by Vella, Wendy
“Yes, well, perhaps she is not the only one among us with secrets.” Phillipa Blake smiled, as if the words were meant to be humorous and not a subtle dig.
“Which means what exactly?” Abby’s brows drew together.
“Only that we all have secrets,” Phillipa said, undeterred or simply unaware that Abby was annoyed.
“Indeed. After all, take Miss Saint-Bonnard,” Lady Blake tittered. “She just suddenly appeared, and of course there are rumors—”
“I find a person is lacking in a certain substance of character if they have a constant need to seek out gossip for the rumor mill that runs through society. Don’t you, Phillipa?” Abby said with a smile that would scare every rodent in London back into its hole.
“Oh, well… of course.” Phillipa clearly didn’t agree at all. “I had just wondered.”
“I understand Mr. Haven has shown an interest in you, dear Phillipa?” Abby cooed. “Such a perfect match for you, considering.”
“Considering?” Lady Blake’s tone was shrill.
“Well,” Abby drew out the word. “This is her third season.”
Phillipa turned the color of a tomato, and Lady Blake looked like a codfish, her mouth rounded in shock.
She had absolutely nothing to laugh about, but it was bubbling inside her, and Beth feared if she started laughing, she would be unable to stop.
“I will see what is keeping Mother.” Beth got to her feet and hurried to the door, closing it softly behind her. She walked down to the front entrance and stopped by a window. Opening it, she inhaled deep, steadying breaths.
How had she thought she could do this? Navigating the treacherous and often turbulent waters of society was difficult when you were not trying to hide something. When you were, it seemed an insurmountable challenge.
She longed to leave. Longed to never encounter Nathan again and feel the pain that he was no longer hers. The truth was, it hurt like a sore tooth. An ache so deep, there was no way to soothe it without extraction.
Chapter Seven
“Miss Carlow?”
Dear god!
Clenching her eyes shut, Beth prayed she had simply conjured him up and that when she straightened, Nathan would not be standing there.
He was. His face was bruised.
“What happened to you?” Heart thudding, she’d taken a step toward him before she could stop herself.
“I walked into a door.” His tone was cold, stopping her from advancing.
“Wh-Why are you here?”
“Leonard was not at his post, and the door was open, so I came in.” His eyes ran over her face. “Are you well?” The words were curt and clipped. “Your breathing—”
“Why are you here in my house, Nathan?” She struggled to control the wild thump of her heart. Struggled to reinforce the barriers she’d carefully put in place before returning to London, when she’d known she would be forced to see this man again.
Tall, broad-shouldered, and handsome, he was quite simply the most beautiful man she’d ever known. He always had been, and Beth wondered if he always would be.
If only he had a small deformity she could focus on. A missing tooth or mole on the end of his nose.
“I am accompanying my sister, nephew, and future sister-in-law. Apparently, it is best we are at least seen to be civil.”
“They did not mention you were with them.”
“Their little joke, I imagine.”
One look at his icy gaze reinforced his words. He was here under sufferance. But he was right about one thing: his coming here would stop some of the gossip, especially if they were seen having a civil conversation.
“Of course.” A heavy, uncomfortable silence stretched between them. “Nathan….” Her words fell away when she realized she had no idea what to say. Once it had been so natural between them, almost as if the other knew what was going to be said.
“Why?” The word was a demand. One word that she knew asked a multitude of questions. None of which she could answer. “You owe me that much.” Gone was the gentle tone he’d once used with her. The love he’d felt for her had warmed every inch of her soul.
Your family’s safety is in your hands.
“I owe you nothing. Now, if you will excuse me, I must tell my mother we have callers.”
His fingers gripped her wrist as she went to pass him. With a tug, she was facing him once more. They were close now, inches apart. She saw the dark, molten rage in his eyes, but she was not scared and never had been of this man.
“You will not walk away from me again.”
“Let me go.” The silence between them was charged with so many emotions. Their eyes locked on each other, searching, seeking something.
