by Ivy McAdams
We’re all happy you’ve found someone to love, but you know you can’t marry her. It’s one thing to pick up a pretty girl while you’re looking to make a new life, but marrying the first one you find and taking on her problems? I thought you were smarter than that.
Let that girl and her baby be and come on home, Jed.
Sadie’s heart flopped, and she gripped the page tighter.
There’s no reason to be so stubborn. You know Father will cut you off. What will you do for money?
Hope to see you soon,
Hilda Tanner
Sadie dropped the letter on the bed while her heart raced.
It was true. Papa had met Mama when she already had a baby.
Sadie’s face flushed, and she tugged at the neck of her dress. How had she never known? Why had they lied?
She frowned, digging for another letter and finding familiar masculine handwriting.
My dear Eleanor,
Sadie’s back straightened. Mama. She put all her effort into not crinkling the page with her clenched fingers.
I am more convinced of my love for you than ever. I miss your beautiful eyes and the soft pink of your cheeks. I will not sleep properly until I can kiss you goodnight.
I am sorry I had to leave on short notice, but it was my worst fear as suspected. My father has been diagnosed with pneumonia. The doctor does not have much positive to say on his recovery.
I am going to have a difficult time getting home, as my family have turned into raving monsters. I don't understand why they feel so strongly that I should move back to St. Aspen, but none of their words will work on me. I know they haven't met you and Sadie yet, but they will fall in love as fast as I did, I'm sure. Who could resist your charm, and Sadie's sweet blonde curls? I have no doubts, even if they are a pain right now. Hopefully, I can coerce them into better moods so they will attend the wedding ceremony next month.
I will be on the first train back to Emerald Falls in the morning. I count the breaths until I see your face again, my love. You keep my heart beating as I dream of you.
Forever yours,
Jed Tanner
Sadie closed her eyes and pressed the sheet of paper against her chest.
Even as a young child, she’d never doubted her parents love for one another. Reading the actual words brought fresh tears to her eyes. They stung, and she welcomed them.
She missed Mama and Papa both. Even if she had learned more truth than she cared to know. Jed Tanner was still her father in her heart. In the ten years he’d raised her on his own, she’d never doubted him. She still didn’t.
Except perhaps his choice in men.
If only he’d met Clay.
Especially after reading of Papa’s stubborn attachment to love, she felt assured he would have picked Clay.
Perhaps she’d made a mistake denying her heart.
Clay was right. Papa would have made the other decision. He’d have picked love.
The thought brought a fresh wave of tears, and she curled up among Papa’s letters and cried herself to sleep.
Chapter 21
Sadie twirled her silver fork through a nest of yellow and green vegetables and sighed. Robert’s grandfather and Mr. Murphy had been discussing their different approaches to branding cattle for the last twenty minutes of lunch. She’d never been so disinterested in the ranching business in her life. If she’d ever romanticized what it would be like to be married to a rancher, the vision was gone.
The Murphy approach to ranching was dry.
“You just snag those calves by the ears and give ‘em a squeeze,” Grandpa said. “Then you stick that iron on while it’s good and hot.”
“If you make them squeal, though, those mamas will come after you,” Mr. Murphy said.
Grandpa huffed out a dismissive breath. “Not if you put those girls out in the back forty. Ain’t no way they’re getting back to those babies.”
“I prefer the cleaner method. Tie the hock, do it quick.”
“That’s how you get kicked in the head.”
Mr. Murphy grunted.
“That’s fine, Grandpa,” Robert said, “but how do you keep up with the numbers is the real question. There’s no way to properly count them all each time you move them. There’s thousands in that sea of black out there. How do you know how many you leave with?”
Sadie rolled her eyes, pushing the food on her plate and doing her best to avoid propping her chin in her hand and taking a snooze.
“Divide ‘em up. Count in sections. Same way we been doing it for generations. You can count, can’tcha, boy?”
