‘Oh, that’s the tale is it?’ said the Viscount. ‘Well, it won’t fadge! Didn’t think to tell me that, did you? Why not? That’s what I want to know! Why not?’
‘Because you were a dashed sight too ripe to attend to a word anyone said to you!’ replied Mr Hethersett, with brutal frankness.
‘And in any event there was no need for you to behave in such an outrageous way, Dy,’ interpolated Nell severely. ‘Even if it had been Felix’s house, which it might as well have been, because I had the intention of calling on him, on account of my not knowing the number of Mr Allandale’s. Only, by good fortune, he chanced to be coming out just as I was paying off the hack.’
‘Yes, you have that mighty pat, haven’t you, my girl?’ said Dysart. ‘And I daresay you think it makes all right! Well, it don’t! Pretty conduct in a female of quality to be paying calls on every loose fish on the town, I must say! In a common hack, too! Well, that may suit your notions of propriety, Cardross, but it don’t suit mine, and so I’ll have you know!’
‘Dy, how can you be so absurd?’ protested Nell. ‘No one could possibly think poor Mr Allandale a loose fish!’
‘Dash, it, cousin!’ exclaimed Mr Hethersett indignantly.
‘My dear Dysart, do let me assure you that I honour you for such feelings, and enter into all your ideas on the subject!’ said Cardross. ‘You may safely leave the matter in my hands.’
‘That’s just what it seems to me I can’t do!’ retorted Dysart. ‘Yes, and that puts me in mind of another thing I have to say to you! Why the devil don’t you take better care of Nell? Did you get her out of a silly scrape? No, you didn’t! I did! All you did was to put it into her head you thought she only married you for your fortune, when anyone but a gudgeon must have known she’s too big a pea-goose to have enough sense to do anything of the kind. So when she finds herself under the hatches she daren’t tell you: I have to pull her out of the River Tick! A pretty time I had of it! Why, I even had that fellow Hethersett hinting it was my fault she was being dunned for some curst dress or other!’
Mr Hethersett blushed. ‘Misapprehension! Told you so at the time!’
‘Well, it was my fault!’ said Dysart furiously. ‘I daresay if I hadn’t borrowed three centuries from her you wouldn’t have had to snatch her off Jew King’s doorstep, but how was I to know it would put her in the basket? Besides, I’ve paid it back to her!’
‘Nell, my poor child, how could you think – Did I frighten you as much as that?’ Cardross said remorsefully.
‘No, no, it was all my folly!’ she said quickly. ‘I thought that shocking bill from Lavalle had been with those others, only it wasn’t, and when she sent it me again it seemed as though I couldn’t tell you! Oh, Dysart, pray don’t say any more!’
‘Yes, that’s all very well, but I am going to say something more! I’ve a pretty fair notion of what your opinion of me is, Cardross, but I’ll have you know that it was not I who prigged that damned necklace of yours!’
‘Eh?’ ejaculated Mr Hethersett, startled.
‘You have really no need to tell me that, Dysart,’ Cardross replied, his colour heightened, and his eyes fixed on Nell’s face.
‘Well, it’s what my own sister thought!’ said Dysart bitterly.
‘Good God, Giles, you’ve never lost the necklace?’ Mr Hethersett demanded.
‘No,’ answered Cardross, holding Nell’s hand rather tightly. ‘It isn’t lost. If it were, I should not imagine for one instant that you had taken it, Dysart.’
‘Much obliged to you!’
‘I must say, that’s the outside of enough,’ observed Mr Hethersett. ‘Whatever made you take a notion like that into your head, cousin?’
‘It was very, very foolish of me!’
‘Well, I call it a dashed insult!’ declared the Viscount.
‘Yes, Dysart: so do I!’ said Cardross, raising Nell’s hand to his lips. ‘I hope you have begged his forgiveness, Nell – as I beg for yours!’
‘Oh, Giles, pray hush!’
The Viscount, having frowned over this for a moment, exclaimed: ‘What, did you think she had sold the thing? If that don’t give you your own again, Nell!’
‘That’s all very well,’ objected Mr Hethersett, ‘but you said it wasn’t lost, Cardross!’
