She shook her head. "I don't—"
"It's okay."
"How?" she asked, her eyes beginning to tear up. "How is any of this okay? What is this?"
"You just don't understand it. But I do. I know exactly what you're going through."
"Why can't I just be normal? When I was little, everyone got me Barbie dolls to play with. I would take them apart, all the limbs and heads. I would blame my brother. Nobody thought it was me." Tears began to run down her cheek now. "Then there was the neighbor’s bunny that got out. I just—"
"It's okay, Eden."
"I just want to be like everyone else. Why do I feel like this?"
"Because you're different. We are different."
"The soulless," she pointed to the gutted body on the ground. "It just sometimes doesn't feel—"
"I know. The darkness is growing."
"Darkness?"
"That feeling inside of you. The one that continues to bubble up inside, stewing until you can't take it anymore. It's what drives you to satiate the cravings you have."
"That's what you have? That's why you did what you did to Alan, to the others?"
He smiled. "I knew what Alan was. He wasn't so great at hiding it in the end. But no, I did what I did to Alan and the others because I wanted to help. I wanted to save you."
"Oh." She wiped her face.
"Besides, it was you who killed Alan."
She smiled. "Yeah, it was."
"I can help you now. I can teach you. You may not be exactly like everyone else, but nobody will know otherwise."
"You would do that?"
Dan thought about the promise he made to Cole. He thought about Greg mentoring him. "I will do that." He smiled at Eden, his new protege. For the first time since the apocalypse, he felt like he knew exactly where he was supposed to be again. He saw it in her eyes that she did, too.
32
Courtney
Courtney inhaled deeply as she looked at the gate in front of her. It had been a long time since she had been here. She didn't know if she could remember everything, but it still felt so vivid in her mind. She pulled the car off to the side of the path where a few bushes clustered together. Hopefully, if they came back, they wouldn't spot the car. She stepped out, leaving the keys in the ignition for a quick getaway out of the gate left open by whoever had left earlier. It was dark, but she remembered the spot. She had been walked out here, gagged and bound by rope. Guns were pointed at her head, and she watched as Dan, or Daniel, bargained for their lives.
Alan was a real piece of shit.
She spit on the ground and squeezed her gun tight. The stretch to the house was shorter than she remembered, but it was probably a lot easier to walk it without someone threatening your life. She looked at the front door that sat wide open and took another deep breath.
God, she was so fucking stupid.
She had no idea who or what was inside the house? She was hoping nobody was. After all, there were no vehicles out front. They had all just left. Perhaps they had just been scavengers, poking around looking for food. They wouldn't have found anything. Courtney knew that because they cleared it out when Dan had come back for them.
Still, she needed to see what was going on at the house. This place had never been anything but bad news, so something about others being here had left her with a lump in her throat. Something was so evil about the house.
She looked around and saw the blood. It was still crusted into the carpet, the walls splintered with bullet holes. But there was evidence of new life. Cans of now eaten food were on the floor, along with a smell of sweetness. Why would anyone stay in this house longer than it took to discover it was worthless? Why would they have a snack in such a nasty place?
Courtney worked her way through the house and down the hallway. It wasn't until she reached the room that her heart rate increased. She looked at the bed, the ropes still dangling from the bed frame. It was where they had tied her and Jennifer up. But it was also where Dan had untied her. He had freed her. He had taken care of her. She smiled, surprised at being able to turn such an awful place into a good memory.
She could hear voices outside and put her back against the wall in the hallway. She peaked out of the slightly open door and saw a man. She couldn't hear what he was saying, but she wondered why two vehicles would leave one man alone in the house.
She slowly pushed the door open, her gun raised. Why she was doing this alone, she wasn't sure. But she had to know who it was. She stepped outside and pointed the gun at the man.
"Just stay calm," she commanded.
Pax looked over, not raising his weapon. He looked confused to see her. "Courtney?" Pax asked.
