by L A Cotton
My fucking disaster of a life.
“Yeah, I didn’t think so,” I added when she didn’t reply. “We can all pretend, go back to normal again, but we all know, everyone will just be waiting for me to screw up again.”
“You’re wrong.” Eva gave me a sad smile. “So wrong,” she said.
“Nah, Angel. It’s you who’s got it all wrong. I’m not some project to be fixed, some charity case to be saved. Everything I touch turns to ash. You’re better off without me.”
“Levi, that’s not—”
I flopped back on the couch, feeling myself begin to crash. Here, away from the fast-paced life of touring, it was harder to stave off the exhausting lows.
“Just go, Eva,” I said through gritted teeth, refusing to meet her sympathetic gaze. “Just go and don’t come back.”
The air shifted as she got up. “You think you’re unredeemable, that you don’t deserve to be happy or loved, but you’re wrong, Levi. And I hope that one day, you realize that.”
A few weeks ago, her words would have touched something inside me. But not anymore. The video of me and Riley wasn’t just a betrayal, it was a reminder.
Just as my mother used to tell me, I was and always would be, a worthless fuck-up.
Phoebe
When my dad got me the job working at Razorsharp Records, I’d expected to be making coffees for music execs and filing paperwork in some back room office. I hadn’t expected to find myself interning with Letty Panem, PA to one of the hottest rock bands of the moment—Black Hearts Still Beat.
But where Black Hearts went, scandal and chaos usually followed.
Thrown into a world of sex, drugs, and rock and roll when they were just teenagers, Levi and Rafe Hunter, Hudson Ryker, and Damon Donnelley had whipped up their fair share of media frenzies. Crazed crowds of teenage girls, out of control parties, and rumors of a revolving door of women were but a few of the band’s escapades.
But no member attracted media interest more than Levi Hunter.
He was the band’s enigma. The brooding and arrogant bad boy with the voice of a rock god. Levi gave zero fucks and the fans lapped it up.
Before joining the label, I’d heard their music, seen the odd performance on the television, but nothing could have prepared me for experiencing it firsthand. Levi didn’t just perform their songs, he bled them out on the stage. His lyrics were ammunition, his voice the weapon, and the crowd his battleground … and he slayed it every damn time.
But the Black Hearts front man was damaged. Tortured in the way that most rock stars were. A string of drug induced misdemeanors had landed him in rehab last year. By the time I joined the band, he’d been doing better...
Until the story hit.
It had been ten days of madness while the label tried to get the fallout under control. Letty and Alistair, the band’s manager, were working around the clock to get the video pulled from social media, but it was no easy task once something had gone viral the way it had.
“Phoebe,” she called. “We’re ready.”
I followed her into the conference room of the hotel we were staying at. Alistair joined us and after pressing a couple of buttons, the PR team at Razorsharp Records appeared on the screen.
“Ali,” Dusty Higston said, “tell me something good.”
“She won’t budge.” Alistair grimaced. “She wants one mil to disappear.”
“The label will never agree to it. Legal will nail her ass to the wall.”
“But it’ll be too late by then. If she gives the exclusive, the story will be out.”
“Fucking traitorous little...” he stopped himself, yanking his collar from his thick neck. “Options people, give me options.”
“We negotiate—” someone around his table started.
“Not an option.”
“We offer her five-hundred grand,” Alistair piped up, “and hope she takes it. The band will take the hit.”
“Too fucking right, they will. We wouldn’t be in this mess if Levi had managed to keep his nose clean and dick out of the staff.”
“Dusty,” Alistair warned.
“Ali’s right,” Letty added. “Riley is just looking for her meal ticket. Offer her the money and I’ll arrange an exclusive with The Rock Report to spin this in a better light.”
“There’s a better angle here?”
“There’s always a better angle, Dusty, you should know that. Levi had some bad news and fell off the wagon, and his manipulative assistant saw an opportunity to make a quick buck. The Die Hearts are already backing Levi and the band.”
“Yeah, but the ratings with the younger demographic are falling through the floor.”
“You need to use Eva. She’s the key.” Letty sat back, completely calm and composed. “You wanted to get her into the studio, now’s your chance. But I think it should be a collaboration with the band.”
Silence filled the room as Dusty steepled his fingers. “A collab, you say?”
She nodded. “The fans love it when Levi brings Eva out on stage. Their hashtag #HunterWalkerMagic trended for two weeks straight. We can harness that.”
“Alistair?”
“It’s the best option we have right now. Levi has a history of bad behavior, it’s nothing new. But the video forces people to acknowledge it. If we can bury Riley…” He hesitated, running a hand down his face. I’d heard rumors he and Riley had history, so I couldn’t imagine how he must be feeling. “And flood the channels with a collab and The Rock Report exclusive, we might be able to turn it around.”
Dusty considered Alistair’s words for a minute, conferring quietly with his team. “Make it happen. I want them in the studio pronto. But you’d better tell your boy he’s walking a fine line, Portman. He needs to get his shit locked down or the band could lose the Masterpiece endorsement and they might as well kiss the international leg of the tour goodbye.”