“Just so we are clear, Miss Carlow, I do not like being made a fool of. What I felt for you has now passed and been replaced by disgust that I was foolish enough to have fallen for your sweet and seemingly innocent charade. Going forward, we will be polite and disinterested society members. Are we clear?”
She managed to nod. Managed to make her voice sound calmer. “I wish for nothing more.”
“My sister believes society will move on when they see that neither of us is harboring a broken heart. I assure you, nothing but her insistence would have me set foot back inside this household.”
My heart is broken!
“Of course. I wish that also,” she managed to get out.
A loud woof had her shaking free from his grip and moving to the door.
“Is there a dog out there, Leonard?” she asked the butler, who was just closing it.
“A large one, Miss Carlow.”
“His name is Walter, Leonard,” Nathan said, joining her. “He is ours—well, my soon-to-be sister-in-law’s. He is to stay in the carriage but has a problem with obeying orders.”
He was polite to the butler, unlike the cold tone he’d used on her.
She watched as he opened the door and in bounded a large gray dog. He woofed and then went up on his hind legs and placed his paws on Nathan’s shoulders.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Deville, he slipped his leash.” A harried footman hurried inside.
“Down, Walter!” The dog dropped at Nathan’s command. He then walked to where Beth stood, and sat. Raising a paw, he tilted his head slightly.
“He wants you to shake it,” Nathan said gruffly.
Beth did so. “Hello, Walter.” She scratched him behind a large ear, and he made a grumbling sound that she thought was like a cat purring.
“Beth?” Lady Carlow arrived. “Mr. Deville.” She gave him a polite nod.
“We have guests.” Beth turned from the dog. “The Blake ladies, and Lady Abigail Dillinger and her son, plus Miss Saint-Bonnard. I came to see where you were and encountered Mr. Deville and now Walter.”
“Hello, you lovely boy.” Her mother gave the dog a pat. “Have you called for tea?”
Walter woofed.
“Excellent. Please ensure there is a little something for Walter on the tray, Leonard.”
“At once, my lady,” Leonard said, unperturbed he’d been directed to find something for the dog.
“Come then, we shall return to our guests. Are you staying, Mr. Deville?”
“I am, my lady.” He looked as happy as her about that, Beth thought. “I’m sure it would be better if I returned Walter to the carriage.”
“Not at all, he will shake up the guests nicely,” Lady Carlow said with a sly smile. “Come along, Walter.”
Beth watched the dog trot beside her mother and followed. Nathan was on her heels. It was not a comfortable feeling.
Lady Blake was almost as horrified at seeing Walter as she had been seeing Tobias. Especially when he trotted up to study her.
“Shoo,” she hissed. He gave her the side-eye, then wandered over to see his people.
The room was large enough to accommodate everyone and a dog comfortably, but it felt smaller than usual now Nathan and his disdain for her were in it.
He sat between his
sister and sister-in-law to be. A sign of solidarity on their part. His expression was calm, one large arm resting on the back of the chair behind his sister, the other stroking the small podgy hand of Tobias.
Protected, Beth thought. In small, subtle ways the Deville family members showed that they were there for each other. She’d observed them together often. In fact, she’d made a study of them, because she’d believed one day it would also be her family.
Fool that I was.
“Lady Carlow, how hard this must be on you,” Phillipa said. “Please allow me to acknowledge your bravery.”
“Bravery?” Her mother may exasperate her family members upon occasion with her incessant chatter, but she was nobody’s fool, nor would she allow anyone to insult her. “I’m unsure I follow you, Miss Blake.”
“Bravery to step back into society without a word after such an absence,” Lady Blake cooed.
Walter, after receiving pats and scratches from his family, wandered over to Beth and sat on her foot. She enjoyed the weight of that solid body leaning against her leg, even if the blood supply was soon cut off.
