“Fine. Help me finish the living room,” I say, brushing past her to pick up my paintbrush and get back to work. “I’ll finish the rest and you can start moving in on Friday.”
“And the master bedroom?” she questions, sounding a bit relieved.
“It’s already done. I painted it the last time you didn’t show up to help.”
She doesn’t have a comeback to that. Good. Because I can’t take another peep from her mouth right now without needing to fuck my anger out and teach her another lesson.
* * *
I WAS SURPRISED WHEN JENSEN said painting the living room was the last thing I needed to help him with. A part of me was relieved, while another smaller part—the irrational part—was disappointed that we won’t have a reason to be alone anymore.
It’s ridiculous. When I’m with him, I can’t stand the guy. But when I’m not, he’s all I can think about.
“Hey, babe.” Veronica plops down on the couch beside me and reaches for the TV remote since I’ve basically been staring at the Netflix home screen. “How was your day?”
“Do you really want to know?” I exhale and sit up straight when she nods. “Well, the good news is that I haven’t heard from Douglas today. That’s pretty much the only good thing about today. Jensen is…” I huff, getting frustrated at the mention of him. “He’s incredibly infuriating and I’m so glad the place is almost ready for me to move into. I’m not sure how much more of him I can take.”
“That’s strange.” She smiles, as if she knows something I don’t. “You didn’t seem affected one bit at the mention of Douglas, but as soon as you brought up Jensen this fire lit in your eyes. Even if it wasn’t a good flame, it was still a flame. That’s more passion than I’ve ever noticed with Douglas.”
“What!” I let out a nervous laugh, suddenly getting a bit uncomfortable. “That’s ridiculous, Veronica. There’s a difference between passion and hatred.”
“Is there, Cami? Because I think the lines are blurring when it comes to your new landlord. But hey… what do I know?”
I swallow and snatch the remote from her hand, needing desperately to change the subject. “Shameless it is.”
She smiles and shakes her head. “If you say so, Cami. I’ll start the popcorn.”
“Thanks,” I breathe out, relieved that she doesn’t push the subject of Jensen anymore. “Sounds like a good plan.”
We watch two episodes of Shameless before Veronica retires to the bedroom to spend time with Peter. It’s only eight and I’m not even close to being tired, so I think I’ll sit outside on the back porch for a while and enjoy some fresh air.
It’s peaceful out here. Peaceful is something I need after the crap day I had.
“Lucas.” Jensen’s deep voice says out of nowhere, causing me to open my eyes. He’s standing in the dark smoking a cigarette. His eyes are trained on me as he exhales a cloud of smoke. “That’s the guy that punched me. We grew up together. I took his punch because I’m an asshole. You said so yourself.”
My heart unwantedly speeds up at his confession. It may not be much, but it’s the first time he’s willingly given me something, and I can’t help but to like the feeling.
“You don’t have to be an asshole, Jensen,” I say gently. “No one has to be.”
His jaw flexes as he looks out into the night, before finally turning back and saying, “Maybe I do have to be. No more talking about it.” He takes a seat beside me and we sit here in silence enjoying the quietness of the night together.
I look his way every so often. It’s hard not to notice how beautiful Jensen is when he’s deep in thought. I want to know what he’s thinking but don’t ask because I’m enjoying this moment together too much.
A while passes before he stands up. “Goodnight, Cami.” He walks away before I can say anything, and moments later, I hear him ride away on his motorcycle.
I don’t know what made him come back to tell me that, or why he even stayed with me for as long as he did. I definitely don’t know why it makes me want more, but it does. It makes me want to learn about Jensen Blake and why he is the way he is.
I’m so confused. He confuses me. When it comes to my new landlord, I don’t know what I want or need, and it’s exhausting.
I’M NOT SURE WHAT MADE me give Cami the small bit of the truth that I did a few nights ago, but I have to admit, the genuine look in her eyes when I did felt good.
Despite me being a complete asshole to her, Cami still wants to know about me. I’ve gotten so used to everyone judging me by what they’ve seen or heard that I’ve forgotten what it feels like to have someone want to know the real me.
Yet, even knowing this, I can’t help but shut her out just like I’ve done with everyone else around me since that night. It’s easier that way and ensures I won’t hurt her. I can’t afford to hurt anyone else. I’m still suffering the consequences of the last person I broke.
But Cami is different. She’s not Katherine. They’re nothing alike, and the more I realize that the more I fucking want with her. I don’t deserve more though, and that’s something I keep reminding myself every time I see her.
“Uh, boss.” Kim cautiously pokes her head inside my opened office door. “Thomas Brown is on the line. Says he’s going to be late on the rent check. What should I tell him?”
Exhaling, I close my laptop and reach for my keys, about to head home to exercise. I don’t have time for this shit right now. My head is all fucked-up with thoughts of Cami and I need to work it off before I go crazy. “Give him an extra week and I want him to personally deliver his check to the office. No exceptions.”
She nods in understanding and says, “Yes, Sir. I’ll relay the message.” She then backs out of my office in a hurry and leaves me alone. I’ve been more of a dick than usual since walking through the door two hours ago. I can see why she wants minimum interaction with me. I would too.