“Of course, but that takes a lot of time.”
“For the cowboys. That’s their job.”
“Couldn’t you just give them different brands or colors?” Sadie asked, attempting to dip a toe into the conversation to keep herself awake.
Mrs. Murphy narrowed her eyes from across the table and cleared her throat. “Let the men talk their business,” she hissed in a hushed tone.
Sadie pressed her lips together in frustration, biting back a retort.
Let them talk? They’d been going on and on about ridiculous matters for ages, and no one else was allowed to speak?
She set her fork aside and leaned back in her chair, staring out a nearby window. White clouds dotted a soft blue sky. A flock of birds cut through them.
To be flying free in the sky, far away from the boring life she’d been dropped into, sounded like a dream. The perfect solution to the walls that were closing in. A sigh slipped out of her lips.
Something touched her leg, and she jumped. Robert’s fingers hovered near her knee. While Grandpa and Mr. Murphy continued to debate around them, he looked at her with a small smile as his hand rested over hers on her thigh. Her muscles tensed.
His skin was cool against hers, and she dug her fingertips into her dress to fight the urge to yank her hand free. His clammy palm brought no spark, no fire. Just tension and a queasy feeling in her gut.
Was this the touch she would have to endure for the rest of her life?
Knowing what a truly passionate touch felt like?
She squirmed in her seat, looking out the window again. Another pair of birds sailed through the endless blue. Free and alive.
Suddenly words from Papa’s letters came rushing in.
I am more convinced of my love for you than ever.
Why was she fighting her feelings with such conviction? Papa hadn’t done it. He’d left everything he knew to follow Mama.
Deep down inside, she felt that if Papa had met Clay, he would have picked him a hundred times over Robert.
The realization of all her true feelings hit her like a freight train.
She’d made a big mistake.
But she was determined to fix that.
Clay may have let her escape, but he still held her heart captive.
When Robert’s fingers squeezed into hers, Sadie jolted alert and snatched her hand away. Her chair nearly toppled as she pushed back from the table and leapt to her feet.
All of the family seated around her stopped and stared, frozen in confusion. Robert sat still, a puzzled look deepening into an annoyed frown on his face.
“Oh, excuse me,” she stammered. Her brain raced faster than her mouth could formulate actual words. “I need to take a walk.”
As she hurried around the head of the table, all gazes followed her.
Robert stood abruptly. “Sadie. What’s going on?”
“I’ll just be a moment,” she coughed, letting the lie sting her tongue. It didn’t matter. She’d soon be free.
Heavy boots echoed on the wood floor as he came around the table after her. Then his hand was on her elbow.
“Where are you going?”
“Outside. I won’t be long.” She kept her gaze down, refusing to let him see the truth in her eyes. She wouldn’t let him stop her.
“Don’t you think it’s rude to go wandering outside while we’re eating lunch?” Robert asked, a h
iss slipping out between his teeth. His fingers pinched into her arm, and her face snapped up to meet his.
His eyes were sharp, mouth set. For an instant, she was frightened. Afraid that he might prevent her from leaving. That he'd find out her secret.
But there was nothing he could do to stop her. Unless he planned on having her tied up like a dog for the rest of her life, she was going to walk away.
“I thought it’d be more rude to pass water here on the dining room floor.”
Behind Robert’s back, Mrs. Murphy threw her hand over her mouth with a gasp.
Sadie’s eyes hardened, and she snatched her arm free. “So if you’ll excuse me.”
Robert didn’t make to grab her again, but his eyes cut into her. His thin lips pressed against one another until they whitened, and she grimaced, wheeling away from him and hurrying down the hallway.
She held her breath as her dress shoes clicked on the wood, listening for the boots on her tail, but none came. She picked up the pace, passing the back door that led to the outhouse and continued down the next hallway to the bedrooms.
She had less than a minute, she figured, before someone realized she hadn’t gone outside. Just enough time to snatch a few things from her room and run.
