"Well," he continued, suddenly buoyed by the news, "did this man offer to take you in?"
"No. He has his own family here."
"I see." He grimaced and nodded. "Actually, I expected to hear something like that."
"It's not what you're suggesting," I said. "He's a respected man, a college professor. I don't want to be the one to ruin his family," I said.
"No? You want to ruin this one instead, is that it?"
"I don't want to ruin any family. I didn't ask to be born like this and then to be sold off and returned this way," I said.
"Sold off?" Great-aunt Leonora looked at her husband. "I don't understand what she means, Richard."
"It's not of any importance now. Spare us those details," he said "We have enough to deal with at the moment. I'm making arrangements as we speak for all of us to fly to Virginia for the funeral and for the aftermath. With you being a part of the legacy, you will have to be there, of course. I'm sure you won't mind leaving school for that:'
"I'm going because I want to be there. Grandmother Hudson was very dear to me." I spun on Great-aunt Leonora before she could moan. "And I won't call her anything else anymore. The truth is finally out and that's it," I said firmly.
She looked like she would shatter into tiny pieces like some piece of china.
"You won't be coming back here," Great-uncle Richard said. "Take everything that belongs to you." "That's fine with me," I said.
"Oh dear, dear," Great-aunt Leonora moaned. "What was Megan thinking of, to have a child with a black man?"
"She was always wild," Great-uncle Richard complained. "I warned your sister every time I set eyes on her that they were being too lenient, but that's the way Americans bring up their children," he lectured, "far too liberally. Once you surrender order, decorum, a sense of place and heritage, you . ."
"Start pretending you're someone else?" I asked pointedly. "Participate in little illusions and games?"
He turned a little crimson, but held his posture and his gaze.
"There's no point in talking about it any further. We'll be leaving on the eight o'clock flight tonight. Get your things together. That's all I want to say about this right now," he added to tightly shut down the conversation.
"You don't want me to serve you dinner?" I asked, my voice thick with sarcasm.
"Hardly," he said.
"I don't want to eat anything," Great-aunt Leonora muttered. "My sister is gone. I have no family left," she wailed and rocked herself in her seat.
"You have two nieces and a great-niece and nephew," her husband reminded her.
"Two great-nieces," I said.
She looked at me. The whole thing was finally settling into her mind and she didn't know what to say or what to feel. Finally, I thought, someone would know what I endured.
"What an incredible disaster," Great-uncle Richard muttered as he stood up. "What's that saying Americans love? You can choose your friends but not your relatives?"
"Exactly how I feel too," I said and walked out first, heading for my room and my private time to mourn Grandmother Hudson. Somehow, I knew when I had waved good-bye to her that day I left for England that I was waving goodbye forever. I think she knew it too. I think that was why there were tears in her eyes. She was too confident about herself and her future to cry at partings. She was that sad only because she knew she would never see me again.
I didn't have to call the school to ask Mr. MacWaine to meet Roy. As soon as I didn't appear, he went looking for me and found Mr. MacWaine himself and learned the news. Immediately thereafter, he appeared at the Endfields' doorway. I had completed my packing when I heard Leo's distinctive limp resounding in the hallway.
"Your brother is here," he told me when I peered out my door.
"Thank you, Leo. Why didn't you just send him back?"
"Mr. Endfield asked that I fetch you," he said. He looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry. The young man is waiting outside."
"He wouldn't let him in?"
Leo didn't respond. He didn't have to. I charged up the hallway to the front of the house. My greatuncle was in his office on the telephone continuing his preparations for a sudden departure. He glared at me and then turned his back as he continued talking on the phone.
Fuming, I practically lunged at the front door. Roy was standing in front, his hat in hand. He looked up expectantly when I appeared.
"I'm sorry, Roy. They pride themselves on being so polite and decent when the real truth is they're the cruelest, meanest. . ." I glared back at the house. If my eyes were cannons, the building would be blown away. "They're horrified now that they've learned I'm related to them. Grandmother Hudson was right about them. They're afraid their precious reputations might be damaged. They should know how terrible I feel about being related to them."
I folded my arms around myself and kicked a small stone down the driveway.
"What's this all mean?" he asked, obviously astounded by my display of raw rage.
"I'm going back to Virginia tonight for the funeral and everything. I didn't get a chance to tell you, but Grandmother Hudson put me in her will. I'm not sure yet what it all means, but one thing is for sure, my mother can't deny me anymore and pretend I don't exist. Her husband is going to want to know why I'm an heir and her sister will practically break her neck rushing to tell him and get him to help her get my rights denied."
"So your Mama's family still doesn't know anything about you?"
"Nothing real," I said.
He shook his head, his face full of concern.
"That's going to be some funeral, Rain, with a family feuding and arguing right in the middle of all of it. You sure you can handle all that yourself?"
"I've got no choice, Roy. If I don't, I'll be letting down Grandmother Hudson and giving them," I added, nodding a the house, "what they'd like. They'd like me to just go away, disappear, pretend I don't exist. My great-uncle is an expert when it comes to pretending," I added furiously. Roy didn't catch onto any innuendo or strange reference.
