end is just a little harder when brought about by friends.”
“Oh yes, next time you go to Brisbane, go and see this man, he has hundreds and hundreds of cars, utes, vans and trucks; all brand new ones. Tell him who you are and you can pick any car you want to keep; it has already been paid for by my boss. She has plenty of money. Make sure he gives you all the right paperwork and that the gas tank is full before you leave his yard. OK?” She gave him a hug and a kiss, leaving him there starring at the letter of credit.
She looked back and yelled, “Those kids just then..The King and I..right?” He raised his thumb. “And you, just then..Jesus Christ, Superstar?”
Gazza walked and sat down on the running board of his ute. He looked up into the sky and felt the warmth of the morning sun on his face. Glad Constable Stubbs is Murgon way today, don’t want my family locked away, he thought, as he folded Edna’s gift into a smaller square. Maroochy’s spirit will come to Coran, Mizzy and Charlie tonight..she will tell of worlds, of Auras and of the Dreaming. She will tell of Edna, cousin of the Rainbow Serpent, who entered the Tjukurrpa world and found her and our family. He tapped the ground with his foot as he hummed the words:
In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention
Well-secluded, I see all
With a bit of a mind flip
You're there in the time slip
And nothing can ever be the same
He would take those three kids home later. First thing tomorrow, I’ll fill this ute with petrol, check the oil and water, tyre pressure and fluids and of most importance, my CD collection. Quite a long way to the Alice from here, he thought. He opened his old weathered wallet and filed Edna’s letter in the back, it pressed against an old piece of thin leathery parchment, which was a map signed by one Harold Bell Lasseter. He removed an old certificate and looked at it, wondering why he ever kept it. It was a certificate issued under the Inspection of Machinery Act 1908, which read, Traction-Engine-Driver’s-Certificate-of-Competency, certifying that Garry J Robinson had achieved that qualification. He tucked it back and put the wallet into his shirt pocket.
I’ve got the sun in the morning, And the moon at night.
Got no heirlooms for my kin,
Made no Will, but when I cash in,
I’ll leave the sun in the morning, And the moon at night.
Edna went back to her table, “Hoy bring those flapjack back here young lady, I’m needing more fuel for the work ahead of me. Sweetheart...Ms Stubbs, I just love your beautiful red hair, it looks...serendipitous and...oh I don’t know; yummy?..don’t you think so Ernie?”
Ernie was happy he didn’t spill the entire cup of coffee on his shirt, he was desperately thinking of something to say. “Ernie, before I forget, will you organize for a couple of cartons of white and reds from the vineyard that supplies this place. Truly wonderful wines; anyway we are now two passengers less on the jet’s manifest, may just as well take advantage of that. And why not consign a couple of cases to Rienus over in Reganne, I’m sure he’d loved that; put your name down as the consignor OK?..better still, write him a note, tell him you were thinking of him while you were on vacation in Australia and thought he may enjoy a drop or two?”
“Yes, yes I will Edna, thank you very much.”
“Archie, after I make this call to our pilots, you may escort me into the metropolis of Goomeri – I hear they have very interesting curiosity shops here – might find a bargain or two, what say you?”
“Indubitably Misses Kellor.” Edna shook her head; she had heard those words before.
“Oh look, this town is having an international pumpkin festival; in a few week’s time. Shame we can’t stay to see it.”
They walked down the road, arm in arm, not as lovers, but as new found friends, enjoying each
other’s company.
“Should I follow them boss?”
“No, don’t bother Kendall. That woman is more than capable of looking after herself; God knows she can. No, instead you can escort me to that dress-shop. Got to buy some red dresses and accessories for Mizzy. Rienus would have wanted that.”
-oOo-
“Er Aunt Edna, are you awake?”
“Yes Jade, something’s up? Phoebe’s all right?”
“Sort of. Would it be of any consequence if we don’t go home via Hawaii? Phoebe would rather go via Tahiti?”
“Don’t mean anything to me Jade, how come?”