She nodded, relieved to find it was Pax. Part of her was worried of what evil she could find at this house. Part of her even had thought about Alan's ghost, bloody and disgusting, still haunting the property. "Pax. Where's Vanessa and the others?"
"Why are you pointing your gun at me?" Pax asked.
"Where are they?"
"They left," Pax said. "They won't be coming back."
"Why not?"
"Do you need to keep pointing the gun at me?"
"I will feel better if I do," she said, stepping closer.
"Then you know, don't you?" he asked. The side of his mouth curled up into a half-smile, as if he was reflecting. "You know about Daniel. You know about me."
"I don't know shit about you. All I know is what you said back at the camp. You knew him, didn't you?"
Pax nodded. "I did. Briefly. But for as short of a time I knew him, I feel like I found out who he was a lot deeper than I've known anyone. Crazy, isn't it?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Let me tell you. There is no greater evil on this earth than a man like that."
Courtney swallowed hard. "No, you're wrong. You may think you know him, but you don't. He's changed."
"How can evil like that change? You have to be a human to be able to do that, something that has feelings and emotions. Daniel has none of those."
She shook her head. "He is different. You don't know what we have been through. You don't know what he did for us. How can a man come back for those, to put his own life at risk, just to save us? Someone who has no feelings, has no emotions, doesn't know right or wrong, that person wouldn't do those things."
"Maybe, but there are other reasons—"
"Stop talking." Courtney didn't want to hear any more of what Pax had to say. She knew who Daniel was before everything, but she knew who he was now. It wasn't going to be a smooth transition, but it was still a transition. Dan was a good man, he had to be. But Pax aimed to change all of that. He risked everything that made Dan who he was. He risked bringing Daniel back.
"I am going to kill him. Either he has to die, or I do."
"Then it's going to be you. He's a good man, and I love him. I won't let you take that away from me."
Pax smiled. "So that's how it's going to be then?"
Courtney kept her gun trained on Pax, not wanting to squeeze the trigger. But if she didn't, he could ruin everything. She had never killed anyone before. Was she willing to do it to keep Dan safe? To keep her people safe?
33
Pax
Pax watched as Courtney's hands trembled. He knew she was incapable of pulling the trigger. Courtney may be decent to her people, but she didn't have what it took when the shit hit the fan. He inhaled, filling his lungs with the cool night air and stood up.
"Don't come any closer," she demanded.
Her voice didn't waiver, Pax would give her that. But he knew her nerves would give. "Courtney, you know what has to happen. Daniel should not be on this earth."
"Why not? What gives you the right—"
"Because he killed my wife!" Pax spit. He was done playing this game. He looked over Courtney's shoulder and nodded.
Courtney spun around, seeing Mark behind her for the first time. Mark was already grabbing at her arm when the gun wen
t off, creating a cloud of dirt when the bullet hit the ground. She threw a firm hand against Mark's face, nailing him on the nose. Blood smeared across his face when he felt it with his hand. "Get your hands off me," she hissed.
Mark raised his hand up, but instead of hitting her, he grabbed her other wrist, pulling them both behind her. "I'm not going to hurt you. Just stop struggling," Mark said to her.
Pax smiled. Mark was right. Courtney was in no danger from them. Daniel, however, who knew. He could turn on her at any moment, just like he had turned on Pax. Courtney was just as likely to be his next target as anyone else. It just depended on when Daniel tired of the game. Pax was sure of it.
"I'm sorry it has to be this way, Courtney."
Mark tied Courtney's hands behind her back. "It doesn't have to be," she pleaded. "I don't know what happened to you before—"
"That's right, you don't. Mark doesn't know. Vanessa doesn't know. There's only two people in this world that know because there's only two people alive from that day. Me and Daniel."
"I'm so sorry," Courtney said, beginning to sob.
"Mark wasn't lying. We won't hurt you, as long as I get what I want."
Courtney shook her head. "I'm not going to help you. I'm not going to put Dan in danger like that."