"Maybe you should just leave, Rain. You can forget them all and return with me to Germany. Lots of guys there are married. They do all right. It isn't a bad life for now and at least you won't have to be with a bunch of phonies," he said. I looked down, kicking another stone, remaining silent. "Not a good idea, huh?" he followed.
"I don't think so, Roy. I still have a few questions to answer about myself."
"Yeah," he said, looking off.
"I'll write you as soon as I know what's happening," I promised him.
"You coming back here?"
"Not here," I said, indicating the house.
"Back to England, though?"
"Maybe. I don't know yet. It's like I was riding on a magic carpet for a while and suddenly someone pulled it out from under me and I'm floating down, but down to what, I don't know."
"You sure are brave, Rain. I never knew how brave you could be. Someone else in your place would get the best deal and run,"-he said.
"I might still do that."
He stared at me a moment and shook his head. "I doubt it," he said and I smiled.
"I'll miss you, Roy."
"Will you? Good. Miss me a lot," he said. "Miss me 'til it hurts.'
I widened my smile and then he hugged me, kissed my hair and my cheek and put his hat on.
"Guess I'll just head back early then," he said. "It's hit and miss with a ride anyway."
"What do you mean? I thought you had your travel arrangements all set."
"I'm hitchhiking," he told me. "I've got to get on an army transport."
"What would happen if you didn't? It doesn't sound like you planned it all too well:'
I fixed my gaze on his eyes and he shifted them away too quickly.
"You had a pass though, didn't you, Roy? You didn't just up and come to England now, did you?"
"Sure I had a pass?'
I leered at him and he smiled.
"Maybe I stretched it a bit, but that's all right." "Ro
y Arnold, you didn't?"
"I'll be okay," he said quickly. "You don't need anything more to worry about."
I shook my head.
"Someday, I'll stop getting everyone who comes into contact with me in trouble?'
"Don't go blaming yourself for anything, Rain. I'm a big boy and I don't do what I don't want."
"I always knew that, Roy Arnold. Just promise me one thing:' I said.
"What's that?"
"You won't follow in Ken's footsteps. No matter what happens, you'll never do that?'
"You don't need to hear me promise, Rain. I'd rather be dead." he told me.
Neither of us sounded hopeful, however. It was as though a dark, brooding cloud, the one that had followed our family from the beginning, had lowered itself around us, and wave our arms as fast and as hard as we could, we couldn't move it away. It would always be there.
I rushed forward, kissed him quickly on the lips, and then turned back to the house. He watched me until I stepped inside and closed the door. I took a deep breath and started down the corridor. Greatuncle Richard stepped out of the drawing room as I started by.
"You and your brother must be very close, very close indeed to have such an intense good-bye:' he remarked.
I glanced into the drawing room and realized he had probably been watching us out the front window. Before I could comment, he crossed behind me and headed up the stairs.
"We'll be leaving in an hour," he muttered.
"Not soon enough for me:' I whispered back at him.
When I returned to my room, I sat on my bed and tried to catch my breath. It was all happening so fast. Some great force had taken the reins of my Destiny and was driving it headlong in another direction. Where? Why?
My thoughts went to my father and I quickly opened my notebook and began a letter.
Dear.
Should I call him who he is? No more lies, no more false faces, I thought.
Dear Daddy,
I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you sooner I really appreciated being with your family and meeting my half brother and half sister. They are lovely children, and I know they'll make you very proud. I was also so happy to meet Leanna. I like her a lot, and I'm sure we would get along just fine.
It was never my plan to rush into anything, even if you wanted me to. Now, all of it has to be placed on hold anyway. I have been given very bad news. Grandmother Hudson has passed away. You never knew her as I did, of course, so I don't expect you to understand why or how, but she and I did grow very close to each other and I will miss her She had a great deal of faith in me and she helped me build my selfconfidence.
As I told you, she has made me part of her will, and I am returning tonight with my great-aunt and great-uncle to attend the funeral. I don't know what will happen to me next, but I expect that I will return to England in due time, and 1 hope then we can get to know each other better and I can become a small part of your life.
Thank you for not denying me, for wanting to know me, for having the courage to acknowledge me. My mother hasn't yet, but I believe as 1 am writing this letter she is probably breaking the news to her husband and children. She has little choice now, now that Grandmother Hudson's will is going to be read.
It makes me smile to think about that. I just know Grandmother Hudson is getting her final satisfaction in doing it.
I'll write you from America first chance I get. Please give my love to Leanna and the children. I'm so sorry so much time has gone by without us ever having met.
Love, Rain
I folded the letter, addressed an envelope and went out to find Leo. He took it and promised to post it for me first thing in the morning. Mrs. Chester was in the kitchen working, despite the fact that no one was going to sit down to a formal meal. Habit was habit and she went through her motions no matter what occurred. She had no idea why I was leaving, but I wanted to say goodbye to her.
"I've come to say good-bye, Mrs. Chester. I haven't always understood everything you've said and done, but I appreciated your efforts to make things easier for me here."
She put away a bowl and wiped her hands on a dishtowel while she looked at me.
"They ain't makin' you go home account of anything I said," she told me. "Ya been a good worker and a good girl, ya have."
