by Bourne, Lena
But I’m done waiting. I might have to keep reminding myself of that, but it’s true.
So I pack up the envelope with all of the papers I stole from my dad, along with the hard drive, and leave. I left the keys on the little table just inside the door, and I get a very strong feeling of dread once the door clicks shut behind me, realizing that after this point there’s no easy way back to the life I led in this apartment.
But that’s alright. I’m never coming back to this life anyway, I don’t want to.
The sun’s up now and it promises a hot day ahead, even though it’s only nine AM.
I close off my thoughts and focus on nothing, as I drive off.
That becomes hard after I hear the unmistakable sound of Harleys behind me, and all sorts of conflicting, but equally strong emotions hit me at once. Emotions that don’t mix together well, like indifference and love, homesickness and anger, regret and vindication, guilt, shame, loss, loneliness, belonging and desire. But it’s not just one bike I hear, it’s several, three in fact, I realize after checking my rearview mirror.
I don’t like how strongly Ink and my love for him crashed back into my thoughts from just hearing the sound of Harleys. I feel like crying, and I feel like laughing, because for a split second, I was sure he has come after me to beg me to stay. And for that second, I knew that’s the only thing I really want to do. Stay, with him. In that second, I’d say yes to whatever he asked me, except if he asked, “Is it really over between us?”
But it is over. It has to be. I assert that to myself over and over until I kind of feels like it’s the truth again.
It doesn’t occur to me that the bikers are following me until they pull into the street where Ink’s mom lives. But wondering why they should be following me into this quiet residential street is pretty much all I have time for, before I stop at the curb in front of her house, and the three bikers surround my car. The first blocks my way from the front, and the second from the back, so I don’t really have a choice, but to roll down my window like the third one, who pulled up right beside my door, is signaling me to do. I can’t drive off, and there’s an unmarked white van parked behind us now too. I didn’t notice it before, but now the sight of it is filling me with sour panic.
“We’ll take those papers your father wants, Miss,” the guy says gruffly. He has a black bandana tied over his mouth, so all I can see are his eyes. They’re black too, despite actually being blue, and the hard look in them is telling me I better just do what he says, or I’ll regret it.
“And if I refuse?” I ask anyway, in a voice much too shrill with fear than I’d like it to be. But I’m getting angry too. How dare my father send these thugs after me? How could he?
Roadside Sinners MC is written in bold across the back of the guy blocking my way from the front. I’m certain now that Ink was telling me the truth all along, and that my father was the one lying.
“Don’t fuss now, just do it,” the man says. “Or else we take the papers, you, and that nice old lady you were about to pay a visit to.”
What the fuck? Is my father really this evil? Would he really send bikers after his daughter? Would he really tell them to abduct me? Would he have any control over what happens to me once they do? Would he care? My head’s spinning from those questions, my stomach clenched so tight I’m sure I’ll throw up any second. This is so sick.
“You won’t do anything like that,” I say, as I rally. “That would bring all of Road Knights MC down on you and Devil’s Nightmare MC too.”
I’m so glad I listened to Ink closely when he told me about his new MC, and what he planned on asking of them.
The man just laughs a harsh laugh, and I’m pretty sure the other two joined him.
“After this morning, none of us will have to worry about any of them anymore,” he says and laughs some more.
“Give me those papers now,” he barks, all laughter gone from his voice. It sounds ominous now. Like it’s actually a death threat.
“Fine, here,” I say, handing him the envelope through the open window. “That’s all of it.”
It took less than a split second to decide that, and now I’m hoping, and praying he’ll stay true to his word and just ride away, leaving Josie and me in peace. I have to warn Ink, because that death threat I heard wasn’t actually for me.
“Is that all of it?” he barks.
“Yes,” I say.
“Good,” he says then does something very lewd with his eyes as they glide over my breasts, making me feel naked. “I’ll see you around, Julie, count on it.”
Now, that threat was for me. He’d been hoping I’d refuse to give him the papers. And my dad wouldn’t have been able to stop anything from happening to me from that point onward, even if he tried. I know all this as plainly as if the guy told me.
They ride off, the white van following, and I finally let go the breath I didn’t even know I was holding.
I have to warn Ink. I don’t even know about what, but I know something bad is going to happen, and I know I might already be too late. I also know I’m not going anywhere without him. But I ignore that part.
24
Ink
The sun’s up and we’re assembled in front of the bunker now. Most of the guys I missed being here last night are now here, all wearing their bandanas over their faces as Cross explains what we’re doing today. We’re selling both of those trucks they were filling with guns last night to the Sinners. The real drop was today all along, so telling me it was supposed to be yesterday morning was probably just another little test for me. I passed it, I guess, since I’m standing here to see the drop through.
My phone vibrates in my breast pocket, and I’m glad I stayed in the back when Cross told us to assemble, because there’s no way I’m missing another call from Julie, no matter what. If someone was shooting at me, or if I was in the middle of a fistfight, I’d still answer the call.
“Julie,” I whisper into the phone as I pick up, turning away from the others to get a bit of privacy.
