Downstairs, while she waited for the kettle to boil, she sent Barry a message.
It’s better this way. I’m sorry.
Later, she and Nathan headed out for a late lunch in their favourite pub. She made more of an effort than she would normally have done for such a casual meal, wearing a dress rather than jeans, and tying her hair back in a loose ponytail at the nape of her neck.
‘You look nice,’ Nathan said when she joined him in the hallway.
‘Still celebrating my twenty-fifth anniversary to the man I love.’ She hoped she wasn’t overdoing it but she saw his smile and guessed everything was okay.
Outside, the sun was shining. The pub was only a short walk away. Keri slipped her hand into Nathan’s and ignored his look of surprise. They always used to hold hands, when did they stop? When his fingers tightened around hers, she looked at him. ‘Happy?’
‘How could I not be?’
A twinge of guilt dimmed Keri’s pleasure in his response. How could he not be? Perhaps, if he knew the truth about his loving wife.
He was never going to know. And she’d make it up to him.
The pub was, as usual, busy but they were in luck and found a table free near the window.
‘Perfect,’ Keri said, sitting on one side. ‘I’m glad it’s just us.’
‘Me too. Abbie and Dan are great but they’re exhausting.’ He jerked his thumb towards the bar. ‘Glass of wine?’
‘No, I’d enough last night to do me for a while. I’ll have a sparkling mineral water, please.’
While Nathan was gone, she pulled out her phone wondering if Barry had replied. He had, and with a quick look to the bar where Nathan was placing his order, she opened it to read.
You used me, you bitch, you’ll regret this.
It was so unexpected it drew a gasp from her. Her thumb hovered as she tried to think of a suitable reply but she could see Nathan was on his way back. She put her mobile away and pasted a smile in place as he arrived with a drink in each hand.
‘I thought I’d have hair of the dog,’ he said sitting and taking a mouthful of beer. ‘I ordered your usual food, that okay?’
Keri always had the same when they ate there; beer-battered haddock, chips, and mushy peas. The thought of eating that now made her want to heave. ‘Yes, that’s fine, although I’m not really that hungry after the huge meal last night.’ She thought Nathan hadn’t noticed that she’d eaten little so was surprised when he put a hand on her arm and looked at her in concern.
‘You didn’t eat much of your dinner, Keri. Is everything okay? You’re not feeling sick, or anything.’
She put her hand over his. ‘No, I’m fine. If you must know, I’m trying to lose some weight. My clothes have become a little tight recently.’ She was horrified how easily the lie slipped from her mouth but it worked, Nathan relaxed.
‘You’re being daft, you’re perfect.’
Perfect. If only he knew. Keri’s heart twisted, her stomach churned. What had she done? You used me, you bitch, you’ll regret this.
You’ll regret this.
She already did.
8
After lunch, Nathan wanted to go for a walk but Keri pleaded tiredness.
‘You sure you’re okay?’ His voice was laced with concern.
If she could confess, offload the guilt, she’d feel much better. How selfish that would be, to destroy him for her own ends. ‘I’m fine, honestly, maybe I’m not up to the late nights and excess alcohol anymore.’ She reached for his hand as they left the pub, keeping hold of it as they walked home.
Abbie and Daniel hadn’t returned to fill the rooms with their individual brand of noise so the house was quiet. Peaceful and soothing, a balm for Keri’s unsettled mind.
‘I might do a little work if you don’t mind,’ Nathan said.
‘No, that’s okay. I think I’ll find a movie and relax.’ She changed into jersey trousers and T-shirt, switched on the TV, and found a movie she’d never seen before. It might keep her mind off things. She swung her legs up onto the sofa and rested her head against a cushion. The perfect position for relaxation but her hands were clenched into fists, her lips pressed together. A line of tension pulled her feet down, her chin up. Every time she tried to forget it, Barry’s message would leap into her head and wind that line tighter.
She knew it wasn’t really his words that had put her on the rack, it was her guilt.