"Stop calling him that!" Pax hissed, getting in her face. "I knew him by a different name, too, but he made sure I would know his true name. He made it a point. Daniel. So confident about it. So smug." Pax knew how he sounded, but just thinking about Daniel out there, alive and living well was driving him mad. "No, you don't have to help. Having you is enough."
"Stop this, just please, stop."
Pax reached out and grabbed Courtney's face and pulled her knife off her belt. She squirmed as he held the blade up to her face. He grabbed her hair and sliced off a few locks and handed them to Mark. "I really am sorry about all of this," Pax said to her. "But I want to meet him, face to face. Alone."
"He won't do it," she said, her face covered in tears and snot.
"But you love him, and I'm sure he loves you, right?" Pax did his best sarcastic impression of being in love. "At least he tells you that. It's not true, but he'll probably want to keep up appearances once the whole camp knows you're gone."
Courtney stopped talking. She was finally understanding that pleading with him was useless. He didn't need her to talk.
"Mark, you'll have to go. Tell them I have Courtney."
"Pax, I don't know if this is such a good idea. Look, I'm sorry for whatever happened—"
"I don't need you to be sorry, Mark. I need you to do what you're told." Pax was growing impatient.
Mark nodded. "I owe you a lot, Pax, so I'll do this for you."
"Good," Pax said. "You can go at first light in the morning." There was no point in getting the messenger killed because he couldn't figure out where he was going in the dark.
"I'm leaving tonight. I can't be around, whatever this is anymore." Mark waived his hand toward Courtney's bindings.
"It's not safe," Pax said, watching his last friendship crumble. "On foot in the dark—"
"I'll figure it out. I owe you. But don't expect me to come back. After this, that's it. I traded Guthrie for you for a reason, and now I'm not sure what that is anymore." He took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm sorry, Courtney, I really am."
Mark turned, heading in the house, and left Courtney with Pax. That was fine by Pax. People didn't have to understand where he was coming from or why he was doing it, he just had to make sure it got done. Daniel was going to die, or Pax was going to die trying to make it happen.
34
Dan
Dan had slept well. It was a strange thing, knowing he was going to be raising a future killer, but for some reason, it was as if he found his purpose in this life. It was more than sneaking around, satiating his lust for blood. It was more than surviving, being left alone to his own thoughts. It was more than keeping an entire camp safe from soulless monsters and other threats from the outside. This was making a difference. It was shaping a life, and he never felt more excited to get to work.
He rolled out of bed, alone. When he had gone to bed, Courtney wasn't there. He had a feeling she was mad at him for disappearing. He wasn't too worried about it, and actually was looking forward to talking to her about it. He had a legit reason this time, and he was hoping that she would be proud of him for taking care of Eden.
Of course, he wasn't an idiot. He wasn't going to tell her exactly what they had been doing out in the woods. She may have an idea of who Dan was before all of this, which itself was worrying. He hadn't let anyone so close that they could figure it out. But he knew that she only thought she knew who he was. She didn't know the whole truth. That was something Dan wasn't ready to share with her, and probably would never be ready to do that.
He opened the pantry, pulling out the powdered eggs and filled a kettle with water from a bottle. He would love to get running water going to the camp, but it was probably most important to start building shelters first. Even with the lack of knowledge on construction, it would be necessary when the snow came. The tents would get old after a while.
Dan smiled at himself. He was really starting to pull this domestic thing off. He fired up the stove and waited for the kettle to boil. Down the hall, he eyed the bed, empty and unmade. He wondered if Courtney had even come inside to check on him. Did she sleep in Jennifer's tent? Eden popped her head up from the couch.
"What are you making?"
"Eggs. Want some?" he asked.
"Since when do you make breakfast?"
He smiled.
"Since when do you smile? You look…happy."
"Is that so hard to imagine?"
"Did you kill someone?"
He laughed. Is that what she thought? That's what made him happy? Well, she wasn't wrong. But this was different.