“It is no secret, my lady.” Beth was not going to take any more of these veiled insults. Stroking Walter’s soft head, she decided enough was enough. “But also no one’s business but ours as to why we left society. Just as it is no one’s business but yours as to why you would wear that particular shade of brown.”
Lady Blake’s mouth opened on a small screech as she looked down at her dress.
“Brown! This is oyster silk!”
“And of course, it’s lovely. I was just explaining that our choices are our own to make,” Beth added smoothly.
She heard a very male snort and some muffled giggling.
“Wonderful, the tea has arrived,” she said with a fake smile as Leonard and a maid entered.
“I’ll have one of those pastries,” Miss Saint-Bonnard said.
Beth stood, dislodging her foot from under Walter, and helped serve the tea to keep busy.
“My dear Mr. Deville,” Phillipa cooed. “You are to be commended.”
“Why?” He looked bored as he drank out of the ridiculously tiny cup in his hand.
Phillipa shot Beth a dark look before returning her attention to Nathan.
“Well of course… we had once thought—”
“Phillipa.” Abby put her saucer down with a snap on the table. “The problem as I see it begins when you start thinking. Can I suggest you don’t tax yourself in the future when it concerns my family?”
“Well!” Phillipa’s face flushed with color. “I was merely commiserating—”
“You are trying to flush out something that is not there,” Abby continued, undaunted. “The Carlows have their reasons for leaving London that are private to them and absolutely nothing to do with you. Secondly, Miss Carlow and my brother—this one”—she pointed to Nathan, who nodded back to his sister—“are as you see quite happy as acquaintances. Neither is prostrate with grief or heartbroken, so may I suggest you hunt down some other poor hapless individual to refill your gossip well? You will be getting nothing here.”
The silence that followed those words was absolute. Mary then giggled. Phillipa stood abruptly; her mother also.
“We are leaving. Good day,” she said, and they sailed from the room with chins raised.
“Oh, well done, Abby!” Mary hurried to her friend and hugged her hard. Then she did the same to Beth and left still giggling.
“I cannot abide that woman,” Abby said, taking a mouthful of tea. “It is always a wonder to me how Mary can be of the same blood as that venomous Phillipa.”
“Amen,” Nathan said, looking at Beth. “And now that is done, I feel there is nothing further holding us here.” He stood and took the infant from its mother, settling the babe in his large safe hands. Hands that would never comfort their child or her again.
“Thank you, Miss Carlow,” Abby said. “Stay away from my brother,” she added softly before heading to his side.
“I’m not entirely sure what has happened or why you walked away from Nathan,” Miss Saint-Bonnard said to Beth so only she could hear. “But as someone who was not party to the original crime, I will reserve judgement on your character, Miss Carlow.”
“You would be best suited to follow your betrothed’s family’s lead, Miss Saint-Bonnard,” Beth said. She wanted no one to look too closely at anything she did. Once her tasks were completed, she would leave London and hope to never return.
“On closer acquaintance, you will come to understand I rarely do as I’m told.” With a sweet smile, she left with the Deville siblings.
Beth sat feeling as if she’d been run over by a carriage.
“I like that Miss Saint-Bonnard,” Beth’s mother said. “They say she once worked as a companion for the Duchess of Yardly.”
“How is it you know this when you haven’t frequented society for years?” Beth rested her head on the back of the chair.
“Why, I like to gossip, dear, you know that. Others are more than happy to return the favor.”
Beth snorted at that.
“A note has arrived for you, Miss Carlow,” Leonard said, entering the room to clear the tea tray.
“Thank you.” Taking the note, she opened it and read the words.
Dear god!
“What is it, Beth?”
“Merely from Mary. She must have scrawled a hasty missive in the hallway.” Beth forced out a laugh. “Nothing more than an apology for the behavior of her family.”
“It is their way.” Her mother sighed. “They’ve always been snotty, officious types. I’m sorry you had to see Mr. Deville again, Beth.”