“Er, she’s kind of hankering for something special to eat; trouble is I can only get exactly what she wants and it’s in French Polynesia.”
“Some special fish dish I suppose.”
“Aunt, it’s a vanilla and custard slice. Seems the one she wants so badly is only sold from a stall on the second floor of the Papeete general market building. I know aunt, don’t look at me like that.”
“So do it. Why did you wake me up for that, young man? By the way, I really think you guys should do some window shopping while we are there; particularly in those French chemists and drug stores. Now you little guinea pigs go back to cuddling and think about vanilla slices.”
“Er, yes, thanks Aunt Edna. She’s never called us guinea pigs before, those darn little critters do nothing but...root, eat and shit...and have puppies. Oh shit, oh shit. And I’ve left her at the controls by herself. He raced back to the cockpit, tripping over Kendall’s outstretched foot in his haste.
“Oops, sorry captain, you OK? Anything wrong?”
“No, puppies, oh shit oh shit.”
Archie stirred as Jade raced past him. He turned with curiosity at Edna who just shrugged her shoulders and said, “Isn’t young love wonderful to see? Archie, ever been to Tahiti, no? Neither have I. How about you Ernie?.Kendall?..well guess what gentlemen?”
-oOo-
“Madame, this is the finest of our range – it carries a certification of authenticity, guaranteed by the Departement de la Polynesie Francaise de Commerce. It is unique and not another one exactly the same exists. See how the brille, er the shine, cannot decide if it is silver or noir.”
“Four and a half thousand dollars? Do you mean United States dollars?”
“You have us selling our range at heavily discounted prices this week Madame; this price will increase on Sunday. For a little extra, we can also place it into a setting of your choice; our craftsmen are indeed in equality with any other country. See here are examples of their artistry.”
“Hmm, Ok, how about this. I would like that black pearl mounted on flat mother-of-pearl in the shape of this.” Edna held up the Goomeri. “And to come with er, that gold chain over there, and a pin, no a clasp; so it can be a brooch or both. Can do?”
“Oui, of course; do you want the backing be the same size as that, as that er, bone?”
“Maybe not so thick.” Edna placed the large black pearl over the pointing bone and turned to Ernie, “what do you think?’
Ernie would willingly swear that the Earth was flat if it would please Edna. He put on his see..I’m really interested face and nodded, “I think that would be a wonderful design Mrs Kellor, the backing should be a little wider and flatter; it is a lovely contrast and those colours are unusual; yes, an interesting design.”
“Liar Ernie, your appreciation of fine art is crass, inane, and a little naive, don’t try and baffle me with bullshit old man. Ok lady, go work out how much you’re going to slug me for all that; oh and I need it to be insured and posted to this address, it’s in Australia.” Edna wrote down Mrs Mizzy Ooloo, Post Office, Goomeri, Australia, 4601.
“At once Madame and that er, bone, would you like me to... remove it?”
“I’ll put it away, don’t panic; you’ve no idea of how much that’s worth.”
Edna had just finished signing for the purchase when Ernie’s phone rang. He looked worried as he spoke. He repeated some details and turned to Edna. “Mrs Kellor, we need to go to the Poste de Police de Papeete; seems Archie Bentley has just been arrested. Damn, I told Kendall to keep an eye on him.”
-oOo-
Maurice, the Inspecteur Chargé de Affaires Ploynésia Francaise was happy to see the Gulfstream taking off from Fa’aa airport. Trouble makers and vandals those Americans, and that Bentley; paysan; failed Frenchmen from the swamps of Louisiana; assaulting and insulting our tongue with vile and corrupted words. He is lucky I found no laws to keep him confined after that unacceptable behaviour in the Centre Civique.
Once in level flight, Edna came with a platter of Vanilla Slices. “Eat up gentlemen, get to like them, we have a few cartons to get through, compliments of our pilots.”
Archie looked sheepishly at Edna. “It’s really Alex’s fault Edna. He put it in my head when he said goodbye to Oskar and me. He gave me a fist full of dollars, well quite a few thousand in fact, and told me to spend it all, and to have a good time and to get into trouble. So guess that’s what I did.”