"You are funny, you know that?" he said.
Their conversation was interrupted when the pounding on the door started. He opened it to find Jennifer. She was out of breath, and her face was filled with worry.
"Jennifer? What's wrong? Is Courtney okay?"
She was catching her breath, shaking her head. "It's Mark. He says he has to speak with you."
"Who is Mark?"
"From the group yesterday. Pax and Vanessa. I think it's about Courtney."
Dan left the kettle on the stove and followed Jennifer down the hill. He walked with her to the front of the camp at the gate. A man stood there, he seemed familiar, but Dan didn't have enough time to study everyone who had been inside the other day. Pax had puked, and then immediately left, causing a huge stir with everyone.
"You're Mark?" Dan asked the man on the outside of the gate.
Mark nodded. He was fairly tall and seemed like a strong fighter. Dan could tell by the way he held his shoulders up. "I am. I have a message from Pax. It's about Courtney."
Dan was confused. He wasn't sure what Courtney had anything to do with this man, but he waived his hand anyway. "Open the gate, come in."
Anthony was back at his post and opened the gate. Mark stepped in, checking over his shoulder and watching the gate close. "I'm sorry, Jennifer," Mark said.
"What does Courtney have to do with anything?" Dan asked.
"It's Pax. He has her."
"What do you mean has her?" Dan stepped up into the man. Mark was taller than Dan by a few inches.
"I mean, he took her. He isn't the same person anymore."
"Took her?"
"Tied her up."
Dan stood in Mark's face. "You had better start making some sense right now. Tell me everything. And I don't want to have to ask any more questions about it, do you understand me?"
Mark stared down into Dan's eyes. Dan knew exactly the message he was sending the man, and he felt that it had been received. "Pax says you need to meet him. He says if you don't, then he will kill her. He doesn't want to do it, but he will. Normally, I would say he was bluffing, but this, th
is is different. I believe him."
"Why would he do that?" Jennifer asked, panic in her voice.
"I don't know. He says something about Daniel killing his wife—"
Dan grabbed Mark by the shirt and pushed him into the gate. "I didn't kill anyone's wife. Do you understand me?"
Dan had killed a lot of people, before and after the apocalypse. But killing someone's wife? That was not him. Before the apocalypse, he would never target a woman like that. He made sure and did his homework. He made sure he took only loners. Only the dregs of society nobody would miss. Wives, husbands, families, they all had people who would miss them.
"I'm only saying what he told me, okay? He said that Daniel—"
Dan heard his name again, but it wasn't the name he had told the others. He was sure of it. Not many people called him Daniel anymore, and if they did, they didn't end up living to talk about it. Dan felt the heat rise up from within him, and he grabbed Mark's throat. "Tell me where she is."
Mark's face went red. Dan kept his grip tight, and the man tried gasping for air, but couldn't. Dan threw the first punch on Mark's face. He pinned him hard against the gate and delivered blow after blow to Mark's face. Dan didn't know what came over him. Usually, he could think things rationally, but this was unexpected. Pax, the man he saw for a few moments, had taken something from him.
Mark fell to the ground. He struggled to keep Dan off him, but he didn't take any offensive approach, instead, trying to keep the punches to a minimum.
Jennifer grabbed Dan's arm. "He can't talk. Let him go. You're going to kill him."
Dan backed off, and Mark gasped for air. His face was battered and bloody. Jennifer knelt down next to him and put a cloth against his face to absorb the blood. "He's at the death house," Mark finally managed to cough out.
Dan didn't need to be told what house he meant. He had visited it often on his excursions outside of the camp. That place was a turning point for him. He made a decision to be around people, to help them, to protect them. Sometimes when he felt the most lost, he found himself back at the house, looking across the bloodstained walls and floors, trying to grasp any bit of what made him change his mind. Of what made him want to be better.
Exodus: Soulless Wanderers Book 3 (A Post-Apocalyptic Zombie Thriller) Page 16