Letty sucked in a sharp breath, as if Dusty’s threat was worse than she expected. I didn’t know what to expect because I’d never been an assistant to a band before, let alone sat in a meeting such as this one.
But I didn’t doubt that if they knew how well I knew Levi, there was every chance I wouldn’t be sitting here right now.
I forced down those thoughts. Levi was a mistake. One I didn’t intend on making again. The second I saw the video, I knew I couldn’t do it again. I couldn’t be second string to a substance addiction. I’d walked that road before, and it had gotten me nothing but a broken heart and scars so deep I wasn’t sure they would ever fade.
From now on, my relationship with Levi and the band would remain strictly professional.
Because that’s all we could ever be.
He was an addict, and I was an addict’s ex-girlfriend. We were like fire and ice—a disastrous combination.
“Phoebe?” Letty’s voice made me blink.
“Sorry, what?”
“Alistair wants us to go and see Levi, prep him on everything.” She gave me a tight smile. It was then I realized Alistair had already left and the screen was off.
We were alone.
“I can do it if—”
“No, it’s fine.” I nodded, unsure who I was trying to convince more.
“Okay, then. I’ll call ahead and let Johnson know we’re on our way.” She gathered up her things.
“What will happen with Riley?” I asked as we exited the room and headed for the elevator.
“Legal will handle it. She’ll get paid off to keep quiet, and they’ll lock her into an airtight contract.”
“Didn’t she have the contract before though, and that didn’t stop her manipulating the band.” The words soured on my tongue. I didn’t know Riley from Adam, but I hated her for what she’d done to the band. To Levi.
“This industry is all one big game.” We entered their elevator and Letty hit the button for the ground floor. “She made her play, now it’s our turn to make ours.”
“And Levi?” Just saying his name made my heart
clench. He reminded me so much of my ex, Zephyr. Lost, angry... afraid. Levi had issues; everyone could see that. But music was his salvation, his therapy. It wasn’t a cure though. That could only come from inside.
Letty gave me a weak smile. “Let’s go see what he has to say.”
I took a deep breath as I followed Letty inside the suite where the label had banished Levi. It was everything I’d come to expect from my short time with the band: big, modern, with no expense spared where the furniture and décor was concerned.
“Levi,” she called.
“Fuck off,” he grumbled from somewhere inside the room.
I leaned over her shoulder and pointed at the bare foot just visible over the top of the huge sectional.
“Come on, Hunter, we need to talk.”
“I said fuck off.”
She let out an exasperated breath.
“Let me,” I mouthed at her and she nodded, giving me space to move around her.
“Levi,” I said. “We really need to talk.”
“Phoebe?” He sat up, rubbing his eyes. “What are you—” He glanced down at his tight black boxers and muttered under his breath.
“Maybe go get dressed?” I suggested, heat rushing through me. “And then we’ll talk.”
“Uh, yeah.” He clambered to his feet, and I tried to look anywhere but at his ripped, inked body.
God, he was magnificent.
“I’ll just...” He ducked into one of the other rooms.
“Okay,” Letty said, “that was just weird. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the infamous Levi Hunter act... embarrassed.”
“I fucking heard that, Panem,” he yelled.
Less than thirty seconds later, he reappeared dressed in jeans and a Blood Runs Thicker tour t-shirt. He ran a hand through his hair. It had grown longer in the last couple of weeks.
“You should try opening a window in here,” Letty teased. “The place smells worse than a men’s locker room.”
“Are you here to bust my balls or because you have actual news?” His eyes flicked to mine, softening.
“We had a conference call with Dusty and his team. Riley is asking for one mil.”
“I hope they told her to go fuck herself. Traitorous bitch.”
I flinched at the venom in his tone. But I knew Levi well enough to know he didn’t appreciate disloyalty.
“Levi, you know that’s not how this works.”
“She broke the NDA,” he hissed, “legal should nail her ass to the fucking wall.”
“But it wouldn’t stop her leaking the full story. The video has already caused enough damage. If she gives the exclusive who knows what bullshit she’ll say. That wouldn’t be good for you or the band.”
“Fuck.” Levi clenched his hand into a tight fist. His jaw was set, his dark eyes narrowed to thin slits. He was furious, anger rolling off him like a volcano on the verge of erupting.
“I’m not giving that manipulative bitch a cent.”
“Good thing you don’t get to make that call then. Dusty agreed on five-hundred grand. They’ll call her bluff with court action if she doesn’t take it. But she will.”
He scrubbed his jaw, studying Letty. “How can you be so sure?”
“Because I worked with her for the last two years. I know how she thinks, and she only wants the money.”
“What do you think?” Levi fixed his eyes right on me and I felt myself grow hot all over again. He didn’t just look at me, his eyes seared me to the very bone.
There was intense, and then there was Levi Hunter.
“M- Me?” I choked out.
“Yeah, Intern, you.”
Intern.
My fingers curled around the edge of the couch. It’s what he’d called me when I’d first joined the tour. I suspected it was Levi’s way of distancing himself from people, of reducing them to something less than their given name.
But now... now he said the word with such intimacy, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was toying with me.
Steeling my spine, I replied, “Well, I don’t think you have much choice. This is bigger than just you, Levi. You have to think about the band.”
