by Ivy McAdams
Thank goodness, because it was saving her in her time of need.
Of course, she could survive alone. If she had to. Even if it would be lonely and dangerous.
Although the thought of living in the cabin she’d shared with Papa without him broke her heart. Not to mention the bed she’d shared with Clay. Pain pricked the corner of her eyes. She brushed it away with an angry hand.
Living alone at all would break her Papa’s heart.
He'd tried so hard to get her this deal so she'd never be on her own. Or stuck in a wooden cabin in the forest for the rest of her life. He wanted her in town. Where she'd always wanted to be.
It wasn't as if she could count on Clay staying safe and surviving long enough to protect her. Papa had been her rock for over a decade, and he was gone. Unlike her father, Clay put himself in dangerous situations daily. Who knew how long that would last?
She stared up at the ceiling.
With a ragged breath that almost hurt to draw, she moved over to the bed and climbed under the blankets. She cuddled down deep and closed her eyes.
No matter what had happened over the last few days, she knew her place. No matter how much she was missing Clay already and wished she could find him again, she knew she certainly would not be welcomed into Emerald Falls with him.
She needed Robert.
Papa was a smart man. He’d figured it out. The dowry he’d promised the Murphys was in the bank. She wasn’t sure how much was actually in there, but he’d made the promise. She’d been preparing for her transition for months. He’d helped in all ways he could, letting her visit the general store more often to learn about the townspeople and teaching her to dance.
But he hadn’t prepared her heart for what might sneak in.
Clay had gotten under her skin. Awakened her soul and set her body on fire.
He would be impossible to forget. No matter how the thought of settling into the life she was meant to have, without him, made her heart ache, she didn’t regret a moment of it.
She was alive because of Clay. In all the ways that mattered.
It was nearly impossible to quiet her thoughts long enough to rest, but the exhaustion in her body did finally take over, and she slept.
Chapter 18
A pair of golden finches fluttered about on a fence post near the house. One puffed its feathers and rubbed its beak on the other, who twittered and sung a sweet song. Sadie watched them with mild interest. Although anything was better than Mary Lou’s constant chatter.
“I told that woman that the blue was just not going to work for me. I wanted the teal like she had in the catalog and nothing less. I don’t want some bluebell dress like everyone else is wearing, am I right?”
Robert’s mother and sister Lilah sat next to her, rocking in their wooden rockers and working away on colorful knitting projects. Mary Lou, a bubbly blonde that never stopped talking, held the yarn for Mrs. Murphy’s project.
“I like that blue dress,” Lilah added.
“Sure, it goes well with your eyes, but I don’t need to be running around in bluebell. It just doesn’t go. Besides, Mrs. Smith and Carol Ann have it already. I can’t be matching them, can I?” She wrinkled her nose with a snort, flashing a big smile. “Unless you think some of them Murphy boys would like it.”
Sadie set the sock she was working on in her lap once more to look out over the field. Mrs. Murphy had handed her some thread and a basket of socks that needed darning when they stepped out onto the porch that morning.
Breakfast had been polite. Mr. Murphy welcomed her back before going out onto the farm to get the day started. Robert’s younger brother and sister didn’t speak much. Mrs. Murphy declared that she had moved up the wedding date to accommodate Sadie needing somewhere to stay.
It was not proper for her to live with them long-term otherwise, Mrs. Murphy had reminded her.
The thought of marrying Robert in just two weeks, however, made Sadie's lungs shut down. Mrs. Murphy had then turned the discussion to the approaching cold weather. The snow was moving down the mountain peaks, and the cold season would be upon them before they knew it. Despite the woman never looking in her direction, Sadie couldn't help but think the update was directed at her. To remind her that she had a broken cabin, no food reserves, and no one to help her.
Getting married could be the only thing that saved her life.
She should have been grateful that Papa had secured her before he was gone. Even if being handed the entire family’s holy socks to darn and made to sit with the women on the porch was less than thrilling.