“So he told you to go to the Veritable Produits Francais outlet in the main street, buy shelves of French perfume, wine, chocolate and stuff, then cart it all to the Civic Centre and begin opening, breaking, pouring out, spilling, tearing and dumping it all?”
“No crime in that.”
“Only against common sense Archie. OK the French are not the most likeable people on the planet, but this, this is, strange behaviour Archie. You had people on the footpath and in the street, crying. And you could have spoken to those police in English not Cajon; that’s probably why you were arrested; you know how fanatical they are about their beautiful language. Given all that anyway; what a waste of money man. Do you really think Alex will be pleased about that?”
“Let me tell you about ice-cream economics Edna; unless Alex already has?” Edna just looked at him.
“I suppose it’s really a state of mind. You know when you go to the mall? It’s a hot day; and there you see an ice-cream kiosk; all the flavours; big cones; and you’re hungry and you know ice-cream is not exactly food? Now this is the point; does your mind first say, I’ll buy myself an ice-cream;..or does your mind first say, hmm can I afford to buy myself an ice-cream. Big difference in one’s state of mind. Ice-cream economics you see. Alex told me to eat a lot of ice-cream on this trip”
“Yea well, you just keep eating these vanilla slices; FRENCH vanilla slices, monsieur. Thanks to you, the catering people at the airport refused to top up our fresh food larder.”
Ernie looked over at Archie and gave him a comforting and reassuring smile. At least I’m not the only bastard on her shit list today.
“Another vanilla slice Phoebe?” asked Edna.
“No thanks Aunt Edna, one was enough for me. It just hit the spot.” Edna thought for a while and said,
“Phoebe, sweetheart, let me tell you all about ice-cream economics.”
Epilogue
“Aggie, that pattern you’re weaving is gorgeous. Good to see you take some time away from HQ. May I borrow your whiteboard?”
“Of course aunt, got some figuring to do?”
“Just need to list my priorities, like you taught me. How’s Alex?”
“Just got off the phone with him. Archie absolutely loves that place, they had a bit of spat about who was paying for it, but that’s for later. He loves the barn, reckons his collection of telephones and stuff will look good there. You’re still taking him around Putney and Brattleboro this Sunday?”
“Yes sweetheart, but I won’t be able to do it every weekend. Seems like I’m needed everywhere at once with this Shaman post.”
“Would you like another one of you, Aunt Edna?”
“Don’t go there Aggie, I’m warning you; I still have the Goomeri Pointing Bone.”
“I reckon the men around here are happy there’s only one Edna Kellor.”
“I’ll treat that comment wit
h the...no I won’t comment on your comment. Now let me see, 1. Adam’s Chieftain Tribal Elevation. 2. Alex’s acceptance/approval 3.Aggie/Alex Ceremonial Wedding; add brackets; important guests, list Oskar, Coran, Charlie Chaplain...gotta love that name, Mizzy; Ambassadors, Abdul, Aaron, Rienus; I’m glad you asked Rienus to give you away Aggie; that’s very nice; Other Chiefs, brackets venue, accommodation. 4. The whispering spirits at Cottonwood; need Coran for that as well.”
“Aunt?”
“Not really a big deal Aggie. I need Coran to help me find a bone or two, preferably the skull of an evil man. Got to do some wading in mud to find it. Then have to dig a deep hole, place the skull headfirst into it; something to do with it facing away from the mother earth; then I need to put the Goomeri on top of it; an eternal sentinel of sorts; then fill the hole, do a little cha cha on the mound and drink copious amounts of fire water..well, not really drink...rather rinse and spit. I’m offering the Cottonwood house to Coran; hope you don’t mind.”
“Suits me fine Aunt. How about er, Erin? she still lives in the area.”
“I wasn’t going to say anything to either one, but if Coran decided to live there, I thought it would be wonderful if they just happen to stumble upon each other.”
“That would make a nice story; do you think he will stay?”