“No, it’s me,” my brother says and my chest shuts down. That’s the only way to describe the bitter disappointment that floods me. She’ll never call me again. I’m a fucking idiot for hoping it. “You have to come up with a better way to answer the phone, though,” he adds with a chuckle
“What do you want? I’m kinda busy right now.”
“You’re riding out? Don’t,” he says seriously. “I’ve been watching the Sinners closely like you said we should. Your deal with them’s not gonna go down well. A police chopper has been circling all morning, and their president and a couple of his guys have been meeting with some very strange men. We’ve been suspecting they’re about to make some sort of play for awhile now, and I think it’s gonna go down today. Be careful. Skip the meeting if you can. Tell your president about it, if you think he’ll listen.”
“Alright, fine, thanks,” I say and hang up, since Hawk is eyeing me suspiciously, and so is Cross.
I’m sure they have everything covered. They always do. I’m sure that’s why almost no one was here last night—they were probably all out making sure the deal goes smoothly today. I know the Devils, they don’t half ass anything, especially not if Cross is overseeing the job personally. So what the fuck do I do with this information?
“The meeting place isn’t ideal,” Cross says. “The Sinners chose it and in the end, it was easier to let them. It was a last minute change, so we haven’t been able to stake it out as well as I’d like to, but we do have a way out if shit goes south, and we’ll have good cover during the deal itself.” The sweat running down my back turns very cold. This, coupled with my brother’s warning doesn’t sound good, not good at all.
My phone vibrates again as he’s detailing that part of the plan.
“Not now, Buzz,” I whisper. “I’m dealing with it.”
“It’s me, Ink,” Julie says breathlessly and shrilly, like she’s very scared.
“I’m so glad you called, Juli
e, I’m really sorry about everything, and I’ll make it up to you as soon as I can, anyway I can, but—”
“That’s not why I’m calling,” she interrupts. “Some guys, some nasty bikers were just here and they said that after this morning they won’t have to worry about your old MC or your new one, and it sounded so scary. They were from something Sinners MC. Are you alright? Is your brother alright?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, he’s fine,” I say. “Where are you? Are you OK?”
Black anger is gripping my chest. How dare anyone threaten Julie? How dare they frighten her like this? I’ll find that guy personally, and make him very sorry he ever dared come near her. Very sorry.
“I’m at your mom’s,” she says.
“Stay there. Have her call my brother, tell him what you told me. They’ll send someone to watch you, tell him I said they have to,” I say.
“What’s going on, Ink?” Hawk asks harshly. I didn’t see him walk up. Cross stopped talking, and is just glaring at me now. “Who are you talking to?”
“I gotta go, Julie. Do like I told you,” I say and hang up, turning to Hawk.
“I have to talk to Cross. It’s…it’s urgent,” I say.
Hawk narrows his eyes at me, then waves Cross over. Tank follows him too, but no one speaks as we walk into the bunker.
“Talk,” Cross barks at me once we’re inside the dark storage space.
I take half a breath and begin. “So, first my brother called me. He says the Sinners might be up to something. He suspects that the drop today will involve the cops. He has no proof, but he sounded pretty sure about it. Then my girlfriend called. She had an unpleasant run-in with a couple of Sinners. They seemed sure they won’t have to worry about us or my brother’s MC after today. I think we should call the deal off. That’s what my brother suggested too.”
There was no easy or good way to tell him all this, but I dare to hope I did a pretty good job of it anyway.
Cross is staring at me with those unmoving black eyes of his, and I don’t dare look away.
“See, I told you the boy would prove useful,” Hawk says, and Cross turns to him sharply.
“What did you know of this?” he demands of him, but Hawk throws up his hands as though to defend himself.
“Nothing you don’t already know, Cross,” he says. “You also know I’ve had reservations about this deal with the Sinners from the start. I guess you have your answer now though. Someone among them’s been snitching.”
“My brother saw their president talking to some very strange guys, as he put it,” I say. “I figure he meant cops or maybe feds.”
Cross fixes his eyes on me, kinda making me wish I hadn’t spoken.
“Alright, you did good, Ink,” he says.
Then his phone rings and as he picks up, I can clearly hear the guy on the other end.
“Abort, Cross,” he says, talking loud and fast. “The fuckers brought the cops.”
“Get out of there, all of you,” Cross says. “Don’t come back here, they might be following you. If any of you get arrested, keep your mouths shut. We’ll get you out. I’ll call when I have orders.”
Then he hangs up, grazes me with another look, which I think carries a hint of thankfulness, before his eyes focus on Tank’s.
“We gotta change the plan,” he says. “It’s messier than I hoped it would be, but I think we found another snitch. Or at least his general whereabouts.”
How many snitches were there? I’m lucid enough not to ask that right now. This is not the time for my questions.
Tank tells me to go back outside, and follows me just long enough to shout, “Sit tight!” at the guys gathered there.
Then he goes back inside, and I can finally let the happiness that burst inside me as I heard Julie’s voice wash over me.
Her call doesn’t mean she’s forgiven me, but it might, and really, just hearing her voice has always been enough to make me happy.