“I’ve seen him stare at that blue, boy, I tell you,” Mary Lou said with a laugh. “I know he likes it. It’d go well with his eyes too. All you Murphys got them shiny hazel eyes.”
“It does run in the family,” Mrs. Murphy said. “My mama had them too. All my babies have them. I hope my grandbabies do too.”
Sadie was listening just enough to catch Mrs. Murphy’s glance in her direction. She pasted on a friendly smile. Having Robert’s sweet hazel-eyed babies would be a blessing, wouldn’t it?
Her throat pinched close.
“I’m sure Robert will.” Mary Lou’s eyes were on her too. “He’s so handsome. His babies will be beautiful.”
“I’m sure they will,” Sadie managed.
“You must be so excited! To be getting married to the eldest Murphy boy in just a fortnight.” Mary Lou fanned at her face dramatically. “Pick of the litter, that one. Besides you, dear.” She waved a hand at Lilah with a smile. “You can see him from a mile away walking through town. That jaw. That smile.”
Mary Lou made an exaggerated saucy growl that straightened Sadie’s back. She stared at the woman silently for a beat. Part of her wanted to lift a hand to the silly girl for being so forward and flirty with Robert, her declared fiancé. What did she think she was doing? The louder part of Sadie’s soul, however, couldn’t picture Robert’s smile, even though she knew it was charming. The only one that came to mind was Clay’s.
The crooked grins he gave her beneath the shadow of his hat. The way his eyes glowed when he looked at her.
Her heart skipped a beat, and her cheeks warmed. She looked out over the field once more so the other women would not see.
A movement far across the pasture caught her attention. A black hat behind the corner of the barn. Square shoulders and long legs.
Clay.
Her heart stopped, and she nearly choked, sitting straight up in her seat. The women nearby shifted. She could feel their eyes on her.
“I, er, I need to stretch my legs.” Sadie slid out of her chair, dropping a couple socks onto the porch before dumping the rest of them into the basket next to her seat.
“Is everything all right?” Mrs. Murphy asked, reaching a hand out to touch her, but Sadie was already moving toward the edge of the porch.
“Of course. I just like to take a brisk walk after breakfast. It helps wake me up.” Her dress shoes snapped down the wooden steps. “I felt myself falling asleep!” She threw a smile back at the women to assure them, surprised at the positive energy coursing through her veins all of a sudden.
Mary Lou called out something else, but Sadie was on the move and didn’t hear her. She tried to keep her pace at a normal level, but adrenaline pulsed through her.
What was Clay doing there anyway? Despite the flicker in her chest at seeing him, it was dangerous for him to be wandering around town where he could be seen. Would someone recognize him?
Especially after robbing the mail wagon the day before. There was no doubt they were looking for suspects for that crime. Had he been reported? She hated to think of what would happen if Robert or any of his family saw Clay hiding behind their barn. What if they saw her out there with him?
Her step faltered as she considered the possibility. If she was caught she’d be in big trouble. Not to mention Mr. Murphy was a big name in town. Would they give Clay a harsher sentence for associating with her?
Among other
things.
An odd shiver ran through her body as she slowed to a near stop.
She should go back. Not fan the flames.
There was the edge of Clay’s hat at the corner of the barn again. He’d seen her, and he was close to exposing himself.
A new surge of frustration hit her. Didn’t outlaws, of all people, know how to lay low?
She stomped through the long grass, hands clenched at her sides until she reached the barn. When she popped around the corner, Clay's hand closed over her arm and jerked her behind cover.
The furrow in his brow and the stern set in his jaw were starkly conflicting to the soft hands that moved into the hair at her neck and held her closer. Most of her anger deflated in a rush as his deep blue eyes captivated her.
“Sadie,” he breathed, and the ragged sound rattled her soul.