‘It was lost, but it has been restored to me. I suppose I now know who stole it – and should have known at the outset! Not your sister, Dysart, but mine! Was that it, Nell?’
‘Well, yes, it was,’ she confessed. ‘But you mustn’t be out of reason cross with her, because indeed I believe she would never have thought of doing such a thing, only that Dysart put it into her head!’
‘What?’ exclaimed Dysart. ‘No, by God, that’s too much! I never did so!’
‘Yes, Dy, you did! Oh, I don’t mean to say that it was what you intended, but I have been thinking about it, and I am persuaded it was your holding me up that night, with Mr Fancot – good gracious, where is Mr Fancot?’
‘Yes, by Jove! Where is he?’ exclaimed Dysart.
‘No need to worry about him,’ said Mr Hethersett, nodding to where Mr Fancot was peacefully sleeping in a large wing-chair. ‘Wouldn’t have let you all talk in that dashed improper way if he’d been listening to you!’
‘If ever I knew anyone like Corny for dropping asleep the instant he gets a trifle above oar!’ remarked the Viscount, eyeing his friend with tolerant affection.
‘Don’t wake him, I beg of you!’ said Cardross. ‘What, my darling, had that hold-up to do with this affair?’
‘Yes, what?’ demanded Dysart.
‘Well, you see, Giles, when I wouldn’t sell any of the jewels you gave me – and I still think it would have been the most odiously deceiving thing to have done, Dy, however tiresome you may have thought it of me! – Dysart hit upon the notion of pretending to be a highwayman, and taking them from me in that way. Only I recognized him, so it came to nothing. But the thing was that Letty thought it had been a famous notion, and I am very sure that that was what put it into her head to sell the Cardross necklace!’ She broke off, as a thought occurred to her. ‘Good heavens, Letty! What are we about, wasting time in this way? Cardross, we discovered, Felix and I, that they set out with only a pair of horses! It is true that they have several hours start of you, but Felix seems to think that you might easily overtake them before they can reach the Border!’
‘I daresay I might – if I were to make the attempt,’ he agreed.
‘But won’t you?’ she asked anxiously.
‘No. I have had my fill of driving this evening! Allandale is welcome to her!’
‘Yes, but to be married in such a way! Giles, only think what the consequences must be! I shouldn’t wonder at it if it ruined him as well as her! Indeed, I was never more astonished in my life than when I learned he had yielded to her persuasions! I had not thought it of him! And for you, too, how disagreeable must it be! Oh, do, pray, go after them, and bring her back!’
‘Dashed if I would!’ remarked the Viscount.
‘Giles!’
He laid his hand over the small one insistently tugging at the lapel of his coat. ‘Hush, my love! This is where we must be guided by the judgement of that arbiter of all matters of taste and ton. Well, Felix?’
Mr Hethersett, impervious to the quizzical look in his cousin’s eye, took snuff in a meditative way, his brow creased. ‘Don’t fancy it will make much difference,’ he pronounced at last, restoring the box to his pocket, and flicking a few grains of King’s Martinique from his sleeve. ‘Bound to be a deal of gossip whatever you do. Can’t suppose it won’t leak out, if you go careering off after Letty. Devilish nasty scene, too, if you force her to come home. Seems to have gone into strong hysterics when Allandale tried to get her to do that. Not the sort of thing I should care for.’
‘N
o, my God!’ said Cardross, with feeling.
‘Better make the best of it,’ decided Mr Hethersett. ‘Think I’ll be going now. Daresay, you’ll like to be left alone.’
Nell held out her hand to him. ‘I have quite ruined your evening!’ she said contritely. ‘Indeed, I am sorry, and so very much obliged to you!’
‘No, no, happy to have been of service!’ he replied, bowing with exquisite grace over her hand. ‘Besides, no such thing! Only on my way to White’s, before taking a look-in at the Seftons’ ball. Night’s young yet!’
‘Yes, by Jove, so it is!’ said the Viscount. ‘Here, Corny, wake up!’
Mr Fancot, urgently shaken, opened his eyes, smiled upon the company, and began to hum softly and unmelodiously to himself.
‘Now, for the lord’s sake, Corny, you ain’t as dead-beat as that!’ said the Viscount. ‘Don’t start singing again, because you know dashed well you can’t do it!’