“Don’t be. It’s easier now that I know he was not the man for me. Do you know, Mother, I think I would like to stay in tonight. I know you are visiting Lady Jonkers and I was to accompany you, but would you mind if I had a quiet night here at home?”
“Of course not. This entire business is very stressful on you, as it is for me. I miss your father and cannot help but worry over his recovery, even though Hilda’s letters assure me he is doing well.”
“He has the best of care, Mother.” Hilda was their housekeeper and had been with the Carlow family since Beth was a child. “We must carry on as if nothing has changed in our lives.”
“Yet we both know that is not true,” her mother said softly.
Amen.
Retiring to her room with a headache that wasn’t exactly a lie, Beth lay on her bed and read the note again.
Lord Lithgow will be at Madam Bolade’s in Chessen Lane tonight as he is every Thursday at 10:00pm. He takes a room upstairs, second door on the left, where he meets Miss Chartreuse. You’ll enter that room on your knees. There will be a screen; behind that will be his jacket. In the pocket will be some papers. Leave and enter by the rear door, as it will be open. There are stairs that will take you up to the floor you need. Don’t fail me, Miss Carlow. Your father is only just regaining his health; I would hate for him to have a relapse.
Control and manipulation, Beth thought. Justin Logan wanted her to know that no matter the task, she had to complete it or see her father jailed for treason. That if she failed, then life as she knew it was over.
She’d only met him once, four days after her father’s seizure. Logan had told her that as her father was now incapable of doing what must be done, it was up to her to take his place. Up to her to ensure her father’s reputation stayed pristine and Beth and her mother would not become outcasts from society. He’d then tried to kiss her. She’d fought free and slapped him hard enough to make his teeth rattle. From that day on, he’d been determined to make her pay for rejecting his advance.
“Dear god, how am I to do this?” Doubt, fear—they both gripped her. How was she to walk into a brothel, which she was sure it was, and retrieve those papers, when it was likely Lord Lithgow would be doing things with Miss Chartreuse that she had no wish to see.
Her eyes closed, and the morning took its to
ll. For a while she’d sleep and forget everything, even Nathan with his dark, angry eyes, and then she’d do what she must.
Chapter Eight
Nathan looked at the boy standing in the kitchen doorway. Small, his face hidden under a cap, with grubby hands and clothes, he was like many who ran about the London streets at all hours of the day and night.
“Please repeat the message you were given,” Nathan said.
“You are to come to Chessen Lane within the hour. It’s important and can’t wait, Mr. Nix said.”
“Thank you.”
“It’s in Spitalfields,” the boy added. Clearly, he didn’t think Nathan had frequented such a place.
“Thank you, I am aware of Chessen Lane. Give the boy some food and money, Fairfax,” he told his butler. Nathan then took the stairs up to his rooms. Grabbing his pistol, he tucked it into the waistband of his breeches and put a pouch of money in his pocket. Pulling on his cloak, he slapped on a hat, then left his rooms.
For the first night in many, he was actually alone in the townhouse. His family was all off doing various things, and he was to meet them later at their club. Ella was now sleeping after he’d read her several books. “Just one more” was her favorite sentence, it seemed. Her nanny was watching over her, as Forrest was with Michael.
His brothers would be angry he was going to the meeting alone, but as nothing may come of it and he was meeting Nix, who’d been an informant for many years, he saw no issue with what he was doing.
Plus, while the book he’d been reading, settled in his armchair with a brandy at his elbow, had been a good one, it had not held his attention.
Damn Bethany Carlow to hell and back for returning to London. He’d had no peace since she had.
“If your brothers return and ask for your location, what direction shall I give them, Mr. Deville?” Fairfax was waiting for him in the front entrance. The man knew absolutely everything that went on in this household. He spent his days ensuring the Devilles were cared for and ran his staff with military precision. They were lucky to have him.
“There is no need to tell them anything, as I will return before them, Fairfax. Go to your room now and put your feet up. I’m sure Mrs. Wood has something decadent you can eat while doing so.”