But she was angry at him. For his indifference toward her earlier. For his indifference toward his own self-protection, coming on the farm like it was nothing.
She thrashed against him.
“What happened?” he asked, his fingers tightening on her arms. “Did someone hurt you? If someone hurt you, I’ll see that they—“
“Hurt me?” She gave a haughty laugh. “You mean like this?” She shook the forearms in his strong grasp closer to his face, but he didn’t let go. “You mean like back there when you said―”
His face came at her so suddenly that her lips were parted when his met hers. She jumped and twisted against the kiss, even as the shock and warmth of his touch surged through her and stirred her insides.
But no! She was still angry.
She shoved against him as he stepped into her, pushing her back against the barn wall. His chest was a strong weight across her front. Comforting in a strange way. His arms pinned her hands to the faded wooden boards on either side of her head. The thrill that shot through her, being held tight below Clay’s strong body, was exciting enough that she lost track of the first reason she was mad.
He shouldn’t be at the Murphy’s ranch, that was for sure. She was definitely mad about that.
She pressed her mouth in harder to his so he’d truly know her frustration. She lifted up on her toes, defiantly crushing her lips to his and growling into his throat. A deep appreciative moan rattled in his chest, tickling against her and stirring a fire in the pit of her stomach.
She really couldn’t think when he made noises like that.
When his tongue shot out and his pelvis moved into hers, all her thoughts grew blurry. She arched back, threading her fingers through his. He reacted in same, squeezing her hands in a firm grip. His body pressed to hers from toe to chest, and she was reminded of the weight of him, lying in her bed in the cabin. Her heart thumped, and his lips twisted against hers, eating up the tiny smile that had formed there.
The solid bulge in his pants pressed into her thigh, and the very thought of it touching her sent electricity through her limbs. She wanted to touch the sparks to him, shock some sense into him. Or set his skin on fire like hers.
When his grip on her loosened, her hands slid up his arms, over his solid body, and down his waist to dig her fingers under the belt on either side of his hips. She took a firm hold and hauled him closer to her, grinding his hips into her body.
Clay’s hot mouth moved over her jaw and down her neck, nipping and sucking at her skin. Her eyes rolled as she tilted her head back against the wall, allowing him more access to her throat. The heat from his lips and breath were like fire, scorching her flesh, and it stirred her so deep down that her pulse tripped. She jerked his hips again, and her breath shuttered as his erection stabbed into her legs, a solid nudge in between her thighs. Her body burned to feel more of him, and she grew desperate.
Her hands slid along around to the front of his belt, disarming the belt buckle with fumbling fingers. As she made quick work of his trouser fastenings, he moaned into her mouth. The flame within her raged, and she wrapped a leg around him as she pushed his pants open and freed the thick length of him.
He growled into her lips, jerking her skirts up out of the grass and shoving them up over her hips. With one smooth motion, he slid his hands down around her rear and hoisted her up the wall.
Her fingers wrapped around his shaft, sliding from tip to base, and he hissed a breath against her mouth. One of his hands moved from her bottom to her thighs, ripping her undergarments away.
She gasped, panting in surprise as his fingers slid along the sensitive folds beneath. Then his hand was supporting her once more, lifting her higher, and fitting her over his hips. She snatched her hands away, wrapping her legs around his waist and drawing him in closer with a jerk. When the length of him delved deep, her breath caught, a jolt of excitement coursing through her.
She’d ached to have him again for what felt like a lifetime. Two days was much too long to go without having him close enough to smell, to taste, to feel lodged between her thighs.
The delicious sensation that leapt up from the junction between her legs and through her abdomen intoxicated her. Her fingers threaded through his hair, tightening and pulling him nearer. His teeth sank into her lip, testing and teasing. She moaned.
His hips pulled away from hers and returned with even greater force, crushing her against the barn wall. She cried out, but his mouth muffled the sound. His hips jerked, forcing him deeper and deeper. Long, rough strokes that pounded her into the wood.