The door crashed open under her hand, and she dove for the saddle bag in the corner. She’d brought it in from the barn a few days ago to store her things. Thank goodness. Perhaps she’d known all along, deep down in the depths of her soul, that she couldn’t stay. Her destiny lay elsewhere.
She double-checked the side stuffed with letters. They were bundled neatly inside, all read at least once by now. She smiled at the sight of them and buckled the flap back. Then she ripped a couple dresses from the stool next to her bed and shoved them down in the second satchel. The pants and shirt she’d arrived in had since disappeared, but she hadn’t been shocked by it. Thankfully it was no longer his business what she wore.
Her boots still sat in the corner, however, and she kicked off her dress shoes to pull them on. They peered out from beneath the hem of her long olive green dress.
Then she was gone.
She crept back down the hall in a rush. Her boots made less noise than the hard soles of those heeled shoes, but she still didn’t want to draw attention. At the rear exit, she slipped outside silently and closed the door.
The wind and fresh air hit her like a wave of euphoria.
It’d never occurred to her how trapped she’d been living in the forest with Papa. Sure, she was outside and away from all the busy town, but she was still confined to the cabin or anywhere she traveled with Papa. She’d never felt so free as she had riding next to Clay in the forest or sitting around the campfire with the Van den Berg women. She had people to talk to and new things to see.
Coming back to the Murphy plantation had opened her eyes. It was worse than her small cabin in the woods. Even with people bustling around it all the time, it was lonely.
With her saddlebags hoisted on her shoulder, Sadie ran for the barn. Her dress gathered and flowed around her legs in the tall grass. Even with the sun at high noon, the air had a chill. It was energizing, and she grinned as she ran.
One of the wide barn doors stood open, and she dashed inside and down the aisle. Clover stood dozing in a stall near the front, and her ears perked up at the approaching footsteps.
“Hey, shh. It’s me,” Sadie whispered.
She dropped the satchels and opened the stall. The mare whuffled a greeting as Sadie led her out.
“Be quiet. We’re getting out of here.”
The saddle she’d ridden in on was propped next to the wall. Her short frame was almost too small to get the saddle up over her shoulder, but she flung it with a surprising burst of energy. She secured her tack and saddlebags with excited fingers, then mounted in a flurry.
“Let’s get out of here!” she whispered.
Clover clopped down the barn aisle and out the open door. Her muscles bunched to take off across the grass, but she jolted to the side with a sheer whinny instead. Sadie grabbed a fistful of her mane to keep from toppling off and held tight as the horse tossed her head. When Sadie managed to pull herself upright, she saw what had spooked her.
Robert was crouched just outside the door, arms up to shield his face from the excited horse. His eyes met hers, and he popped up again, lowering his hands to smooth out his vest.
“What is going on?” he barked.
She considered telling him for half a breath, but the very thought of discussing it with him turned her stomach. She didn’t want a single other person to tell her what was best for her.
After a short pause, she pulled on Clover’s reins and wheeled her around the side of the barn. Robert shouted after them, but Sadie didn’t look back. She just leaned over the mare’s shoulders and asked her for more speed. They flew across the field.
People were yelling back at the house. Sadie peeked under her elbow. The family was standing outside, watching the chaos. Mrs. Murphy was marching toward Robert and the barn, pointing and yelling.
“That’s your capital! Don’t let her get away!”
Sadie squeezed her knees in tighter to Clover’s side and set her eyes on the road ahead. Her freedom.
The Murphy plantation sat just on the edge of Emerald Falls, less than a mile from the main street, and as soon as she rode out from beyond the buildings and onto the road, she could see the town in the distance. Her heart sang. Soon she would be away from the Murphys and on her way back to Clay.
Except she didn’t know where the Van den Berg camp was.
Only that it was on the opposite side of Emerald Falls. Once she was through town, she could try to pinpoint where in the trees it might be. There were only so many forests in the Absaroka Valley. She just had to keep pressing forward.