Something flickered in his dark gaze, and a shiver ran through me.
“Levi,” Letty hissed, drawing his attention. Released from his scrutiny, I let out a shaky breath. “We didn’t come to debate the plan. This is the plan. Legal will handle Riley. It’s my job to handle the band’s image.”
He groaned, sinking back against the huge cushions littering the sectional. “And what, pray tell, do you have in mind this time?”
A faint smile traced Letty’s mouth. “You’re in the studio first thing tomorrow.”
“The studio?” That piqued his interest.
“Everyone agreed we need a distraction, something to draw people’s eye off your latest indiscretion.”
He scoffed at that. I pressed my lips together, trying to focus. The last thing I wanted to think about was Levi snorting cocaine off that traitor’s body.
“You talked to the guys about this?”
“Not yet. We wanted to talk to you first.”
Confusion clouded his eyes. “What’s the catch?”
“It’s a collaboration.”
“Eva...” Her name was a whispered sigh on his lips.
“The label has been wanting to get her into the studio, and what better way to improve your image than have the band release a record with the sweetheart of Country?”
“Shit, Letty...”
“It’s the right move, Levi.”
“I don’t like the idea of using her like that.”
“It’s not like that and you know it. Masterpiece wanted Black Hearts and Eva because Dowager saw what everyone else sees, the two of you together, it’s effortless. It shouldn’t work, but it does. We have to play on that, now more than ever.”
“Do you have a song in mind?” There was a cautious edge to his voice.
Letty glanced between us and smiled. “Actually, I do.”
Levi
“It’s good to see you, man,” Damon pulled me in for a guy-hug, slapping me on the back.
“Yeah,” I clipped out, feeling irritation trickling up my spine.
“How was lockdown?” Hudson asked from across the room.
“Fuck you, Ryker.”
“Glad to see you didn’t lose your sense of humor.” He smirked.
I flipped him off and moved deeper into the studio, dropping down on a leather couch. The recording booth was beyond the huge glass partition. But I didn’t feel the usual tingle I felt whenever we were about to record something new.
There was a commotion over by the door, and my brother and Eva entered the studio, laughing and joking. They might as well have been in their own little world.
I rubbed my jaw, stuffing down the urge to run. I was contracted to be here. That’s what happened when you sold your soul to the devil.
Razorsharp Records owned my ass, whether I liked it or not. I could refuse to be here, take off on one of my benders and leave it to Rafe and the guys to pick up the pieces... and believe me, part of me wanted to. Part of me didn’t want to be here, watching my brother and his girl, feeling their love infect everything around them. But the other part, the tiny sliver of humanity I managed to cling onto, knew I couldn’t walk out on them. Not this time.
This was my mess.
I did this.
So come hell or high water, no matter how much it sucked for me, I had to try to fix it.
But a collaboration with Eva?
Fuck.
I would have gladly taken anything but that.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to sing with Eva, she was amazing. Talent bled from her pores like sweat. We sang all the time together on stage for the tour—but this was different. This was us creating something together. Inviting her into my head like that, it scared the fuck out of me.
“Levi.” Her voice was like an explosion in my brain.
“Y- yeah?” I bli
nked up at Eva, and her smile softened.
“I asked how you were?” Concerned glittered in her eyes.
Once upon a time, I would have mistaken it for a play. But I knew she was Rafe’s. She’d chosen him. My brother. The better half of my fucking soul.
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Levi.” The warning in Rafe’s voice made my jaw tic.
“Yeah, yeah, okay. Fine. I got the memo, brother.”
Just then, Letty and Alistair entered their studio. “How are we this morning?” he asked, letting his narrowed gaze settle on me.
“Peachy with a side of keen,” I drawled.
“Good to hear it. This is Letty’s idea so she’s running the show.”
“Where’s Pheebs?” Hudson chimed, throwing me a knowing look.
Fucker.
“She’s... taken a personal day. Don’t worry, she’ll be back tomorrow.”
My brows furrowed.
A personal day?
Something inside me twisted. Was she avoiding me?
I couldn’t blame her if she was.
After Alistair announced the label wanted to take the tour international—with the band and Eva—we’d celebrated. Nothing crazy, just the band, Eva’s parents, and her best friend from back home, and some people from our inner circle. I’d ended up spending the night with Phoebe.
She’d blown my fucking mind, and I couldn’t get enough of her. But then, morning had rolled around and with it, news that a video was going viral of me and Riley. Phoebe had barely looked twice at me since.
Fuck.
My fist clenched against the arm of the couch. Just when things were starting to look up. The band was in a good place, the tour was going better than any of us expected, and I felt more stable than I had in a while. Then everything came crashing down around me, reminding me that my life would never be my own. That every mistake, every moment of madness, every time I slipped off the wagon... a hungry pack of wolves would be right there waiting to capture it on camera and share it with the world.
Newsflash: Levi Hunter fucked up... again.
But this time was different because Riley had betrayed us. She’d manipulated me and used me to her own ends, and now, all I could think about was destroying her. The need for revenge was like poison in my veins. She came after me, came after the band. And now I wanted her to pay.