I haven’t been able to stop picturing him with other women since the jerk-off brought it up. The same thing is on constant repeat—him taking them rough and wild like he took me. As much as I despise myself for it, it makes me jealous.
What the hell is wrong with you? He’s a Grade-A dick to you and here you are wanting more.
I don’t even like the guy, regardless of how it would appear. In fact, I hate him. He infuriates me to no end, yet I can’t help but to be physically attracted to him. Talk about being messed up.
I stop and bend over to catch my breath when my phone vibrates with a call coming through for the second time. It’s likely Veronica. She should be home anytime now, so I pull out my phone and answer it without checking to see who it is.
“You’re home already?” I ask, out of breath. “How was the trip?”
“What the fuck trip are you talking about?” Jensen’s deep voice questions, surprising me. “Where are you?”
I let out a sarcastic laugh and stand up straight. “Why are you calling me, Jensen? Don’t you have some other girl to use your body on? I wouldn’t want to keep you from that.”
“Someone a little jealous?” The confidence in his voice has me wanting to punch him through the phone.
“That’s never happening.” I walk the bike path that leads back to my car. “Now, what do you want? I’m a little busy.”
“Doing what?” he questions stiffly. “Why are you out of breath?”
“I just got done… exercising. Had to let off a little steam,” I tease. “You know how that is.”
“I do,” he growls. “Just stay away from Baker Street. I’ve got shit to do. Don’t be fucking late tomorrow. It’s going to be a long night.”
“What’s on Baker—”
The phone goes silent before I can finish asking him why the hell I need to stay away from Baker Street. When I drove by earlier there was some kind of Flea Market thing going on with a bunch of vendor tables set up. I didn’t have any plans to drop by and do some shopping myself, but now I’m curious.
Shoving my phone back into my pocket, I pick up speed and jog back to my car. After downing an entire bottle of water and taking a moment to catch my breath, I take off toward Baker Street, ignoring Jensen’s order.
He has no right to order me to do anything, and he knows it, yet he feels the need to do so anyway. Well, maybe he should see what it looks like for someone to disobey.
It takes a few minutes to find somewhere to park, but once I do, I get out and walk around, browsing a few of the tables but not stopping to talk to any of the vendors.
I don’t understand why the hell he’d want me to stay away from this thing, but after walking by a few more tables, I have my answer.
A wave of nausea hits me when I spot Douglas and Susan in the baby area, shopping for their unborn child.
I don’t want to feel anything for Douglas anymore, but seeing them together shopping for their future baby makes everything that much more real. The man I’ve been in love with for the past five years is about to have a baby with another woman. One he conceived while still my boyfriend.
Swallowing, I back up slowly, unable to pull my eyes away as Susan holds up a little white onesie that says ‘Little blessing’ across the front.
Douglas might’ve told me he wasn’t happy with Susan, but from the way his eyes light up when he takes it from her, it’s clear he’s not nearly as unhappy with her as he made it seem.
My chest tightens with anger as I quickly turn around to get away from them as fast as I possibly can. I don’t think I could handle them spotting me here right now. I can’t face them, because truthfully, I want to slap a pregnant woman across the face, and that’s something I never thought I’d have the urge to do.
As soon as I get to my car, I grip the wheel and squeeze it like I’m trying to break it. My heart is pounding so hard it’s causing my body to jerk each time it slams against my ribcage.
Jensen must’ve saw them when he drove by, and as much as I want to continue hating him for last night, the fact that he cared enough to warn me softens a spot in my broken heart for him.
It proves that he’s not as heartless and uncaring as I originally thought. Underneath all the assholeness there could be a guy with a heart after all.
I can’t help but wonder if he’ll give me a little glimpse into that side of him if I’m around long enough. Would I like that side of him?
“No,” I say to myself. “Absolutely not. Nope. No way.” I shake my head and drive off. Veronica will be home soon and she promised me a girls’ night to get away from everything weighing me down right now.
I need to shower and block my mind from any thoughts of Douglas or Jensen. This night is about me and Veronica and we’re going to have a good time.
No talking about Jensen and how he came over during a time I was vulnerable. Like a fool, I let him into the house and into my temporary bed—one that he almost broke, might I add.
And certainly no talking about my ex who got another girl pregnant. I can’t believe he’s out shopping in public for baby stuff right now when someone from the school could’ve spotted them.
* * *
WE’VE BEEN AT SOCIAL FOR an hour now and my best friend has been looking at me from across the table as if she’s trying to figure me out.
I don’t know why, but it makes me nervous. Scratch that. I do know why. She knows everything about me, and soon she’ll know I slept with Jensen.
“So…” Veronica swirls her finger over the rim of her wine glass, trying her best to keep a straight face. “You going to tell me why I found my favorite candle under the table today?”
I shrug and take a quick sip of my wine. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Maybe you knocked it down before you left and forgot.”
“Did I also knock the pictures on my wall crooked?” She grins above her glass, before taking a swig, followed by a second one. “I mean, I could guess what happened if you want me to. We both know I’m pretty good with guessing games.”