What if Nathan found out?
Was that what Barry had meant by you’ll regret this? Would he do such a terrible thing as to tell Nathan?
How much did she really know about him? She gave a self-accusatory snort. As much as she’d wanted to, which wasn’t much. Had he been right, had she merely used him for some exciting extramarital sex?
She hadn’t yet replied to his message, unable to think of anything suitable. High-pitched screams came from the TV. Dinosaurs were chasing people, biting their heads off. It was probably supposed to be terrifying but it didn’t come close to the terror she felt as Barry’s message flashed before her eyes at regular intervals.
She needed to do something. First, she had to make sure it was safe. She went out to the hallway. Silence. Nathan was probably still working. Shutting the door firmly behind her, she returned to the sofa and picked up her phone. There was no point in putting it off. Without considering what she was going to say, she dialled Barry’s number.
To her surprise, it was answered almost immediately. He had to have known it was her, but his usual pleasant hello was absent. Instead, he gave a grunted, ‘Yes.’
‘Hi.’ As a conversation starter it wasn’t her best opening line.
Barry seemed to agree. ‘I thought I’d made myself clear. I don’t want to hear from you.’
‘But–’
‘No, no buts. You made your choice. Not that there was ever a choice really, was there? You never had any intention of leaving your husband. You used me, Keri, it’s not a very pleasant sensation.’
It didn’t seem the right moment to argue that she’d never said she was going to leave Nathan, that her relationship with Barry was supposed to be fun. He was her bit on the side. How tawdry it sounded. ‘You said that I’d regret not meeting you. What did you mean by that?’
‘Just what I said. That you’d regret it… that’s why you’re ringing me, isn’t it? Because you do, but it’s too late. I don’t like being messed around. Women like you, desperately trying to hang onto the idea that they’re beautiful and desirable, are two a penny. Well, you’re still beautiful but I no longer find you desirable. I don’t like being messed around, remember that.’ He hung up without waiting for her response.
Shocked by the cold hard anger and the sneering contempt she’d heard in his voice, she dropped the phone and collapsed back against the cushions.
She’d brought this on herself. Now her guilt was fringed with fear.
Anger made people do terrible things. How far was Barry willing to go in retaliation?
9
Keri didn’t sleep well that night. A dinosaur had escaped from that daft movie she’d been watching and it chased through her dreams, biting her head off when she tried to talk to it. It didn’t take a knowledge of psychoanalysis to understand that she’d turned Barry into a larger-than-life monster ready to destroy her.
It was a Sunday morning tradition in their house that she would cook a big breakfast for whoever was home. Burying herself in the mundanity of its preparation kept her occupied. Abbie and Daniel had come home in the early hours, separately, each attempting to get to their rooms without making too much noise, taking off their shoes and tiptoeing up the stairs. She heard every muffled footstep, the soft click as they shut their doors.
It wasn’t unusual for her to stay awake until they returned home. Then, knowing they were safe, she’d fall asleep. Not that night. It wasn’t worrying about her two children that kept her awake, it wasn’t them who’d done something stupid.
She took out two frying pans and began
the breakfast ritual. Within ten minutes, Abbie and Daniel had joined her. They sat on stools at the broad, granite-topped breakfast bar that separated the kitchen from the living room and chatted about where they’d been the night before.
Keri was lucky. Her son and daughter were happy to talk about their lives. No moody, stroppy young adults to cause her angst. They were open and honest, and she knew all about their dynamic, exciting full-of-possibilities world.
Didn’t she?
She flipped over the eggs and wondered if her children had secrets… as she had.
The formal dining room, accessed through a doorway from the kitchen, was rarely used. The family sat around the breakfast bar and helped themselves from the trays of food Keri placed in the middle.
‘This is great, Ma.’ Daniel waved the fork he was holding, a trio of sausage, bacon and black pudding impaled on the end.
‘The perfect start to a Sunday,’ Abbie agreed.