“I heard about that motherfucker confronting you at the work party. That’s fucked-up shit and you know it.” I bring my attention back to the door to Ben poking his head inside this time. He flexes his jaw and steps into my office when I don’t say shit back. “He’s lucky I left before he showed up. That asshole is wrong. He had no clue the shit you went through with Katherine. Anyone would’ve—”
“It doesn’t matter, Ben.” I slam my fist into the desk in front of me, before running a hand through my hair, pissed off that he had to go and bring up Katherine right now. I can only handle so much shit in my head at once. “Don’t bring her up again. It’s in the past and I want it to stay there. I have enough on my plate. I can’t do this shit right now.”
He shakes his head and runs and tattooed hand over his blond beard. “That’s what you’ve been fucking saying for the last year and a half. One of these days…” He cracks his neck and looks up to the ceiling. “Your story needs to be told. We may have our problems, because we’re both shitheads, but I’ve always got your back, brother. That won’t change. You’re not the only one who has gotten shit about what happened. I got a piece too.”
I nod and take out my cigarette pack to pull one out. “I know. But it is what it is. I don’t give a shit what people think of me. I haven’t in a long time, and I don’t plan to start now. It seems you feel the same way.”
I place the cigarette behind my ear and walk past Ben, needing to get outside so I can breathe. Once outside, I barely light up my smoke and take a drag before Ben steps out the door and lights up one himself.
He doesn’t say shit and neither do I.
We’re both deep in our heads at the moment, because we both had to deal with some fucked-up shit that cut deep and scarred us both.
He’s the first one to toss his cigarette. “Shit’s caught up here, so I’m out. Call me if you need anything. I’m headed to the garage to finish a bike and clear my head.”
I nod and watch as he climbs on his bike and rides away. Not long after, I finish my smoke and head home in hopes of doing the same damn thing.
Usually, I’d head to the rental to work my fucked-up thoughts off, but knowing that Cami is moving in soon will only make me think about her more. Not to mention every time I step into that kitchen I’m reminded of how she tastes. And that reminds me of how I don’t want anyone else getting a taste of her again.
“Fuck!” My legs are shaking by the time I climb off the Leg Press. I’ve worked my body hard on every machine that I own and I still haven’t been able to get control of my thoughts. Cami is still controlling them. I yank off the headphones and toss them against the wall, pissed off.
I look at the time on my phone to see that I have to leave to pick Benny up from school in less than twenty minutes. The same damn school that Cami teaches at.
That should fucking help my shit mood. As much as I try denying it, seeing her always does. Which is why I chose to sit outside with her for a while before I headed home the other night. We didn’t even need to talk.
After taking a quick shower, I rush to the school and park outside the fence before jogging to the main door.
Usually, I’d wait for Benny outside, but on the drive here I came up with the stupid idea of going inside this time, because regardless of what I tell myself when it comes to Cami, after not seeing her for a few days, I want to see her. I can’t deny that shit anymore.
I know exactly where the fourth-grade classrooms are from when I used to pick up Benny back when he was in the fourth grade. Which surprises the hell out of me that I never once saw Cami. Either that or I was too distracted with Katherine to notice her. With the non-stop shitshow that went on she was my only focus.
After being buzzed inside, I take a left instead of a right, which causes confusion for a few faculty members that recognize me, but they don’t question me. I guess mine and Cami’s little show in the bathroom at the bar hasn’t gotten around the school yet. That’s a good thing for Cami. It makes me wonder if Douglas getting Susan pregnant has been made public around here yet. There’s no fucking way not one single person from the school didn’t see them shopping for baby clothes that day. That’s part of why I’m here early to begin with.
I’m not letting Cami look like a fool. People talk in a small town, and I don’t want people saying Douglas left her for another woman because she wasn’t good enough. Fuck that shit. Once people see us together, they’re going to assume they either had a mutual breakup and kept it quiet or that Cami left that douchebag for me. Either option is better than the truth—Cami being cheated on.
I make sure a few people see me stop at Cami’s door and I offer them a cocky smile, before letting myself into her classroom as if I don’t need to ask permission.
Her students notice me before she does, but they’re too busy gathering their things to pay much attention to me. After a few seconds one of her students finally says, “Miss Reynolds, there’s a boy here to see you.”
Her body visually tenses up before she turns around to see who it is. From the shocked expression on her face it’s safe to say she wasn’t expecting it to be me.
“Class, quietly gather your things and line up at the door. I’ll be right back.” She motions for me to wait for her in the hallway and then joins me a few seconds later. “What are you doing here, Jensen?”
Her eyes scan over my face, and the moment they land on my lips, she swallows and turns away. She’s still thinking about our kiss, which means it still has an affect on her.
Good.
“To make sure people will talk, Cami . . . of what we want them to talk about.” I step in close and grab her chin, causing her to meet my eyes. “I’ll see you on Friday with the contract. Meet me there after school. Don’t be late.”
Knowing people are watching us, I lean in and press my lips against hers, kissing her quick and hard, before walking away, not looking back.
People can talk about that.
What makes this more interesting is the fact that my next stop is Douglas’ classroom. And when I get there, I don’t bother to knock either. I step inside to see Douglas at Benny’s desk.