‘It’s my birthday,’ stated Mr Fancot.
‘Well, that’s got nothing to say to anything! Come along! Time we were going!’
‘I can sing on my birthday,’ said Mr Fancot. ‘I can sing Sing old rose, and burn the bellows, and I can sing your song, and I can –’
‘Chip-chow, cherry-chow?’ interrupted Mr Hethersett.
‘That’s the one!’ nodded Mr Fancot, pleased. ‘You know it too?’
‘I’ve heard it,’ replied Mr Hethersett, rather grimly. He met the Viscount’s challenging gaze, and held it. ‘You’ve called me a few names this night, Dysart! Now I’ll take leave to tell you that you’re the biggest cod’s head I ever knew!’
‘What the devil do you mean by that?’ the Viscount shot at him, flushing.
‘You know dashed well what I mean! You learned that song from Cripplegate!’
‘What if I did?’ demanded Dysart.
‘I’ll tell you that, Dysart,’ interposed Cardross. He nodded dismissal to his cousin, and looked Dysart over. ‘Beggars’ Club, eh? Well, I thought as much! A Hussar regiment should suit you: it would be a pity to waste your horsemanship. Well?’
‘Oh, to hell with you! I’ve told you I can’t!’ Dysart said.
‘You’ll find you can, I promise you.’
‘By Jove, what wouldn’t I give to be out there!’ Dysart said impulsively.
‘You going to join, Dy?’ enquired Mr Fancot, who had been following this conversation with great interest. ‘That’s a devilish good notion! Let’s go and join at once!’
‘Well, we can’t,’ said Dysart shortly. ‘Besides, you don’t want to join!’
‘Yes, I do,’ asserted Mr Fancot. ‘Can’t think why I didn’t hit on the notion before! There’s nothing left to do here, except walk backwards to Brighton, and I don’t fancy that above half.’
‘Who shall blame you?’ agreed Cardross, shepherding him kindly but firmly into the hall.
‘That’s just it,’ explained Mr Fancot. ‘I may have to. Never refused a challenge in my life, and I’ve a notion Willy means to try me with that one. You know Willy?’
‘No, but I should lose no time in leaving the country.’
‘You’re a sensible man,’ said Mr Fancot warmly. ‘Very happy to have met you!’
‘The pleasure has been all mine,’ said Cardross, putting his hat into his hand, and opening the front door.
‘Not at all, not at all!’ responded Mr Fancot, ambling down the steps.
‘Lord, if ever I saw him in such prime and plummy order before!’ said the Viscount. ‘Now I shall have him going all over town, trying to find the Horse Guards!’ He picked up this own hat, and hesitated, looking at Cardross.
Cardross smiled. ‘You’re a damned fool, Dysart, and a damned nuisance besides – but too good a man to be wasting your talents cutting up cork-brained larks! Don’t tease yourself about your mother! I’ll make all right in that quarter.’
He held out his hand, and the Viscount took it, grinning ruefully. ‘I wish you might!’
‘I will.’
‘Devilish good of you. Got something else to say to you, and it ain’t easy. From what Nell told me, when she found herself in that fix – Well, the long and the short of it is she didn’t know till I told her that you were in love with her. Thought you’d married her as a matter of convenience, and had too much civility to let her see it.’ He gave a crack of laughter. ‘Convenience! Lord, what a silly little greenhead!’
‘Are you serious?’ Cardross demanded. ‘It isn’t possible!’
‘Ain’t it? You don’t know my mother, Cardross!’ said Dysart. ‘Good-night! Must go after Corny!’
He went down the steps, waved, and went striding off. Cardross stood looking after him for a moment, and was just about to go back into the house when a post-chaise swept round the angle of the square, and drew up below him. From this vehicle Mr Allandale jumped down, and turned to give his supporting hand to his betrothed.
‘But what a charming surprise!’ said Cardross blandly.
Fifteen
Mr Allandale, having paid off the postilion, took his love in one hand and Mr Thorne’s cloak-bag in the other, and trod up the steps to the front-door. Here he paused and looked Cardross squarely in the face. ‘I have brought her home, sir,’ he said.