Keri smiled at them. Her plate held one piece of bacon and an egg, neither of which she wanted but she was unwilling to cause concern by taking nothing. Neither of the twins noticed her restraint, focused as they were on their own breakfasts.
Nathan did, of course, and raised an eyebrow. She speared a piece of bacon and waved it at him in reply, smiling when he shook his head.
If she could have pushed Barry from her mind as easily as she appeared to have put him from her life, Keri would have been able to relax. She wanted to believe his words were simply those of an angry, scorned man, that he meant nothing more by what he’d said. That she’d got off that lightly.
‘Do you want a hand to clean up?’ Abbie asked when they were finished. She or Daniel always asked, Keri always refused and sent them on their way. One of these days, she’d stop playing superwoman and shock them by accepting. Nathan helped, munching on the last remaining sausage as he cleared away the dirty plates and stacked them neatly in the dishwasher.
They’d barely finished before the twins appeared in the doorway. ‘We’re off to meet friends, see you later this afternoon,’ Abbie said, Daniel adding a wave as his contribution.
Keri dropped the cloth she’d been using to clean the breakfast bar and walked with them to the front door. ‘Have a good time, whatever you’re up to.’ She didn’t remind them to let her know if they weren’t coming home. As parents, she and Nathan were fairly laid-back but that was one rule they insisted on.
Daniel gave her a hug, opened the front door and stepped outside.
‘Bye, Mum.’ Abbie pressed a kiss to Keri’s cheek. ‘We’ll be back in a few hours in time for dinner.’ She grinned as Keri shook her head. ‘It’s a mother’s duty to feed her young.’
‘Young!’ Keri laughed and gave her a gentle shove. ‘Go, I’ll go to a lot of trouble and defrost something exciting for later.’
‘Sounds good to me.’
‘Hey, what’s this?’
Keri and Abbie turned to look out the doorway to where Daniel was standing with a wreath in his hands.
He held it up. ‘It was resting against the step.’
Keri stared in surprise at the arrangement of plum-coloured carnations and dusky leaves. ‘Is there a card?’
‘Yes.’ He pulled a small envelope from the edge of the wreath.
A shiver of foreboding slithered down Keri’s back. She wanted to grab the envelope from him and open it in secret, her breath catching as Daniel fumbled with the flap of the envelope to pull the card out.
‘It says RIP.’ He flicked the card to see the reverse. ‘That’s it. RIP. No name.’ He slipped the card back. ‘Must have been delivered here by mistake. I wonder why they didn’t ring the doorbell. How stupid.’ He tucked the envelope back in place. ‘There’s a florist’s sticker on the back of it, you’d better give them a buzz and tell them they’ve fucked up.’
‘Dan, language,’ Keri said automatically.
‘Seemed appropriate.’ He handed the wreath to her.
She didn’t want to take it, her reluctance making her son laugh. ‘What? You think it’s a bad omen or something? It’s a mistake, Ma. It happens.’
Abbie frowned at him. ‘Give it to me. I’ll put it in the utility room, it’ll be cool enough in there. I’ll give the card to Dad, he can ring them.’
‘No, that’s okay.’ Keri shook her head and reached for it. ‘I was being silly, I’ll do it. You two go and enjoy yourselves, we’ll see you later.’ The wreath hung heavily from her hand as she waved goodbye until the twins had vanished from sight.
Only then did she pull it up to look at it with critical eyes. Even without the stark message on the card, the dark-coloured flowers and foliage made it obviously a funeral wreath. Someone was determined there would be no mistake. No mistake in where it was delivered either.
You’ll regret this.
It had to be from Barry. The bastard. She tried to focus her anger on him, but it was coming back and smacking her across the face. It was all her fault.
All her damn fault for being so stupid. She lashed herself with the anger, desperately wanting to hold onto it because it was better than the other emotion that was lurking… the one that crept over her, pushed the anger away and seeped in through her pores to leave her trembling… Fear.
Because if Barry had sent the wreath, what might he do next?