"No, it has nothing to do with you or this house or anyone," I said. "I have to go."
"I'm not one to snoop or tell anyone else what's ta do and what's not, but you be careful now."
"Thank you, Mrs. Chester." I gave her a hug and said, "And look in on Mary Margaret. She needs that."
Mrs. Chester nodded.
"We all do, dearie. We all do," she said and returned to her work.
I went back to my room to get my things. After I put on my jacket, I paused in the doorway and looked around the small room. Funny, how a person can get used to almost anything, I thought, even a jail cell like this. I thought about the ghost of Sir Godfrey Rogers's dead mistress.
"I never saw you or spoke to you," I said aloud, "but I feel sorry for you if you're stuck in this house:'
I lifted one of my suitcases and struggled a bit with the other when suddenly Boggs appeared.
"I'll get that," he barked. "You go on ahead. There's a phone call for you."
"Phone call?"
He grunted and went for my suitcases. I returned to the main part of the house and lifted the receiver on the hallway table where Boggs apparently had left it for me.
"Hello?"
"Rain, it's Randall. I just heard from Leslie that you had some bad news today and had to leave school. I was looking everywhere for you. What happened?"
"I have to return to America, Randall," I said. "My grandmother has passed away."
"Oh. I'm sorry. When will you be back?"
"I don't know."
"Well, can I call you somewhere?"
"I'll write you a letter," I said, "and tell you more when I know more."
"Promise?"
"I don't like to make promises, Randall. Too many have been made and broken for me so I just say what I'll do and I do it," I told him.
"I believe you. I wish I could see you before you leave."
"I'm just about ready to go. We're on a night flight."
"Wow. That is fast. What about...you know who?" he asked.
"I've written him a letter."
"I'll be thinking about you." he said. "And that's not a promise; it's a fact."
"Okay, Randall. Thank you," I said, smiling.
"Rain. You're really the nicest girl I ever met. I'm sorry about what I did to ruin it."
"That's another thing I'm tired of, Randall, apologies. You don't have to make any. We didn't get involved enough to owe each other any promises or any apologies,"
I said. I was sorry I sounded so cold, but my emotions felt like they had been running on empty for hours and hours.
"I know," he said. "But I wish we had. Have a good trip, Rain."
"Thank you."
"Bye," he said. "I'll be thinking of you next song I sing."
"Bye:' I said and placed the receiver in the cradle. I truly wondered if we would ever see each other again, or just be memories dwindling into shadows.
Boggs went by with my bags, glanced at me and continued on.
I could hear my great-aunt and great-uncle coming down the stairway. I took one final look at the big house. It was really never a home to me. Perhaps it could be a home only to ghosts, living and dead. I moved quickly to join my great-aunt and great-uncle at the door and we all walked out to the waiting Rolls. Boggs had already put their luggage in the Wet. He held the door open for them and they got in quickly. I looked at him and then followed. No one spoke. Moments later, we were on our way to the airport.
We all slept for most of the trip across the Atlantic. When we arrived in Richmond, Jake was waiting for us at the gate. I felt like running into his arms so we could comfort each other. One look at his face told me of his great sorrow. His thick, bushy eyebrows we
re turned in toward each other as the ripples of deep sadness formed on his forehead. When he saw me, his eyes brightened and he smiled.
"Hello, Princess," he said before he greeted the Endfields. My Great-uncle Richard was obviously displeased about that.
"You can help us with our carry-ons," he told Jake.
"Oh, sure," Jake said. He pulled a cart around and filled it quickly with the smaller bags. Then he looked at Great-aunt Leonora and said, "Sorry for your trouble, Mrs. Endfield."
"Yes," she said in a dreamy, far-off voice, "yes, thank you, Jake. Do you know if she suffered any at the end?"
"How would he know, Leonora? He's not your sister's doctor. He's your sister's chauffeur."
"From what I understand, Mrs. Endfield," Jake replied ignoring Great-uncle Richard, "it happened so quickly, she didn't have time for pain. That would be like her," he added for me.
He leaned toward me as we continued toward the baggage carousels.
"You look all the lady now, Princess. She'd be damn proud," he whispered.
I smiled and squeezed his hand. He looked at me quickly, feeling how my own hand was trembling. "How is my niece?" Great-aunt Leonora asked him. "And which one would you mean, Mrs. Endfield?"
"Victoria, of course," Great-uncle Richard said sharply.
It was as if they'd already plucked my mother out of their family tree.
"Oh. She's doing fine. She's at the house waiting on you all. Megan will be here with her family early in the afternoon," he added.
"It takes a funeral for us to see her," Great-aunt Leonora moaned.
"Humph," my Great-uncle Richard grunted.
Jake glanced back at him and then at me, winking. I had one friend forever, I thought.
"How's Rain?" I asked him.
"Oh, boy, she's prime. Wait until you set eyes on her," he said.
"Who are you two talking about?" Great-aunt Leonora asked, overhearing.
"My racehorse, Mrs. Endfield."
"You named a horse after this girl?"
"A-huh. And the horse is mighty proud of it, too," he said.
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