‘I see you have,’ replied Cardross. ‘Most understandable, I am sure!’
Letty cast a scared, resentful look up at him, but said nothing.
‘An explanation is due to you,’ said Mr Allandale. ‘But first I must beg of you most earnestly that whatever wrath you may feel – and I do not deny that it is a just wrath! – you will visit upon my head alone!’
‘I fail entirely to see why I should visit my wrath on your head, but if you suppose me to be contemplating a violent revenge on Letty do let me hasten to reassure you!’
‘You see, love?’ said Mr Allandale tenderly.
‘I’m n-not afraid of Cardross!’ said Letty, in a small, resentful voice.
‘It would have been very much better for you, and all of us if you had been,’ said Cardross. ‘Come into the house, but leave your heroism outside!’ He led the way into the hall, and saw Farley standing in the middle of it with his mouth at half-cock. ‘Just so!’ he remarked.
‘I heard a carriage drive up, my lord!’ explained the butler, staring at Letty.
‘Yes, Lady Letty decided after all she would not spend the night in Bryanston Square,’ said Cardross ironically. ‘You may come into the book-room, both of you.’ He walked to the door and held it wide. Across the room Nell’s eyes met his, a startled question in them. ‘Giles, I thought I heard –’
‘You did, my love. Can you conceive of anything more delightful? Dear little Letty is once more in our midst!’
‘I hate you!’ said Letty passionately, and burst into tears.
‘Letty! Oh, Letty, thank God you’ve come back!’ cried Nell, hurrying forward.
‘I wish I hadn’t! I wish I were dead!’ sobbed Letty.
‘No, no, you mustn’t say that!’ Nell told her, putting an arm round her, and stretching out her other hand to Mr Allandale. ‘Mr Allandale, how glad I am that I wasn’t mistaken in you! I couldn’t think it possible that you would do such an improper thing as to elope with her!’
He kissed her hand punctiliously, and said: ‘I wish that I could find the words to express to your ladyship the sense of obligation I feel. But when I consider the circumstances, and what cause you have had (the whole truth not being known to you) to think me infamous, I am rendered tongue-tied.’
‘Not noticeably,’ said Cardross dryly.
Nell bit her lip, and drew Letty to the sofa. ‘Come, love, sit down beside me, and try to compose yourself!’ She saw how anxiously Mr Allandale was watching Letty, and smiled at him reassuringly. ‘She will be better directly: don’t pay any
heed to her!’
He looked grateful, but turned with a resolute air to Cardross. ‘Sir, I have a duty to discharge. I speak on behalf of Lady Letitia, and I shall be brief, merely imploring you to remember that she is young, and in the greatest distress, and has thrown herself upon your mercy. What I have to disclose to you cannot but shock you deeply. You do not yet know the worst, and it is my painful duty to inform you of it.’
‘Oh, yes, I do!’ replied Cardross. ‘You are about to tell me that Letty stole the Cardross necklace.’
Letty raised her head from Nell’s shoulder. ‘It wasn’t stealing! It wasn’t!’ she declared. ‘It didn’t belong to Nell, and she didn’t even like it! It belonged to the family, and so it was just as much mine as yours, Giles!’
‘My love, you are forgetting that I have several times explained to you that that is not so,’ said Mr Allandale gravely.
‘Yes, but it is! And anyway Giles won’t let me have my fortune, so what else could I do?’
Mr Allandale looked pained, but apparently decided that the moment was not ripe for argument. Drawing a package from his pocket, he laid it on the table before him, and said: ‘That is the sum the necklace realized, my lord. Had I been able, I would have done my utmost to recover the necklace itself. It was not in my power, however: I have not been at liberty to repair to the jeweller to whom it was sold. I will furnish your lordship with –’
‘Let me set your mind at rest!’ Cardross interrupted. ‘The jeweller brought it to me earlier today, and I have already redeemed it.’
‘Sir, you have removed a weight from my mind!’ said Mr Allandale earnestly.
‘Yes, I expect I have,’ agreed Cardross. ‘I wish you will satisfy the curiosity in mine! Was it the discovery that your bride had stolen the necklace which made you abandon your flight to Gretna Green? At what stage did you turn back?’
‘There was no such flight, my lord.’
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