It didn’t take them long to reach town at a full gallop, but they had to drop their pace quickly once they arrived.
Emerald Falls was a busy place at noon. Pedestrians were everywhere. Even groups of children out to play during lunch time ran up and down the main street. A handful of wagons moved along either side of the pathway with horse and riders meandering through.
It was a rare sight for Sadie, who normally helped Papa sell his wares in the early morning and saw little of the actual life around Emerald Falls. She stared for a moment before setting her eyes on the post office at the far end of the long strip. That was her way out. Beyond the building and the train track and out into the open world.
She just had to hold onto the hope that she could navigate the big wilderness on her own.
Just as the fleeting fear passed through her, she caught a glimpse of something that nearly made her heart jump out of her body.
A cream horse’s hide and the soft black and white edges of a tail disappearing around the corner of the saloon. Georgene. Excitement leapt within her like live crickets, and she could barely move her legs to push Clover on faster.
“Excuse me,” Sadie murmured to no one in particular as she wove through two wagons in the road, eyes fixed on the spot she’d seen the tail disappear.
It was four buildings away, but she could make it before Georgene got too far away.
There was no way Clay would have let anyone else ride Georgene. He was in Emerald Falls. So close to her. Her fingers trembled, and her pulse thrummed through her with wild abandon.
The wagons passed and a clear strip opened on the road. Sadie heeled Clover onward, but someone stepped into their path. The mare jerked to a stop, nearly sending Sadie flying over her head. Sadie clutched at her saddle horn with a gnarled frown.
"What the hell do you―" Sadie growled and was shocked to find Mary Lou standing in the street in front of her.
The woman wore an oblivious smile, unconcerned that she’d nearly been trampled. She waved with a lighthearted greeting.
“Where you off to so fast?” the woman chirped.
Sadie weighed her options for departure. A wagon to the left. Another rider to th
e right, too close beyond Mary Lou to push past.
“Excuse me,” Sadie scoffed, finally staring down at Mary Lou.
She didn’t seem fazed by the attitude.
“You going off somewhere on your own?”
Fire boiled in Sadie’s stomach. “I can go somewhere by myself if I damn well want to!”
Mary Lou’s eyes widened a fraction, and she placed a hand on her chest. “My. Testy, aren’t we? Why didn’t you ride in with Robert?”
Sadie’s fingers tightened on her reins until she thought she might rip the leather in two. “Because I didn’t want to,” she hissed through clenched teeth.
“Oh, I see. Did he know that? Because he’s coming.”
Sadie twisted in the saddle with wide eyes. At the back end of the main street, Robert pushed his black horse through stalled wagons and a group of pedestrians. His eyes locked on hers, and her soul sank with a frustrated scream.
Chapter 22
Sadie was kicking her horse before she was even settled back into the saddle. Clover moved her head side to side with a frustrated bellow as she tried to step past Mary Lou. The infuriating woman stood still in the road, staring up at them like a damn judgment-wielding imp.
“Move your ass!” Sadie growled as she pushed Clover forward, clipping Mary Lou in the shoulder and bouncing off the nearby horse and rider.
Sadie mumbled her apologies but kept going, finally freeing them from the tangle and trotting down the street. Pedestrians hopped to the side and hugged the edges of the road as she came through. She imagined they might all be staring at her in horror, yelling at her to slow down, but she didn’t take a moment to peek at any of them. Her eyes were locked onto the red wood corner of the saloon where Georgene’s tail had disappeared. Her focus sharpened still as they slowed down to make the turn.
She could not let Clay get away.
The side road traveled alongside the post office and the train track, then curved back around up through the backside of town. Beyond the edge of the mail delivery shed, wide open green fields stretched. In the distance, she spotted Georgene’s flashy tail and a familiar black hat. The surge within her was enough to make her squeak out a breath.