“No.” My heart speeds up and I quickly look away from my drink, trying my best to not look panicked. “I’d rather you not. Can we just enjoy a girls’ night out together with no drama? It’s been a while, and I need this right now.”
“Sure.” She grins. “But I’ll find out sooner or later. I always do.”
That’s not a lie.
“How was spending the weekend with Peter’s parents? His mom still as bossy as she used to be?”
She rolls her eyes. “You have no idea. I’ve never met a bossier woman in my entire life. Peter is lucky I love him as much as I do or I’d give that woman a piece of my mind. She actually made me change my shirt before we went out to dinner last night, because she said black is depressing. I felt like telling her that being around her is depressing.”
We both laugh, and I suddenly feel a little better that I don’t have a bitchy mother-in-law to deal with twice a year at least. I’m not sure I could handle it as well as Veronica does. Mine would’ve already gotten a piece of my mind in the first month of marriage.
“Are you okay, Cami?” she suddenly asks once our laughter dies down. “Honestly. I know what you’re going through with Douglas is hard. You can tell me.”
“Veronica…” I down my wine, on edge now that she’s brought up Douglas. “I’ll be fine. To be honest, I think I’m more pissed that he made me look like a fool and broke my trust. I keep wondering if I would’ve been hurt at all had he just done the right thing and broke things off first. I would’ve felt lonely for a bit, yes, after being with Douglas for so long, but I think I would’ve been okay after a few months, maybe less. I don’t know.” I exhale and look up to meet Veronica’s concerned eyes. “But now everyone will know Douglas cheated on me and I’ll look like the idiot that believed his lies. People at school will start talking soon and looking at me with pity. Everyone will be awkward around me. I think I hate that the most.”
“I get that. I’d fe
el the exact same way.” She nods at the cocktail waitress when she walks by to see if we need refills. “Yes, please. Actually, bring the rest of the bottle. We’ll need it.”
“We?” I question.
“Yes. We. I can’t get Peter’s mother’s annoying, bitchy voice out of my head. She’s so fucking condescending. I’d love to shove this bottle of wine where the sun doesn’t shine. Just don’t tell Peter that.”
“I won’t tell Peter if you drop the whole candle and crooked pictures thing,” I say, hopeful.
“That’s not happening, Cami.” She reaches over with a huge grin on her face and refills my glass. “Drink up, so you’ll spill your guts to me and give me all the juicy details. I needed them like yesterday.”
“You know me too well.” I lift the glass of wine. “That’s exactly why this will be my last drink.”
“Oh, come on!” Veronica practically screams. “It was Jensen, wasn’t it? You fucked my landlord in my house.”
“Shh! Keep it down, Veronica.” Embarrassment hits me when I notice a few people looking our way, being nosey. “I never said that.”
“You didn’t have to,” she practically sings. “The smell of his cologne is still lingering in the doorway of your bedroom. I’ve known Jensen for years and he’s always worn that same scent. You let him fuck you good and hard, didn’t you?”
I get hot at the memory of just how good and hard he actually did fuck me. I might even be a little wet right now, and I don’t mean my mouth from the wine currently filling it.
“Is that sweat I see forming on your forehead, Cami?” She runs her tongue over her lips and grins. “He was that good, huh?”
“God, Veronica. You’re really going to make me come out and say it?”
“Say it,” she pushes. “He had to be a hundred times better than Douglas. I’ve heard so many stories about Jensen’s body. Let me tell you. I just want to know if they’re true. As my friend, I expect you to give me that answer.”
“I’m cringing inside as I say this, Veronica. You have no idea how much I’d like to tell you that the rumors are false, but holy shit, he was better than good. He was fantastic.” I take a drink of my wine and sigh. “I can still feel him inside of me. He made sure I’d feel him for days. I hate him for it too.”
Her eyes go big at my confession and she appears to be sweating herself. “Well, damn. No wonder an asshole like him still manages to get laid. It definitely has nothing to do with his personality.” Or that mouth… “He’s not nice to anyone anymore.”
“Anymore?” I question, now curious to learn more. “He used to be nice?”
“You could say that. But hey…” She shrugs. “Things change and so do we, right? Sometimes we can’t help it.”
“I guess, but I’d like to think we can help it if we want to badly enough.”
“Maybe he doesn’t want to, Cami.”
She says nothing else on the matter. We change the subject, and for that I’m thankful. I already spend too much time thinking about Jensen. I don’t need another reason to have him in the back of my mind. He is who is because he chose to be that way. I don’t see him changing anytime soon, and even if he does, he’s nothing to me but my landlord.
The one I’ll be fantasizing about for a long time to come. Except in my fantasy he’ll keep his mouth shut and not ruin what his body does to me. I think I’ll stick to that version of him from now on.
I WAS ON MY WAY to an appointment for gutters earlier when I got stuck in traffic and spotted Douchebag Douglas out with Psycho Susan at the annual Flea Market. I didn’t think much of it at first. Figured Douglas decided to settle for Susan for now until he could come up with a way to get Cami to change her mind and take him back. Then I saw what they were shopping for. I realized then there’s no chance in hell Cami will take him back, and he knows it.
Susan had an armful of baby stuff, and to me, it didn’t seem like they gave a shit who saw it either.