10
Keri took the envelope and dropped the wreath to the side of the steps.
Back inside, the TV was blaring and there was a roar of excitement from Nathan. Football. That was him safely out of her way for a while.
To be sure of privacy, she went upstairs to their bedroom to make the call.
‘Richter’s Florists, how can I help you?’
‘Hi.’ Keri swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. ‘We had a wreath delivered here today by mistake. Your details were on the card.’
There was a second’s silence. ‘Goodness, I’m terribly sorry. Could I have your address please, and I’ll see if perhaps it was delivered to the wrong place.’
Keri gave their address and waited. When the landline rang, she swore under her breath. It stopped after a couple of rings indicating Nathan had answered. In case the call was for her and he came in search, she stepped into the en suite and shut the door.
‘Hi,’ the florist’s voice came back. ‘I’m afraid that’s where we were asked to deliver to. The person who ordered it must have given the wrong details.’
‘The wreath was left outside. Your people didn’t even ring the bell.’
‘They were the instructions we were given. I’m reading it now. It says not to disturb the occupant by ringing, that we were to rest it on the front doorstep.’
‘Okay.’ Keri wiped a hand over her eyes. ‘Do you have the details of the person who ordered them? Perhaps you could ask them for the correct address.’ The silence on the other end was protracted and she wondered had she been cut off. ‘Hello?’
‘Hello. Sorry, I was checking our computer. I’m afraid we don’t. It was a cash purchase in the shop. They didn’t leave a phone number so we’ve no way of contacting them.’
‘Fine.’ It was anything but. It was a long bloody way from fine. ‘Send someone to pick it up, please, I don’t want it here. It’s by the front steps. As soon as possible, please.’ She hung up without waiting for a reply.
Keri half expected a message from Barry to gloat over the wreath but despite checking frequently over the afternoon and evening there was nothing. Nathan was glued to the football so she didn’t have to explain about the wreath lying sadly on their doorstep and next time she checked, it was gone.
She tried ringing Barry’s number but it rang off. Did he want her to beg, was that it? She would have done. She’d have done anything to protect her family. Her newly awakened conscience nudged her painfully. Pity you didn’t think about that before.
It was time for damage limitation, something she was good at after years dealing with such a large cross-section of people in interlinking industries. Her philosophy had alwa
ys been to get things out in the open so everyone knew where each other stood. She ignored the snide chuckle her conscience gave and concentrated on what she was going to do.
Tomorrow. She’d call into Barry’s office and speak to him. Apologise again. Beg if needs be.
On Monday morning it was only Keri and Nathan for breakfast. Abbie and Daniel had left after dinner the previous evening to stay overnight with friends who lived nearer to the university. Since each had 9am lectures on a Monday, it was a frequent occurrence.
Keri poured cereal into two bowls and made mugs of instant coffee. ‘Have you a busy day?’
‘Not too bad,’ Nathan said, pulling a bowl forward and reaching for a spoon. ‘What about you?’
‘Nothing too exciting.’ Nothing more than confronting the man she’d been having an affair with and begging him to leave her alone.
11
Monday mornings in the office were always busy. Theirs wasn’t a Monday to Friday business and there were issues that had arisen over the weekend that required Keri’s input. None were difficult, but all took time.
Mid-morning, Roy rapped on her door and came in with a takeaway coffee from her favourite café.
‘Angel,’ she said, taking it, flipping the plastic lid into the bin and sniffing the aroma. ‘This was what I needed.’
‘I thought it might be.’
Roy had been with them for almost eighteen years. The word godsend was frequently used in conjunction with his name. Officially the receptionist, his role was much more than that and she and Nathan depended on him. She had considered changing his title to ‘front of house manager’ or ‘administrator’ but he’d howled with laughter at the thought, so receptionist he remained.
She nodded toward her laptop. ‘I’ve most of the issues sorted. I need to go out for a bit, the rest can wait till I’m back.’
The Couple in the Photograph Page 3