* * *
My fingers have been itching to call Julie back since they told me to go wait outside the bunker. I haven’t done it yet, and it’s been awhile, an hour at least, but closer to two. I’d check, but I’m not sure I’d be able to stop myself from calling Julie if I actually held the phone. She’s safe, she’s with my mom, and I’m sure my brother sent a couple of guys to watch over them, guys loyal to my dad who won’t let anything happen to my mom or Julie.
My place is right here for now, proving my loyalty to the Devils and to Cross, who could’ve killed me, but chose to give me another chance instead. I have to prove I deserve it.
All of us gathered for the ride have found shade, but there’s no grumbling like there would’ve been among the guys in my uncle’s MC at being kept waiting by their president. They’re all loyal to Cross and they respect him, and they know he wouldn’t make them wait in the sun, if there wasn’t a damn good reason for it. But the day just keeps dragging on.
“Come in here, Ink,” Hawk calls me from the doorway into the bunker then walks back inside, not giving me time to ask any questions. Not that I should. But I’ve always been someone who does it anyway.
Cross, Tank and Ice are all waiting for us in silence, Cross giving me a very appraising look as I enter the room. The silence grows tense before he finally speaks, “I need as much information on the Sinners as you can give me.”
I nod, already piecing together things I could tell him, then realize this would go smoother if he asked the questions, and that he probably doesn’t want me to ramble on for hours.
“We never got along very well, but sometimes we did. I know things about them. Some of my distant cousins are members,” I say. “What do you want to know?”
“How likely is it that their president is talking to the cops?” Cross asks.
He says it with all the venomous disgust I feel. If there’s one inexcusable thing in our world, it’s that. But would I truly put it past old Griller, their president?
“He’s always been the kind of guy who makes alliances where it best suits him at the time. He likes to play the field and always goes where the honey is sweetest,” I say, but see them all cringe, and decide to stop with the flowery descriptions. “At one time or another, he’s allied himself with everyone from the Mexican Cartel to local businessmen.” I have to pause because of the anger tightening my chest at the memory of what he did for Julie’s father, what he almost did this morning to her and her mom. I already promised myself that shit won’t go unanswered. As soon as I get my leave from Cross, the Sinners are answering for it. “I wouldn’t put it past him to talk to the cops. If there was something in it for him, he’d do it. He’s not an honorable guy.”
Cross nods thoughtfully. “There are too many unknowns, and too many eyes might be on us and this deal to go after them in force right now,” he says. “But if they’re snitching and if it goes as deep and high as it looks like it does, we’ll need to wipe them out.”
A chill goes over me as he says it, because I know he’s talking about killing them all, erasing them like they never existed. Just like we erased the Spawns not that long ago. I nod anyway. I knew who and what the Devils were when I joined them. They’re killers, a club hired by other clubs to take people out, whole clubs sometimes, and their reputation is legend. Dealing in weapons is a new venture, killing is what they’re best at.
“What we’re gonna do is get one of our guys in,” he adds, staring at me, and my heart starts racing.
“Me?” I ask, sounding embarrassingly young and scared. I clear my throat. “They know me, they know my family, and they know I’m with you now. I didn’t make it a secret when I came back here. I doubt they’ll believe I want to join them, not after everything that’s happened.”
Cross shakes his head. “That’s not what I meant. But I was thinking of taking a page from your book.”
He pauses, but I keep my mouth shut before I say anything else dumb by jumping to the wrong conclusion.
“I’m talking about the way you beca
me one of us,” he explains. “The way you saved Ace’s life so we’d take you in without asking too many questions.”
“That’s why you think I helped Ace? To get close to you?” It makes so much more sense that he so strongly suspected me of being a snitch now. I really shouldn’t have disappeared the way I did. “I just decided it was a good day to die that day, and I wanted to go out doing something good. I didn’t think too hard about it beyond that.”
“Ahh, the tragedy of youth,” Tank says pensively. “Sometimes I don’t miss being young.”
Cross shoots him a glance that looks almost amused.
“You think that would work on Griller? Would he take in someone if they helped one of their own?” Cross asks me and I don’t have to think about this one at all.
“Yeah, if someone kept Precious and Honey from getting hurt, he’d never stop showing his gratitude,” I offer excitedly, really glad I can answer at least one of his questions well.
“Precious and Honey? What, a couple of whores?” Cross asks and I cringe, hoping my embarrassment isn’t too obvious on my face. I just can’t stop fucking up in front of this man.
“No, Griller’s two sons, Piston and Hammer. We call them Precious and Honey on account of them being a couple of weak cry babies and huge daddy’s boys,” I ramble on, trying to correct my mistake, but just digging in deeper. Now he probably thinks they’re little boys. What’s wrong with me? “They’re men, one of them’s my age, the other one a couple of years older. If you saved them from a mishap, you’d have Griller eating out of the palm of your hand.”
Too flowery and too much talking. I bet that’s what Cross is thinking, while he says nothing and just gazes at me with that unreadable black stare of his.
“It might work,” Hawk says, breaking the silence.
“Yeah, it’s the best we have for now,” Cross tells him. “Go get Ace and Scar. Tell the rest we’re not riding today.”
Hawk leaves and it’s a couple of more minutes of silence before Cross speaks again.