That explains why Cami finally broke last night when I showed up at her door, hot and ready to fuck everybody except me out of her thoughts. She’s been fighting it long enough I knew there had to be a reason.
The real reason makes me feel guilty for the way I acted at the end of the night. It was more reflex than anything. Old habits die hard. I may not owe Cami anything and she may not be anything to me, but that has to hurt.
Even if she’s over the jerk—I hope to hell she is—the whole damn town will be in her business talking about how her boyfriend got another woman pregnant. It’ll drag her down, as if she wasn’t enough to keep him satisfied. After getting a taste of her, I know that’s far from the truth.
I know more than anyone how small-town talk can fuck a person’s life up and make them see themselves differently. Cami doesn’t deserve that shit. Maybe I did, but she definitely doesn’t.
Running my hand through my hair in frustration, I step up to the bar and look over at Ben as he steps up beside me. The stupid grin on his face when he looks at me confirms he has something to say about the other night when I stopped Cami from getting on the back of his motorcycle. I bet he’s been dying to question me all night, but this is the first chance he’s caught me away from the other guys.
“Say it, motherfucker,” I say stiffly, nodding at the bartender as she sets two beers down in front of us and offers a flirty wink.
“Who is she?” he asks, before taking a drink from his bottle. He tilts his head, waiting for an answer that doesn’t come. “Oh, come on, brother. The way you almost tore my head off confirms she must mean something to you. You never get that way over a girl. What’s the deal with her?”
“It’s none of your damn business,” I growl, getting in his face to make it as clear as possible. “All you need to know is to stay the fuck away from her. That’s not a threat either.” My eyes still on his, I tilt back my beer and walk away before his bearded ass pisses me off even more.
He’s a cocky son of a bitch. I’m sure he’s thinking of all the ways she wanted him to take her home and fuck her that night. I know it’s bullshit.
If this wasn’t a work party for my guys where I’m doing my best to get through this shit without a fight breaking out, I’d tell him all the ways I did fuck her.
Dirty.
Rough.
Deep.
And she loved every second of me inside her. He doesn’t have to know about the part where I opened my mouth like an ass and she kicked me out.
I get ready to head back to the private room where the rest of my employees are when I spot Cami out of the corner of my eye, in a booth, chugging back a glass of wine as if she can’t drink it fast enough. I lean against the wall and watch her for moment, picking up on how tense she is.
She looks like she’s on edge, and that tells me she didn’t fucking listen to me about staying away from Baker Street. “Son of a bitch.”
Instead of going back to the party like I should do, I find myself standing over Cami, growling down at her. “You didn’t fucking listen to me. Why?”
She looks up, eyes wide, as if she’s surprised to see me here. Without saying a word, she reaches for the bottle of wine in front of her and pours her glass to the rim. “Not now, Jensen. I can’t see you right now, so you need to walk away.”
My tongue is on the verge of asking why she can’t see me, but I’m too stuck on the fact that she went to Baker Street. “Why the fuck didn’t you listen?” I grab the bottle from her and slam it down on the table, causing her to look up at me.
Angry eyes locked on determined ones, it’s a silent staring contest, both of us taking each other in like we want to fuck the shit out of each other right here and now.
Veronica stands up and clears her throat. “I’m going to use the restroom. Looks like you two need a moment alone to… well, I’m not quite sure. But it’s a little too hot in this area for me. I’m leaving.”
“Wait! Veronica…” Cami stands up like she’s going to follow her friend, but I place my hand on her should
er and guide her back down on her ass. She releases a tense breath and sits back. “I have to use the bathroom, Jensen.”
“No you don’t.” I place my beer on the table and move into her personal space. “I told you to stay away from Baker Street and you went there anyway. Why?” I ask again.
She stands up and pushes me out of her space just like she did to get me off of her post-orgasm last night. Swallowing as she looks down at my hard chest beneath her fingers, I know she’s remembering it too. “Because I don’t take orders from anyone, Jensen. Including you. You can’t just boss everyone around and expect them to obey.”
“Most do,” I admit stiffly, as she removes her hands. “It was for your benefit. I don’t know why you’re so pissed at me. I was trying to do you a favor, Cami.”
“I’m surprised you know what that even is,” she mutters, taking a step back to put more space between us. “You don’t seem like the type to do anyone a favor.”
I shake my head and take a swig of my beer. “Then you don’t know me at all. I do lots of fucking favors. Some you’ll never begin to understand. Have a good fucking night.”
Before I lose my shit and get too deep into thoughts of the past, I walk away. I have to, because I can’t do this shit tonight. I have over fifty employees to entertain. Remembering the past will only poison my thoughts and fuck me up.
* * *
AN HOUR LATER, THE PARTY spreads out into the main area where there are pool tables and darts for entertainment. The guys have been fed and I gifted each three drinks on my tab, so the rest of the night is on them. They’re no longer my responsibility.
Setting my empty bottle down, I nod to the cute bartender to get her attention. “Close my tab out.” I toss my debit card down. “Put it on this card.”
“Sure thing, Jensen.” She offers me a seductive smile, backing away slowly as she looks me over, before finally turning away to run my card.
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