The hot core he hammered with his body roared, liquid fire tightening low in her abdomen like an explosive knot. Her legs clenched around him, fingers clawing through his hair and into his scalp as she demanded more of him.
He delivered. Faster and harder rolls of his hips, bruising lips on hers. She nearly couldn’t catch her breath in the fervor.
When she thought she might suffocate, or her body explode, his tightened. He hit her even deeper in her center, and she erupted. She gasped into his mouth, and he groaned. A hot wave of ecstasy rocked her as his body seized along with her.
Her body was on fire, and it took a few moments for the waves of heat to subside.
He tucked his face into the hollow of her neck. The sound of his quivering breaths in her ear was as tempting as the rest of his body.
They stood in silence, locked against the barn wall. As their breaths began to settle, his hands grew soft on her. He lifted her from his body and set her feet back on the grass. When she was grounded once more, a new heat filled her cheeks.
What the hell had she just done?
She chanced a peek up at him as she set her skirts straight. His gaze was on her as he fixed his pants. His eyes shone brightly, lips pink and puffy where they’d used them so roughly. A part of her wanted to run her tongue along her lips to get another taste of him. The other was appalled as reality set in.
She’d come out to set him straight, and he’d bewitched her.
But she’d be lying if she said it hadn’t been amazing.
She swallowed roughly, digging down deep to find what she’d come out to say.
Only he spoke first.
“Come back with me, Sadie.”
It snapped her back. The truth. Everything that’d happened before she arrived at the Murphy ranch.
She put her hands on her hips with a sharp frown.
“So you can sell me away to a witch?”
Chapter 19
Clay’s brow deepened, and he narrowed his eyes. “What are you talking about?”
Sadie dug into the side pocket of her now-wrinkled green cotton dress and pulled out a creased piece of paper. She snatched it open and shoved it toward him.
“She doesn’t want me. You aren’t going to get any money,” she said, swallowing back a stream of tears. She refused to cry in front of him over such a matter.
She wasn’t sure why she’d read Aunt Hilda’s letter again half a dozen times, but the sting had rung true each time.
Clay’s eyes scanned the page quickly, then jumped up to her.
“This is your aunt?�
��
Sadie gave him a tight-lipped nod.
His mouth curled in a snarl, and he ripped the letter in two. It jolted her like a slap in the face. Stiff and wide-eyed, she stared at him as the leaflets floated into the grass at their feet.
“Hang what she says,” he grunted. “Who cares if she won’t pay anything?”
“You do apparently. You were going to drag me over there.”
He scoffed with a shake of his head. “Ace wanted me to go collect. I was just doing as he asked. I actually wasn’t going to mention it to you.” His voice lowered, and his eyes softened. “After I brought you back to camp, I was going to tell Ace I wanted to keep you around for a bit. I mean, you know, you didn’t really have a good place to go back to. Bears and all. I thought maybe you’d stick around…”
His eyes pulled her, and she wanted to step back into his arms. To be enveloped against his chest. If only he wasn’t so reckless. Putting his life on the line for Ace and constantly doing his bidding. She needed a more stable life. Like living on a ranch.
His eyes sharpened.
“But I got caught up,” he said, “and I forgot about women and their reputations. Worrying so much about what everyone else thinks of you. It controls your life. It changes who you are. I didn’t expect you to walk down the street on my arm or nothing, but you dumped me like breakfast scraps in the pig trough.”
The pain and frustration in his eyes sliced into her heart. She shook her head, reaching out for his arm, but he moved it just out of reach.
“I’m sorry,” she sputtered. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s just that Mr. Brown knows everything in town. He and the rest of Emerald Falls know I’m engaged to Robert. I wasn’t sure what he’d―”
“Are you still?”
She blinked. “Am I what?”
“Are you still engaged?” Clay took hold of her elbow, staring down at her in earnest from the shadows of his hat. “Do you love him?”