“Should be pretty easy, Benny. Perhaps your mom can answer—”
“We both know that can’t happen and why,” I snap, causing everyone to look my way. “Benny, grab your backpack. Wait for me here.”
“But Jensen. I still have a few que—”
“Now.”
While Benny is gathering his things, I nod toward the door, letting Douglas know I want to speak to him in the hall. Once we’re alone, I get in Douglas’ face, wanting to make this as clear as possible. He’s damn lucky we’re at the school right now with kids around. They’re saving his ass from being against the door with my forearm against his throat.
“Don’t ever fucking mention his mother like that again. This is your only warning.” I step in closer, causing him to swallow and take a step back. “Next time there won’t be one. Got it?”
“It was a mistake,” he says nervously. “I have a lot of students and I wasn’t think—”
“That’s your fucking problem, Douglas. You don’t think. If you did, Cami wouldn’t be screaming out my name for the whole town to hear.”
His face hardens and he takes another step back until he’s practically against the door. “Look here, Pal. I’ve heard the rumors about that, but that’s all it is. Cami already told me the truth about the two of you. She’s too good to give herself to a guy like you, even if she won’t take me back right now. Leave her alone and find someone else to screw with.”
He turns to walk back into the room, but he stops when I say, “It’s too late, Douglas. There is no leaving her alone now.” I look in the window and motion for Benny to meet me in the hallway. “And thanks to you making the mistake of baby shopping with the woman you hurt her with in public, there’s not a chance in hell she’ll be taking you back. Have a nice fucking day.”
Benny steps into the hall right as the last word leaves my mouth. “I’m ready.”
“Let’s go, bud.” I grab Benny’s backpack and start down the hallway with him at my side. “Pizza or tacos?”
He smiles, seeming to forget about his mom being mentioned. “Pizza!”
“Good choice.”
Just as we reach the main door and get ready to exit the school, I look over to see Cami walking down the hallway with her students behind her. She stops and looks at me, and then at Benny, before looking back at me in confusion.
We stare at each other in silence for a moment, before she pulls it together and leads her students toward the door that takes you directly to the playground. The bell doesn’t ring for another five minutes, but after the stunt I pulled not long ago she probably needs to clear her head. Looks like she’ll have something else to figure out now too.
I knew there’d be a possibility of Cami seeing me with Benny at some point. He’s no secret. At least not to the people that live in this town. Everyone knows our story, but clearly, no one has filled her in yet.
That surprises me since all this town does is gossip. Especially when it involves me. The only problem with talking to her about Benny is what the conversation will lead to. That’s a little harder to explain, and if she thinks I’m an asshole now… what will she think once she finds out what happened that night?
She’ll think I’m the cold-hearted piece of shit that the town has decided I am. I’m just the empty shell of a good-looking man and a body for women to use, because they’re certain after what happened that I can’t be anything more.
I’m not sure I’m ready for Cami to see me that way yet.
I TRACE MY FINGERS OVER my lips, replaying Jensen’s kiss for the millionth time since I left school for the day. After he walked away, I couldn’t think straight, so I decided to let my students go early. I couldn’t even catch my breath to talk, so I knew I needed to be alone as quickly as possible.
Jensen was the last person I expected to barge into my classroom unannounced, but the moment I looked up to see him standing there, my heart sped up and I felt butterflies in
my stomach.
After not seeing him for a few days, my body and heart reacted in a way I wasn’t expecting. I didn’t think I’d miss being around him as much as I did, and seeing him looking back at me and the way it made me feel all giddy inside proved just how much I had been wanting to see him again.
But that kiss—I wasn’t expecting it. And I definitely wasn’t expecting it to leave me speechless. It felt so good that I didn’t even care about the eyes watching after he walked away. I also didn’t care that it was just for show. I liked it.
That’s when I realized how screwed I am. As hard as I’ve been fighting any feelings for Jensen, the more slivers I get of the real him makes me realize I’ve just been in denial. If I were honest, I’d say I’m falling for him.
Which is why I was so shocked to see him leaving the school with a student today. I’ve seen Benny off and on over the years, but I don’t know enough about him to know what Jensen is to him.
Is he Benny’s father?
His uncle?
A friend to his mother maybe?
He can’t be Benny’s father, right? Not with the way he works nonstop. He’s always out late. Doesn’t seem to have any real agenda. He does as he pleases. At least I wouldn’t think so, but then again, I don’t know much about Jensen. Or this child’s mother.
I not only want to now, but I need to.
After packing up my two bags and only leaving the few things out that I’ll need before Friday, I make my way through Veronica’s house and peek out of the living room window to see if Jensen is next door.
My heart does this little dance when I see his truck parked out front. I had been listening for his motorcycle since I got back a few hours ago. I hadn’t even stopped to think that he might be in his truck.
“What ya doing, babe?”
I close the curtain and turn to face Veronica. I’ve been struggling all day with whether or not I should ask her for more information, or hope that Jensen will let me in some more. Truthfully, I don’t think it’s something Jensen will willingly talk about. Especially since I was barely able to get out of him who the guy at the bar was.
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