“My guess is that he’d be liking all this travelling. He hates the cold, so maybe a few months of the year in Minnesota, then go down-under. I know the land is really good for growing herbs, and he’s a natural; will end up making a fortune from it.”
“Now purely for planning purposes Aggie, when do you think the clouds over Reganne will start filling the pond? Anywhere around the time of Phoebe and Jade’s little papoose entering the world?”
“Just after I think aunt.”
“OK, then we have number 5. Oh shit yea, the big Powwow; brackets; venue; VIP; accommodation, transport; hey Aggie, I hear we have some more States interested in sponsorships for that one.”
“Hmm, maybe I’m getting a bit cynical about some of the State governors; it’s amazing what happens when the name Kellor comes up.”
“Number 6. Damn; I’ve got to teach upcoming Shaman prospects, vet them, and kick asses. You’ve left some letters on the whiteboard here Aggie, looks like FOO, anyway; 7. Sort out the mess with Chippewa; damn in-fighting; 8 The licensing fiasco with the Cree; 9. That not quite upright senator from...hey Aggie, did you know that right now, at this very minute, yes this very minute, the township of Goomeri is holding a pumpkin festival?”
“No, I didn’t know that aunt; shame on you Dwarg.”
“Get this, the main event is rolling, that’s right, rolling pumpkins down a street called Policeman’s Hill; that’s because the Police station is at the bottom...sorry Aggie...I’m starting to rave; I’ll be quiet.”
“No, it’s all right” Aggie giggled, “honest, I’m fascinated, go on.”
“That little town has a monument to the fallen soldiers from the surrounding area. It’s in the form of a small obelisk with a clock and the numbers have been replaced with letters which read LEST WE FORGET. It’s very moving to see. There’s a clock on either side; funny thing is, that one minute hand is a minute faster than the other, or I suppose you could say, one side is just a little ahead of the other.”
“Whoa aunt, whoa...did Ernie mention anything about some letters scratched into the sand or the gravel there?”
“Er, no Aggie, he was in a panic when we arrived at the hotel at Goomeri.”
Aggie reached for her phone and pressed buttons, “Ernie, back there in that town, yes Goomeri, you said you saw those letters scratched into the ground? Exactly where in relation to the front of the memorial were those marks made?...the back..I see. Thanks Ernie.” She hung up and shook her head; take it easy Dwarg, I know, I’ll ask her.
“Aunt, which clock was faster than the other? the front or the rear?”
“Can’t rightly remember now Aggie, er, let me think. I think the back one was faster...no hang on; the front one was faster, er slower...ooh Aggie, my brain is starting to hurt. Did I tell you about the antique shop further down the street?”
Aggie went up to the whiteboard and spun it around “You need a break Aunt Edna; and so do I. Tell you what, how about us girls, just the two of us go pumpkin rolling, right now, tonight; I’ll ask Alex to drive us to Boston Airport and in a few hours we can be in Goomeri. I’ll give you ten minutes to pack.”
“Sure, no worries. Only one question Aggie?”
“Yes ma’am?”
“What do I do with the extra nine minutes?”
End
About the Author
Born in the Netherlands, Tony Lourensen, with his parents, migrated to Australia in 1952 at age six. He had a Catholic upbringing, being educated by both nuns and brothers. He was happy to get away from his schooling and as soon as he was of eligible age, he enlisted in the Australian Army. He saw active and special service in Vietnam and Singapore and spent 13 years in the military. After his discharge he found employment in a number of occupations including Occupational Health and Safety Co-ordinator in a large service industry. He has travelled extensively throughout Europe, Asia and the USA. It was in Putney, Vermont where he gained the inspiration for this book and keeps fond memories of the people, the mountains, the colour and the seasons.
Also by this Author
Ho Chi Minh, Johnsy and I : Ramblings from a Baggy Arse Army Clerk during those Hazy, Crazy Days of the Vietnam War.
Dwarg in the Seventh Dimension : The Aggie Kellor Experience
The Goomeri Pointing Bone : Sequel to Dwarg in the Seventh Dimension Page 30